The Line Of Fire
by Dream Walker's Obsession
Summary: **Sequel to Run Home, Comrade** Dimitri chased his dreams, but time away from home has taken its toll on him. He wants more family time, more from his life than just playing ball. Heading home to Arlington, he joins the Police Academy, his protective nature making him one of the finest officers to set foot on the streets. *AU* I do not own VA, ONLY the plot and a few OC.
1. IntroductionDescription

Hello you wonderful people, I have missed you guys!

So, This is the awaited sequel to Run Home, Comrade.

I plan to update this twice a week, maybe more...or less... depending on work and home life, it's baseball season now, my boys need their Auntie to help coach, sorry guys, but _they come first_.

(Haha, I couldn't help it, had to throw that in there somewhere, right?)

* * *

 **Description**

Dimitri chased his dreams, but time away from home has taken its toll on him. He wants more family time, more from his life than just playing ball.

Heading home to Arlington, he joins the Police Academy, his protective nature making him one of the finest officers to set foot on the streets.

However, the life of a Police Officer is not an easy one. When threats come to his livelihood and family, how will he be able to stand the line of fire?

The thin blue line is a tough one to walk, what do you do when the line is blurred and you have to choose between your blood or your badge?

* * *

 **Trigger Warnings**

There is a reason this is M rated from the beginning, there will be lemons throughout, that's a given, _but_ it will also contain some graphic details, such as death, blood, depression and general assaultive nature that one might see as a Police Officer.

I was a Dispatcher for many years, I have talked to many officers in that time and some content will be real life things I have witnessed or heard in my work. Names, locations, and such will, of course, be changed to fit our characters, but there is a bit of real life in the things Dimitri and Rose will endure.

This is your only warning, Lemons will still be marked, but other than that, no other trigger warning will be given. Please take that into consideration when reading.

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You can also follow me on Facebook for additional updates, snips, and photos for this story as well.

www dot facebook dot com/dreamwalkersobsession

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Now, Without further ado, I present,

 _ **The Line Of Fire**_


	2. Chapter One

_**Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters!**_

 _ **Chapter One**_

 _ **DPOV**_

 _ *****A Little Over Four Years Ago*****_

"What do you mean you're going to New York?" Rose screamed.

"They traded me, I have no choice."

I knew there was a chance of being traded during my contract, Abe had seen it when we were originally going over it. I just never thought it would actually happen.

"So what am I supposed to do? I can't really move right now, Dimitri!" she gestured to her perfectly round belly.

"I know, Roza, I think it's best if you stay here." I was trying to stay as calm as possible, she didn't need her blood pressure rising.

"Oh, so you get to go off and the time of your life while I am here raising your children by myself?"

"Rose, _I don't have a choice_. I signed a contract, if I try to get out of it, we will lose a lot of money in settlement fees. I can't do that to you, to us. Trust me, I don't want to go, I don't get to see you all as much as I would like to begin with!"

"Then don't go, Dad can help with the settlement, we can figure it out," her eyes gleamed with hope.

"I already talked to him, do you know how much money we would have to pay?", she shook her head, "Over a million dollars, considering I have only been paid just over that, we would lose everything."

"Still he can help, let him pay it."

"I am not taking money from your father," my voice lowered as I spoke through the grit in my teeth, "I made a commitment Rose, you knew this was a possibility when I signed."

"Yeah, but I didn't think I would be raising two kids on my own when we discussed it," her hope turned to anger in a single blink.

"I know."

We didn't plan on either of our children, more Sasha than Misha, but we were excited when we found out she was pregnant again. I never imagined having to leave her to do it by herself. When Coach Banister told me this morning that I was being traded to New York for a pitcher, I couldn't breathe. I knew Rose would take the news hard and want me to get out of it, so I went to Abe first thing. We checked over the agreement a hundred times, figuring out all the numbers. I wouldn't tell Rose, but Abe refused to help. His words were, "You made a deal and now you have to follow through, no true man goes back on his word." He was right, but when I signed I didn't think we would have two kids during that five years, life doesn't always go as planned.

"Just leave," turning her back to me, she started walking away.

"Roza, please, I would do anything I can to stay, but I don't have any options. We would be broke, I can't let that happen."

"We would get help, you just don't want to be here, it's fine, go. I will see you in two years," she closed the door to our room, locking it.

I tried to get her to open it, after about an hour of pleading I finally gave up, putting my back to the wall, I slid down, a traitorous tear falling down my cheek. I didn't want to leave, she has to know that, right? I couldn't let my family suffer by going back on my word. I had to go, I just hope she will be here when I get back.

I have no idea how long I sat there before I heard my daughter laughing from the front door. I wiped my face and got up from the cold floor.

"Papa!" she yelled as I came into view.

"Privet, devochka, ty poveselilsya s dedushkoy?" (Hello baby girl, did you have fun with grandpa?)

I wanted the kids to learn Russian early on, so I always spoke the language to them. Rose was learning, a bit slower though, I guess that would be on pause while I am gone.

"Why sad, Papa?" she looked up at me.

I kneeled down to her level, taking in every part of her, knowing it would all be different when I came back. Her short brown hair, the same color as Rose's, full of ringlet curls. I blame Janine for that. The chocolate brown eyes that mirrored my own, cute button nose and chubby little cheeks. I would be home in four months for offseason, but she would grow so much in that time. Hell, she grows every day right now, she's almost three and I can swear it was yesterday that I held her for the first time. She was so smart and witty, the best mix of Rose and I.

"I'm not sad, I am just so happy to see you." I wrapped her tightly in my arms.

"When are you…," Abe asked. I looked at the clock, I would need to report at the airport in under two hours.

"Soon," I looked back at my little girl, how am I supposed to tell her I am leaving?

I stood back up, still holding on to her, she rested her head in the crook of my neck. A silent tear falling from my eyes again.

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yeah, she is locked in our room right now."

"Did you tell her I told you to go?"

"No, she is already angry enough, I didn't want her pissed at you, too. I am worried about her being so upset, she is too far along to be getting worked up like this."

"We will take care of her, you go and do what you have to."

"Are you sure there is no way out of this?"

"I had Pavel look over it too, the only way out is to pay a restitution fee, it's more than you have put away."

I nodded my head, I really had no choice.

"Can you make sure when she goes into labor someone calls me, I would like if you or Mama can skype or facetime when he is born. I know it's not the same as being there, but I want to see them."

"I will, now, do you need a ride?"

"Mama is going to drive me, thanks though."

"I'll go let her know we are here, tell her...," he nodded toward Sasha, "I'll get Rose to come down to see you off." I nodded again as he walked toward the stairs, I headed to the living room to sit down with my princess.

"Malyshka," I pulled her back to look at her little face, "Papa has to go play baseball for a while," she smiled, she loved watching my games. "But I have to go to a different place, so I need you to be a good girl for Mama while I am gone, okay?"

"Why you have to go?" those puppy dog eyes, she is her mother's daughter, even with my coloring, that look was pure Rose.

"Because….because I have to play more," I didn't know how to say because I signed a contract like a dumbass and they are forcing me to leave.

"Yay! I like you play lots." I chuckled at her.

"YA lyublyu tebya, Sasha. Be good for your mother and DeDe, Okay?"

"Otay, Papa, I wuv you."

I held onto her another minute before Rose came down the stairs. Her eyes were ringed with red and puffy, lips swollen like she had been chewing them, my heart broke.

"Roza," I started, but she put her hand up.

"Don't..just...just go so you can come back."

"I love you, so- so much and I am sorry."

"I love you, too."

I kissed her plump lips and handed Sasha to her, kneeling down, I spoke to my son.

I knew Rose wasn't advanced enough with Russian yet to understand, which was probably a good thing right now. I told him that I love him and I am sorry that I wouldn't be here when he arrived into the world. I told him I would be home as soon as I could and I couldn't wait to meet him. Lastly, I let him know that I loved his Mama and Sister and he will too. I kissed Rose's stomach, before standing to kiss her one last time.

Shouldering my duffle, I headed out the door, sparing one last glance at my wife and children.

* * *

 _ *****Present Day*****_

"Roza, I'm home," I yelled as I walked in the front door.

"PAPA PAPA, look what I did today!" Sasha came running at me with a paper in her hands. I picked her up and looked to see what she had. She had taken to drawing recently, it wasn't anything Michelangelo worthy, but for a seven-year-old, not bad.

"It's beautiful, baby, you made this for Mama?"

"No, for you, to keep in your police car. See it's Mama, me and Misha."

"I do see, but what's that?" I pointed to what I thought might be an animal, though I couldn't tell you what type.

"That's my hamster. His name is Chewie."

"You don't have a hamster…" my daughter gave me a shit eating grin, oh no Rose did not. "Please tell me you don't have a hamster?"

"Mama said if I got good grades I could have a pet, that's what I wanted."

Just then Rose came downstairs, Misha close on her heels. I looked at her like she was an angel descending from heaven. I could never comprehend how gorgeous my wife was. In just a simple tank top and jeans, she was the most heavenly creature on earth. During my years in the League, I was approached by many different types of women. Some were, I can't lie, quite attractive. Legs that went on for miles and curves in all the right places. None - and I'm not just saying this for her sake, held a candle to my wife. Her hips wider from bearing our children, but her waist still as slim as ever, her breast a size bigger and her whole body was full of muscle. She never stopped training after the Ben fiasco, eight years of weights and fighting have done her body good. She was breathtaking, she always has been.

"Please tell me you didn't get her a pet?"

"She passing all of her studies with A's," Roza grinned.

"Wonderful," I said sarcastically, I didn't hate animals per say, but I sure didn't enjoy having to clean up after one.

I moved forward from the door to give Rose a kiss, then pick up Misha who was clinging to my leg.

"How was your day, buddy?"

He didn't say anything, he just rested his head on my shoulder. I looked at Rose, silently asking what was wrong with him.

"Bad dreams," she mouthed

"Again?" I asked silently, with a raise of my brow.

Misha has been suffering from nightmares, or night terrors, I am not really sure which. He can never tell me what happened during them and most of the time he doesn't remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming or walking through the house. I found him one night in the kitchen pulling all the pans out of the cupboard.

Rose just nodded and we let that go, for now, I would talk to her about it later. I gave Misha a kiss on his head and set him back down. I needed to get out of this uniform, I headed for the bedroom.

Peeling off layer after layer of equipment and clothing, I felt the weight of the day fall away. Not just because of the forty pounds of gear I wore, but in the fact that I made it another day, I was home, safe and sound. The sound of the peeling velcro echoed through the room, I placed my vest over the door, relishing in the feel of the air chilling my sweat-soaked T-shirt. Withdrawing my firearm from the holster at my hip, I locked it away in the safe with my taser and hung my belt and remaining items, handcuffs, extra magazines, and baton, over the door. Combat boots on the floor in the corner and my shirt and pants to the wash basket. I needed to get them to the cleaners soon, I was down to three sets.

"I never thought I would love the sound of velcro," Rose said behind me.

"Me neither, but it is a sweet sound isn't it?"

"That it is," she came to wrap her arms around me from behind.

The loving contact sending sparks through my skin where her hands roamed the front of my chest while placing soft kisses on my back. I moaned and leaned back into her.

"Ready to practice for the next child?" I joked.

"I am always ready for that, but...I have to get dinner ready. Are Mason and Eddie coming over tonight?"

"Mason, yes. Eddie, no, he has some benefit thing for Jill tonight."

"I didn't know she was back in town!"

"Yeah, only for the week though, she goes back to Paris next Monday. I invited them for dinner Saturday night."

"Awesome, I can't wait to see her, it's been so long. Anyways, get in the shower, I'll have dinner ready in a half hour."

"Thank you, Milaya."

I stood under the hot spray of the shower, letting the events of the day wash down the drain. Today was rough, but I didn't like telling Rose about all the things I saw or did during a shift, it would only make her worry more. When I left the league, I spent six months at home doing nothing. I wanted to make up for all the time I lost when I went to New York. After thinking long and hard about what I wanted to do now that I wasn't playing ball anymore, I decided to join the Police force.

Rose and I had several long hard arguments about it, she thought I had a death wish, but really I just wanted to do something meaningful with my life. Mason and Eddie had become Uncles to the kids while I was gone and when I got home they told me all about life as an officer. It was hard but rewarding, that's what I wanted, so I went to the Academy and joined over a year ago. Eddie had been promoted to Sergeant and Mason was now my partner. Our existing friendship made us one hell of a team.

I finished my shower and dressed for dinner, leaving my hair down to dry on its own. Yes, I grew it back out, I missed it. Apparently, Rose did too, she is constantly running her fingers through it now. As I made my way downstairs, I could hear Mason's voice.

"Oh really?" Rose said, seeing me walk into the dining room.

"Really, what?"

"Mason was just telling me about the exciting day you guys had."

The look she gave me sent chills down my back, damn Mason and your fat mouth. I looked to see where the kids where I didn't want them hearing about this. Thankfully, they were occupied with some dog cartoon on the TV.

"Roza, I didn't want you to worry."

"So you thought it was better to keep the fact that you were shot at from me? Don't see how that helps, Comrade," anger evident in her voice, though she kept her tone low.

"It wasn't a big deal, the guy missed by a mile and…. I didn't."

I didn't kill him, but he would be in the hospital for a few days. I was now on administrative leave, pending the IA (Internal Affairs) investigation that comes with Officer Involved Shootings. I knew I would have to tell her in the morning, but I was going to downplay it as much as possible, that isn't going to happen now.

"I don't see how it's not a big deal! You could have been…" she stopped and looked at the kids, she whispered the next part, "killed, how would I explain that to them!"

"I wasn't though, that's the important thing. Like I said, everything is fine, I have to take leave for a few days, we can talk more about this then. I don't want to do this with them in the next room."

"I agree, but this conversation is far from over."

She walked back into the kitchen to finish up dinner, I turned my attention to Mason.

"Really, man?"

"Sorry, I didn't know that you hadn't told her."

"I wasn't going to, I was going to play it off as a minor incident, now I have to tell her everything, thanks to you."

"Sorry. I swear I didn't mean to cause a fight."

I sighed, running a hand through my damp hair, "It will be alright, eventually." I tried to smile and change the subject, "You want a drink?"

The night continued in idle conversation, no one saying much of anything. Misha was still acting funny when it was time for them to go to bed, so I took him to lay down. Normally, I would take care of Sasha and Rose would handle Misha. They were every bit of Mama's Boy and Daddy's Girl, but I hoped he might say something to me about what has him so upset. I know he is only four, but much like his sister, he is very smart. Though, where Sasha was witty and outgoing, he is calm and thoughtful, like me. He was walking at nine months and talking in full sentences just after two years, the kid was brilliant. I worry though, he is never this quiet, closed off, something has him frightened and I want to know what.

I read him one of my favorite children's books, in Russian of course, and tucked him in. Sitting on his bedside, looking at him, I could see he was scared to go to sleep. He had the same deep brown eyes as Roza, that I could read just as easily as I do her. He got my hair and nose, but Rose's lips and cheekbones. He was going to break some hearts one day. Out of nowhere, he whispered something, I couldn't quite hear him though.

"What did you say? Papa couldn't hear you."

"papa umer", he said just a bit louder, my blood ran cold.

"What do you mean? I am right here, bud."

"papa umer v moyey golove."

As I said, my son is brilliant, he was speaking Russian before English, he only ever did it though when he was terrified of something. Most nights during his dreams we could hear him yelling in Russian to the monsters in his head. We never understood exactly what was happening though, he would only speak a few words, when we put them together, it didn't make sense. I killed me to not know how to help him. We saw several doctors and they said they can give him some medication to help him sleep, but that was keeping him trapped in the nightmares. He wasn't able to wake himself, he would scream for hours while Rose and I tried to rock him or wake him up. We did everything we could to keep the dreams away. I checked for monsters every night, we gave him a bear that we recorded me singing to him, I even slept in his bedroom on the floor for months. Nothing worked.

"Papa isn't going anywhere, I am right here and I am not leaving, okay? What did you see?"

I had begun to wonder if Misha was like Babushka, having visions of things that will happen, or rather that could happen. She often talked in riddles or broken sentences when she would see something and try to give us hints as to what it was. Which is exactly what he was doing right now.

"plokhoy paren' strelyayet" his eyes were glazing over, he wasn't focused on anything. It looked as if he was replaying the dream in his mind, seeing it now.

"Misha, Posmotri na menya, syn," his eyes focused back on me now, "YA nikuda ne poydu, tebe ne o chem bespokoit'sya." (Misha, look at me son, I am not going anywhere, you have nothing to worry about.)

"Promise?" switching to English and locking his eyes on me, I returned his gaze.

"Promise, I will always be here. I love you, get some sleep." I kissed his head and checked under his bed for the monsters.

"I love you more, Papa," he said as I walked to the door, I smiled at him. I don't think so kid, it's not possible, I thought to myself.

I peaked in on Sasha as I made my way back downstairs. Rose and I had a routine set up, kids were in bed by eight, leaving us with two hours of free time together. Most of that was spent sitting on the couch reading -we had officially turned into that couple, I loved it though. She would lay her head in my lap with her own book in her hands, while I ran my fingers through her hair reading one of my westerns. It was the peaceful alone time we needed after our long days.

After about twenty minutes of reading, Rose closed her book with a loud snap and sat up. I knew she wouldn't wait until tomorrow to talk about what happened. She gave me her, "I want the truth and the whole truth" look. I sighed and closed my book lightly, setting it on the table, this was going to be a long talk.

Skipping over the menial traffic stops and report calls, to tell her about the shooting.

"Mase and I were called to a Domestic Disturbance, there was no mention of weapons being involved from the dispatcher. They only said that the neighbor could hear a man yelling at his girlfriend and making threats of harming her. When we arrived, the guy ran back in the house, leaving the female outside. Mase was talking to her and I went to the door and called for the guy. I probably shouldn't have gotten so close, but since they didn't say anything about guns, I didn't think he would be coming through the house with one. He shot toward the door- missing me completely- I drew and fired back at him, hitting him in the shoulder. It was quick and no one was killed, no one else was injured."

"Are you going to lose your job?"

"No, it was a clean, justified shoot, but protocol says I have to be on leave for them to do an official investigation. I should be back at work by the end of the week."

"You know you need to be more vigilant, times are getting worse for officers. You have to keep your head straight," her voice gentle, but her eyes screamed anger.

She hated my line of work, honestly, I couldn't blame her, but I felt like I was meant to do this. I have saved lives and lost a few, but every day I make a difference to someone. As long as I make it home each day, it's a win in my book.

"I know, Roza, but everything is okay for now. Let's just be happy that another day has passed and I am still around to annoy you." I joked.

"That's for damn sure, come on, let's go to bed."

"It's only nine?"

"I wasn't planning on sleeping just yet, Comrade," she shook her ass in my face as she stood up.

I was off the couch and picking Roza up in five seconds flat. Spending the next hour reminding her that I am very much alive and well. Afterward, Rose laid her head on my chest like she does every night, while I traced idle patterns on her back. As I laid there, I kept thinking about what Misha had told me. He has never said anything like that before and it terrified me. I know my job is dangerous, I know that a single moment can be the difference between life and death. I am prepared to lay down my life for a stranger, but that doesn't mean I am asking for it to happen. I wanted to serve and protect, then come home to my family. I would have to be more careful, more vigilant because I will be damned if his nightmare comes true.

I will not let him see me die by the hand of a monster.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

* * *

So there we have it, Chapter One! What do you guys think? I know it was a little slow, a lot of minor details and such, but things will pick up soon, like real soon.

I hope everyone enjoyed it. Don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts, I love hearing them. First five reviews will get a sneak peek of the next chapter!


	3. Chapter Two

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot!**_

 _ **Chapter Two**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"Welcome back, Belikov."

"Thanks, Castile, I'm glad it's over."

"IA give you hell?"

"No worse than Rose, but you know how they always try to blame us for it."

"Yeah, tell me about it, I've had to go through a few. So, you and Ashford will be taking a new sector today."

He handed me my beat assignment, "Really?"

"No one knows the area quite like you do," he smirked.

"This is a rookie task, why are we doing it?"

"Chief ordered it, besides, you are Rookie of the Year."

"Yeah, last year, I am through my rookie phase," I huffed as I took my assignment.

Well, I guess I know who's shit list I am on now. I walked to my unit, meeting Mason halfway and headed to Globe Life. During the season, we roster extra patrol units to cover the crowds. I remember when I was playing, there were always units in the locker rooms, stands, inside and outside of the stadium. The volunteers got to be outside, while the on-duty units had to patrol inside the gates. Well if Chief is going to make me walk around inside, I might as well say hello to some old friends.

I pulled up outside the home plate gate, taking a few breaths before getting out of the car. I wasn't afraid of the reaction that would come from the guys, I was afraid of how I would feel being back here. I missed the game, missed my teammates, but I needed the home life.

"You alright, D?"

"Yeah, it's just weird being here and not being on the field."

He nodded and we proceeded into the stadium, showing our badges at the gate and walking straight through. The smell of the grass hit me first, there was nothing quite like it. Then the buttery popcorn and smoke from the grills, all the scents of my previous life wafting around me.

"Come on." I pulled Mason with me, "I want to show you something."

I led him down the long tunnel to the edge of the field, by the dugouts. The thing about a badge, no one said anything to you, even in spots you weren't supposed to be. I stepped into the dugout, seeing several of my former teammates, Beltre catching my eye first.

"Gentleman, I heard you were in possession of some Illegal substances, I am going to need to check all of your equipment," I lowered my voice, hoping they wouldn't place the accent quickly.

Beltre, Andrus, and Odor all looked at me, with my hair grown out and the uniform, I am not surprised they didn't recognize me at first. Beltre was about to say something when none other than Gallo walked up.

"Good to see you, D. How have you been?"

The former three figuring it out, laughed, "You had me there for a minute, I didn't recognize you," Odor said.

"I was hoping for that," I laughed, "I have been well, thanks, how are you guys going?"

Everyone chimed in at the same time, all were well, which I was glad to hear. I introduced Mason to everyone and we chatted for a few minutes before Gallo pulled me to the side.

"How are things going at home?"

"Better now, we fought a lot while I was gone, but we're doing well. I left New York when the contract was up and went home to take care of the kids."

"I forgot she was pregnant when you left, a boy right?"

"Yeah, Michael Joseph, or Misha," I pulled out my phone to show him pictures.

"He has Rose's eyes, kid's gonna be a heartbreaker."

"I know. How are you and your girl doing? Did you marry her yet?"

"No, we separated a few years back, I have been talking to someone new."

"Really," my eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Who?"

If I didn't know him well, I would have missed the sheepish smile to cross his face, the look of anxiety in his eyes. I gave him a sideways glance, who could it be that he is scared to tell me? I continued to wait, keeping his eyes locked with my own.

He drew a deep breath, "Sonja," he whispered.

"As in my _sister_ Sonja?" I didn't mean to sound angry, I really wasn't, I just can't believe I didn't know about it.

"Look, D, It's not.."

I cut him off, "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I am just shocked. How did that happen?"

"When you left," he paused, "Your whole family had a lot of questions. Rose had called and was upset, so I went over to the house to talk to her, help her. Your sisters and Mother were there and we all talked for a while. Sonja and I kept talking after that, we became really good friends. Ashley didn't like it and we fought a lot, but I felt connected to Sonja and didn't want to lose that. So I broke it off with Ashley and stayed friends with Sonja. We just started dating a month or so back."

"Wow," I didn't know what else to say. For years, Joey and my sister have been talking and are now dating, I was none the wiser. At the same time, I was overjoyed. Joey was a good guy and Sonja deserved someone to love her and treat her right, he would.

"I am sorry we never told you. She was scared you would flip out, I was worried you would think I was just playing around. We wanted to be sure before saying anything."

"I get it, I mean, I wish you would have said something sooner, but I am happy for you both."

"Thanks, and I'm glad you and Rose are doing good, I was worried for a while. Sonja said you were fine, but I wanted to know from you."

"Thanks, well I should be going, we have to "patrol" the stands." I laughed.

"Oh yes, the diligent task of keeping drunken folks in line. Have fun," he clapped me on the back and headed out for batting practice.

"Ashford, we have to go. It was great to see you guys, good luck tonight."

"Thanks, D. It's good to see you, too, don't be a stranger alright, you know you're always welcome in the clubhouse," Andrus said.

"Yeah, and tell the wife we said hello," Beltre said.

"I will, thanks. Come on, Mase."

"Dude, that was awesome, I have never met a Major League player before."

I gave him a pointed look, lifting one eyebrow.

"Okay, other than you, but I have known you my whole life so it doesn't count."

"Whatever, come on, this is where all the rowdy people sit."

We walked around the patio, most of the obnoxious people sat in that area. Thankfully, tonight it wasn't that bad, we only had to throw out three people. The game wasn't half bad, they played New York, it was kind of crazy watching the teams I played for go against each other. I wanted so badly to go to the bullpen and tell them all about New York's weaknesses, but I refrained. I felt the pang of longing while watching everyone play. I missed it, really missed it, but I wouldn't go back even if they tripled my salary. The time away from my family, missing out on all of the little moments. I was happy right where I was.

I spent the majority of the night on autopilot, my head was trying to wrap around the fact that my sister and former team mate were together. Like I said, it didn't really bother me, but I hated being the last to find out something. I bet Rose knew, she knows everything Joey does. Would she have kept it from me too?

The game ended around eleven, I finally made it home just after midnight. I knew Rose was probably fast asleep, but I wanted to spend some "loving" time with my wife tonight. Seeing the guys and being back at the stadium really brought back memories. I never regretted my decision to come home after the short time I got to play, but I do miss it. The rush of scoring the winning run, the smell of the grass when it was just cut, or the sound off the bat when you hit a homerun. They were all burned in my memory, constant reminders of what I gave up. Fame and fortune, what a wonderful life it was, but it wasn't my family, it wasn't home.

I walked in the back door, flipping off the kitchen light that Roza always leaves on for me when I work late and made my way upstairs. First things first, I needed a shower. Late March wasn't unbearably hot, but in full uniform surrounded by thousands of other bodies, I was sweating profusely. I peaked in both of the kid's rooms, making sure they were fast asleep, before heading to my own.

Taking off my vest, the loud velcro made Rose stir.

"Comrade?"

"I am home, Roza, just going to shower real quick."

She mumbled something and I continued to strip away the layers. Taking the fastest shower of my life, I toweled quickly and crawled into the bed with Rose. She was laying on her stomach, facing away from me. I placed small chaste kisses along her spine through the sheer lace of her babydoll, hoping to get a rise out of her. When I got to her neck she let out a low moan and moved her head, giving me more access.

"Don't start something you don't plan to finish, Comrade."

"Oh, I fully intend on finishing, Roza, but only after you," I whispered in her ear, nipping on her lobe.

She rolled over, allowing me to look in her eyes, the dim light of the bathroom making them appear as if there was gold hidden in the chocolate orbs.

"Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah, got to see some of the guys, they said hello by the way."

I began to trail kisses down her neck, nipping and running my tongue over each bite.

"That's nice, did they win?"

I mumbled a "no" into her skin, I didn't really want to talk right now.

"That…" I shut her up with a kiss, pulling back after a minute.

"Rose, I do not want to talk right now, I want to enjoy what I am about to do to you."

"Fine," she laughed, I pecked her lips and began my descent down her neck again.

* * *

 _ *****Start M Scene*****_

Finally making it down her neck, I moved onto appreciate her phenomenal breast. They have grown with having two babies, I didn't mind that one bit. Her nipples were already peaked and pushing against the lace, I wasted no time, mouthing both. Of all the parts of her body, other than her seemingly perfect sex, her breast has always been my favorite.

I sat up and pulled her with me, taking the offensive fabric off in one quick pull, and pushed her roughly back onto the bed. I took her left globe in my mouth, massaging the right with my hand, flicking my thumb over her tight peak, earning me soft moans.

We had learned quickly how to keep quiet during our bedroom activities. Sasha thought I was hurting her Mama one night and barged into the room. I never want to experience that again, I also learned to lock the door.

I switched to pay equal attention to the right, moving my hand down her stomach to rest between her thighs on top of the cotton fabric of the boy shorts she wore. Her hips lifted automatically at my touch, I pushed harder into her, both increasing her pleasure of my touch and holding her down.

Her hands were already laced through my hair, pulling gently, but enough to make me moan against her soft flesh. I took my hint and moved further down, running the tip of my tongue down her solid abdomen, to the band on her shorts. Running my nose down her center, I drank in the sweet scent of her arousal. Grabbing ahold of the shorts with my teeth, I pulled them down her legs, tossing them somewhere in the general direction of the door.

Gripping her thighs aggressively, I pushed them open, baring her glorious slit for my appraisal. With the very tip of my tongue, I teased her lips, not dipping inside or making contact with the bud at the top.

" _Dimitri,_ " she barely whispered.

I placed a kiss on the top of her mound and moved my tongue back down, coming back up again, I pushed between her lips, taking a drink of her sweet nectar. I lapped at her lips, teasing her clit every other pass I made, before moving to rest on my knees between her legs. Pushing one finger into her tight core, I slowly begin to work her out. I added another after a few pumps, then a third, taking my other hand, I ran it up and down my fully erect shaft.

"Touch yourself, Roza," my order came out thick, I loved watching her play with herself, the same she liked watching me.

She brought one hand down to stimulate her bundle while the other gripped one of her breasts, running her fingers around her nipple. I thrust my fingers in and out at a steady pace, mimicking each thrust, pumping up and down my cock. I felt her walls get a little tighter, I picked up the pace, wanting to bring her to the brink before driving home to my prize. Her moans started to get louder, I let go of myself and leaned forward, crashing my lips to hers, forcing them open with my tongue. My fingers in her never slowing as she began to quake beneath me, my tongue battling hers as she came undone on my hand. The scream she released vibrated through my body all the way down, making my dick twitch.

I pulled back and rested on my heels, withdrawing my fingers from her and sucking on them, enjoying every taste I could get. She climbed up without being told, I knew she loved this position, the one good thing that came from that damned TV show. She ground her hips against me, rubbing her heated sex over my length, coating it for an easy entrance.

"Mogu ya poyekhat' na vas, kovboy?" (Can I ride you, cowboy?)

"pozhaluysta, kak trudno, kak vy khotite rebenka," (please, as hard as you want baby)

She gripped me tightly in her little hand, running my tip down her slit before pausing at her entrance. She slammed down hard on me, I let out an earthy moan as she pushed her lips to mine.

"Fuck, Roza," I managed to get out as she bounced on my cock like she was riding bareback on a stallion.

This angle allowed me to go completely inside her, from top to bottom I could feel her slick channel wrapped around me. I grabbed the end of her hair, pulling her head back and opening her neck to me, using my other hand to palm her breast. I didn't want to leave marks, knowing someone -her- would have something to say about it tomorrow, but it was hard to hold back when she rode me like this. I bit into her neck, trying to silence the rumble of ecstasy building in my chest. I was getting close, so I needed to get her to cum again before I did. Her breathing was already ragged and only intensified when I brought my hand down to rub her as she stayed steady bouncing up and down.

"Shit...shit.." she was almost there, I brought her head back up, taking possession of her lips one more time.

I picked up my pace on her clit, and thrust against her, driving deeper, I felt her clamp down on me, I let go at the same time, my hotness spurting into hers. I rocked my hips against her, riding out both of our orgasms, kissing her gently now. I laid her back, resting for a moment before pulling out of her comfort.

 _ *****End M Scene*****_

* * *

"Was there a near-death experience that sparked that?" she asked as we caught our breath.

"No, do I have to almost die to want to come home and fuck my wife?"

"No, just wanted to make sure." she laughed.

I rolled out of bed, heading back to the bathroom to rinse off again, Rose joining me.

"So why were you at the game? I thought that was rookie stuff."

"It is, Chief ordered it."

"Ah, so you're being punished."

"Yeah, you can say that. I didn't mind it though, it was nice to be back there, just different."

"I'm sure, how long will it last? Being on the chiefs shit list."

"I don't know, I hope not too long, I was justified in the shooting, but of course it still brings a bad rap to the department."

"Yeah, well keep your head down."

"I know," we were drying off now, I headed to get some clothes when I thought back to Joey and Sonja, "Did you know about Joey and my sister?"

"They finally told you? Damn took them long enough," she laughed.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"It wasn't my place, both of them asked me to let them tell you when they were ready."

I was about to open my mouth to ask another question when I heard Misha scream. I looked at Rose, silently asking if she wanted to handle it, she nodded and threw clothes on to go check on him.

I laid back in bed, waiting for her return, she wasn't alone when she came back.

"He wants to sleep with you," she handed him to me.

I laid him down between Rose and me, singing to him to get him back to sleep. Rose was out before Misha was, I laid there looking at both of them, life is good.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

Dimitri never ceases to amaze me, in and out of the bedroom. After last night, I wound up sleeping in a bit. Since he didn't have to go in until noon, he wakes up with the kids in the morning and lets me sleep. Even though he worked the game last night and was probably more exhausted than I was.

I could smell bacon cooking and my stomach growled in anticipation. I quickly got out of bed to make my way downstairs. Misha was in the living room watching his cartoons and Sasha was sitting at the counter watching her papa cook.

"Good morning, beautiful," Dimitri called out.

"Good morning," I kissed him before turning to Sasha, "How did you sleep, milaya?"

"Okay, I woke up once, Misha was making noise."

I had only heard him the once, when we got out of the shower, there was no way he was making noise and we didn't hear him, no matter how distracted we were. I gave Dimitri a knowing look, he just shrugged his shoulders and laughed. I turned around to go to the living room, sitting down on the floor next to my boy.

"You okay, baby?"

"Yupp, Papa made me blini!" he gave me a huge smile.

"I see that," ruffling his hair, "Come wash up when you're done, okay."

He just nodded and continued to watch his cartoons. I was thankful that he never remembered the dreams that woke him screaming at night. I hated that there was nothing I could do to calm his overactive mind.

"Are you working the game again tonight?" I looked to Dimitri as I made my way to get a coffee.

"Yeah, I have regular patrol till six-thirty, then I will transfer to the game. I should be home around the same time as last night."

"Do you want me to leave you a plate for dinner or do you want to eat there?"

"They give us a free meal, so I will be okay."

I nodded and began to eat my breakfast. Dimitri headed up to get ready for work and I took the kids to start their studies for the day. I was homeschooling both of them for now. We wanted them to have a sturdy base education before going into the public school system. They were both well beyond their years right now and we wanted to keep it that way. Sasha almost seven was reading and writing at a fourth-grade level, Misha, four, was at a second-grade level.

On top of homeschooling, I was still writing music daily. I actually managed to sell a few songs to a label in Dallas, they were recorded by a few different country and pop artist last year. Hearing my songs on a radio did wonders for my self esteem and pride. I was holding on to some for when I got my own recording contract, which may be happening in the near future. I had just taken out my sheet music when Dimitri came down, the scent of his body wash flowing through the air, pine, and sandalwood, I loved that smell.

"Roza, don't forget that hamster cage needs to be cleaned soon, it's starting to stink up there."

"Great," I mumbled.

"You're the one that got it for her." he laughed.

"Remind me never to do that again. Be safe, Comrade, I love you."

"I love you, too. You guys behave for Mama today, got it?"

Both of them said, "Yes sir." and gave him kisses, I walked him out, giving him one last kiss myself, and watched him pull away.

Closing the door, I sent up my silent prayer, please let him be safe and come home. Every day I wished the same thing, I hated his job, the risk involved with it, but I tried my best to be supportive. I know how much it means to him and he loves it, but I hate not knowing if he will come home. Sometimes I wonder how long I can do this for, the constant worrying, the way my heart races every time I hear sirens ring out in the city. How long will it be before I can't handle it anymore?

* * *

 _ **Third Person POV**_

I have been watching them for months, nothing ever changing between them. Every day, she walked him out the door, he left for work and she remained inside the house with her children. Occasionally, she would walk a few doors down to his mother's house, but that was very rare. He would come home from work, and not be seen again until he had to leave the next day.

I watched the brown-haired beauty walk out the front door. He didn't lie, she really was breathtaking, I could see why he loves her. She wore a tank top that barely concealed her plump breast and perky nipples, she wasn't wearing a bra. I shifted in my seat slightly, it has been a long time since I looked at a woman as beautiful as her. The minimal clothes she wore left my imagination running. The shutter on my camera going off at rapid intervals as I focused on her image.

The behemoth of a man walked out behind her, standing at six foot seven, the guy was a giant next to her tiny delicate frame. How did a man like him wind up with a little thing like her? I watched as he bent damn near in half to kiss the beauty goodbye, the man made his way down the stairs to his patrol vehicle.

I have been waiting for something to happen, he had said they fight all the time, but so far nothing. They never seemed to be angry with each other. Maybe he was wrong, maybe she really is happy with him and their life. Still, I could see the appeal of her, her body was enough to make me need to loosen my jeans, I wondered how far her personality would make me go.

I sat in my rental vehicle for hours, continuing to watch the house, my legs becoming stiff in the tight confines of the driver seat. I wanted to get out and stretch, but I needed to stay hidden until he called. It was another few hours before my phone rang.

"Did you get them?"

"Yes, when do you want me to take it to her?"

"Now should be fine, she should be getting ready for dinner soon."

"How do you know?"

"I tapped the house, their security system is old and easy to hack, I've got eyes all over."

It scared me with how far he was taking this, but he was all I had left, I would do anything for him.

"Alright."

I moved down the street, coming to stop in front of the house. Picking up the vase of flowers, I headed to the door and waited. The door opened, my breath hitched in my throat, she looked even better up close, but now all she had was a robe on. She turned her nose up at the sight of the roses in my hand but smiled nonetheless. I tried to speak, but I couldn't form the words. She mumbled a thank you, and signing my fake paperwork and turned back inside. I drove around the block and parked on the next street. Through the alley between the houses I had a clear view of her driveway and kitchen window, I took out my binoculars and waited some more.

It wasn't long before she walked out and threw the flowers in the trash, slamming it shut. My phone rang almost instantly in time with the sound of the trashcan closing.

"Did she really just throw them away?"

"It appears so," I said sarcastically. If you're watching her, why are you calling to ask me?

"That little bitch, those were not easy to find dammit!" he huffed out, pausing for a moment, "Okay, here is what I need you to do…"

I listened to his jumbled rambling, the plans running from his mind straight out his mouth before processing what he is fully thinking. He couldn't be serious, right? He didn't really want me to do this, did he?

"Look, bro, I don't..," he cut me off.

"You can not back out now! You promised you would help with this! I have been hiding for years, don't be a pussy, get your shit together man."

I knew he was right, I chose to help him, but I thought it was just to get him somewhere safe. Make it so he didn't have to hide anymore, not this. I could go behind his back, warn her, but if he found out, I was as good as dead. I didn't want to do it though, she didn't deserve this. He was delusional, he has always been a few cards short of a full lottery, but I never expected something like this.

I must have been silent for too long, he hung up the phone, leaving me alone in my thoughts. I looked toward the old oak door of her home, mulling over what he wants me to do. He didn't want to just scare her, or simply take her from her comforting life, he wanted to play. Why? What enjoyment does this bring him, stringing her along, making her live in fear? I would rather someone just kill me than the torture my mind and body. I knew, though, if I didn't do as he asked, I would surely be next on his list.

I straightened up in my seat, turning over the engine of my pathetic rental vehicle and headed to the nearest store to develop my photos.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

* * *

Thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows already on this story. I plan to update on Monday's and Wednesday's. If you're not following me on facebook already, check it out, snips of upcoming chapters and photos are posted there. URL in my Bio!

As always, leave your thoughts! Much love everyone.


	4. Chapter Three

_**Thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot.**_

 _ **Chapter Three**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"2231 show me in service, primary with 2241." I checked into the dispatch center.

"2231 received, 1200 hours."

"So, what are going to get into today, partner?"

"I don't know, Mase, but I have the game again tonight, so let's not look for anything crazy."

"You're no fun." he huffed.

I laughed, some days I didn't know how he was a cop, he had the mindset of a child half the time. He always wanted to play with the shiny toys or dive head first into crazy calls, I, however, didn't. Now don't get me wrong, the rush you feel running into an almost impossible situation, well the high is pretty awesome. We run in when others are running away, but that's what made each day bearable. Making a difference in someone's life, it may be saving it or simply consoling a hurt soul. Either way, I loved what I did, but my ultimate goal was to go home at the end of the day.

We made a few traffic stops, nothing exciting and the calls were coming in slowly. A few reports and one disturbance at the Walmart, it was a quiet day. I was dreading having to work the game tonight after the day had drug on, I could only imagine the night would go much the same. Time didn't pass the same when I wasn't playing.

"2231 copy a traffic accident."

I shouldn't have thought the word quiet, it always brings chaos. Oh well, there was only two hours left for my regular patrol, this would eat up most of it.

"2231 Go ahead."

I listened to the details, grasping my bearings on where I was in relation to the accident and turning around to head towards it. Dispatch advised it was a single vehicle that had rolled off an overpass. So it was a high priority, we were running with the lights and sirens on, watching the fire truck try to catch up in the rearview.

Arriving on the scene we found one person had been thrown from the vehicle, I immediately went to him, while Mase checked the car for any other occupants. The male outside was not breathing when I got to him, I rolled him over to attempt CPR. I could see glass and other material stuck in his face and arms. I assumed passenger, not wearing a seatbelt. His legs were definitely broken, the bone sticking straight out of his white skin, and his neck looked a little off too. I began chest compressions on his lifeless body, I would at least attempt it until the paramedics arrived, though I didn't believe it would do any good. I heard Mason key the radio to advise of the other occupants in the vehicle. A male driver and two small children in the back seat, one was unconscious, the other not breathing. My heart crumbled inside my chest. I hated calls with kids, being a father makes you take on a new look at things. Every child I couldn't save, I saw my own in their faces.

One of the paramedics came over to me, taking in the looks of the male patient I was working on. He shook his head and patted my shoulder, letting me know I could stop, he was already long gone. I sat back on my heels, looking over to the other responders taking the children out of the back seat. The driver was pinned and would need to be cut out.

I stood on shaking legs and made my way to the ambulance, grabbing some towels to clean my bloody hands, I watched as they loaded the babies into the box.

"They weren't in car seats?" I asked Mason.

'No, and they are way too little to not have them."

"How's the driver look?"

"He's breathing, but trapped pretty good, I don't know how that will end."

I nodded my head. I couldn't stop thinking, how can anyone put their child in a car without the proper seats? I wouldn't let Rose get forward facing car seats until they were three or a certain weight, I was not taking a risk with their lives.

We called for the tow truck and waited for them to come and clear the scene up. Then it was off to the hospital to get status on all the occupants involved. At the end of it all, the driver was the only one who was still breathing, both children had internal injuries, and the male that was thrown had died on impact. Collecting all information and evidence, Mase and I headed back out to the streets.

"I'll write up the report for you tonight, you should probably run home and change before the game."

I looked down, I could still see, the now brown, color under my nails, the rusty smell of dried blood on my clothes.

"Yeah, might be a good idea, thanks for taking the paperwork."

"No problem."

I dropped Mason off and headed back to the house. Rose should be out with her Dad, she texted me a few hours ago saying they were going out for dinner. I didn't want to have to explain the blood, so I was glad to find she was already out when I got home. I tossed my uniform in the dry cleaner basket and jumped in the shower.

I watched the blood wash down the drain, the male I worked on was young, maybe late teens to early twenties. His life cut short because he didn't wear the damn seat belt. The two babies in the back, who had no say in what happened in the car, gone. I would make sure to kiss my children when I came home tonight. After calls like those, I tend to sit in their rooms for an hour or so each, just watching them sleep. It helps me separate them from the victims I deal with, knowing that they are here and safe with me.

I scrubbed until the water ran clear, getting out I pulled another uniform and redressed. Piece by piece I put my armor back on, feeling my shield slip into place and headed back out to work.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

With Dimitri working the game again tonight, I decided to call up the Old Man and invite him out to dinner. It's been a while since he last saw the kids, business has been kicking him lately. I still didn't fully understand what he did, even though I was slated to take it over in a few years. I knew not all of his dealings were perfectly "legal", but the portion I had agreed to run was supposed to be. Then again, this is Baba we're talking about, nothing is as it seems with him.

I had both of my children dressed and ready to go, but I was still in need of a shower and change. I set a movie up for them in Sasha's room, I didn't like them downstairs when I was in the shower. Just as I was about to climb into the steaming sauna, the front door rang. I cursed under my breath, wrapping myself up and headed down to see who it was.

A young man stood with a vase of roses, all different colors, and sizes. I had no idea who they could be from, anyone that knows me knows that I loathe anything rose related. I signed for them, barely saying thank you, and brought them to the kitchen, gagging at the pungent smell. Don't get me wrong, they were pretty, not the typical pureblood red or cream white, but blended colors. Purple and white, red and black, yellow and orange, they were beautiful, but I still hate them. I took out the little card, there was no business name on the front like normal, so I had no idea where they came from, hopefully inside will at least tell me who sent them.

My breath caught in my throat as I read the black script that flowed across the cardstock.

" _These are very rare, and beautiful, much like you, Rose. I have missed you, I can't wait until we meet again."_

I read it, again and again, trying to figure out who could have sent this? The only person coming to mind was Jesse, but he is supposed to be in jail for another ten years.

I tucked the note into my pocket and took the roses out to the trash. I didn't want Dimitri to see them, besides the smell was already getting to me. As I walked around the side of the house, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention, a chilling feeling running through my bones. Was he watching me? I threw the vase roughly into the trashcan, making a big show of closing the lid. If he is watching, whoever he is, I will not show fear. I locked the door after returning to the house, going back to getting ready for dinner.

Walking into the restaurant, Misha and Sasha ran ahead of me, unable to wait any longer for their Dede hugs. I thought he had gone soft before after spending so much time bonding with Dimitri, he was jello now, melting into the hands of his grandchildren.

"Lexi, you have grown a foot since I last saw you," he bellowed. "Mikey, too, what am I going to do with you guys?"

Dad always called them by their American nicknames, don't ask me why, but he preferred it that way.

"You could spend more time with them, maybe it wouldn't be so bad," I suggested.

He turned to give me his, what I call, "mob boss"stare, the one that makes Dimitri step back. I, however, stand my ground, I grew up with that look, it no longer phases me.

"I'm just sayin'."

"Well if someone would start working for me, I would have the extra time to take off."

"Deal, let's trade places, you teach the kids their studies, I'll handle business. Sound good?"

"Well, that wasn't really what I had in mind."

"That's what I thought. I told you when they go to St. Vlad's, I will come and work for you. I just want them steady before I throw them to the wolves."

"Fair enough," he consented.

We took our seats and enjoyed light conversation throughout the meal. I wanted to talk to Dad about my suspicions of Jesse being behind the threat. I needed to know if there was a chance he actually would try and come back to "finish" what he started. After Ben though, Jesse will have his work cut out for him if he comes at me again.

"Pavel, would you be willing to take them across the street for ice cream? I need to talk to Baba," I whispered.

"Sure thing, come on rugrats," Pavel said as he rose from his chair.

Sasha and Misha were more than happy to go with him, giving me some alone time with Dad. I didn't know exactly how to ask him about Jesse or tell him what was sent to the house today. So I figured blunt and honest was the best way to go. As soon as the kids were out of earshot, I turned to my father.

"Is Jesse out of jail?"

His eyes went a little wide, but he didn't falter in his answer, "Yes, he was released two weeks ago, how did you know?"

"He sent me flowers, well I think it was him. I thought he was supposed to have twenty years, it's been half that."

"Good behavior," he said rolling his eyes. I felt the same way, good behavior my ass.

"So what does this mean?"

"He is still on parole, so if he does anything to violate that, he will go back. Did he say or do anything to you?"

I told him about the roses and note, I could see the anger building in his features as recited the words to him. I knew it would anger him, it would infuriate Dimitri, but I had to talk to one or the other, Baba was the safer bet.

"He wasn't anywhere around though, right? Just the person delivering them?"

"Not that I saw, but I wasn't looking either. Whoever it is, knows I am still living in our house though, I don't like that."

"Come move in with me, we have plenty of room."

"No offense Baba, but I really don't want to move back in with my father."

"I get it, but you have to think of your safety, and theirs."

"I have a cop for a husband, with that comes a lot of cop friends, I will be fine."

"So you're going to tell him?"

"I don't really want to, he has enough going on right now. The Chief is punishing him for his shooting last week, he doesn't need to worry about anything else. I was going to talk to Mase and Eddie, see if they can try to keep tabs on Jesse."

"He will be livid when he finds out, and he will find out, you know."

"I'll deal with that later, he can't stay mad at me for more than ten minutes," I laughed.

"He has never been able too, you have had him whipped since you were six."

"What can I say, I am just too amazing," I flashed my man-eater smile, makes them all cave.

"That you are, Kiz," he laughed with me, "Pavel and I will keep our own lookout. He may not be a problem at all if we can get our hands on him."

"Just don't get caught, the last thing I need is my father and uncle in jail for murder."

"I haven't been caught yet," he grinned.

"Keep it that way," I knew he was joking, but I was serious, I didn't need him to get in trouble over an idiotic psychopath.

"You will let me know if you get anything else, got it?"

"Yes, Baba," I said rolling my eyes.

I knew he only wanted to protect me, but I can protect myself. I didn't spend the last eight years training for nothing. Pavel and the kids returned just then, ending the conversation for now.

"Mama, Uncle Pavel let me get cookies in my ice cream," Misha exclaimed.

"He did, did he?" I gave Pavel a disapproving look, it was bad enough I let them have ice cream, normally we never did deserts, I didn't like them having too much sugar and sweets.

"Yep, he said we could have whatever we wanted because we were going home with you and not him and Dede."

"Really? How about you guys stay the night with them, then? Since Dede doesn't get to see you all the time."

Both Sasha and Misha started jumping up and down, tugging at Baba's sleeves, begging to go to his house. I gave Pavel a smug smile, Baba wouldn't be able to say no to them. He caved, just like I knew he would and we made our way out of the restaurant.

"Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" I whispered to Pavel.

"Eh, he will have to deal with most of it anyways, I still win," he laughed.

"You both better behave for Dede and Nine, okay?", I said kneeling down to their level, "I love you, have fun." I kissed them both and help get them into Dad's SUV.

I texted Dimitri to let him know we would have the house to ourselves tonight, hoping for some private time with my husband, but when I arrived home, my mood quickly plummeted. Taped to the back door was a piece of paper with my name on it. What the fuck? I snatched the paper down and walked into the house, not bothering to open it yet. If the person was outside watching, I didn't want to stand there longer than I needed. I locked the door back and walked up to my room, taking a seat at the desk I opened the letter.

 _That wasn't very nice Rose, those flowers were hard to find. I wish you would appreciate the things I do for you. By the way, you looked amazing in that red top, I guess having children wasn't so bad, it has done wonderful things to your body. I can't wait to show you how much I love your new and improved assets._

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

I made my rounds through the ballpark, tunnels and locker rooms. Everything was in perfect order, I shouldn't expect any less from these guys. I caught up with Gallo and Odor before the game, reminiscing about the old days. Coach Banister even lets me out to the field during batting practice, I belted out a home run or two, it was fun.

"You want to come back yet? We could use that power right about now," Banister jokes.

"Hey now, you still have me, I hit 50 last year, you can't say we don't have any!" Joey defended himself, we all laughed.

"No, I am enjoying my life right now, I wouldn't come back for anything."

"Are you sure, I think I can work a pretty high deal for you."

"As tempting as it is, no, Rose and the kids need me home."

"I understand, just know we do miss you out there," he patted my back and headed for the dugout.

"Me too," I mumbled.

The night pressed on, I checked out all the suites, decks and patio areas. Nothing was going on, no fights, no drunks, nothing. I was completely bored out of my mind. Rose texted about an hour ago, we had the house to ourselves tonight. I was beyond eager to get home now, it was a rare chance that we could be truly alone, I wanted to take full advantage of it. They say getting married kills your sex life since Rose and I didn't have one when we got married, it wasn't a huge change for us, having the kids, however, did. When I came back from my time in the Majors, we made love regularly, regardless of if anyone else was in the house. Now that the kids have gotten older, I work long days and she is exhausted most of the time dealing with homeschooling and her writing, we don't get much intimate time together, two nights in a row would be a godsend.

The game finally came to an end, Joey catching me as he headed back to the tunnel.

"Hey, are you off when you leave here?"

"Yup, I have a date with my wife when I get home," I wiggled my eyebrows.

"Nevermind then," he laughed, "We were going out for drinks and I wanted you to go."

"Maybe next time, I have a feeling I will be working quite a few games this season."

"Alright, D, Have a good night," he gave me a wink and walked toward the locker room.

One last check around the park and I was headed home. The things I wanted to do to Rose were already running through my mind in vivid pictures. We wouldn't have to keep our voices down or hold back on anything we wanted, I wanted to do it all, everywhere. I pulled in front of the house, taking a quick look around the street as I did every night. Nothing seemed out of place or unusual in the area.

"Roza!" I called out from the back door.

"In here," her voice drifted from the living room.

"How was your night?"

"Good, it was nice to have dinner with Dad and Pavel. Yours?"

"Great, Coach B let me hit a few during batting today, he practically begged me to come back."

Okay, so he didn't beg, but it was close. I looked at her for another minute, finally taking in her appearance. She was wearing one of my old Rangers shirts and sweatpants. Granted, she was beautiful in anything she wore, but the text she sent me earlier had me hoping she was in the mood when I got home. Now she looked like she was closing herself from me. Why?

"What's wrong?" I lifted my brow.

"Nothing," she shot out, yeah, so not believing that.

"Really?" I rose my brow, letting her know I wasn't buying it.

I tried to get a read on her, but she has gotten really good at blocking me. She always told me I had one of the best poker faces, I could hide every thought and feeling from my face, but she rivaled mine now.

"I promise, ready for bed?" she stood and made her way upstairs.

I followed behind her, turning off the lights and my desire for her and headed to the room. She was hiding something from me, I couldn't tell exactly what, but I knew she wasn't telling the truth either. I debated within myself to ask her again, make her talk to me about whatever is bothering her. Knowing it could go one of two ways, she will open up or I will be sleeping on the couch, would it be worth it though?

"Rose, please tell me what's bothering you," I pleaded, she usually melted when I used the pity voice.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," she wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I know it's more than that, you won't look at me, your hiding something, what is it?"

She shifted on the bed, lines forming on her forehead as she thought about what to say. Fidgeting with the end of the old T-Shirt, she looked up to me, I could see fear and anxiety rolling over her face.

"Jesse is out of jail," she whispered.

"What? How?"

"Good behavior according to Dad."

"How did you find out? Did he do something," my inner monster started clawing, ready to come out at any moment, I hated him almost as much as I hated Ben.

"No, he just wanted me to know, just in case..," she was on the verge of tears, I was sure the memories that haunted her were coming back.

She never recalled much of the actual attack he attempted on her, but the imagination can do horrid things to your psychosis. We never talked about it anymore, hell we stopped talking about it almost immediately after it happened. I wanted her to move on, to continue to live her life and not hold onto the past.

"I will not let him hurt you, okay, I will never let anyone hurt you again," I cupped her face between my hands, staring deep into her soul as I spoke those words to her. "If you see him or anything happens, you tell me, okay?"

She nodded softly, I kissed her forehead and pulled her up and into my body, rubbing soft circles on her back. She chuckled softly against my chest, pulling back I rose an eyebrow at her.

"Is that your taser, or are you just happy to see me," she joked.

"Both," I laughed. She went to grab my belt, but I still had everything on it, I needed to disarm before taking it off.

"Let me change and shower real quick, I'll be in bed shortly," I kissed her lips quickly and shredded my armor for the second time today.

By the time I got out of the shower, mind you, it took less half an hour to take everything off and wash up, Rose was passed out. I looked down at my erect member and willed it to go away. I gave up on the possibility of making sweet love to her and laid myself down. Tomorrow I would look into Jesse and see where he was now, and exactly why he was released early. I needed sleep, but it seemed that I was not going to get much of it. My mind played through a million different scenarios that could happen, should he come back and attempt to harm her. After Ben, I swore I would never let anyone hurt her again, granted I said the same thing after Jesse, and you know how that turned out. I would not let that happen again, I would do whatever I had to, to protect her.

Even if it went against everything I have come to know and respect.

* * *

Authors Note:

* * *

Thank you again for the reviews/favs/follows. You guys don't understand how happy it makes me, especially after days like today. As always, leave your thoughts and I hope everyone has a great rest of their week!


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

 **DPOV**

Sleep evaded me. I had tossed and turned every way I could, I couldn't get comfortable, I rolled over again, trying one last time to get my body to shut off for a little while. The bomb Rose dropped tonight didn't help. Today had been long and rough, and not in a good way. I was excited to come home to Rose, thinking she would distract me from the events that unfolded, but that didn't go as planned. As I lay here, I think about the accident again, the two boys, five and three years old, gone. Their tiny bodies not standing a chance against the impact the vehicle took as it rolled down the hill. The older of the two, I was sure felt it, even if it didn't last long, it must have been the most painful moments of his short life. The three-year-old died on impact, for that I was grateful, he didn't feel anything.

Finally, darkness surrounded me, however, it quickly morphed into a sunny day, rays glistening against the dew-soaked green grass of a park. Large Oak trees stood tall, bare of leaves and life, casting frightening shadows on the land below. There was an intoxicating smell wafting through the frigid air, but it didn't belong here, it was very out of place, gasoline- I realized. I searched the area trying to locate the source.

I walked toward an old deserted building, the windows were broken and wood covered the doors. I have never seen this place before, I had no idea where I was or where I was going, but I needed to find out. Coming around the corner, there was a candy apple red charger laying on its roof, the same car Rose drives. My heart thudded widely in my chest, this is a dream, I chanted in my head, it's not real. Slowly approaching the car, I found no one inside. I released the breath I was holding.

"PAPA!", _Misha?_ , "Papa, help me!"

"Misha, where are you?", I screamed for him, he didn't answer. I ran in the general direction I heard his voice, but I couldn't see him. I called out again, still no answer.

Making a full lap around the block, I was back by the car, Misha, now standing next to it. Blood poured from his head, running down his little body.

"Why didn't you save me, Papa?", his tiny voice full of anguish.

"I...I….," I didn't know what to say.

"How could you let me die?" I still couldn't speak, "You failed, Papa." He turned away, within seconds he vanished from my sight.

"MISHA!", I screamed for him again, but this time it was out loud, in the real world.

"Dimitri, Wake Up!", a faint voice called out. My body was shaking, my fist clenched in the sheets, a cold sweat covered my skin in a thin layer.

"Comrade, come on, wake up!"

I bolted straight up, my breathing heavy and labored. I could feel my chest constricting, getting tighter and tighter with each breath. I tried to slow it down, but I couldn't.

"Look at me, Dimitri," my angel called out.

I couldn't open my eyes, I was straining to get my heart to slow, my breathing under control. The image of my son, covered in blood, crying for me, continued to flash in my mind.

"Comrade, open your eyes baby."

Slowly I managed to open them and look at Rose, her eyes bore back to mine, fear smothering the deep brown depths.

"There you are, now I need you to keep looking at me and breathe slower," she said softly, running her fingers through my damp hair.

I stared at her, desperately trying to slow my ragged breaths. She kept encouraging me, telling me how much she loves me, how everything will be okay, but it wouldn't. It would never be okay, those kids will never grow up to be something, they will never get another chance at life. Pushing away from Rose, I ran to Misha's room. I opened the door quickly, a panic began in my chest, he wasn't there. It took me a minute to remember that he was at Abe's. Calming my frightened heart and mind, I took a seat in the rocking chair by his bed, staring at the Batman sheets that laid perfectly made.

The sun began to show through the single window of the room, I have been sitting here for hours. Getting up, I went back to my room to put on some running clothes. I needed to get out and breathe the fresh air. Rose was fast asleep as I walked in, she didn't move once as I opened the drawers to get my joggers out. I gave her a kiss before heading out into the brisk autumn morning.

Making my way around the five-mile circuit I have run since I was a teen, I let the thoughts disappear as my feet pounded the earth. I have dreamt of my children's death before, but never like that. Neither of them has ever yelled at me, or spoken at all really. Incidents involving children are the hardest calls to deal with. As I have said before, every child I watch die, I see Sasha and Misha's faces in them. What if one time it was them? What if something happened and I couldn't save them? What would happen to them if I don't make it home one day, would they be okay? A father can never stop worrying about their children, no matter how old or independent they are, they will always be babies to me. Will I fail at keeping them safe from the harsh world that awaits them?

I lapped the circuit again, the steady beat in my chest and sound of my steps desperately attempting to calm my mind. I focused on the sound of the birds chirping around me, the wind rustling the fallen leaves. I needed to remember that I can't save everyone, even though I may try, it's impossible. I need to focus on the lives I save, not the ones I can't.

Remembering back to my first month as a rookie, I took a drowning call of a three-year-old girl. I was lucky to be less than a minute from the residence when the call dropped. I performed CPR on her and was able to get her breathing again. She was with a babysitter who was more interested in the phone call to her boyfriend than watching the child playing outside, her parents were furious. I didn't blame them one bit. The girl survived and is doing just fine, I still check in on them from time to time.

A few months back, around May, Mason and I dealt with a female who was being abused daily by her husband. She was too scared to leave or report him, even if the bruises on her face told the whole story without her speaking a word. Thankfully, the neighbor spoke up for her, notifying us of the abuse that was going on behind the doors of the old house. We were able to find an outstanding warrant on him from another state. They took him away and she went back home to her family. She calls the station once a month to let us know how she is doing.

Even crazy Rhonda, she was an elderly woman who believed there were aliens walking around on her roof at night. She would call all the time wanting someone to come check her house. Really, she was just lonely and wanted to talk to anyone who would give her five minutes of their time. I tend to go over there a lot. We would sit on her porch and drink sweet tea while she tells me her _"When I was young"_ stories.

Those are the things I need to focus on, I have helped a lot of people, in many different ways. That is what matters most.

I finished up my run in record time, when I got back, Rose was awake and making breakfast. It was only seven, so I was surprised, normally she slept in till nine or so. I usually woke up early and made breakfast for the family, letting her get the extra rest. I have always been an early riser though, so it never bothered me.

"Morning, Milaya.", giving her a quick kiss before grabbing a bottle of water.

"Morning. You feeling better?"

"Yes, I just had a rough day yesterday."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out. Are you going to tell me about it?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, it's best to just move on."

"Fine." she snapped, slamming the pan down.

"What is wrong with you?" I barked back.

"You wake up in the middle of the night, screaming for our son and you won't even tell me why!"

"Because I don't want to talk about it, it's over now, let's move on," I took another long drink of my water, trying to roll over it like it was nothing, she didn't need to know and the situation was quickly getting out of hand. I had finally calmed my mind, I didn't want to bring it back up.

"Well, I can't! I want to know what the hell happened and what it has to do with him!"

"It has nothing to do with him, he is fine! I had a bad day is all," my fuse was getting desperately low.

"You said that, but if it was nothing, why were you screaming for him?!", she yelled. I couldn't hold back, the fuse was done, the dynamite exploding through my body and out my mouth.

"Because I couldn't save him!", I screamed, pausing to look at her, "Are you happy now?"

I watched the color drain from her face, she didn't say anything, what could she? Rose was fully aware of the nightmares that plagued my mind because of my work, but she never knew what happened during them. I never wanted her to know about the things that I see when my mind was unguarded at night. While she dreamed of beaches and margaritas, I dreamed about death. Not really the best breakfast conversation if you ask me.

I turned away and headed upstairs to get ready for work. I didn't have to go in for another four hours, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to take to the streets early. I didn't want to be home right now. I was feeling better after my run, letting the stress melt away with every step I took, now I was aggravated.

Why did she have to push me? Why couldn't she just let it go?

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

I couldn't move.

I stood shell-shocked in the kitchen watching him walk away, breakfast long forgotten. When he left the room last night, I knew he had another nightmare, I just wouldn't think he would dream that. I waited for him to come back to bed, I sat there, knees pulled to my chest, waiting. When he didn't return, I contemplated getting up and going to him, but something told me not to.

This isn't the first time he has had dreams about horrific things, it is, however, the first that he has woken to scream from. I was broken for him, my heart hurt that he had to deal with such awful memories. I wanted to comfort him, be there for him, but I was terrified to. I doubted he would open up about it, to begin with, if he did, would I be able to handle the truth?

I shouldn't have pushed him to tell me, but I couldn't help the Mama Bear side that wanted to protect my child. Even if it was only a dream, something happened to Misha and it worried me. I wanted to know what it was that had Dimitri panicking in the night, what could have made him hyperventilate that way. I was not prepared for the answer. I should have let it go.

I was still frozen in the same spot when I heard our bedroom door open and close. Dimitri bounded down the stairs, fully dressed for work. I opened my mouth to ask him why he was leaving so soon, but he was out the front door before I could utter a syllable, the door slamming behind him. Looking out the window, I watched him climb into his cruiser and peel away from the house.

A multitude of emotions was crashing through me like a tidal wave. Anger for him leaving without a word, never, I mean _never_ has he left for work without saying "I love you" and kissing me, we always kissed goodbye. When I didn't know if it would be the last time I would see him, last time to hear his voice or feel his warmth wrapped around me, I needed that goodbye kiss. Fear and worry, he shouldn't be working if he didn't have a clear head, that would only make him vulnerable. Sadness, the memories that plagued him were awful, though I didn't know exactly what they were, I could see the toll they took. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how.

I tried to call him, the line ringing to voicemail. I threw my phone across the room and let out a frustrated scream. Anger was now becoming prominent. I get that he had a bad day yesterday, yes I didn't help this morning, but don't ignore me. I wanted to apologize for pushing him and make sure he knows I love him. I mean, he knows, but I need to tell him anyways. Dad always tells us to make sure we never walk away angry with each other, the last time we did, I wound up in Kentucky with a psychopath.

Taking several deep breaths, I tried to rein in the red-eyed monster. I have noticed that it was getting harder every day, both of us hiding and pretending that everything was fine. It wasn't. I hated his job, I hated being alone at night while he was out working, I hated never knowing if he was coming home. I hated this life. I wanted out. How could I though? How could I turn my back on him? He has always been there for me, supported me in everything I did. I need to do the same for him, I knew and understood that, but it's hard.

Coming back to myself, I went to get my phone that was now in the hall near the study. I'll send him a text, at least that way he can respond when he is ready. In the meantime, I needed to talk to someone and figure out how to deal with this life. How to help him cope and understand what he is going through. I needed expert advice, someone who is dealing with what he is, and there was only one person I could think to give it.

I dialed the number to my longtime best friend, the only person who will not sugar coat anything.

"Mase, I need help."

* * *

I pulled out a chair in the corner of the bistro and waited on Mason. When I told him that Dimitri and I had fought this morning he immediately offered to meet and talk. Mason has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I have known him longer than I have known Dimitri. We first met in Pre-Kindergarten, I liked him because he had red hair like my mom. I always wanted to have red hair, I thought it would look amazing on me. He had a crush on me when we were around ten, but I was already fixated on Dimitri by then. We stayed close though, his feelings for me never getting in the way of our friendship.

Growing up, we confided in each other for everything. I told him more than I told Lissa or Viktoria. Something about having a male friend, someone who wasn't so into gossip but would shoot you straight, was the greatest gift in the world. Any problem I had, be it with Dimitri, home or school, Mase always gave it to me straight. No sugar coated bullshit with him.

I heard the door chime and watched Mase's eyes scan the shop. Lifting my hand I waved to him, his eyes still scanning the area as he walked to the table. I had my back to the corner, leaving the seat across from me open for him, but he sat next to me. I gave him a questioning look, we would have more room if he sat on the other side.

"I don't sit with my back to a door, ever," his tone serious as his eyes still scanned the room.

"Why?"

"The only point of entry is that door. If someone comes in and starts shooting or something like that, I wouldn't be able to react fast enough. If I can see them coming, I can protect others and myself better."

"Do you really have to worry about someone coming into a coffee shop and shooting up the place though?" I replied sarcastically.

"I worry about it everywhere," his stated plainly.

First note to self, sit with my back to the door. Dimitri would be more comfortable in public if he can see the point of entry, got it.

"So what happened?"

I launched into the story, by the time I finished, Mason had a look of understanding and sorrow covering his features. I took a good look in his eyes, the soft blue eyes that I have always confided in looked dull. They didn't shine the way they used to when we were younger.

"How can I get him to open up to me?"

"You may not be able to, it's not easy," he mumbled, "Let him talk about it when he is ready to. Let him know you are there for him and will listen, but don't push him to talk about it."

"He won't though, I know him, he doesn't want me to know the things he sees."

"He will. Sooner or later, it will get to be too much for him. Even the strongest of us fall and need help. We have all been where he is, it took me years to open up and talk to someone. Give him time, Rosie."

"How do you deal with it?"

"I volunteer at the Second Chance House. It's a place for addicts and those who just simply struggle to get by. I like to spend time with them, helping them get back on their feet. When you deal with the type of people we encounter every day, it's nice to break away from that and lend a hand to someone who needs it."

"That sounds awesome."

"It is, plus, they don't look at me as a cop, they see a friend," he smiled.

"You are an amazing friend," I bumped his shoulder, "So I just need to reassure him that I am there when he is ready?" Second note to self, check.

"Jill wrote notes for Eddie, little "open when" letters. You should ask her about them, I'm sure that would help Dimitri, it has done wonders for Eddie."

I nodded, that sounded like a good idea. I could put pictures and funny stuff in there to help him when he is feeling down.

"Any ideas on how to help me deal with this life?"

"Talk with some of the other wives, they will be able to help you. I can give you advice on how to help him, but it's another world what you're going through."

I nodded, that it was.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

I pulled into the department parking lot, remaining in my vehicle for several minutes before making any move to get out. The argument with Rose repeating in my mind over and over. I shouldn't have left without saying anything to her, but I just couldn't bring myself to be calm enough to talk to her. This job was breaking me, but at the same time, building me up. I just needed to figure out how to balance the two. The daily struggles were weighing me down, body and soul. It was getting harder and harder to wake up and want to keep going, but I had too. So many people depended on me, my wife, children, strangers, so many.

I have never been the type of person to confide in others about problems I deal with. I like to handle everything on my own, I don't like to bring others down with me. That's the one thing Rose hates about me, though she will never say it, I won't open up emotionally. When it comes to her, I am putty at her feet, when it's my own turmoil, I am silent. I can confess everything to her, when it has to do with something she is going through or were doing together. If I am dealing with something, I deal with it alone. I always have.

They say every year you are a police officer, you take five off your life. Be it dying young from the job or mentally aging far beyond your years, it takes time away from you. I joined the force a little over a year and a half ago, I feel like it has been ten times that. In my rookie year, I talked people out of suicide, delivered four babies and saved many of lives, losing a few along the way. I have shed tears for people I didn't know and laughed through some crazy situations. How much longer can I do this? The first five years are the hardest according to everyone here, can I make it five years? Rather can I make it with my family still intact? If things were already starting to become strained, how will we survive another three plus?

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the window. I rolled it down, Eddie leaning down to look at me.

"What are you doing here already?"

"I needed out of the house," I mumbled.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, how has the day been?" I asked, moving the subject away from my early arrival.

"Busy, you can take to the road if you want. There is a day game today, which.."

I cut him off, "I will be working. I know."

He nodded and headed inside, while I checked into service and started taking calls.

"2231, I am in service, send me where I am needed."

"2231 received, be en route…"

And so the day begins.

* * *

 **Authors Note** :

* * *

I **know this one was a little slow, full of little details. I hope you guys enjoyed getting a look into some of the things he has dealt with.**

 **If you are wondering why Rose is so back and forth with her emotions, I can tell you that is the reality. I know it may seem a little all over the place, believe me, I wrote this chapter over a lot, trying to get it right. There is a reason they feel the way they do and act a certain way. Sorry if it isn't what you hoped for this Chapter, the next will be a lot happier, wink wink, I promise.**

 **Anyways, thank you for all the new follows and favs on the story, as well as the reviews. Keep them coming, they are my lifeline hahaha.**

 **Also check out my facebook page for updates, photos, and snips! The link is in the intro and in my Bio!**


	6. Chapter Five

_**Thank you for the new Fav/Follows/Reviews! I know you will enjoy this one, as always R &R. **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, all credit for characters goes to R. Mead**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Five**_

 _ **RPOV**_

My talk with Mason two weeks ago has helped immensely. I stopped pressuring Dimitri into talking to me, simply telling him that I am here when he is ready. I remind him of it every day he comes home with a scowl on his face. I noticed over the last few days, he seemed happier when he walked in the door. I was curious as to whether he was just having good days or if something happened that excited him, but I didn't want to ask. I wanted him to come to me about the good and bad, hopefully, he will fully open up soon. I wrote the letters Mason had told me about, Jill helping me with the ideas for each one. Each had a label to open when, you're having a bad day, need a reminder of how much I love you, know how proud I am of you, and many more. There were around thirty total, some with simple letters, others had pictures or inspiration cards, anything I could think of to make him smile when he was having a rough time. I was also leaving sticky notes on his uniforms, car and, with the help of Mason, his locker at work. Yes, call me a sap or whatever, but I thought it was cute, apparently, he did too.

Meeting the other wives have done wonders for me. Some have been married to their husbands and this life for twenty or more years. I was honestly shocked to hear they had been together for so long. One, Celeste, was an officer for seven years, quitting before the birth of her first child. She was able to provide insight to both sides, which was nice. She and her husband Emil met in the academy and have now been together for fifteen years, they have two children both boys, around the same age as mine. We get together a few times a week for the kids to play together and talk about the daily struggles of being a police wife. I was due to meet her in a couple hours, but I had so much to do around the house before the weekend, I wasn't sure if we would make it today.

Cleaning up the kitchen from our late lunch, I was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. I peeked out the window to see a UPS truck driving away, a small brown box left on the porch. I hadn't ordered anything, I didn't believe Dimitri had either. Was it yet another "gift" from my so-called admirer? I watched the area outside for a few moments before opening the door to retrieve the plain box from the steps. There were no markings or return address, just my name and address on the front.

I received letters, pictures, and gifts over the last few weeks. Whoever was behind this was going through extreme lengths to terrorize me. The letters contained both menial threats and declarations of love, bipolar much. More flowers and the occasional piece of jewelry, that started about a week ago. Those didn't really bother me though, I could throw the flowers away and the valuable metal into my drawer. What scared me to the bone, were the pictures. Photos of myself came first, walking to get the mail, at the door kissing Dimitri goodbye for work, getting in my car, even in the grocery store. He was following me in every step I took, every move I made, he was there.

Slowly opening the box, I found a large manila envelope, _yippie more pictures_ , I inwardly groaned. The file was thick, the contents, chilled my bones. The photos were not of me this time, they were of my family. All of them. Out and about in town, at their houses, everything. Then photos of my children, my vision turned red as I scanned through the large stack. He has never sent this many at a time, nor have they ever been of anyone bar me. I was livid, blood boiling well over, on the verge of exploding in my veins.

What is he trying to accomplish? Does he want to scare me? Done.

Piss me off? Already there.

Why keep sending me pictures and letters, why not just come after me? I couldn't understand the mindset that he was in, why play games? I tried to replay what was going on when these photos were taken. Where we were, who was around, desperately seeking some type of clue as to who was behind all of this. My money was still on Jesse, but Mase and Eddie assured me that he was laying low, currently living back at home with his parents. Since he got out of jail he hasn't been seen out of the house for more than an hour. He couldn't be the one following me, this takes time. He could have Aaron or Ralf doing his dirty work for him though, they always have followed him like lost puppies. However, Mason has been watching them too, no suspicious activity there.

I channeled my inner Hataway, the side of my mother and her profiling skills. Stalkers tended to be low lives, a nobody, no job, no real family and nothing to lose, which made them incredibly dangerous. It could be someone I met a hundred times, or once, but somewhere in their connection to me triggered something deep. It could be someone with a long history or a single meeting. No one I knew really well would do something like this though, at least not that I could think of. If it was the latter, I may never figure it out.

I thought about telling Dimitri, he would be angry though. I was doing everything I could to keep him in the dark for as long as I could, he tends to do rash things when I am in danger. I hoped if I didn't show my fear, the person behind this would leave me alone. However, it seems that is exactly what he wants. He wants me to be afraid of him, fear everything. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction though. On the outside, I was strong, fearless and confident. On the inside, I was terrified. I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't want to be anywhere alone. This was getting out of hand, I needed help. I needed Baba.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

I breathed out a heavy sigh as I climbed back into my unit to clear the call. Some people never cease to amaze me. Explain to me how, a bass boat launched itself, on land, into a house? How on God's green earth does that happen? Two hours of my life wasted as I listened to the redneck try to explain, in his drunken state, just how his boat wound up in the neighbor's kitchen. Thankfully, the neighbor wasn't inside the house when this happened, so no one was hurt, but she definitely was not happy when she pulled into her driveway. At least I only had one more hour of patrol, then the game tonight and I would be off for the weekend.

I had requested time off, set the kids up to stay with Abe and Suzanne and had an entire getaway scheduled for Rose and I. Over the last few weeks we have been working on our communication. I was still holding back most of the bad, but every so often I would fill her in on the lighter topics of my day. The last three days, I haven't been able to keep my excitement in check, I knew she was getting suspicious too. I booked a hotel in Houston for two nights, with a trip to IFly, an indoor skydiving experience, tickets to the Houston Symphony and NASA. I wanted to get her away from here, treat her to a date night like I did when we were teens. Only this time I had a lot more money to walk around with.

Wrapping up paperwork and checking off of patrol and into the special assignment for the game, I headed inside Globe Life for the last time this season. They only had a handful of games left and Chief finally decided she had punished me enough and I was free from the torture of overtime. Not that my wallet complained about the extra income, but I would much rather be home than here. I made my rounds as normal, overlooking minor infractions, I really didn't want any more reports before we headed out.

"2231, where are you?" someone called in my ear, I knew the voice, Matthews.

"2231, 2217 I am near first base."

"Meet me behind home plate, I have something to show you."

"Copy, en route now."

I made my way back to home plate, catching his eyes, he motioned me to follow him. We walked out the gate, near our units that were parked just outside.

"What's going on?"

"Some guy was snooping around the units about ten minutes ago, I watched him for a while, but I turned for a second and he was gone. When I came over to check and make sure nothing had been tampered with, I saw this," he pointed to the car.

Taped to the window was a small white envelope with my name on it, I opened the trunk of my unit and grabbed a pair of gloves before removing it. I carefully opened it and something fell to the ground with a clink. I bent down to see what it was, Matthews spoke before I could form the words in my own mind.

"Is that a bullet?"

"It would appear so," I practically whispered.

It was indeed a bullet, but it was one that had been fired, only the top remained. I picked up the tiny piece of lead and ran my fingers over it. Who would give me a spent round?

"What's on the paper?"

I turned my attention back to the slip in my hands, I expected some type of ominous message, but what I got was a bible verse.

" _John 15:13"_ was all it said, I handed it to him, taking a mere second to look at it, he lifted a brow at me.

"You don't know this," he questioned. I simply shook my head, was I supposed too?

Sighing, he recited the verse, " _Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,"_ quoting it like second knowledge. "It's the one they put on officers tombstones when they die in the line of duty."

Silence hung in the air, the weight of his words crushing me, making my heart rate increase ten times over. Was this someone planning to kill me or is this a cruel joke? I don't know of anyone who would think this is funny. I turned the paper in my hands, looking for any other clue or something that could tell me who it might be, but only the verse marked the white cardstock.

"What did he look like?"

"Average height, I'd say five eight maybe, brown hair, skinny build, chalky white skin tone."

My mind played through every person I have ever met, I could think of a few that matched that description, but it was vague so I couldn't say for sure any one of them was behind this. I rolled the bullet between my fingers again, something was off about it, but I couldn't tell exactly what. I had a really bad feeling rolling through my gut, fear crept into the back of my mind. This is not what I needed right now.

"If you see him again, radio me immediately."

"Of course, I'm sorry, Belikov. If I would have known he was leaving that, I would have approached him sooner, but he was gone in a blink."

"It's alright," I patted his shoulder before walking back into the stadium. Two innings left and I can go home and I leave in the morning.

Pulling onto my street, I looked for any unfamiliar vehicles or people around, I found nothing. Knowing someone was out there, possibly watching me, waiting for the perfect moment, I was completely on edge. I would feel a lot better once I made it in the house, securely locked behind my doors. This couldn't have come at a worse time, but I was slightly thankful that none of us would be home this weekend. If this person is watching, the kids would be safe with Abe, and Rose and I would be in Houston. I would worry more about the threat when we got back.

Walking in the house, Rose was sitting at the kitchen counter holding something in her hands. She must have been deep in thought about something, she didn't hear me open and close the door. I walked up behind her, placing my hand on her back and going to kiss her head. She almost fell completely out of the chair she jumped so high.

"Damn it, Dimitri, you scared me!" she bellowed.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to. What's that?" I looked at the picture she held in her hand. It was a beautiful shot of her at the park.

Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth she chewed viciously on the soft flesh. I could see fear creeping across her face.

"I have to tell you something, you're going to be mad," her voice soft.

Could the night get any worse?

Shouldn't have thought that of course, it can.

She took a deep breath and met my eyes. "Almost a month ago, when I told you Jesse had been released," she paused, I gave her a nod to keep going. "Someone sent me flowers, I was pretty sure it was him."

I jumped in, "You _were_ pretty sure, as in your not anymore?"

"I asked Mason and Eddie to keep an eye on him. They said he hasn't been out and about, whoever sent the flowers…" she paused again, taking another deep inhale of the air that was getting thicker by the moment. "They have been sending all types of things now, flowers, jewelry, pictures.." she lifted the one of her in her hands.

My anger started to grow, I was trying to keep a level head and let her talk, but I was scared and pissed off. She kept this from me for a month, something could have happened and I would have no clue as to what was going on. Adding on my own "gift" I received tonight, I was five seconds from an explosion.

"I know I should have said something, but I didn't want you to worry. I hoped it would just go away, but when he sent these…." she handed me a stack, "I knew it wouldn't."

I flipped through photo after photo of Rose, before coming to pictures of my family, my sisters, mother, _my children_.

Que the explosion.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

If I chewed on my lip any more it would start bleeding. The anger radiating from Dimitri was stifling. I knew he would be mad, but I hoped he would be able to keep his level head and help me. However, I could almost see the steam coming from his ears as his eyes darkened looking at the various photos.

"How could you keep this from me?" he growled so low, and not in a sexy way.

"You had so much going on lately, I thought I could handle it on my own," I admitted my defeat, I couldn't handle it, I needed help.

"Obviously not," he scoffed, "It is bad enough someone was aiming at you Rose, now they are targeting our children!" his voice got louder with every word until he was practically screaming.

I was about to defend myself further when I heard a door open upstairs. Turning my head enough to see up, Sasha stood at the railing. Hoping off my seat, I went to get her back in bed, also letting Dimitri breathe for a moment.

"Why is Papa yelling?" she asked, rubbing her eyes with her little fist.

"He didn't mean to, I am sorry we woke you, Milaya. Let's get you back to bed."

Ushering my daughter back to her room, I laid her down and kissed her forehead. She rolled over and mumbled something incoherent. Quietly I shut her door, checked on Misha and made my way back to the kitchen. Dimitri, now sitting at the counter, had his head in his hands. I didn't know how to keep this conversation going. We have been working so hard on communicating, but yet I have been hiding this from him. I guess I should practice what I preach, right.

"Comrade," I whispered, hoping if I kept my voice down, he would too.

He turned his head, tears welled in his eyes, both anger and fear masked his face.

"I am sorry for keeping it from you, Dimitri."

I didn't know what else to do at this point than keep apologizing. He looked like he was fighting a battle in his head, I have seen that look many times. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his forehead, his arms snaked around my waist.

"You can't hide these things from me, Roza, how can I protect and help you if you don't talk to me?"

"Practice what you preach, Comrade, I have been telling you the same thing for weeks."

Okay, maybe right now wasn't the best time to tell him that, but it was true. All I wanted was for him to open up to me, but he kept himself closed off. He can't really be mad at me for doing the same to him, right?

Wrong. He was mad, but I could see him trying to keep his anger in check. One thing I have come to realize about his job, his temper has gotten worse. He used to be so calm, no matter how bad things were he was always in control of himself. Now, the slightest thing would set him off.

"It's not the same," he mumbled, "I'm not hiding information that could put myself or others in danger.." he paused for a moment, something in his own words striking a nerve.

"And?" I urged him to continue.

He cleared his throat, "I got something tonight too," he paused to pull something out of his vest pocket. "I don't know if it is the same person, but with what is going on with you, I would assume it is connected."

A bible verse was written on a small card, surprisingly I knew the verse by heart. I had been looking into a gift for him for Christmas, a canvas for his office with that verse on it. The meaning behind the words didn't escape me, or the tiny piece of lead that accompanied it. I knew the person was following him too but was he planning on hurting him or was he just trying to scare us even more?

"Emil got a basic description of the guy that left it, white male, brown hair, five foot eight. I know it's vague, but does that sound familiar?"

I thought back to the first set of flowers I received. That was the only time they were brought to the house without a company name on the card. The kid delivering them matched the description Dimitri gave, who the hell is he? Other than that day, I have never seen him before, though something about him was familiar. The dark brown hair, baby blue eyes, kind-hearted face with a square hard jawline, where have I seen those before?

We talked a little more about what happened at the game, as well as when and how the items were brought to the house. Slowly we had calmed ourselves down and were able to talk about everything without getting angry with each other. We really needed to work on this and figure it out. I didn't like fighting with him, I knew he didn't like it either, we had been getting better, but still not where we used to be. After an hour, we were no closer to knowing who the person was, or why he was doing this, but it was getting late. I was exhausted from the day and Dimitri had worked a total of sixteen hours, we were ready for bed. I joined him under the covers, laying my head on his chest and listing to the steady beat of his heart. His hand rubbing soft circles at the base of my spine. I was almost asleep when he spoke.

"I had a surprise for you tomorrow, but I don't know if we should go now, not with this guy following everyone in our family."

I pulled myself up, attempting to raise a brow to him, I still hate that I can't do that.

"I asked Abe and Suzanne to watch the kids for the weekend, I wanted to take you to Houston for a getaway."

"Why can't we still go? They will be safe with Dad, you know how protective he is."

Besides, it would be a great chance for us to work on some of our problems.

"I know, it's just that I should be here protecting them."

"Is it already paid for?" he nodded, "Then we're going, they will be fine. Dad already knows what's been going on, I called him today before you got home. I needed to tell someone and I didn't want to distract you from work."

He looked like he was going to yell again, but took a deep breath, closing his eyes before speaking again.

"Okay."

I could see he was mad, but he was probably too tired to want to start another argument right now. Maybe this weekend away is exactly what we need to bring us back to our old selves. Placing my head back on his chest, I drifted off and slept soundly wrapped in his protective embrace.

* * *

The weekend was going beautifully, I felt like a teen again. Dimitri treated me to shows and museums, a romantic dinner and papering at the spa. The best part was the IFLY indoor skydiving. I was terrified at first to get into the chamber, especially with the waivers and video we had to watch before going in, but it was amazing. Feeling weightless, spinning around and doing flips mid-air, the rush was exhilarating. Never in a million years would I have thought it would be something to try, but I was glad we did. Everything he was doing this weekend, the endless spoiling and treats, he had something up his sleeve and I didn't have the slightest idea of what. At this point I could hardly care anyways, I was enjoying being away from home and alone with him. It was Saturday night and we would be heading home tomorrow. I called Dad twenty times since we left, checking on him and my babies, I needed constant reassurance that they were okay. Dimitri and I talked on the drive about the notes, trying to dissect the meaning behind the words and saying he used. We didn't come up with much, so we decided to let it go for the next few days. We would focus on reconnecting with each other, when we got home, we would worry about the never-ending problems of our lives.

"You about ready, Roza?" Dimitri asked through the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I'll be out in just a minute."

I finished shaving every stitch of hair off my body and got dressed. I dug out the black dress from Adrian's party senior year...yeah that one. Dimitri never got to see it on me in person, only the picture I had sent him before the party. I knew he liked it back then, now it looked even better. With my larger bust, there was a considerable amount of cleavage showing, and my slightly wider hips made the fabric cling a bit tighter. For having to kids, I still looked damn good if I do say so myself. Leaving my hair down in soft waves, I put on a light powder, mascara and eye liner. Deeming myself ready, I stepped out of the bathroom.

I could actually hear his breath hitch in his throat, a low growl escaping his lips. He let out a string of Russian that I couldn't keep up with, but I was sure I heard the words breathtaking and something about torture. I laughed lightly as his eyes roamed my body, mine doing the same to him. In a silk blue button down, black slacks and dress shoes, he looked like a damn GQ model.

"See something you like, Comrade?" I joked.

"You already know the answer, Roza," his words dark with desire.

"Want to skip dinner and go straight to dessert?" I flashed my man-eater smile, earning another low growl from him.

Another quick string of Russian came out and I chuckled. Even if I couldn't keep up with what he was saying, I knew he only did that when he was getting overly excited. I stepped forward and place a soft kiss on his chest before grabbing his hand and heading for the door. I would make it up to him later, right now I was actually starving and in desperate need of sustenance, especially if the night went the way I hoped.

* * *

 _ **Split POV Dimitri (Regular) Rose (Italics) M SCENE**_

I wanted to take my time with her tonight, I wanted to ravish her in pleasure.

 _I needed him, like a fish to water, I needed every part of my sensual husband. Our lips met in a kiss that could only be described as heart-stopping. The world around me faded away at the taste of his tongue dancing against mine._

A low growl escaped my throat as she pulled my lip between her teeth, taking full possession of my mouth. I have missed her, missed this. The last few weeks of torment I have put myself through would be eradicated tonight. I would let go of all the dark secrets that she held onto, all the pain and sorrow of my work, and I would love my wife for many hours. I gripped her thighs tightly, lifting her up to wrap her tight toned legs around my waist. Her breast molding to my chiseled chest and the heat of her core already driving me wild.

 _The air in the elevator heated up quickly, I was unable to keep myself from him. When I finally needed to break away to catch my breath, but I continued to place soft kisses to his jaw and neck as he pushed me against the cold glass wall. A moan escaping him as I hit the spot on his neck that has always been oh so sensitive to my touch. My name rolled off his tongue in a husky deep growl._

"Roza," the deep coil in my throat making her name barely audible. She kept nipping the spot next to my Adam's apple, this woman would be the death of me, I swear. The elevator dinged on our floor and I walked us down the long hall. The distraction of her making finding the door to our room difficult. Once I did, sliding the key card I threw it open, headed straight for the bed, kicking the door closed behind me. Unwrapping her from my body, I laid her down, hovering just above her. The most exquisite creature on earth was right here in front of me. Her chest heaving up and down with the rapid breaths she took. I loved the dress she wore tonight, but I needed her skin, all of it. Without a second thought, I gripped the top of the strapless black bodice and ripped it straight off her flesh. She opened her mouth, I knew she would be mad about that, she loved this dress as much as I did. Before she could utter a word, I crashed my lips to hers. Silencing any remark she had and possessing her mouth with my own.

 _As much as I loved the dress, him ripping it drove me wild. I can buy another, I thought. He was still wearing far too many clothes for my liking. Running my fingers over the silk fabric that covered his immaculate chest, I pulled it apart, buttons flying left and right as I bared his chest. I drug my nails down his pecks, to his eight-pack, all the way to his happy trail of soft curls that peaked right above his waistline. I felt him shudder under my touch, his hips thrust into me. Arching my back and lifting my hips, meeting him each time he pushed forward. His rough calloused hand made its way along my ribs, to my back, releasing my breast from their confines of the strapless red lace. A growl of appreciation coming from him as he buried his head between my globes._

I nuzzled into her chest, rubbing the scruff on my cheeks over her erect nipples. She arched into me, moaning at the stimulation to her peak. Latching my lips around her left mound, my hand caressed the right, gentle at first, but it took a mere moment before I was roughly palming her. She whimpered my name like a prayer, wanting more than I was willing to give her right now. I wanted to drag this out, relish in every touch, kiss, feeling and release I could give her tonight. Shifting slightly to the side of her, my hand found the apex of her thighs, removing the offensive fabric that was still covering my most prized possession. I paid equal attention to her right breast, moving my right hand to rest between her legs, coating my fingers in the silk fluid that flowed quickly from her. Pulling off her right nipple with an audible "pop", I dipped my finger into her hole, withdrawing quickly to bring my finger to my lips. Sucking in the sweet taste of my love, I wanted her pussy covering my face. I wanted to smell, taste and see her sweet lips. I laid back, grabbing her hip, I rolled her over, a leg on either side of my head. Her arousal dripped down her slit, right into my mouth. Opening my mouth as wide as I could, I took her gorgeous pussy in, licking, sucking and biting at her slick folds.

 _I let out a deep earthy moan as his mouth made contact with my core, pushing my hips down harder on his face. His hand collided forcefully with my ass, the sound echoing in the otherwise quiet room, before gripping it tightly in his large hand. I scratched my nails along his thighs, feeling him moan into me, that is the hottest thing on the planet. I quickly undid his belt and button on the dress stacks he still had on and pushed them down, he lifted his hips slightly to help, not pausing in devouring me. All eight rock hard inches sprung free and saluted me, the tip glistening with pre-cum. Gripping him firmly, I slowly stroked up and down, before lowering my head to him. Flicking my tongue over his tip, getting the first taste of him I have had in a long time. I felt him rumble under me, a vibration radiating from my center up to my mouth, I returned his growl of appreciation as I took him as deep as I could. Cupping his heavy sack in my other hand, my lips made work of his thick shaft. Hollowing out my cheeks I sucked roughly, each pass earning me another moan from him. I felt the familiar coil begin in my stomach, I was almost there. I picked up my pace on him, at the same time grinding my hips against his face. The stubble from him skipping his morning shave tickled at my thighs, lighting my fire even more. I felt myself tightening, Dimitri pushing me over the edge as he plunged two fingers deep into me. My body pulsed and the band snapped as my body wracked with the most mind-blowing orgasm I have had in a very long time._

Rose screamed around my cock as she came undone. The feeling of her cumming on my face and her screams vibrating around me allowed me to follow right behind her. My balls tightened and my cock pulsed as I filled her beautiful mouth with my seed. I grunted and growled into her, unable to stop my hips from bucking against her mouth. When she finally released me from her hot mouth, she swallowed my load and let out a hum of satisfaction. I grabbed her leg and flipped her off of me, sitting myself up to take in the blissful smile on Rose's face. "Damn" she muttered, her smile never faltering. I chuckled at her, granted, I felt the same way. That was the best orgasm I have ever had. A quick glance down, I was already hardening again, what can I say, the woman does things to me. Fully removing my pants and shoes, I placed myself above her, I pushed my leg between hers, opening her wide for me to settle into my home.

"How bad do you want it, Rose?" I growled.

I grabbed myself tightly and found her entrance, before she could answer, I slammed fully into her in one quick thrust. Her mouth opened into a large _O_ and she screamed. I pounded her pussy like it was the only thing keeping me alive. Pushing all of my fear, sorrow and mostly anger out of my body with each thrust of my hips. Driving as hard and deep as I could, she screamed loudly, her back arching off the bed and eyes rolling back. Lifting one of her legs to wrap around my hip, I drove deeper into her glory hole. The slick tight flesh that wrapped around my girth drove me insane. I couldn't think, speak or keep my eyes open. My own pleasure intensifying with every sound she made. Her hands gripped my biceps, nails digging into my skin, I was sure she was going to draw blood with how deep they were.

 _I was already cumming for the second time, but I don't even think he realized it. He was destroying me. I screamed, growled and moaned his name like it was the air I needed to breathe. He didn't stop or slow, it honestly felt like I would break if he didn't let up a little, but it felt so fucking good I couldn't bear to ask him too. This wasn't loving, sensual sex, this was brutal fucking. I loved it. I doubted I would be able to walk in the morning with how rough he was being with me tonight. His cock continued to hit deep inside me, filling me over and over again until I felt his body start to lock up, he was about to release. His grunts grew faster and his voice deepened. He pulsed inside of me, slowing his thrust until he came to a stop, still buried inside me. His breathing shallow as he tried to come down from his high. His eyes finally opened and he looked at me. Love radiated from him, bliss and desire also present on his face, but love dominated everything. If I could see myself I am sure I was showing the same thing. I rocked my hips against him, he mimics my actions. Slowly we built back up, he was growing again inside of me, it was an odd feeling. The array of emotions I was feeling tonight were unbelievable. The animalistic want and desire, love and lust, pleasure and pain, all mixed together to make one hell of a night._

From oral to raw fucking, to passionate lovemaking, we did it all. I don't remember the last time we both had more than one orgasm in a night. I was determined to make tonight last a lifetime. I will go as many rounds with her as she wants, as hard or soft as she likes. I wanted nothing more than to release all our problems in the form of erotic pleasure.

After her fifth, she decided she was done. I ran her a hot bath and helped her into the tub. Taking a quick shower myself, we had worked up quite a sweat.

"Comrade?" Roza called from the tub, "Can you help me out?"

She sounded shy, I chuckled at her as I grabbed a towel.

"Too much for you, Roza?"

"No…." she trailed out, I gave her a raised brow, "Okay, maybe a little. You have never fucked me like that before."

"Did you not like it?" I was worried I took things too far, she just drove me so wild I couldn't stop. With all the stress I have been under, I let it all go when I did things to her, was I too rough?

"Oh no, I loved it. It was new is all," she rose on her toes to place a soft kiss on my lips. "Don't worry, Comrade, I am not that fragile."

"Oh I know," I grinned at her, giving her another kiss to her still swollen lips. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

I helped her walk to the bed, she waddled a little and I had to bite back another chuckle. She is going to hate me in the morning, but it was more than worth it.

Tomorrow we went back to reality, back to fearing every move we made. I would enjoy the rest of the night, tomorrow, I would find a way to protect my family. I already had an idea brewing in my mind, but I was sure Rose was not going to like it.

* * *

Authors Note:

* * *

Sorry it's late guys, work got busy and I couldn't finish the edit till I got home. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed that lemon because things are about to take off! Thanks again for all the reviews follows and favs! Lets hit 35 before the next chapter, everyone who reviews will be sent a sneak peek!


	7. Chapter Six

_**Thank you for all the reviews, we didn't hit 35 but got close. I hope you guys enjoy this one, it was not easy to write for several reasons. Enjoy and R &R. **_

* * *

_**Chapter Six**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"You both look refreshed! How was your weekend?" Suzanne smiled as we made our way into the kitchen.

"Ah-May-Zing!" Rose emphasized each syllable. "How were the kids?"

"Angels as always, they are out back playing with Pavel and Melissa right now. Lunch will be ready soon, will you be staying?"

"Yes, thank you." I answered before turning to Rose, "I need to talk to Dad. Why don't you go let them know we're here."

She nodded and headed for the back door, while I went to Abe's office. Knocking lightly on the door, he called for me to enter.

"Welcome home, Son. How was your trip?"

"Great, thank you for watching the kids for us. Did anything happen while we were gone?"

"Not here. I had Pavel go by and check on your family and the house, nothing seemed out of place."

I nodded, thankful that everyone was still safe and sound. I brought myself to sit in the chair across from him, hands folded in front of me, elbows resting on my knees. I had a plan to get Rose and my family away from here, somewhere safe where this person wouldn't be able to find them. I would need help though. Lots of help.

"What is it, Dimitri?"

I took a deep breath, "I have an idea, but there are two problems. One, I need help with expenses, second, Rose is going to hate it."

"Let's hear it," he sat back in the plush leather chair, tenting his fingers.

I needed them away from here and had the perfect place to send them. Mama and the girls would be ecstatic, but Rose was going to be cross. For one, she has been wanting to go for some time, but she wants me with her. I, however, will not be going with them. I will stay here and work every angle I can to find the person threatening my family, eliminate it and bring them back home.

"My mother still owns our home in Baia, I want to send Rose, the kids, and my family over there until I can find the person stalking them."

"And you."

"Yeah, and me. I just need to make sure they are safe. I doubt he would follow them overseas, if I can get him focused on me, I will have a better chance of catching him."

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"Why?"

I have been thinking about this for the last three days, it's the only way I could see to keep everyone secure. It was pretty much the only idea I had.

"If you take her away, he will kill you," he paused to let his words sink in, "I have contacted a few of Janine's old colleagues, they were able to provide a profile." He took out a large manila folder, opening it, I could see several notes and reports. He shuffled through them and handed me a few pages.

I scanned through the details, White Male, between the age of twenty-five and thirty-five. Possibly working with someone younger, easily influenced, a relative or close friend…. A sexual sadist who receives a release from watching and creating fear…. Stalkers will eliminate anything that stands in the way of them and the item of their desire, family and friends should be alert of suspicious activity…. Based on the items sent, resides in the gulf coast area of Florida. Beach sand and shells are native to that region…

She didn't tell me about that, she said he sent letters and flowers, some jewelry, not sand and shells.

"Sand?" I questioned him.

"That was sent here for some reason, had her name on it, but I think his partner got something messed up. Honestly, I think it was intentional. I didn't tell her about it, but I had it sent in with everything you guys brought over."

 _White male, twenty-five to thirty-five, near Florida...Destin._

The realization hit me like a brick wall. I looked at Abe, eyes wide as the shock began to settle in, _it's not possible_ , I mumbled to myself.

"Apparently it is," Abe whispered.

"You knew?!"

Quickly he raised his hand, "I only just figured it out myself. The sand tipped me off, but when the profile came back, I called my contact who was supposed to have handled him."

"You said you called the police and he died at the hospital! Why did you lie?"

"I did what I thought was best," he growled, "Look, I don't want to get into this right now, not with her here, when she finds out...well it's not going to be easy."

"You have let her believe for the last eight years that he was dead, that she killed him! How did that work out for you?"

"He was supposed to be dead, someone lied to me and didn't do their job. Trust me, I will handle that, but for now, we need to not let her know."

"You want me to lie to her, too? We are finally talking again and working out our issues and you want me to lie to her?"

"No. I just don't want you to tell her something she doesn't need to know yet." he reasoned.

"I can't believe this," I whispered more to myself than anything.

"Now that we know who it is though, we can find him easier and hopefully take care of him before this gets further out of hand."

I simply nodded, running the information I was just given through my mind. We all thought we would never have to deal with him again, he was gone and it was over. Now, he is back and all I can think about is the first day he entered our lives. Rose's life.

* * *

 _ ****Flashback****_

 _"That's not what I meant and you know it, Rose. I was just simply saying it's going to mean more time apart," maybe I should have phrased that better, but she really did drop a bomb on me just then._

 _"No, you said it loud and clear. You questioned me about what I want, but I have never questioned your choices. I have pushed you to go after what you want, why can't you do that for me?" she was screaming, anger rolling off of her in waves._

 _"Come on, Roza. You know I will always support you."_

 _"Well, you sure are showing it in a shitty way." she stood up and headed for the door. "I will see you later, don't wait up."_

" _Roza!" she kept going, slamming the door behind her._

 _I crossed the ten feet, as soon as I opened the door I heard her yell, "Don't Follow ME!"_

 _I gave her a few minutes before heading down to check on her. I walked around the pools for about ten minutes before I spotted her. She was talking to some guy. I couldn't see much, his back was to me, but I could see her. The emotions running on her face spoke volumes. There was anger, sadness, love, and fear. I understood the anger and the love, but why sadness and fear. Well, maybe I could understand why she was sad, but fear, that I couldn't comprehend at all._

 _I watched them for several minutes, then she reached out to him, laying her hand on his. What was going on? She doesn't even know this guy and she is talking to him, in the middle of the night, in a secluded area, and she's touching him! My vision tinged with red._ Calm down, calm down, it's probably not what you are thinking, Dimitri, _I tried to reason myself._

 _ ****End Flashback****_

* * *

But it had been what I was thinking, maybe not from her, but definitely from him. If I would have never fought with her that night, she would have never met him. Never been taken in Tennessee and wouldn't be going through what she is now. That damn night. Will it ever stop biting me in the ass?

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

"MAMA!" Sasha screamed as I came into view.

"Hey beautiful, did you have a good weekend?"

"Yep! Dede and Nine let us stay up and watch movies and we played games and….," her smile was contagious, I couldn't help but grin back at her as she rambled on about their adventures.

I looked around the yard as she continued talking, Pavel was sitting with Misha by the ancient oak tree in the far corner, Melissa was picking up toys.

"Malyshka, why don't you head inside and clean up for lunch," I interrupted her, nodding she headed inside and I went to Misha and Pavel.

Pavel caught my eyes as I got closer, sadness clouded his features, he whispered something to Misha and stood up to meet me halfway. Misha stayed with his back to the trunk, I could see dark circles under his eyes, he didn't sleep last night.

"What's wrong?"

Pavel looked back to my boy, "He won't talk to anyone today. He has been fine all weekend, but when we came out to play, he went straight there and hasn't moved since. I have tried to talk to him a few times, but he won't say anything."

"Did he have any nightmares while we were gone?"

He only closes himself off when he dreams, the look on his little face told me he saw something heart-wrenching. I mean for a four-year-old, almost anything could be terrifying, but I have only seen him like this once, about a month ago.

"I'm not sure, he didn't wake up screaming or anything like normal, but something is scaring him."

"I will try to talk to him, can you go get Dimitri for me? If he won't talk to me, he will talk to his Papa."

Pavel nodded, patting my shoulder and went to get Dimitri. I walked over and sat down next to my littlest baby, my soul. It was just past noon, the sun was high, minimal clouds covered the blue sky. Mid-autumn wasn't unbearably hot, but it was still easily upper seventies to low eighties out, at least it wasn't humid today. The large oak provided a nice shade, the sun rays danced around the branches, forming different shapes on the grass ahead of us. I sat there for another moment, waiting to see if he would say something on his own, when he didn't I looked down at him. He stared straight ahead, not moving a muscle, eyes not blinking.

"What's wrong, Misha? Did you have a bad dream?" nothing, "Are you hungry, want to go get some lunch?" still nothing. He was like me when it came to food if that didn't get a reaction out of him, I didn't know what would. I dropped my arm around his shoulders, pulling him into my side and kissing his hair.

"You know you can talk to me, Mama is always here."

His eyes didn't move, he still didn't speak. I was growing more and more concerned with each passing second. I heard the back door open and looked to see Dimitri coming toward us. A silent conversation flowed between us, he could tell what was wrong with one look at our son. I kissed Misha one last time and stood for Dimitri to take my place. With a quick kiss, I went back inside, watching them from the kitchen window.

Almost immediately I could see Misha talking to him. I was no master at reading lips, but I was at reading Dimitri's body language and expressions. Whatever Misha was telling him baffled him, he looked like he didn't know what to say back. He pulled Misha into his lap, rocking him. I watched them for a few more minutes, Suzanne joining me to look out the window.

"Will he be okay?"

"I hope so, I don't know what to do to help him. He will only talk to Dimitri about his dreams."

"Maybe a child counselor? See if there is some way for them to get him to open up and maybe they will stop?"

"If anyone could figure it out it would be Yeva, he is too much like her," I was only half joking, he really was just like his great-grandmother, that scared me.

"That he is," she laughed.

I was still looking out the window, watching my two guys talk. Dimitri finally stood up with Misha still in his arms and came toward the house. The look on his face telling me that whatever Misha said to him struck a deep nerve. Catching my eye through the window, he told me we would talk about it later.

"What did he tell you?"

We had just put the kids to bed and were now sitting in the living room for our quiet time. I couldn't wait any longer to know what Misha had seen. All through lunch and coming home for dinner, he was silent, only nodding or whispering a single word when Dimitri would ask him something. Dimitri looked to have an internal battle going on, I really hoped he wouldn't hold back and keep something from me. We were making progress, I didn't want to go backward, especially, when it dealt with my son.

Taking a deep breath, "He saw Mason and me in a shootout.." my breath caught in my throat, stroking my hair, he continued, "There were three people, but he didn't know who they were or what they looked like. He couldn't tell me where only that the houses looked old and it was dark."

"Did he see how it ended?"

"No," his voice barely a whisper.

My breathing picked up, thoughts of both Dimitri and Mason being put in danger, unknowing if it would really happen and what the outcome would be. My thoughts took off like a Lamborghini, zero to sixty in two point five seconds.

"Do you think it has to do with the stalker?"

"I don't know, Roza."

He was still playing with the ends of my hair, twirling them around his fingers in a meditative way. I was about to say something when Dimitri stiffened beneath me, I turned my neck to look up at him. He was staring at something in the corner of the room, above the front door. I tried to see what he was looking at but found nothing that seemed out of place. He tapped my shoulder, I sat up to let him up from the couch. He studied the security camera in the corner, it has been there for the last twenty-something years, since Dad bought the house, I never paid any mind to it.

"Did you ever have the alarm reconnected when we moved back in?"

"No, but Dad may have, why?"

Putting his back to the camera, he mouthed something to me, I really suck at reading lips. He flicked his eyes upward toward the camera, and mouthed again, this time I caught it.

 _He's Watching._

Putting his finger to his lips, motioning for me to stay silent, he disappeared into the kitchen. I heard several drawers open and close, then plastic clasp being taken apart. I stayed on the couch, watching around the corner of the wall. He came back after a moment, looking again at the camera on the wall. Following his gaze, I noticed the little light that was on a moment ago was no longer there. Walking around the house, he checked all the doors, windows and cameras, making sure everything was secure. When he finally returned, I was still silent, waiting for him to let me know we could talk again.

"How did I miss that?" he mumbled to himself.

"Miss what?"

"Those never worked. If you didn't have the alarm reactivated, the lights wouldn't have been on. How long has he been watching?"

He was still talking more to himself than to me, but I had the same question. Exactly how long has he been seeing inside our home? Did he see everything that went on behind the closed doors, hear everything? Was he watching constantly or recording to playback later?

Dimitri was pacing the floor, hands constantly running through his chin-length hair, rapidly mumbling in Russian. All of a sudden he stopped, pulling his phone from his pocket and dialed a number. I couldn't hear the voice on the other end, but he was still speaking in Russian, it could only be a handful of people. Someone in his family, Ivan or Dad, my money was on Dad. I heard the word Baia a few times, where he lived in Russia before coming here. I was getting better at understanding his native tongue, but when he spoke so fast I couldn't keep up. Only catching every few words, I start to piece together what he was saying.

"I am not running away, Comrade!"

He stopped pacing to look at me, guess he didn't think I would catch on. Switching to English for my benefit, he spoke both to me and the person on the phone.

"It's the only way I can keep everyone safe," he pleaded, "Please, you have too."

"No, I am not a coward, and after what Misha saw, I can't leave you here by yourself. If something.." I couldn't finish.

The mere thought of losing him, be it from this psycho or some other criminal, my throat closed up, breathing becoming difficult as the multiple scenarios played out in my mind. I refused to be halfway around the world, unable to do something, anything to help us get through this. For the first time since this whole thing started, I broke down. Thinking about Dimitri dying pushing me over the edge, deep into a black abyss that I couldn't find my way out of. Wrapping my arms around my legs, I drew my knees to my chest and let out every ounce of fear I held.

The world around me faded away, nothing mattered anymore, my own fear and anxiety captivated every thought, every emotion I could feel and twisted it into vivid nightmares. Dimitri lying a pool of his own blood, eyes wide and glazed over. His skin pale, paperwhite as life left his body and only the shell remaining. The shell of my husband, my lover, my best friend, my hero. The vision changed and I stood in a room, a room full of people, yet no one spoke a word. The fluorescent lights dancing off the brass of many different badges. Over a thousand officers gathered in one place, all to say goodbye to someone they may or may not have known, but we're family too. A casket sat at the front, flanked by two officers in their dress blues, holding an at-ease stance. Flowers, lots of flowers, lined the stage. Some inelegant sprays, others designed into shapes, the state, the flag, a badge. Dimitri's badge number written across a ribbon on the front. It's a wonder my heart could beat any faster, but it continued to pick up its pace. Thudding widely in my chest, hurting more and more with each rhythmic beat.

I walked down a long aisle, Sasha on my right, Misha on my left. Everyone in the room stood to attention, saluting the fallen family as we made our way to the front row. People spoke of him, songs were sung, it was time to say goodbye. As they placed the folded flag from his casket into my hands, Eddie looked deep into my eyes, tears he so desperately tried to hold back fell free down his cheeks. _"Don't ever forget what an amazing man he was. He is a hero, always remember that."_ I could only nod, kissing my head, then my children, Eddie returned to his post. The honor guard raised their flags and twenty-one shots rang out for the officer down. My officer. They called his number on the radio, but he didn't answer. He would never answer again. _2231 is End of Watch, Now and Forever More, Godspeed_ rang out through the airways. The entire fleet of officers was silent, the only sound was a strangled cry. That cry was coming from me.

I could feel the world shifting, threatening to crumble around me as I watched the only man I have ever loved be lowered into the cold earth. I could almost hear him calling out to me, his accent wrapping around me in a warm blanket.

"Roza, baby please, please wake up," the voice was pained, desperate for me to respond.

I wanted too, I wanted to talk to him one more time, but I couldn't get mouth to function. Everything around me was dark and empty, the voice echoing through the nothingness of my mind. I was cold, I didn't realize just how much until I felt the warmth of another body next to mine. I tried to see, tried to feel who it was, my body just wouldn't function. Eventually, I gave up, relaxing into the feel of a warm embrace, blackness swallowing me until I thought no more.

* * *

 _ **Third Person POV**_

"What do you mean he "messed up"? How hard can it be to send a package to the right address?"

I was livid, these fucking kids! I should have known better than to get involved with him and his petty obsession with her. I could care less about her, it was him I wanted. I wanted him to fall off that high horse he galloped around on. _"Rookie of the Year", "Life-Saving Award",_ who gives a fuck. He is not the man all these people believe him to be, it's a facade, and I will expose him.

"I don't know what happened, but I will take care of it. I just wanted you to know to be extra careful."

"I have been taking care of my self longer than you have been alive, I will be fine. You need to worry about me getting my hands on your precious brother. If he blew this and I don't get what I came for, I will have both of your heads," bringing my tone to a low menacing level, staring him down.

I could see the fear he was trying to hide, the kid had no poker face. His ocean blue eyes refused to meet mine. Good. I want him terrified of me, then he will know better than to double cross me in the end. I had no intention of sticking with him once I received what I wanted. That was the deal, I get him, then he will get her. He said it worked better for him anyway, once she was broken, he could easily take her away. Once I got what I wanted, I would disappear again. There is no use of sticking around to watch the train wreck that will be left behind. I have no interest in that, only his demise.

"Take care of it, _now."_

I turned my back and headed toward my hotel. The pathetic room held only a bed and small chair, but it would work for now. This being the fourth hotel I have resided in the last month, I have had worse. I didn't want to stay in one place for too long, if there is one thing to say about Dimitri, he is observant. Being this close to him was already a gamble, if my face became known, he might just find me out. Honestly, I am surprised he hasn't yet. I walked by him a number of times at the baseball field. Watched him from the small park down from the house, not bothering to really conceal my identity. Maybe he isn't as observant as I remember.

Growing quite bored of the ridiculous things that pass for television nowadays, I decided a drive was in need. Weaving around the familiar streets, I noticed one thing different, another car parked outside of their house. A large SUV. Mazur. The name felt like acid on my tongue, leaving a foul taste in my mouth. Maybe I will make another stop after handling Dimitri. Lord knows I have plenty to repay Ibraham for.

A "ding" noise drew me out of my fantasies of destroying both of them, the fuel light illuminated on the dash. Damn it. Checking my wallet, it was indeed empty. Strictly living off cash was difficult in this day and age, but I wouldn't use my cards for fear of being traced. I have not spent the last decade off the grid to leave crumbs everywhere now. I drove down the street, carefully keeping my face hidden from his home. Heading into the prominent neighborhood, I quickly located a house that was unoccupied at the moment. Breaking in the back door, I made my way through, looking for anything I could quickly grab and sell on the street tomorrow. I found a few watches and necklaces in the bedroom, but the hall closet proved to be the most promising. A .45 caliber handgun laid on the top shelf, a full box of ammunition next to it. Picking it up, it was already loaded, perfect. I slipped it into the waistband of my trousers, grabbed the ammunition and made my way back out. As I went back through the kitchen, I noticed a dry erase board on the fridge. Quickly scribbling a message to the resident and the officer responding, I exited the house and went back to my ratty hotel.

* * *

Authors Note:

For those that hadn't figured it out before, you know who suspect number one is now, right? Now, who can tell me who suspect number two is? Anyone with the right answer will be sent an exclusive clip of an upcoming chapter. Thank you again for all the reviews and new fav/follows. Don't forget to check out my facebook for updates and snips, the link is in the intro and my bio!


	8. Chapter Seven

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**_

 _ **R &R as always and Enjoy! **_

* * *

_**Chapter Seven**_

 _ **RPOV**_

My skull felt like a jackhammer was going off, the pounding was immensely annoying and painful. Gradually, I tried to open my eyes, unknowing how long I have been asleep, or whatever you want to call it, opening them would be difficult. Thankfully, there were no bright lights or annoying beeping, so I wasn't in a hospital, but in my own bed. Dimitri must have carried me up here at some point last night. The room was mostly dark, only the small light from under the bathroom door, giving the room a soft glow. I could hear the shower running, otherwise, the house seemed quiet. A glance at the clock explained why it was four a.m. Rolling over, I attempted to move to the edge of the bed, trying to bring myself into a sitting position, easier said than done. I felt weak, exhausted, above all, depressed.

I can recall in perfect memory the thoughts I had mere hours ago. Seeing Dimitri..that way... I could already feel my heart rate increasing again. Putting a pillow over my face, I breathed deeply. _It was only my imagination_ , I repeated over and over as I inhaled and exhaled slowly. The taps turned off, but I remained concealed from the world under the pillow. I hadn't calmed enough to remove it. Tears welled and were starting to fall down the side of my face. I knew it wasn't real, none of the horrid things I saw were real. My demons got the better of me, but damn if it didn't feel like I was right there, living it. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time, about seven years to be exact. The last was before Sasha was born, I worried I would fail her as a mother, much like mine did in my early childhood. Once I held her tiny body in my arms, I knew I would do everything in my power to give her a great life. I haven't suffered an attack since. Not when Dimitri was shot at or when we argued over his job and the effects it was having. But Misha's "vision" and the threats that have come to me and my family, the monsters in my own head were taking their chance.

"Roza?" Dimitri called, the sultry sound of his voice calming me further.

I pulled the pillow down, looking toward the bathroom door. He stood with nothing but a towel around his hips, hair still dripping from his shower. I took a minute before saying anything just to drink him in. With the door open behind him, it looked like he was glowing, gold light wrapping around his frame. His eyes were soft as he watched me tentatively, he was so scared. My eyes lingered on his chest, not just because it was beautiful to look at, rock hard and defined from his athletic days and constant working out now, but the rise and fall. He is breathing, he's alive and well standing before me. _It was only my imagination._

"I'm here, Comrade," my voice hoarse.

Dimitri walked beside the bed, turning on the bedside lamp, I saw a glass of water and two tablets. Handing me the water first, I gave him a soft smile of appreciation. I drank it greedily, the ice cold liquid soothing my sore throat. I must have been crying too, though I don't remember that.

"How do you feel, Milaya?"

"Like I have been hit by a freight train, everything hurts."

Panic attacks may be a mental thing, but when you come out of a particularly bad one like I had, it feels like you have run a marathon. My lungs felt like they wouldn't inflate properly, I couldn't get enough air in. My muscles were tense, and my head hurt with a five-alarm migraine. Dimitri went to the bathroom to refill the glass with water, coming back he handed me the two tablets. Taking a moment to ponder how I became so lucky to have him, I downed the medicine and placed the glass back on the table.

At a snail's pace, he lifted his hand toward my face, gently brushing a few strands of hair behind my ear before resting his palm on my cheek. I leaned into his touch, wrapping my hand around his wrist, feeling the steady pulse under my fingertips. I placed a soft kiss on his inner wrist, letting out a sigh of relief.

"How about I run you a hot bath."

"Will you join me?" my words almost inaudible I spoke so low.

I wasn't aiming for bathtub sex, doesn't work well anyways, I just needed him near. I needed to feel his bare flesh against mine, the steady beat of his heart. I needed him.

"Of course, Roza," he leaned forward to kiss my forehead and headed back into the bathroom.

We sat in silence for about ten minutes, my back pressed tightly against his chest, breathing in rhyme. I ran the back of my finger up and down his thigh, he mimicked my motions running his down my arm. Every so often placing soft loving kisses on my hair or shoulder. I knew he would want to talk about what happened, I wanted to, but I was worried it would cause another attack. He finally broke the silence.

"Milaya, what happened?"

I stalled for a moment, taking an extra second to breathe deep a few times. "You were killed…," I told him everything, having to stop several times to bring myself back. He didn't interrupt, didn't ask any questions, he just listened until I was finished.

"I promise you, Roza, I will always come home. You don't have to fear that," his tone held no room for argument, but I would.

"You can't promise that and you know it," he was about to say something, but I kept going, "I know it and I have accepted it. Celeste has been really wonderful in helping me, but don't promise me something you can't keep. You can promise to do everything you can to walk in the door every night, but you can't promise that you will."

I wasn't angry, I was crestfallen. I wanted him to know I finally understand, that I get why he wants to do this job. At the same time though, I know the risk involved and that every day he makes it home is a blessing. Being a Police Wife, you give apart of yourself to everyone else, which most take for granted that piece of you, you so willingly let go of. An officer doesn't serve alone, they have people who hold them very dear serving beside them. I go to bed most nights alone, so he can keep others safe. I watch the news and hear the sirens, while others pray for the injured, I pray Dimitri and his brothers and sisters stay safe. I get it now. The understanding making my next statement matter that much more to me, and hopefully him too.

"I don't want to fight anymore, Dimitri. I don't want to keep secrets and I don't want us to push each other away, even if we think it's for the best. I want to spend every day with you like we are teenagers just falling in love. I want to live like tomorrow may never come, because the reality is, it might not."

He didn't say anything, I turned my head back to look at him, his eyes gazing at me in astonishment. Pride, love, and compassion reflected in his eyes.

"You are so amazing, Roza, do you know that?"

"I don't feel like it," I mumbled, honestly, I didn't. I felt weak to let the demons get the best of me. I felt like I was an ant and they were the kid holding a magnifying glass, burning me. I felt small and insignificant.

"Oh, but you are, my love. You see something that is meant to break you and you took it by the horns. You could be sulking in bed, thinking still that it was real and life will never be the same, but you aren't. You're taking that image, that nightmare, and telling it to fuck off, you won't let it win."

"Comrade! Language," I gasped in mock horror, playfully smacking his arm.

"Oh please, Roza," he laughed.

I just smiled up at him, he always knows just what to say and how to say it. I hardly hear him curse in English, other than the bedroom antics. When he put it that way, cursing or not, he was right. I won't let them win, I have fought before and I will fight now.

Climbing out of the now cold tub, Dimitri and I decided to forget sleep for the remainder of the night and spent the extra few hours cuddling and talking. After our weekend, I was still feeling a little sore from the brutal, yet amazing, night of passion we had. Besides, after seeing my worst nightmare, all I wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms. We needed to talk about the current issues we were dealing with, but we could do that tomorrow, or later today, however, you want to look at it. I was starting to drift, fighting myself to keep my eyes open, when Dimitri's phone rang, Eddie's ringtone playing through the speaker. It was now eight a.m. on Monday, he wasn't due back to work until this afternoon, why would he be calling him?

"Belikov...Yeah, we got back last night….What is it….Okay, send me the address, I'll be en route shortly," he signed off.

"What was that about?"

He looked apprehensive to tell me, but I gave him my trademark "don't lie" look, with a heavy sigh he filled me in on the other half of the conversation.

"There was a burglary last night, the suspect left a message for me at the scene."

"What kind of message?" my voice wavered as the question passed my lips.

"I don't know, he said I needed to respond and see it. Don't worry, Roza, I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"You will tell me when you get home, right?"

He paused, not wanting to agree without knowing what it said or even what it was. He didn't want to say yes before he knew exactly what it was. Which is precisely why I asked him now. I want him to tell me no matter what, good or bad, I want to be beside him for it.

"Yes, but I can't say you will like the answer."

"I know," I lowered my head.

Finishing getting dressed, he pressed a kiss to my hair and headed out the door. Sending out my daily prayer, I laid back in bed and thought about everything that has transpired over the last week. The photos and gifts I received, the threat Dimitri got, and the new one this morning, lastly Misha's dreams. Anyone who ever said life and love is easy must never have had to deal with things like this. Needing an escape from reality, I opened the photobook I made Dimitri when he was in college. It held all our old childhood photos, wedding, honeymoon, everything. Flipping through our lives, I remember all we have been through. So many trials we have overcome. We will overcome this too, no matter what. Reaching the back, one of the pictures fell out. I reached down to pick it up, my heart stopped for a moment as I looked into a pair of ocean blue eyes. I didn't even know this picture was still in here. I would have thought he had thrown it away. Looking at it again, I saw another face, very similar to the one in the photo. The kid who delivered the flowers to my house.

His little brother, Nathan.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

"Good morning, Belikov, did you have a good weekend?" Emil asked.

Thinking about the two nights Rose and I spent in Houston, the shows, the food, the sex…

"Yeah, it was amazing. What's going on here?"

"Homeowners just arrived back from vacation, found the back door had been broken. A few items were taken from the bedroom and a pistol from the closet, but that isn't what has me concerned." he led me in the direction of the kitchen.

Stolen firearms were always a concern, you don't steal a gun without the intent to use it. Knowing that the suspect was related to what is going on with Rose and I, the thought of him now being armed did nothing to relax my already tense muscles. I clenched my jaw in preparation for what he was going to show me. I figured it would be another threat, but the words he chose, they way he phrased it, I was surprised my teeth didn't break under the pressure.

 _Did you know an officer is killed in the line of duty every 53 hours? Interesting fact, don't you think Officer Belikov? How many hours do you have left?_

I read and re-read the words, studying the handwriting, trying to see any hint that might just tell me something about this person. I did notice, the writing was different from that of the note left on my patrol unit. It may just be that writing on the board caused the difference, honestly, I hoped for that, but something about it seemed different too. His first message was simple, not a direct threat, but rather something to make me overthink. This one, however, was plain and simple, he planned to kill me.

"Belikov," Eddie called from the living room.

"Yes, Sargent."

Following him we walked out to the front yard, Eddie keeping his head down, a look of deep thought, and remorse maybe, covered his features. I waited patiently for him to say something, anything, to help me.

"Look, Dimitri, I know what has been going on with Rose, but what is going on with you?"

"At the last game, someone left a note on my car, this weekend I found out who it was," he lifted a brow, "Ben's little brother."

"What does he have against you?"

"Nothing, he is doing what Ben tells him to."

His eyes went a little wide, I forgot to mention that. I filled him in and let him know what we found out this weekend with the profile Abe had. Rose had once told me that Ben had a younger brother who had always looked up to him. Even after all these years, I was surprised to remember that tidbit of information but glad that I could. If I can find a trail on him, I will find Ben. I find Ben, I find who else is aiming at me.

"I don't think this was done by them though, it feels different, and the handwriting isn't the same."

"Do you think it is someone connected to them, or working alone?"

I hadn't considered it being seperate, it seemed far fetched to believe there was another person after me, though not impossible. But who and why? What did I do for someone to want to end my life? I can count on one hand the number of people I have crossed in my entire life. None of which I would peg for being involved with this.

"I'm not sure," I finally said.

"You know I have to tell Chief about this, right?"

"I know, what do you think she will do?"

"The most likely outcome, she will pull you off the street. She doesn't take to kindly to this kind of thing."

That is the last thing I wanted, but in the end, I don't get a choice. In retrospect, I could use that time to research and find out what has been going on with Ben since Kentucky, but I didn't like the idea of hiding from these people. I wasn't afraid of them, I wasn't worried about them coming after me, I was furious that they thought they could. That they would choose to attack my family, blood, and badge, to get to me. When I found them, I would make them feel every ounce of fear Rose has felt, every bit of pain I can come up with, they will pay.

Eddie made the phone call to Chief and I was instructed to report to her immediately. Calling Rose on my way to the station I filled her in on what we found, telling her exactly what was written. As expected, she was terrified for me. I really hadn't wanted to tell her, but I knew there was no chance of keeping it to myself. She wanted us to be open and honest, I wanted that too, so I would whether she liked it or not. Which I was pretty sure right now, she was not liking it at all.

Dragging myself down the hall, I paused before knocking on Chief's door. Slowly lifting a fist, I gave three quick raps and waited to be called.

"Enter."

"Chief Petrov, You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, Belikov, take a seat please," she wore a tight smile, her tone not angry, but not upbeat either. "Care to fill me in on the ongoings with you?"

I took my seat and braced myself for the story I would tell. How far back should I go? Kentucky? Florida? Last Week only? In the end, I told her everything, working backward. Explaining the notes I received today and last Thursday, and the people behind it and our history. She soaked up the information, her face impassive as I continued with the drawn out tale that is my life.

"So this is payback?"

"Yes ma'am, I would believe so, though I understand him targeting my wife, I don't understand why he wants to harm me."

After the words left my mouth, I realized that may have sounded bad. I didn't like the fact Rose was being targeted, but I know why he wants her.

"The way it sounds, you stand in his way, he has to rid of you. The profile your Father-in-law received, that was from the FBI?" I nodded, "Were they involved with the original case?"

"No ma'am, Rose's mother used to work with them, they did it as a favor to her father. We were able to figure it out quickly once they gave it to us, but we still don't know where he is or who all is working with him."

She nodded thoughtfully, "You already know whats going to happen now, right?"

"I am going to desk duty."

It wasn't a question, I knew, though I didn't like or agree with it.

"Yes, I want you to stay within the confines of this building for at least two weeks, depending if he reaches out or something else happens. You will spend that time getting to know your dispatchers, taking walk in reports and entering warrants and other TCIC articles." (Texas Crime Information Center)

Great, I am a glorified secretary.

Making myself a cup of coffee and grabbing a chocolate donut from the briefing room, I entered the dispatch floor. I was taken aback by the amount of technology in this room. Computers and radio boards everywhere. Many TV's lined the walls, some showing the news, weather and things of that nature, others had reality shows and sports events. I guess they need something to entertain them. I have never met any of our dispatchers, only a voice over the air waves. So you can understand my surprise when I spotted a familiar face, though she was quite different than I remember. Her raven black hair wasn't flowing and long like it used to be, she cut it into a pixie style. Her blue eyes that I used to hate to look at, gleamed with pride and love as she spoke on the radio. Her skin was tan, not the typical pale I was used to. There was also a long scar running down one side of her face, when and how did that happen? She seemed happy though, which considering the last time I saw her she was in a nuthouse, was baffling.

"Dimka!"

"Tasha! I didn't know you worked here," I gave her a small hug.

"I started almost five years ago, but I normally work the midnight shift, they just moved me to days."

That explains how I never heard her, I have been on days since I started. After everything that happened between us, I was glad to see she was doing better. Rose would freak out if she knew Tasha was a dispatcher. In a good way though, she and Tasha actually became really good friends for a while when I was gone. They helped each other work through some of the dark days.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel weird…" she trailed off.

"Hey, all of that is in the past, you look like you have been doing well."

"I am, thank you. Ethan plays a huge role in that though," she smiled wide.

"Detective Moore?"

"Yes, we have been seeing each other for a few years now."

"Wow," I didn't know what to say to that really. Detective Moore was about ten years older than us and a very stoic man. Not someone I would really see her with, but hey, if she is happy and not chasing me, I am ecstatic for them.

"So, Chief just emailed me and you will be shadowing me for a few weeks, you okay with that?"

"Yes, not like I have a choice either way, but if I have to endure the torture of desk duty, I am glad I have a friend for a partner."

"Well come on then, let me show you the behind the scenes tour," she chuckled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, it seemed easy enough.

I take it back, how do these people do this job? It takes a certain level of insanity to be a dispatcher. I was ready to beg Petrov to let me back on the street, certainly being hunted and threatened was easier than this. Six computers you had to monitor, answering emergency calls and radios at the same time. All while keeping track of thirty plus officers and fifteen different fire crews. Breaks were non-existent, other than lunch, and it seemed the phone never stopped ringing. The radio traffic was constant and Tasha's hands flew across the keyboard at a rapid rate. Typing a hundred words a minute, searching suspect information in five different systems and documenting everything. This brought multi-tasking to a whole new level. I couldn't do it. Not to mention the strain of keeping track of all of us. I could see the frustration in her when a unit didn't answer or update her on their location. We had one call that she dispatched and I could see the fear cover her face. Why was she worried, she is safe in here. When she explained that her only job is to make sure we stay safe, I understood. Being behind a desk not able to do anything more than send additional help, most of the time coming too late, is unbearable. That's why I didn't want to be in here, but I appreciate what they go through and do for us.

They are definitely not secretaries and it is not easy, at all.

Tasha and I spent the down time, which wasn't much, catching up on our lives. I told her all the joys of playing Major League ball and my family. She gushed endlessly over all the pictures of my children. She told me about her time in the psychiatric facility, her and Ethan and how she got the scar.

"About six years ago, I was heading home from work and this guy tried to mug me. I had taken to training in martial arts after I got out of the facility and was able to fight, but he had a knife and got me pretty good."

"I'm so sorry, that must have been awful."

"It looked worse than it felt. I almost relapsed because I thought, how can anyone love a face like this. Ethan was the Detective on my case, he helped me through and told me about here, so I applied and when I got hired he continued to look out for me."

"At least something wonderful came of it, right, you seem really happy," I gave her a rare full smile, in which she returned.

"I am, thank you. Now, it's break time, you headed anywhere for lunch?"

The rest of the day passed pretty quickly, I was off and back home by six. With switching to desk duty, I would go onto Tasha schedule for the next few weeks. In a way, it was nice, they work twelve hour days, but have more days off. Taking it with a grain of salt, I would enjoy the extra time I get to spend with Roza and the kids, even if it is only for a few weeks. Walking in my front door, I could hear Misha laughing at something on the TV. He looked over at me, smiling and turned back to his cartoons. Rose and Sasha were in the kitchen getting dinner ready, I kissed them both and went to strip off my uniform.

I opened the closet door to store my utility belt, finding a sticky note attached below the rack.

 _Some people wait their whole lives to meet their hero, I married mine._

 _I love you, Comrade._

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. She really was the most amazing woman in the whole world, and she is all mine. After the morning and day I had, this was the best gift anyone could give. So simple, yet meant the world to me. I changed and headed back downstairs. Rose was still in the kitchen, I went straight to her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind.

Placing a kiss on her neck, I whispered in her ear, "I love you too, Roza, but you are the true hero."

* * *

A/N: A little filler chapter to set the pace for the next phase. What do you guys think? Share your thoughts and let me know.


	9. Chapter Eight

_**I own nothing but the plot and the OC!**_

 _ **Chapter Eight**_

 _ **RPOV**_

" _How long were you going to keep it from me?"_

Animosity coated my words, I was more than upset, I was seething. When the realization struck me that Ben's brother was involved with this, I called my father. I needed to know what his game was, what he wanted from me. If he knew I was responsible for his brother's death, I would assume he wanted revenge. What I wasn't prepared for was Dad telling me Ben was alive after all. That changes everything.

"Rosemarie, do not take that tone with me. I did what I believed was best for everyone," his voice lowered as he spoke with a grit.

"Why does everyone want to make choices for me?"

"It may not have turned out the way I intended, but I promise I had your best interest at heart."

"Obviously, Old Man, there is no telling what he is capable of now."

"He will not get to you, do you understand? I, nor Dimitri, will let him," he barked.

"You both failed before," by this point I was screaming.

Okay, so that was a low blow, I know, but I was beyond angry and unable to stop the word vomit. The silence on the line was tense, I could hear him breathing deeply as if he was trying to calm himself and find the right words.

"Kizim, I know this is difficult, but we only did what we thought was best. We had some details to figure out and we wanted to do that before reopening old wounds."

A light knock on my door silenced my next remark. I had both the kids laying down for naps, but one of them had woken with my yelling.

"Mama?" Misha poked his head in, "Are you okay?"

"Baba, let me call you back," I rang off and motioned Misha in the room.

"I am fine baby, sorry I woke you," I kissed his hair, pulling him into my lap.

"I wasn't asleep," he whispered.

"Why not?"

"I'm not tired," he said simply, but I knew there would be more to it than that, he just won't talk to me about it.

"How about we go watch a movie together, or you can get your school work done so you can watch TV later."

"School."

I chuckled at him, he gets his love of learning from Dimitri. I would have taken a movie over school work in a heartbeat. I set him up with his sight words and letters, taking the time now to get some writing done. I had two artists contact me last week and I have yet to get started on the songs for them. I put one headphone in and started playing around with the beat. The first wanted a song about overcoming obstacles, distance and overall love. Thinking about everything Dimitri and I had been through, the words flowed as quickly as the beat.

 _Do you feel the same when I'm away from you?_

 _Do you know the line that I'd walk for you?_

 _We could turn around, or we could give it up_

 _But we'll take what comes, take what comes_

 _Oh, the storm is raging against us now  
_

 _If you're afraid of falling, then don't look down  
_

 _But we took the step, and we took the leap  
_

 _A_ _nd we'll take what comes, take what comes_

In a matter of the hour, I had the lyrics complete and the music not far behind it. Overall, I was satisfied with the result. Uploading it to my SoundCloud, I emailed it to the label and would wait to hear back from them.

Writing has always been my outlet, anytime I was dealing with something, I would get it out on paper. Finishing the first and thinking about the next one, I was calming down from the information Dad had given me. I was still upset about being lied too, but the way I chose to see it was I can keep being angry over something I can't change, or I can focus on how to make it better. I chose the latter, there is no point in staying angry. I inwardly laughed at the thought, when did I become the rational one?

By the time I finished my second song it was five o'clock. Sasha had woken up and started her afternoon studies, Misha had finished his and was watching TV in the living room. I guess I checked out for a while, I never heard either of them move around. Cleaning up my office, I began dinner, seasoned chicken with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob.

Peeling the potatoes for them to boil, I let my mind wander back into uncharted territory. Ben is alive and is coming after me, and he isn't alone this time. All these years I thought he was dead, I had shot and killed him, but that was a lie. Now he has his little brother helping him, who I know nothing about, but if he's anything like Ben he could be just as dangerous. I was willing to let go that Dad had kept it from me, but I was worried about what would happen now. Did Dimitri know about any of this? Dad kept saying "we" earlier, was he talking about Dimitri? Were they able to find any other information on him to help us? Was the threat Dimitri got this morning Ben telling him he planned to kill him, and soon?

I think that is what worried me most. Ben was willing to go to extreme lengths to take and hide me away. Adding on the events that followed that, he would be vengeful, relentless, and desperate to finish what he started all those years ago. Granted, we are stronger and smarter than we were back then, but someone in a psychotic break can and will do rash things.

Sasha came to help me mash the potatoes and I was just pulling the chicken out of the oven when Dimitri got home. He gave me a quick kiss and made his way up the stairs to change. I left him a note in the closet, hoping to make him smile after a long day. Even if I had been upset about the bomb Dad dropped on me today, and the possibility that Dimitri was in on it, I still wanted to make him happy. He had told me Chief would likely pull him from his beat, and considering he is home early, I would assume that is exactly what happened.

When he came back down, he was wearing a black T-shirt, hugging tight to his chest and an old pair of jeans, faded with an unknown number of washes. He looked good enough to eat, but I would have some words before then. Wrapping his arms around my waist he whispered in my ear, "I love you too, Roza, but you are the true hero", I almost smacked him. Almost. One part of me loved that he would say that, but the other was cross with knowing he was hiding something. I would bait him later and see if he fesses to know about Ben.

We were halfway through dinner, the conversation was light as Dimitri talked to the children about their day. Sasha was in the middle of telling him about a book she was reading when his phone started ringing. Misha, ever so helpful, jumped from the table to grab it for him and answered it.

"Papa, it's Tasha, do you want to talk to her?"

I gave an attempt at raising a brow to him, since when are him and Tasha friends? He took the phone and I listened intently to his half of the conversation.

"Everything okay...Alright, can I call you back later, we are in the middle of dinner…Okay, I'll ring you later, bye."

"Tasha," I gave him a questioning stare.

"Yes, turns out she is a dispatcher. She just moved to days so I never heard her before today. She wanted to let me know about something that was going on and thought it might be of interest."

He said the last part with an open look, there was more to it but he didn't want to talk until we were alone. I gave him a single nod and finished my dinner.

I tucked Misha into bed, Dimitri taking care of Sasha. We both changed into our sleepwear and went back to the living room for our quiet time. Settling into our normal routine and relaxing on the couch, I gave him a minute to collect his thoughts. He knew I was going to hound him about the day and Tasha's phone call. Even if she and I had been friends, her randomly showing back up in his life worried me. I hope she was over her crazy obsession with him.

"I should call her back before it gets late, I really need to know what is going on that she knows."

"Did you tell her about everything?"

"No, she is dating one of the Detectives, he had some cases he was telling her about and she thinks it might be related."

I nodded and pulled out a book. Listening to his side of the conversation, questions were forming rapidly in my head. I could make out a few words from her, but not much, when he finished his call, I closed my book and looked back at him.

"Apparently Detective Moore has been tracking a small group that has been burglarizing the prominent neighborhoods. It's outside of my beat, so I wasn't aware of them being connected, but it seems to be the same people. They steal jewelry, and cash, never leaving a trace of who they are."

"How is that connected to us?"

"For one, one of them broke into a house last night and left that message. Two, they would have to get money from somewhere. I doubt they have jobs or a savings fund to drain."

I couldn't help but notice he was keeping names out of it, he said "they" or "them", even though I was pretty sure he knew who it was.

"Have you gotten any closer to figuring out who it is?" Hook.

"I have a theory, but I don't know how practical it is."

"That would be?" Line.

He took a deep breath, "I think Ben's little brother is the one leaving the gifts and letters."

"Why would he do that though?" Sinker.

He paused, his eyes closed and he inhaled and held it for a moment, breathing out he whispered, "Because Ben is telling him to."

Reel it in, by God, he actually told me. I for sure thought he would beat around the bush or keep hiding. When I didn't say anything, he looked at me confused.

"Why aren't you freaking out?"

"This morning after you left, I was going through our photobook. I saw a picture of me and Ben from Destin, putting two and two together, I realized the kid who brought the flowers was his brother. So I called Baba, he told me about the profile and how Ben never died."

"And he told me to keep it from you, hypocrite," he mumbled.

"Well I'm sure he would have, had I not drug it out of him. I asked a lot of questions before he confessed."

"How are you feeling?"

"Scared. Pissed. Relieved."

"Relieved?"

"I didn't kill someone, I always thought I had, but I didn't. That burden is gone now, even if he is still after me, at least I wasn't the reason behind his death."

"Again, finding the silver lining in the worst scenario, you are amazing, Milaya."

"So was she able to give you any idea as to who the other people involved are? How many are there?"

"From what Moore is saying, there is three. The younger two I assume is Ben and his brother, the other is a much older man, but they don't have a good description of him."

"Do you think it could be his Dad or an Uncle or something like that?"

"I don't know, did he ever mention them to you?"

I thought back, many many years, he told me his father served in the Military, but nothing after that. He only had the one brother and never mentioned any extended family. He grew up in a small town and left when he joined the Army.

"No, just the brother, Nathan."

"I am going to do some research on them, hopefully, something will turn up there."

"Sounds good...So do you want to go to bed early?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"You sure you're up for that, Milaya, not still sore?" his voice took on a husky tone.

I moved to straddle his waist, running my fingers through his hair and pulling back slightly. I gave his lips a gentle kiss, not letting him push further.

"I mean, if you don't want to, we can sit here for a while."

I pushed my hips down to his, I could already feel him hardening, his eyes twin pools of lust.

"Don't start something you don't intend to finish, Roza," he mimicked my words for a few weeks ago.

"Oh, I fully intend on finishing, Comrade, before you if I have it my way."

* * *

 _ **START M SCENE**_

Running his hands up the outside of my thighs he pushed the oversized shirt I wore up to bunch at my hips. I had purposely put on one of his old Rangers T-shirts tonight, knowing it would go down to my knees and he wouldn't know that I had nothing on underneath until I wanted him to.

"Oh, Roza," he growled.

Once he realized I was not wearing any panties, one hand went straight to my core, the other continuing up my side, fiding I was not wearing a bra either. He gave another low growl, pushing a finger into me and roughly palming my breast with the other. I brought my lips back down to his, my hands running through his silk-like hair.

He shuttered under my fingers as I drug them down his chest to his bulge, rubbing him through the soft cotton of his sweatpants. The softest of moans escaping him, taking advantage, I pushed my tongue passed his open lips, dancing with his. My hips rocking with the steady ministrations of his fingers inside of me. Adding another he curled them forward, hitting my G spot. I pulled back and let out a breathy moan.

"We have to be really quite, Milaya, you know Sasha hears everything," he whispered, though I could hear the desire and desperation in his voice.

I nodded and pulled him out of his pants, I wanted him inside me, now. Pulling his fingers from me, he shifted further down on the couch, partly reclining and making his legs into a chair like an angle. Resting one hand on his shoulder, I rubbed him against my soaked slit, before guiding him into me. Both of us let out a soft moan as I sunk fully onto his large member. I continually checked the stairs, making sure neither of our children was waking up and seeing us. I knew we should be in our room, with the door locked, but I needed him, wanted him and I was not waiting.

I glided up and down, rolling my hips in a circular motion, as I brought my mouth back to his. It was slow, non-dominating and absolutely amazing. Dimitri brought his hand in between us, using his thumb to circle my clit. I could feel my peak coming, my body was starting to tighten up.

"Dimitri.."

"Let go, Roza, I'm right behind you," he breathed out roughly.

A few more circles on my clit and I clinched down on him. Bringing both hands to my hips, he lifted me slightly and began to thrust quickly, riding out my orgasm and sparking his. He slammed me back down tight to his body as he shuttered with his release. I could feel him pulsing and his hot seed squirting into me.

 _ **End M Scene**_

* * *

We were both breathing heavily, coming down from our highs, but we sobered up quickly at the sound of our son screaming.

"PAPA!"

I was off of Dimitri in a second, he had righted himself and bounded up the stairs to Misha's room. I followed behind a few seconds later, standing just outside the door to hear what was going on.

"It is just a dream, Misha," Dimitri consoled.

"Can I sleep with you and Mama?"

"Of course."

Dimitri walked out with Misha in his arms, I rubbed my boy's back and kissed his head. Dimitri laid him down and we both headed to the bathroom to clean up. Taking my chance, I asked him what happened.

"The shooting again, he keeps having the same dream."

"Should we maybe look into a child counselor or something for him?"

"We need to do something, he can't keep going on like this, it's not healthy."

"I'll check into it tomorrow, let's get some sleep."

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

Roza was taking this all so well, I was surprised. She wasn't freaking out, getting angry or anything. She was calm, way too calm if you ask me. I hope she isn't bottling all of her emotions, that will only lead to a road of destruction in time.

Spending the morning part of my shift, I looked into every lead of Benjamin and Nathan Rieves I could find. Ben appeared to have disappeared off the grid somewhere in Michigan after the ordeal in Kentucky. Nathan, well he showed a lot more promise. Up until two months ago, he was working at the mall in Missoula, Montana. He was a bright kid, no arrest record and had an academic scholarship to Penn State, which he declined in 2018. Around the time that Ben had been "killed". He graduated and got the job at the mall, he had been there since then. If I could get in contact with his friends and family, they may be able to provide some insight to his abrupt departure. There was still the matter of the third person involved, but I was confident if I could get a lead on these two, I could find the third rather easy.

After lunch, I went to sit with Tasha on the dispatch console. After yesterday I tried to prepare myself for the hell I would be in for today. Plugging into her headset, so I could hear the radio traffic, we started the day with a Cardiac Arrest call. That was something new to me, hearing the caller in that situation was intense. Usually, I would arrive on the scene and pull the caller out of the room, they were calm by the time I got there. I now know why our dispatcher has helped them get through the pain and bring them down to a level where they can help the person. I listened to Tasha talk to the seventy-five-year-old man, trying to get him to perform CPR on his wife of fifty years. In the back of my mind, I knew it would do no good, but it gave the caller a little bit of hope to hold on to. In the end, I guess that is what mattered most, helping them and giving them the tiniest bit of relief in the situation.

The hours passed slowly, several traffic stops called out by various units. A few decent calls, thefts, and fights, but nothing major. However, nothing in the world could have prepared me for the final call we would deal with today. A colleague of mine, Neil Raymond, called out on a welfare concern.

"3801, show me in the 100 block of Allison, checking on a male limping down the street."

"3801, Received, advise if another unit is needed," Tasha keyed the radio and put him on a call.

In the blink of an eye, the whole world shifted. Raymond's radio keyed up and he was yelling at the male.

"SHOW ME YOUR HANDS… ** _POP POP POP…"_**

I looked at Tasha, her eyes wide, but her hands and voice didn't falter. She typed notes in the call and keyed up to have additional units en route to him, code of course. I stood up and moved to head to my unit, but Tasha grabbed my arm.

"You can't go, you're not allowed on the street, sit down."

"How can you tell me to sit down when my brother has been shot at?" I screamed.

Several other dispatchers looked over to me, you could see the tears welling in the eyes of every single one of them. My own included.

"The same way I have to sit here and help him. I would give the world to be able to run out there and save him, but I can't. _Now_ _sit down Dimka._ "

I did as she said, staring at the computer screen where a red glow was covering the map. Units responded lights and sirens to assist our brother. The radio keyed again, his voice barely a whisper.

"White Male, Mid fifties..*cough*... Brown hair...Six foot..*cough cough*..has an accent...north.."

The transmission stopped.

Tasha typed the description into the system, re-transmitting what he said for everyone responding, just in case they couldn't hear him. My leg was bouncing up and down, unable to stop. I hadn't even realized that she had dispatched EMS to the scene until I heard them call out. I held my breath, praying he would be okay, praying they got there fast enough to save him. Several other units were calling out, checking the area for the suspect. None of them found him, he disappeared into thin air.

Minutes felt like hours, the waiting unbearable. A voice I was very familiar with, a voice I grew up hearing, spoke through the airwaves confirming my worst fear.

"2210, show 3801 end of watch," Eddie's voice wavered.

"Received at 1723 hours, 3801 end of watch," Tasha choked on the last three words.

The three words we never want to hear cross the radio. I placed my head in my hands, shaking violently, as the tears fell freely from my eyes. Tasha placed a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see her own tears. Without a thought, I pulled her to me, wrapping her tight in my arms, holding onto something, anything of the living world. I don't know how long we stayed like that, a units traffic finally breaking us apart. She responded to the officer and turned to tell me I could go home.

"Aren't you off, too?"

"Yeah, but I will stay to finish this call. I won't leave until my last unit clears code four."

"So will I."

My phone rang several times, but I paid no mind to the vibration. My thoughts were consumed by the loss of a friend, a brother. He has a wife and two children, they will never see him again. The realization of just how dangerous our job is settled in. That could have been me, I could have been the one gunned down on the street for simply wanting to make sure the man wasn't in need of help. Rose could have been the one to get the phone call, my children could be the ones left to grow up without their father. It has always been in the back of my mind, but now it was at the forefront and all I could think about. Even with the revelation of it, I would still be coming into work tomorrow, I would still go back to my beat in a week or so and serve. I would honor him by continuing the job he loved. The job he died doing.

"You should answer her before she has a conniption. I know when Ethan doesn't answer I worry ten times more," Tasha whispered.

I nodded and headed out the door toward the parking lot to called Rose back.

"Comrade! Are you okay, I have tried to call you like fifty times!"

"I am fine, Roza. Can't get hurt working the desk," I chuckled, desperately trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"What's wrong, you should have been home hours ago."

"We had a major call, I'm staying to see it through."

"Okay, will you be home soon, or you don't know?"

"Shouldn't be too long now, most of it is over."

"Okay, I will leave a plate in the oven for you. I love you, Dimitri."

"I love you too, Roza, so-so much," the tears began to fall again.

"Are you sure you're okay?" her own tone forlorn.

"I will be."

Wiping my face, I went back inside just as Eddie cleared. Being the Sergeant on shift he stayed until everything was settled. Tasha told me to go home and get some rest. We would still be working tomorrow, six a.m. I gave her another hug and headed to the house.

I sat in my car for another half hour before I walked inside. It was now after nine p.m, the kids would be asleep, but Rose was likely to still be awake and waiting. Had she heard? I'm sure it was already playing on the news, Eddie had advised the media was on scene about an hour into the call. Taking one last deep breath, I got out of the car and walked through my front door. Letting out that breath, I relaxed, I am home, safe and sound.

"Comrade?" Roza whispered I could hear the sobs in her throat. She knew.

I just looked at her, sitting on the couch the news playing on the TV. She looked at me with such sorrow, able to tell how my day has been. She opened her arms for me, half laying down on the couch, I wrapped my arms around her waist as she ran her hands through my hair. Shushing me and singing softly. She didn't ask questions, though I knew she had a ton, she didn't even talk really, just kept singing softly as I let more tears fall.

I do not cry often, you know this, but this hurt. My colleagues are my family, I felt like my flesh and blood was taken from me today. My heart hurting as much as when Rose was taken. Only this time, I know I will not find him alive and well, I will never talk to him again. This is the first person I have ever lost in my life, how do you handle it?

"Why don't you go take a hot shower and I will reheat your dinner?"

"Thank you, but I am not hungry, I think I will shower and head to bed."

She nodded softly as I got up to go to the bedroom. I heard her move around in the kitchen before I closed the door and stripped my shield. Standing under the scalding spray, I let the grief take over.

You know how they say there are five stages of grief; denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. I was definitely in denial, I didn't want to accept the fact that he was gone. There was a gaping hole in my heart, one that no one can fill. Then depression, It's hard to explain, the feeling of losing someone like that. He may not have been a blood relative or a lifelong friend, but he was my brother. We spent many nights enjoying cold drinks and swapping war stories with each other. He watched my back in dangerous situations, making sure I made it home every night. His life was stripped away, for what? That is what got me the most, why it happened, which brought on the anger. Anger at the coward that took his life, at the way it went down, at myself. I couldn't protect him, I couldn't save him.

I know I wasn't on the beat when it happened, but that doesn't stop you from thinking you should have done something. It doesn't make it any easier to process and accept the fact that you had no chance of making a difference in the situation.

I was in the shower longer than I had intended to be, Rose came in the bathroom to check on me.

"Dimitri? Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I cleared my throat, "Sorry, I'll be out in a minute."

She waited for me, with my towel wrapped around my hips, I sat down on the bed. Coming to stand in front of me, guessing my internal battle.

"You know, there is nothing you could have done, Dimitri."

"I know, but I will always feel like I failed in some way."

"There are some things you just can't control, this is one of them. You had no idea something like this would happen, no one did and nothing would have stopped it."

I processed her words, letting them fully sink in, she was right, but no matter, I still feel guilty. I get to keep living, keep going and he doesn't.

"It's not fair," I cried.

Rose wrapped her arms around my neck, mine going around her waist, allowing me to cry into her chest as she rubbed my back. I hated letting my guard down, I didn't like to feel vulnerable anymore, but in the arms of my wife, I was the biggest baby in the world.

* * *

Author's Note:

This Chapter is dedicated to Police Chief Lee Dixon, 3801, End of Watch June 19, 2014

This was extremely hard to write, going back down that road was very difficult, but necessary for the story. I was the dispatcher who logged unit 3801 end of watch for the last time. I worked with him numerous times and he was a very kind man. I don't mean to ramble or depress anyone, but this is an unfair reality in our world. Chief was trying to check on someone who was causing fear in their neighbors by walking around with a gun, that person, in turn, took his life. It was sudden and unexpected. I will never forget that day. So this one is for you Chief, know that you are missed and never forgotten.

Song used: Walking The Wire: Imagine Dragons (I don't own that either)


	10. Chapter Nine

_**Thank you for all of the heartfelt reviews,**_ _ **As always, R &R and I don't own anything but the plot.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Ten**_

 _ **RPOV**_

"Are you ready, Dimitri?"

I stood in the doorway, he was looking at himself in the mirror. His dress blues pressed and his badge glimmering in the sunlight coming through the window. He tied his hair back at the nape of his neck, combed perfectly so it wouldn't fall free around his face. His eyes were already showing the severe signs of fatigue, heavy bags hung underneath. The light that was normally ever-present had vanished. A blue cord wrapped around his right shoulder and white gloves covered his large hands, signaling him as Honor Guard. He would be one of the six to carry Neil to rest, to fold his flag and fire three of the 21 shots. He was honored to do it, but I knew it was killing him inside. The last few nights he hasn't slept more than an hour at a time, waking in cold sweats and screaming for Neil to breathe again. I have tried to comfort him, but he doesn't seem to want that. So today, I will tread carefully, hoping I don't do anything to cause added stress.

"Dad and Suzanne just left with the kids, so whenever you are ready, I will be downstairs."

I waited on the couch, smoothing the skirt of my dress over and over again. I have never been to an Officers funeral before, so I could only hope I looked appropriate. I chose a sleeveless black lace dress, with a blue underskirt falling just below my knees, and a black shaw. I left my face bare of makeup, knowing I would cry it off anyways, and my hair down, falling in natural soft waves to my waist.

Running my clammy palms over the skirt one more time, I heard the door open to our room. Dimitri finally made his way down, to anyone else, he looked dashing in his blues, strong and resilient, but to someone like me who knew him so well, he looked sullen, completely broken. He had his mask securely in place, the damn poker face I have always hated, but could see right through. His eyes met mine, they didn't sparkle or show the slightest bit of love they always did, they were empty.

"You look beautiful, Roza," his voice devoid of any emotion.

I was actually taken aback by the despondent tone he held. Unable to form words, I simply nodded my thanks and headed out to his patrol car. Today would be hard for all of us, Dimitri on the Guard and Mason and I are singing a memorial song I wrote. I felt blessed that they had chosen me to do this for him and his family, but at the same time, I was terrified. I wasn't sure I could make it through the whole song without crying, I hadn't yet. Mase and I practiced it a hundred times in the last day and a half, each time I shed more tears.

The doors of the city center opened, it had to be held here because so many people were attending a church wouldn't hold everyone, the room was full of men and women in blue and tan. So many different patches covered the floor. As far as Maryland and wide as California, all these people turned out to celebrate one man's life, honor his sacrifice. It blew me away to see how many people came to pay respects to someone they didn't know. I understand his department, they knew him, were his family and friends, but there were a lot of people he never met here today. I guess this thing they call "The Thin Blue Line" stretches a lot further than I ever thought.

I was understanding more about this life Dimitri chose, with the help of Mason and Celeste, it was starting to make sense. I just didn't realize how big this system is, how many people are in the same situation I am. If they can make it, so can I, I hope.

The services started and before I knew, I was being signaled to take the stage with Mason. Looking around, I felt like I was back in my nightmare. Everything here looked much like it did when I watched Dimitri's "funeral". Pushing those thoughts away, I looked at Mason. He gave me a smile, whispering that I would be fine, and the music started.

 _ **(Mason is Bold, Rose is Italics, Both in Regular Print)**_

 **A cup of coffee and one more kiss**

 **Before I walk out the door**

 **You said I love you a thousand times**

 **I still say love you more**

 **You pull me close and you hold me tight**

 **Hoping it won't be the last time**

 **Then you tell me please be safe**

 **As you watch me walk away**

When it's late in the night and your closing your eyes

To say your bedtime prayers

Holding back your tears

Waging wars on your fears

Wishing I could only be there

I could be saving a life or losing one

It's just the nature of the beast

But when you Sirens

Don't worry for me

 _Those voices call on the radio_

 _So I have to be on my way_

 _Wish I could stay here beside you_

 _Just taking in your face but_

 _I made a promise and took a vow_

 _And there's a stranger that needs me now_

 _And if my baby boy should wake_

 _Tell him I will keep him safe_

But When it's late in the night and

your closing your eyes

To say your bedtime prayers

Holding back your tears

Waging wars on your fears

Wishing I could only be there

I could be saving a life or losing one

It's just the nature of the beast

But when you Sirens

Don't worry for me

Don't worry, yeaahh

 **We had no way of knowing it**

When we said goodbye that day

We took an oath to be running in

While others ran away

 _It's been awhile since you've seen my face_

 **Rested safely in my embrace**

Oh, but when you think of me

I am wrapped in heavens peace

When it's late in the night and

your closing your eyes

To say your bedtime prayers

Wipe away your tears and

when you feel me near

Hold on tight I'll always be near

 _Always be near_

This is a perfect world I'm living in

And I can't wait for you to see

 **But When you hear sirens**

 _Oh when you hear sirens, my love_

 **When you hear sirens**

 _Sirens..._

 **Remember me**

 _Oh Remember me_

Oh Remember me

There was not a dry eye in the entire room, including my own. I didn't blubber like a baby, but a few traitors made it out. Hanging my microphone back on the stand, I caught Dimitri's gaze. I already knew he would cry, he did when he heard Mase and I rehearse, but seeing his face now, every fiber of me hurt for him.

I think he was beating himself up so much because he wasn't on the road when it happened. With the threats against him and our family, Chief had pulled him the day before the shooting. He strongly believes he would have made a difference if he had been there, but I am not convinced. From what Mason told me, there would have been no chance to save him. One bullet pierced his neck, severing the artery, he went quickly. Luckily, he was able to provide something of a description before he passed, even if the suspect was long gone before anyone got there.

Tasha performed the last call for Neil, I have to give her credit. She sounded so confident, and strong, I would never have been able to do that. I never heard one before, other than the one in my dreams, a frigid chill settled over my skin as his name was paged. Knowing there would be no answer, something about it left a cold feeling in my heart. I kept imagining the day they call for Dimitri. The silence on the other end as they called him over and over. The dispatcher that would handle it. Would it be someone he knew, someone he worked with and trusted? Would it really matter?

When Tasha finished, everyone and thing were silent, only the sound of sobs from several people broke through the tension. The guns rang out, twenty-one shots were fired and _Amazing Grace_ played on the bagpipes. It was over.

"Dad said they could keep the kids if you wanted to go have dinner and a quiet night in?"

"I just want to go home, I'm not really in the mood to go out."

I didn't know it was possible for him to be more emotionless than he was this morning. Continuing to walk on eggshells, I nodded and climbed into his cruiser.

* * *

**Break**

The next two weeks continued the same way. I walked on eggshells around him, attempting to talk to him every day only to be pushed further away. I was ready to give up, though the mixture of Hathaway and Muzar blood didn't allow me too, at least not yet. I tried thinking of ways to get him out of his shell, the funk he has sunk himself into. Since he was on desk duty we had extra time together, so we did a few family outings. Based off of his body language, since he still wasn't talking much, he was miserable. Sasha was so excited at the zoo, but Dimitri seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but there. His face stayed in his cold mask, not even breaking for his children. Misha kept asking me what was wrong with his Papa, I didn't know what to say. I told him his heart was still hurting, but that he would be okay. Misha being the loving little boy he is, clung to his Papa, telling him he loves him over and over again. Dimitri smiled at him, but it didn't reach his eyes and honestly looked forced as hell.

I was starting to worry I had lost my Comrade with Neil. The man I married is not the man lying in bed next to me. The man I married was strong, confident, passionate, loving and courageous. He was funny, always making me smile, and joyful always had an air around him that just made you happy being in his presence. The man lying next to me was cold, defeated, resentful and above all, distant. He wouldn't let anyone in, not me, not the kids, not even his Mama, no one.

My biggest fear in the world was losing Dimitri in his line of work. Getting the phone call or knock at the door to tell me my husband has been killed and I will never see him again. Never hold him, make love to him, simply sit and talk to him. I never dreamed I would lose him while he is still alive.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

After the funeral for Raymond, I stuck to my desk schedule with Tasha. She helped me make the inquires for Ben and Nathan, checking different systems that I didn't even know about. We also looked into Moore's burglary cases to try and find any significance to what they stole or the houses they hit. Nothing. On the only bright side, neither Rose or I have received any other notes or gifts. It seemed they are laying low, for the time being, something must have happened between the three to make them pull back. Abe had said the sand that was sent to his house was probably an accident, maybe that slip up has them worried. I hope so. If they are questioning each other or already making menial mistakes, it's only a matter of time before they are caught.

The last two weeks, I was on autopilot, counting down the hours until I was back on the road. I was tired of sitting behind a damn desk. I was no use to anyone there, I needed to be out on the street. I needed the physical activity to drown out the mental battle I was fighting every day. I still blame myself for his death. If I would have been out there, I could have done something, anything, to help him. I could have made a difference. But thanks to the psycho that is after my wife, I am stuck in an office until Chief deems me "safe" to return to real work.

I stood in front of Rose's floor length mirror, staring at a man I didn't recognize in the reflection. His eyes were dull, not the normal warm chocolate that I see in my daughter, but more like a puddle of mud. Dark circles laid underneath with heavy bags, almost like a black eye. His skin was pale, laking signs of life and happiness. Hair that was normally silky and shining in the sunlight, was lackluster and oily. Lastly, his body language, once so confident in the uniform that deemed him a protector, was defeated. His shoulders slumped forward and his frame appeared smaller. He was not the confident, headstrong superhero anymore. He was a man with a heavy burden weighing him down, defeat and depression hanging over his head.

"Dimitri?"

I saw Rose standing in the door from the corner of the mirror, her face sullen. Catching her eye, she walked toward me to wrap her small arms around my waist.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

What is the meaning of "Okay", is there really an answer to that? I wasn't okay, far from okay, but I didn't want her to know how badly I was hurting.

"Once I'm out there it will get easier. It has been hard sitting in the dugout," rolling over it, I shrugged off her concern.

I didn't deserve her worry, her love and affection, I deserved nothing. She must have felt my body start to tense because she let go and took a few steps back. I turned around to meet her eyes, I don't know what she saw in mine, but tears welled quickly in hers. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I wanted to tell her everything would be okay, but that would be a lie. I wanted to tell her I love her, but my voice wouldn't let me. I wanted to let her in, but my heart was guarded and that bitch was not coming down anytime soon. I couldn't afford to let anyone in, only to have them see how destroyed I really am.

"I have to go, Eddie wants to meet with me before the briefing," my voice sounded foreign to my own ears.

"Okay, please be safe."

"Always am."

I drove in silence, no music, not even turning on my car radio to hear what was presently going on in the city. I needed the twenty-minute drive to collect my thoughts, to push the bad ones away and focus on my task at hand. When I pulled into the parking lot, Eddie and Mason were waiting for me.

"Everything alright," I looked between them.

"Yeah, I just wanted to touch base with you both before the briefing. You are two of the best units I have, so I need you in sector fourteen today."

"Why?" Mase and I asked at the same time.

Sector fourteen was a low-class area, poverty-stricken and not much for activity. Half of the houses on the block were abandoned and the ones that were occupied were elderly couples that have lived there for decades.

Eddie looked around, making sure we were alone and no one would overhear.

"We believe the person who shot Neil is squatting in that area."

"Do you know who it was?" my hope shot up.

"No, but the dash cam footage caught a Blue Chevy Malibu picking up the suspect seconds after the shooting, it has been spotted several times in the area before. It's a newer model with no damage, it doesn't belong there. We are still working on getting his body cam footage, it was damaged."

"Did we find out who the car belonged to?" Mason questioned.

"We traced it back to a rental company, but we have to get a judge to sign off on a warrant for them to release any information. We should have it in a few days. In the meantime, you two will stay in that area, you are not to leave unless there is a priority call that needs attending. I want you to watch the streets and see if you can find anything out of the ordinary. Radio me for all inquiries you make. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Mase and I spoke in unison.

Great, I get back on the road and now we are sitting around doing nothing. For half a second I wished to be back on the desk, then I thought better of it. At least being out here I can help if needed. Besides, dispatching is tough work, I would rather be out here trapped in my thoughts, then in there unable to move if needed.

"You can take the undercover, pick up the keys from the motor pool."

We headed inside and sat through the briefing, not much to report so it was quick. There was no mention of Raymond's suspect's location or about Mason and I on special assignment. We made our way through the department to pick up the undercover unit. I was surprised to be handed the keys to a brand new Dodge Charger in Jet Black. I thought to myself, this will stick out like a sore thumb in that neighborhood, even with ghost graphics on it.

"Do you have any that are older, a caprice maybe," I asked.

"Dude," Mase smacked my arm.

"What? You really think we will blend in with that?"

"No, but it's a bad ass car," he whisper-yelled.

"Maybe next time," I shrugged.

The older male returned, a scowl on his face, he really hates his job I guess. I thanked him and took the old Chevy keys. The car he gave us was parked at the very back end of our lot, dirt covered it in a thick layer. When I said older I didn't mean the Flintstone age, but as long as it runs I won't complain. Turning it over, the engine came to life, hiccuping a few times before it settled into a dull roar. Mase just looked at me, he was not excited about driving around in this heap. Honestly, neither was I, it smelt like stale McDonalds and horrible body odor, but we needed to blend in.

We drove around for a while, not finding the blue Malibu that Eddie described. Stopping to grab a bite, we parked ourselves on the end of Sunset St, concealed in the shadows. Mason broke the silence first.

"How is Rose doing? I know this whole thing must have been hard on her."

"She seems to be okay, I guess."

"You two are talking, right? Not keeping things bottled up?"

"What does it matter," I snapped.

"Hey, I am just trying to help, you shouldn't keep your emotions locked up. From one officer to another, that is signing your own death certificate."

"I am fine, Rose is fine, everyone is fine, okay," my voice grew darker with each word.

"Sure you are," Mase spoke under his breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He set his food on the dash, turning in his seat to look straight at me.

"Listen, Dimitri, She didn't want me to say anything but I am going to anyways. You are being a complete and utter jackass. We _all_ lost Neil, not just you! Rose has tried to talk to you and you push her away at every instance. She feels like she is walking around on pins and needles around you, and the kids see it too. Mikey keeps asking her what is wrong with you and she is running out of excuses to tell him. Pull your head out of your ass and man up. Yes, losing him sucked, for everyone, but do you think this is how he would want anyone to act in his memory. Do you think he wants you sulking over the fact that you couldn't save him?" he paused to breathe, giving me a chance to say something, but I had nothing. "Let me tell you something Belikov, _nothing would have saved him_ , get that. Grow a fucking pair and be the man she married, the man she has loved her whole life!"

I sat back in the seat, my head spinning in a whirlwind. Has it really been that bad?

"Look, I understand needing time to process and understand what happened, but you can't keep pushing everyone that loves you away. We care about you and we want to see you get back to your old self."

"You care about me, you were chewing my ass two seconds ago."

"Tough love, Partner. I only said it because no one else will. Rose is too scared she will set off the ticking time bomb in your head, and your family is worried you will fall into a spell like _he_ did."

"What they think I will turn into a drunk and beat Rose?" the idea of that was insane, I would never do something like that.

"You wouldn't be the first, it happens all the time in this job. Some of the best, the ones everyone thought would never do it, did. You let your guilt and anger get the better of you. Go home and have a beer, then one turns into three, then six and the cycle doesn't stop there."

" _I am not my father_ ," disdain dripped from my lips. I loathe that man, I will never turn into him.

"Prove it."

He picked up his sandwich and started eating again, leaving me to think about everything he said. Maybe I have been too self-absorbed in what happened with Neil, I knew I shouldn't blame myself, but for some reason, I couldn't let it go. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me it was all my fault. There was a constant nagging voice in my head that blamed me for all things bad in the world. I needed to find a way to shut it up or things will just get worse. I refused to become like him. I would never, _never_ , hurt my wife like he did. Then again, does it matter if it is a physical or emotional pain? Am I already becoming him by pushing her away? Making her feel like she can't walk without me going apeshit on her? Am I turning into my father?

Then, the fact that Mason knew everything that was going on at home, everything that I have been doing. Rose has been talking and confiding in him for everything, when it should be me she confides in. How did I get to this point? How could I let things get this bad?

"I will, I will fix it."

"Good, you two need to find a balance, because honestly, I think she is…" he stopped, realizing he was about to say something he didn't mean to.

"She is what?" the world stopped moving, my heart stopped beating, the air leaving my lungs in one foul swoosh as he spoke his next words.

He sighed heavily, "Ready to leave."

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

Song Used: Sirens (feat. Nikki Dee) · Joe Banua (I don't own it, but the link is on my facebook if you want to hear it, it's amazing)

Please don't hate me, I promise there is a reason for it.

With that said, please leave your thoughts and review. I love hearing from you all! Next update probably won't be until Sunday, I have a very busy week/weekend coming up!

Much love, Katarina


	11. Chapter Ten

_**Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful Mama's! I praise you all because I don't know how you do it some days. I have no kids of my own, so I can't say I understand the struggle you go through, but I know it can't be easy some days. So hats off to all of you!**_

 _ **Now for the good stuff! This one is set a little different, each POV takes place before the one prior.**_

 _ **As Always, I own nothing but the plot and the OC, all credit goes to R. Mead!**_

 _ **R &R and Enjoy! **_

* * *

_**Chapter Ten**_

 _ **DPOV**_

 _Dear Comrade,_

 _I know some days are worse than others, today must be one of the worst for you to open this. I don't know what happened, and I don't know if you will tell me about it, but there are three things I want you to know. First, I want to tell you how much I love you. Since we were kids you have been my everything, giving me all the love I never deserved. I can not imagine a better husband or father of my children. You will forever be my always Comrade, no matter what life brings us. Second, I need you to know how proud of you I am. You are a real-life superhero. From chasing your dreams of playing in the majors to coming back home and being with the kids, then joining the Academy and becoming my very own Batman, I would say Superman, but I like Batman more. You have overcome so many challenges to get where you are, you never stop fighting, for that, I couldn't be prouder. Third, I want you to know no matter how low you get, I will always be there to help you back up. When you look back and see no one there, look down beside you, that is where I will always be. Sasha and Misha too. We love you so much Papa, remember that on days like today. You will never fight alone, not if I can help it._

I read the words time and time again. After the ass chewing Mason gave me, I was ashamed of myself. I let my grief ruin my marriage, well almost, she hasn't left yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time. When we got back to the station, I went in my locker and pulled out the letters Rose had written a few weeks ago, finding the one titled, "Open when you feel all hope is lost". Sitting on the bench, I traced her writing with my finger, feeling the indentation of her heavy hand.

"Belikov," Eddie called, bringing me up from the downward spiral my mind was in.

"Yes, Sarge?"

"We got the signed warrant, did you want to go with me to check it out?"

I was exhausted, sitting in a car may not have been physically tiring, but mentally I was drained. Hours of boredom and Mason's chat, all I wanted was to go home and sleep, but I wouldn't. I wanted to know who rented the car, confirm or deny my suspicions.

"Let's go."

Eddie showed the manager of the company our warrant and he immediately looked up the information for the vehicle. The results that he found, well they were helpful, but not in the way we had hoped for. Looking at the name on the contract, Eddie gave me a questioning stare.

"Well, I guess we know who rented it. Only one person would be stupid enough to put it in my name."

"Ben," he wasn't asking, he was stating a fact.

"Do you have security cameras?" the manager shook his head, "Well, the only way to prove it is him is to find him. What address does he have?"

Clicking a few more screens, he pulled up the driver's license and home of record they had on file. Again proving to be no help at all.

"He sure is thorough," Eddie commented.

"You can say that again my birthday, address, even my middle name. How did he find all of that?"

"He already knew your address, but as for your birthday and middle name, I have no idea."

"So we are no closer to catching him than we were yesterday, the only thing we have to go off of is the vehicle description," I was growing frustrated, both at Ben and myself.

"Can you track the car? Does it have a GPS?"

"Most of our units do, I would have to check," the young man tapped away on his keyboard, "Looks like this one doesn't, but I do have a phone number on him, would you like me to call him? I can tell him the vehicle has a recall and needs to be brought in."

"That's probably fake too, he wouldn't give you his actual number," Eddie remarked, turning to me, "We're just going to have to keep looking for him."

"We have been doing that for weeks now, what else will happen before we find him?"

"Think positive, we will catch him, I promise, Dimitri."

I scoffed and walked out of the rental office. We have no lead, other than a car description. I mentally laughed at the irony. When he took Rose, we knew who it was immediately, but had no vehicle description, this time it was the opposite. He was toying with me, he knew I would find out he was the one behind everything. He wanted me to come after him, he was baiting me, playing on my emotional state and hoping I messed up. Realizing that set off a whole nother dimension of anger. If I get my hands on him, I will not lock him up, I will not show mercy, I will kill him.

As we drove back to the station, neither of us spoke a word. I was out of the car as soon as he shifted into park and climbed into my unit to head home. I was exhausted and needed sleep. When I got home, Rose's car was gone. She wouldn't leave without saying something, would she? Were we already passed the point of no return? I ran through the house looking for her, for signs that she left, everything looked the same, nothing was missing. I tried to call her a few times, but it went to voicemail. My first thought was she didn't leave voluntarily, but her car was gone so she must have. I called Abe, Pavel, Mason and my Mama, no one had talked to her today. _Don't panic just yet._ I walked through the house again, checking each of the kid's rooms, the main areas of the house and finally our room and bathroom. When I turned to leave the bathroom, something red on the mirror caught my eye.

 _ **Comrade, going to Lissa's for the day, figured after your first shift on nights,**_

 _ **you could use peaceful sleep. I love you!**_

I let out a sigh of relief, she doesn't get a signal at Lissa's house.

Coming home to find an empty house, my wife and kids gone, was like a cold bucket of water. If I didn't change my ways, that would be my reality soon enough. Mason was right, I was being a jackass and I needed to stop. I would be the man she fell in love with fifteen years ago, the man she married. I will not turn into _him_.

I changed and showered, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. For the first time since the shooting, I slept without nightmares. I had finally accepted that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't have done anything to save him. Once I let that guilt go, I slept better than I have in over a year.

I woke around four p.m, eight straight hours. I felt refreshed, rejuvenated and most of all, at peace. The house was still quiet, so Rose must still be at Lissa's. I checked my phone just to make sure I hadn't missed a call or anything from her and got up for the day. Cooking eggs and bacon for breakfast, it was a weird feeling to eat breakfast at four in the afternoon, but I guess I should get used to it for a while. I ate, cleaned up and watched a little TV. It was now after six, Rose still wasn't home. I called her again, voicemail. Trying Lissa next, she answered after only two rings. Rose had left her house an hour ago, they lived thirty minutes away, with traffic she should be home soon. I rang off with Liss and waited some more.

Another thirty minutes passed and they still weren't home, I tried again to reach her on the phone, still no answer. I was beginning to worry, did they get into an accident, did something happen on the way home? I was just about to call the department and see if anything had been reported when I heard the car door outside. I practically sprinted, reaching the door as Rose pulled Misha out of his seat.

She was smiling, until she looked at me, her face fell instantly. I don't know what expression I had plastered on, but it must have scared her.

"What's wrong?" her voice tentative.

"Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" my words came out with more venom than I intended.

"I left you a note, we were at Liss's."

"And your phone?"

"It never rang. You know I don't get service out there."

I took a few calming breaths, there was no point in fighting with her about it, she is home now that is all that mattered.

"Sorry, I was just worried. Did you guys have a good day?"

"Yeah," she said surprised.

I don't think she expected me to talk to her at all, why would she, I haven't in weeks. We walked into the house and I wrapped her up in my arms. Missing the feeling of her flesh against mine, the feel of her hair running through my fingers, the way she smelled, all of it.

"Are you okay, Comrade?" she chuckled.

"Never better, Roza," I gave her a full smile.

I said I would fix this and I will. I will court her, remind her of why she fell in love with me in the first place. Starting tomorrow, because right now, I had to get ready for my shift.

Night shift ran from nine p.m to six a.m, I honestly would be okay with it, if Eddie didn't have Mase and I driving around in circles chasing a ghost. All the exciting calls happen at night, robberies, shootings, fights, but I don't get to participate in any of it. Which in a way I guess is good, the less I got into the less Rose would worry. I got Sasha ready for bed, she was overjoyed that I was there to read to her. My heart hurt when she told me she was glad her Papa was back because she had missed him. I pushed away more than just Rose and I hated myself for it.

Rose sat on the end of the bed watching me get dressed. While she was putting Misha down I put something in the bed, hopefully, she doesn't see it until I am gone. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but kept her lips sealed. Her eyes followed my movements like she was waiting for me to snap or something.

"What is it, Rose?" I locked eyes with her through the mirror.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"For the last two weeks you have shown no emotion, no love, care, not even anger, you have just been...empty. Now you seem like a switch was flipped and you are back to your old self?"

"Mase talked to me last night, he opened my eyes to how I have been acting. I honestly didn't realize how bad I was. Then this morning, I opened one of your letters. I decided it was time to stop wallowing in self-pity, blaming myself for something I couldn't control."

Her jaw was on the floor, she looked at me like I had grown a second head.

"I am sorry for everything, Roza. The way I have been acting, pushing you and the kids away, I didn't mean too. I just didn't know how to cope with what happened. I know I didn't handle it very well and you took the brunt of it."

"Yeah," she whispered.

I glanced at my watch, it was eight thirty, "Roza, I got to go, but I promise we will talk more tomorrow. I love you, Milaya, and I will do everything I can to make up for being such an ass."

"I love you, too, Comrade, please be safe."

I gave her a lingering kiss, reluctant to pull away and headed off to work.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

"You can only avoid this conversation for so long, Rose. What happened?"

I took a deep breath, "Well…", I told her everything. Dimitri being shot at, the calls he had been dealing with, Neil's shooting, the threats. How he had shut down and wouldn't show the slightest bit of emotion. How I felt I was walking on thin ice whenever he was home. Everything. She didn't interrupt or even make any snide faces, very un-Lissa like.

"So you want to run?"

"Why do you say it like that!? I don't know what else to do?"

"Did you talk to him, even try?"

"I did at first, but he keeps shutting me out, I wasn't going to keep trying to get the same result. You know that's what they classify insanity as right? Doing the same thing expecting different outcomes. I can't do it."

"So what does this mean for you guys? Are you filing for a divorce?"

"I don't see any other way," I whispered.

She made a face and went to stirring something on the stove.

"What's that look for?"

"Nothing, I just don't get it, but it's your life."

"What don't you get? I am tired of this life, I want a different one."

"You two have been dating since you were thirteen, fifteen years Rose, you have been through hell, why let this be the thing that breaks you. I know his job is tough, but you guys have dealt with some pretty bad shit, you want to run away because your scared of what might happen, instead of standing by him and loving him until you can't anymore. For lack of better words, you'd be a major bitch to walk out on him like that, and taking his kids, how can you _not_ see a problem there?"

I stared at her gobsmacked, Lissa never cussed for one, for two, she was right. It is a bitch move up and run, but I tried to talk to him, I tried to figure things out over the last week. Nothing, I came up with nothing.

"Maybe fifteen years is all we have in us," tears flowed down my cheeks.

"Only if you let it be. That man loves you more than anything on this earth, well other than those two in there," we looked at my babies, "he would do anything for you, Rose, don't give up on him when he wouldn't give up on you."

"I know you're right, but I really don't know how much longer I can handle this."

"Until your heart stops beating, fight beside him Rose, not against him."

The way she phrased that, I remember writing to Dimitri, telling him I would always be beside him. I wonder if he has had to open that one yet.

We stayed at Lissa's for dinner, heading home just after. I hoped Dimitri was able to sleep today, I felt so bad that he had to work nights now. Plus he hasn't slept since, well you know, and he was starting to look comatose. I pulled out of Lissa's drive taking my normal route back to the house. They lived in a farmhouse on the outskirts of Arlington, a little town called Keller. Christian inherited the house when his parents passed a few years back. Halfway home, I noticed the Blue Chevy that had been behind me for a while, making every turn and lane change I was. They flashed their lights at me, trying to gain my attention, I kept driving.

"Mama, you need to talk to him," Misha said out of nowhere.

I looked at him in the rearview, how on earth did he know who it is and what they want? Sasha looked at her brother with the same expression I had but didn't say anything. I pulled over into a parking lot, he mimicked me and came to a stop. I watched in the side view mirror as a young man got out of the driver's seat, a man I had seen before. I almost stepped on the gas, but he held his hands up and yelled for me.

"I only want to talk Rose, I promise I don't want to hurt you."

My heart rate picked up as he got closer to the car. Misha said I should talk to him, but I am not trusting a four-year-old with visions right now. I threw the car in drive and punched the gas to the floor. The V8 engine roared and the tires squealed as I bolted from the parking lot. He stayed standing outside his car, watching me leave. He looked sad, maybe he really didn't want to hurt me. Maybe he was trying to tell me something about Ben. I was intrigued, but not enough to stop and talk to him with my kids in the car.

"He could have helped, Mama, you should have talked to him," Misha said.

"What do you mean?"

"Things will only get worse now."

I tried not to let it show just how deep those six words frightened me.

When we got home, the look on Dimitri's face, I was sure he was going to explode for me not answering my phone. Not only don't I get service at Lissa's house, but I put it on silent while I was driving. I didn't want to talk to anyone or be bothered on my way home. I needed to think about my talk with Liss. I was not prepared for him to let it go so quickly and ask about my day. He has not shown an ounce of emotion in the last few weeks, now he seems like nothing ever happened. Don't get me wrong, I love that he is talking to me, but I can't help but wonder if this is temporary, or forced. He assured me he would make up for pushing me away, but I was still leery about it. His moods switched way too fast for me to keep up with.

I kissed him goodnight and went to wash away the day. Misha's warning steadily played in my mind, what did he mean it will only get worse. Should I have risked myself and my children to talk to Nathan? Was he not the bad guy here, but just stuck somehow? I couldn't risk it, I couldn't risk them. I needed to tell Dimitri or Mason, someone about him, but I was nervous too. If Mase finally broke through to Dimitri, I don't want to set him back. I decided to give it a few days, see if he reaches out again, then I would let Dimitri in.

Climbing in bed, I could smell Dimitri on the sheets. His aftershave coating the soft linen in a piney scent. I rolled to his side, breathing in deeply. There was a crinkle sound under the blanket, pulling it back I saw a piece of paper.

 _Sleep tight, My Love,_

 _Know that I am always with you and will keep you safe tonight._

 _I love you, Roza._

Under the paper was a shirt he bought in Grand Cayman, on our honeymoon. It was my favorite of all of his shirts, I love Cayman the most of all the places we went. It was also the port we were leaving when Dimitri and I made love for the first time. He chose this shirt on purpose. We were both so scared and nervous that night, but he showed me so much love and attention. I pulled the shirt to my chest, inhaling the smell of my husband with a face-splitting grin and drifted into dreamless sleep.

* * *

 _ **NPOV(Nathan)**_

"You killed a cop! Do you know what they will do to us when they find out?"

I was freaking out both inside and out, I felt like I would be sick. Ben said we were going to scare her, toy with her and my part would be done. He never said I would have to aid in murder!

"They are not going to find out, do you hear me? I swear if you bitch out and snitch you will wish they would have been the ones to find you." I have never heard his voice so sinister, "and technically, I didn't kill him, the old man did."

"Still, you were in on it." I mumbled, turning to face him, "What is going on, Ben? I thought this was just about getting to Rose?"

"It is, for me."

"Then why go after him?"

"He wants too, which helps me out in the end, so I am all for it." he shrugged like this was just a business deal.

Which in a way, I guess it was. I thought the lengths he was going to before were extreme, following her every move, the flowers, and gifts, all the bullshit just to scare her. I didn't get it, I mean yeah, she is beautiful and I am sure she is a great person, but why is he so obsessed with her. When he came home from his trip to Florida all those years back, he seemed happier, like something great had happened. After his wife left him, I worried I would never get my brother back. I was young, maybe 13 or so when it happened so I didn't understand what made him change. It wasn't for another few years that I found out about Rose. He said she had called him, leaving her boyfriend and wanted to be with him. That's why he took off for Tennessee. Another year went by with no words from him, then he came home for a brief moment, maybe a week and left again. A few months later he turned up at my work, beaten badly and said he needed a place to stay for a while.

One day I came home and he was gone again, leaving a note about some place in Michigan that he read about and wanted to go to. He said he had to hide from a group of people that were after him, and he would come back when he was safe. I hadn't seen or heard from him in five years. When he came home for the last time, he told me he needed my help. If I would have known exactly what it was that he was doing, I never would have agreed. I should have known better, I should have checked into his history with Rose a lot sooner.

"I need some air, I'll be back later," I called over my shoulder.

He said something back, but I was already closing the door behind me. I needed away from here, away from him. I drove around aimlessly, trying to clear my head and figure out a way out of this. I couldn't turn him in, he was my flesh and blood, but could I let him endangered so many people all because of one girl? One girl that I still wasn't sure what happened with to make him like this.

Curiosity got the better of me, I googled her.

Article after article popped up, music related ones from songs she had written for a major artist, a few school postings, finally a police blotter from 2018. _Woman kidnapped from Coffee Shop._ The article had everything about Rose listed, her full name, age, height, last clothing, everything. I continued to scan down the article until I found, what I already suspected in the back of my mind, the suspect description. Benjamin James Rieves.

A few weeks later, there was a follow-up article, she had been found by Dimitri and her father. My brother was nowhere to be found when the police went back to the house he kept her at. Details of what occurred where minimal, but you could guess by what they did include. This is why he came home beaten within an inch of life. This is why he ran away. He kidnapped and molested her.

And I am helping him torture her all over again.

The knot in my stomach grew until I could no longer hold in my lunch. I was disgusted with my brother, but more so with myself. Why did I agree to this? How could I keep helping him knowing what he did, what he plans to do? I couldn't do this anymore. I will take whatever heat the cops want to give me, but I can't keep going on with this.

I just hope they will protect me from him. He will surely kill me if he finds out I turned my back on him.

* * *

Author's Note:

What do you think guys? A little look into the mind of Nathan, and Dimitri coming to terms with what happened, making a change.

Leave your thoughts in the reviews and again, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's! Even if mine is the best, I'm sure y'all are pretty awesome too.


	12. Chapter Eleven

_**Thank you all for the new reviews, faves and follows. You guys are amazing!**_

 _ **This one is a little shorter, but chalk full of goodies! Enjoy and as always R &R, lets hit 80 before the next chapter, which I plan for Wednesday or Thursday updates. Check out the clothing descriptions on my facebook, follow me while you are at it, the link is in my bio and the intro. **_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and OC!_**

* * *

 _ **Chapter Eleven**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"Are you sure you don't mind, Mama?"

"Of course not, Dimka, I love spending time with them anyways. You and Roza go have fun," she gave me a wink and went to pull dinner out of the oven.

"Thank you, call me if you need anything," I gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head and walked back home.

Sasha and Misha were out back playing in the yard with Paul, Zoya, and Katya, so I hurriedly made my way out before they could notice me leave. Normally, they had no problem with staying at babushkas house, but with the way things have been lately, they don't like being anywhere I am not. More Sasha than Misha, she is very much Papa's girl and has been clinging to me when I am home. I really messed up over the last few weeks.

I knew no amount of material gifts would make up for me pushing my family away, but I had planned on spoiling them all. Starting with Rose tonight, reservations at an elite steakhouse, a night of dancing under the stars at the city park concert and hopefully many hours of love making at home. Mama would have the kids until tomorrow afternoon, so we have almost twenty-four hours to be alone together.

Opening the front door, I could hear the music blaring through the house. Rose must be getting dressed. She used to love listening to music when she would get ready to go out, but with the kids, she hardly had the chance to take her time and relax. I could hear her singing as I got closer to the bedroom, turning the knob, I found it locked. Knocking loudly to be heard over the music, Rose yelled I wasn't allowed in.

"I have to get ready too you know," I chuckled.

"You clothes are in Misha's room and you shower stuff is in their bathroom," she laughed back.

I shook my head, a grin still on my face, and went to get dressed in my son's room. When I told her I had a surprise planned and she got to get dressed up, she was over the moon. Telling me I would drop when I saw her tonight. I couldn't wait.

Rose decided to dress me tonight, which I was fine with her choice. Black slacks, a blue button down and a striped blue and black tie, topping it off with my new duster she bought a few months back. I showered, shaved, combed my hair and dressed, Rose still wasn't ready. I adjusted the straps of my over the shoulder holster that I preferred to the concealed hip sleeves. I looked at my watch, we had a little over half an hour to get to the restaurant, it was about fifteen minutes away, but in Arlington traffic, it would take us every minute we had left.

"Roza, we're going to be…" my words caught in my throat.

Rose stood at the top of the staircase, my eyes raked over her body, my pants growing tighter with each pass my eyes made. Her hair was half up, half down, falling just below her shoulder blades. It looked full and silky, the hint of red shining in the sunlight coming through the window. Her eyes were big and bright, a blue and black eyeshadow and liner making them appear darker but yet, lively. Simple gloss coated her full lips, and a light powder on her face smoothed whatever imperfection she found tonight. Normally she doesn't wear any makeup, she never really needed it, but all stops were pulled out tonight.

Moving down from her face, she wore a little, and I mean little, black dress. It dipped low in the front, showing far more cleavage than I wanted anyone else to see. Lace sleeves covered her shoulders, clasping behind her neck, but the back of the dress was open. Her entire back, from her neck to the base of her spine, was exposed, with lace embroidering on the sides, hugging her curves just right. The bottom of the dress stopped above her mid-thigh, leaving nothing to the imagination of what lies just above. Four-inch strappy black heels brought her just under my height, her head now level with my shoulder.

"Don't forget to breathe, Comrade," she laughed.

She now stood in front of me, one stair from the bottom so she looked right into my eyes.

"Kind of hard too, when you rob me of it," I whispered.

"Are you going to arrest me for that, officer?" her eyes already clouding with lust and desire.

"You get a warning this time, Ma'am, but next time you will be cuffed and searched...very thoroughly," my accent thickened, I wanted to take her right back up those stairs.

I brought my hand up to her face, not wanting to mar the perfection of her makeup, I stopped myself before cupping her cheek. Instead, I moved it behind her neck and brought her lips to mine. The taste of her cherry lip gloss lit my soul on fire, the feel of her soft lips against mine felt like home. I pulled back, not wanting to ruin what took hours to complete, but we also needed to leave, like now. I stuck out my elbow and escorted her to the truck.

Pulling into the restaurant, Rose's eyes went wide.

"Pappas! This is the number one steakhouse in the city, how did you get a reservation?"

It was no easy feat, but during my Rookie year, they had a robbery and I took the report and caught the suspect. The owner told me anytime I wanted a table it was mine. Plus, he was a huge Rangers fan, so I got the guys to help me with some memorabilia to seal the deal.

"Officer Secrets."

Dinner was going wonderfully, but if we didn't stop eating, neither of us would be able to move at the concert. I had a twelve-ounce sirloin, roasted asparagus, and salad. Rose enjoyed a nine-ounce filet mignon, with loaded mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables. Desert was a double chocolate brownie the size of a softball, with ice cream, chocolate syrup drizzled on everything. It was heavenly, but I felt like I was going to go into diabetic shock, Rose looked much the same.

Finally able to walk out to the truck, we were running half an hour behind for the concert, though it was far from over. There were several different bands and solo performances scheduled for tonight. She has actually written for some of them. I hoped for one of them to sing one tonight, I want her to see that people love her songs, even if she isn't the one singing them.

Walking into the stage grounds, I locked eyes with several of the officers patrolling the area. Giving a silent acknowledgment to them, letting them know I see them and will be at their back if needed. Instinctively, my hand found my badge resting on the inside of my duster, my gun secure under my left arm. We walked around for a while, listening to whoever was playing and checking out some of the vendors that were scattered around. I was looking at a knife set, thinking about buying it for Mason as a thank you gift when the shrill scream of my Roza drew my attention. I withdrew my pistol from my holster and turned around to see what happened. The sight before me is not one I had expected, seeing how neither of them told me they were coming home.

"What are you doing here?" Rose asked, hugging both of them.

"It's offseason for me, and Vika didn't have any active cases, so here we are," Ivan answered.

Ivan was still playing ball, now on the Los Angeles roster, while Viktoria was a prominent lawyer for several big names in Hollywood. We haven't seen them in almost a year, since last Christmas, so this was a nice surprise.

"You can put that away, Dimka," Vika laughed.

My right hand still held tightly to the iron grip of my pistol. I tucked it away and embraced my baby sister.

"Where are my adorable niece and nephew tonight," she looked up to me.

"With Mama, are you staying long?"

"For now we plan to stay until the new year, but if something comes up.."

"You have to go, I get it," I finished for her.

I understood better than most, her job may not be like mine in danger, but it carried the same demand. When they call, you answer, no questions or conflicts.

"Well, we will not crash your date night, but we should do dinner sometime this week, call me, okay," Vika told Rose.

We all hugged each other again, plans for next week already started between the woman. Ivan and I just sat back and let them do what they do best. When the left, I went back and bought the knife set for Mason, even though I owe him well more than a simple gift. Rose watched the stage with awe, I could see the desire and dream she held to be there one day.

"One day, Roza, that will be you," I whispered in her ear, wrapping my arms around her from behind.

"I'm too old for that now," she laughed.

"You're twenty-eight, you have a lot of life left, my love," kissing her head, I spun her around to face me, "Do you want to head home, or hang out here a little longer?"

He eyes darkened, "Home," she whispered, bringing her arms around my neck, pulling me to her.

She nipped my bottom lip, a low growl escaped my lips, her tongue traced the spot she bit and I opened up to her. Letting her control the tempo of the kiss. It didn't last long before someone broke us apart.

"Get a room you two, jeez," Mason laughed.

"We have one, and are headed there now, thank you, Officer," Rose smirked, grabbing my hand, she led me out of the park. Mason laughed harder as I turned back and gave him a smirk of my own. We hadn't been together since before the shooting, I was desperate for her.

 _ *****Start M Scene*****_

Our twenty-minute drive home felt like hours, Rose would not stop pushing my limits, in a good way. I was trying to focus on the road ahead of me, desperately trying to get home and pleasure my wife until the sun came up. Rose, however, didn't want to wait until we were behind closed doors. She lay across the front seat, her head in my lap, licking and sucking on my raging erection. This woman will surely be the death of me, I couldn't keep my eyes from dipping down to watch her caress me.

Using my extra reach, I ran my hand down her exposed back, finding the end of her dress and pulled it up. Palming her firm backside, I drew back and gave her a quick slap. She moaned around me, causing a shiver to run through my body at the sensation. I smacked her again, hoping for another moan, wanting to feel that shiver again, but what I got had me cursing in both languages. As my hand connected with her ass, she drove all the way down on me, my cock hitting the back of her throat. She has never deep throated me like that, the feeling was new and un-fucking-believable. Pushing her backside up, I ran my fingers in between her thighs.

"Fuck sake, Roza," I growled, she had no panties on.

I coated my fingers in her arousal, flicking the tip of my middle finger over her bud before finding a home in her sweet heat. Moaning against me again, I growled and pushed another finger in her. I wished I could devour her beautiful slit while she was doing this to me, but I will settle for what I can get, for now. I wanted to try something new with her tonight, I planned to wait till we were home, but now seemed like a good time to test her reaction. Withdrawing my fingers from her, I brought them to my mouth, I needed a taste of her first. I moaned as her musky, yet sweet scent filled my scenes and taste buds.

I pushed a finger back into her, coating it again, bringing it back out I ran it up her slit to her ass. We had never tried it before, but I wanted to, for a while, but I never pushed the topic. I always let her tell me what she wanted, but right now, I was in control. Slowly I massaged her ass, gently pushing against the tight hole, but not pushing in. She gasped and pushed her hips further into the air. She wanted it. Running my middle finger down her slit again, I got it slicked and ready for her. Ever so gently, I penetrated the last part of her body, claiming it as my own. Granted I claimed her for myself nine years ago, but this was a new spot. She released my cock from her mouth, but continued to stroke me, letting out a breathy moan as I pushed and pulled in and out. Her eyes were wide, lust swirling around in the brown iris. She looked at me with awe, I chuckled, this was only a finger, how would she feel with me there. Rocking her hips in time with my fingers, I pushed harder.

"Do you like that, Roza?"

"Uh huh.." she breathed out.

My fingers we getting dry, I pulled out and rewetted them with her fluid, driving them back in as soon as they were ready. I lifted my hips slightly, motioning for her to go back to sucking my dick. She obeyed and sucked roughly. I wanted to grab her head, slam my cock in her pretty little mouth, but one hand was still occupied with the steering wheel and the other was giving her pleasure, I was stuck.

I looked around on the road, somehow I managed to get onto the interstate, which at this time was pretty deserted, but was in no way the direction of our home. I took the first exit I could find and pulled over into an empty parking lot. I threw the truck in park and grabbed a fistful of her hair. She knew what was coming and relaxed her jaw, I could feel the extra room she just made in her cheeks. I held her tightly, driving my cock into her throat as deep as I could, while never stopping the steady pace of my fingers in her ass. I was so close, a few more thrust and I would explode. I let go of her hair, giving her the control for what was coming, me. I felt my cock twitch, the pulsing of my orgasm racking my whole body. I withdrew my fingers from her again, moving my hand under her to massage her clit. My hand moved quickly over her bud, her legs started to shake. She pulled up from swallowing my seed and looked at me. My hand never stopped moving on her, I shifted over in the seat, so I now sat in the middle of the old bench. Following my lead, Rose straddled my legs, sinking down on me in one swift move. Even after the orgasm I just had, I was still hard and ready for her.

I let her control the tempo on top, moving to rub her with my thumb now, my other hand finding home in her dark locks. Bringing her mouth to mine I relished in the taste of myself on her lips. The salty essence of my cum lingered on her lips and tongue. She picked up her pace, bouncing up and down at a rapid speed. I felt her walls start to close down, she was screaming into my mouth, begging for release. I pulled her hair back, detaching her from my mouth and sunk my teeth into the hollow of her neck. She let go the moment I bit down, screaming my name. I, however, was not done with her. Gripping her hips tightly I thrust into her from underneath, annihilating her pussy until she begged me to stop. I heard a lot of fucks, and a few other curses leave her lips, but never a stop.

"I'm….cum….again…" Rose managed.

"Come on, Roza," I growled.

I was on the verge of my second as well, but I wanted her to get there before me, or with me. I didn't know if I could hold out much longer though, she was so wet, so warm and so god damn beautiful bouncing on my dick. Her lips were parted and full from the rough sucking she gave me, then the kissing. A thin layer of sweat danced across her skin, glistening from the light of the distant street lamp. Her breast still concealed behind the dress, but the cleavage showing was enough for me to run my tongue through. Her breathing became even more erratic, she was almost there. I grabbed one of her hands and guided it for her to play with herself. My grip on her hips tightened as I readied myself to let go.

"Fuck Roza, I need you," I rasped.

"Almost."

"Cum, damn it," I yelled, louder than I intended but I was starting to pulse as the words left my lips.

She screamed just as loud, clenching down around me. Both of our chest heaving as we attempted to catch our breaths. My hands still guiding her hips in a gentle rock now, riding out the bliss we were both in.

 _ *****End M Scene*****_

"Ten years and you still surprise me every time," Rose chuckled. It felt really weird because I was still inside her.

"You're one to talk, Roza," I laughed back, lifting her off of me and back into the passenger seat.

I looked at the clock on the dash, we left the park over an hour ago. The windows on the truck were fogged and the heady smell of sex lingered everywhere. I righted myself and moved back the driver's seat. Rolling down the windows to air out the truck, I looked at Rose. She had a grin the size of the Grand Canyon on her face, I was sure I mirrored her.

"Let's get home," her gaze still full of desire, but happiness and love covered her face.

Sex wouldn't take all the issues away, or make it all better, but it was a damn good start. We finally made it home another hour later, I really should have paid more attention to where I was going, but can you blame me? We continued the activities from the truck, falling asleep around three a.m.

I was woken up around seven when my phone chimed. I was still on the midnight shift, and I was off duty tonight, so I didn't expect it to be Eddie. Mama would call if something was wrong with the kids. I contemplated ignoring it, I tighten my grip around Rose and was halfway back to sleep, it chimed again. Rolling over with a groan I looked at the screen through half-open eyes. A number I didn't recognize shown on the screen, two messages. Blinking a few times, I righted my vision before opening them.

 _They are planning an ambush, I don't know when or where, but he wants you and will stop at nothing to get you._

 _I don't want to be apart of this, but he won't let me out. Please, help me!_

I sat up on the bed. So many thoughts run through my mind. _They are planning an ambush._ How many of my friends, my family are in danger of them. The answer is simple, all of them. Then he is asking for help, he wants out. Could I lend him sanctuary when he has been helping to terrorize my family and myself? Could I turn the other cheek to him when he played a role in the death of my brother? Could I even trust his warning? He said _they_ are planning, but only _he_ wants me. Was that intentional or not? I look at the text again, then at the clock. It is too damn early in the morning for this, but I can't sit on this information, real or fake, I had to call it in.

Scrolling through my contact list, I found the one I was looking for and hit dial.

"Chief Petrov, I have some concerning information I need to speak with you about….."

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

Who's ready for the action?

I had a review to do a Ben POV, which will come out next chapter. I said, in the beginning, no warning will be given, but I feel I need to for that. I struggled with writing it due to the mindset I have for his character. He is mentally ill, dark and sadistic, so it may be overwhelming for some. I will go back to before he met Rose all the way till now, so be prepared for what you may see from him.

After his POV though, we will have some exciting stuff happen. As I said, I plan on Wednesday or Thursday to have it up, most of it is written already, but I still have some fine-tuning.

Leave your thoughts on this chapter in the reviews, and I will see you all in a few days! Happy Monday!

\- Dream


	13. Chapter Twelve

_**Today has been a day Y'all, but I finished the edit and was able to get this up for you all tonight! Again, Ben POV is a little graphic, keep that in mind.**_

 _ **As always, R &R and Enjoy!**_

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and OC_**

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twelve**_

 _ **Ben POV**_

The plane wheels touched down, I was finally home. After nine months in Afghanistan, I was more than ready to be home in my own bed, laying next to my wife and making up for lost time. We lined up in formation, waiting for our dismissal. You could see the excited faces of spouses, children, parents, and siblings all around, waiting to welcome home their hero. My face remained impassive, but my eyes scanned the crowd, searching for her. Sarah. My commander released us and people moved at lightning speed to reach their loved ones. Once the area cleared out a little, I found her.

Her shorter frame of five foot five was hidden behind the mass of bodies that roamed the grounds. Dark brown hair flowing freely in the wind, it fell around her waist now, she didn't cut it while I was gone. The delicate curves of her body call out to me, begging me to wrap my arms around her and take her to bed. The way her jeans hugged her hips and the low cut of her shirt showed off her natural blessed bust, I wanted to devour her.

In a single moment, a simple breath, my world went from utterly amazing to raging fires of hell. Walking in the front door of my house, I knew something wasn't right. Sarah continued to tell me she had decided to rearrange things or change this and that, but it was more than a simple coat of paint. I could tell someone else had been living in the house while I was away. The lingering smell of men's body wash coming from the bathroom was a dead give away. She headed to the kitchen to make lunch, while I went to put my things away in our bedroom.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt until I had solid proof, I needed more than just a smell to confirm something was not right. The scent was stronger in the bedroom, no surprise there. Still, I needed something more. I checked the closet, the contents of the bathroom, the nightstands. The latter proving without a shred of a doubt, my wife was having an affair. She must not have expected me to go through her drawer, because the evidence here was damning. Pictures, jewelry, love letters filled the old wooden stand to the brim. Oh, and let me not forget the empty condom box laying on top. Part of me wondered how she could be so stupid to leave all of that where it was easily accessible. The other part wondered how I could have been so naive to think she would remain faithful.

Trust me when I say, she was not alone in missing the contact of another person. Overseas I was surrounded by dozens of men, very few women, and no way to relieve the burning tension and desire of physical pleasure. Sure, I could alleviate some with a rare moment of alone time, but that was not the same, nowhere near it. I could understand her wants and needs not being met, but she didn't have to go to someone else to assist with that problem. She managed through my first deployment just fine, didn't she?

I pulled the drawer from the slot in the nightstand, walking into the kitchen, I dumped the contents on the table she had just set. Her eyes fell out of their sockets and her jaw now rested on the floor. She didn't speak. She didn't look at me. She didn't do anything. So I did.

The glass shattered as the drawer connected with the China Cabinet. The expensive, family heirloom of thin china flew to the floor in millions of shards. Her mother had passed them down to us when we married, they had been in her family for almost a hundred years, not anymore. Pulling the tablecloth that laid across our dining table, glasses, plates and the evidence of her dirty secrets spilled onto the floor. Sarah had slowly started backing away into the kitchen, putting more and more distance between her and the maniac I was turning into. I couldn't stop myself though, I was outraged at coming home to this. Fuck, it would have been easier to come home and find her in bed with him, rather than finding the immortalized evidence.

The dust settled and she finally attempted to speak, her voice coming out in a soft whimper.

"What did you say," I barked.

"I'm sorry," tears rolled down her plush cheeks in a steady stream, "I didn't mean too..it just.."

"Let me guess, "it just happened", yeah I'm sure it did," I scoffed.

Not giving her a chance to explain whatever excuses she undoubtedly had, I gathered my belongings and left without as much of a glance in her direction. She wanted to be with someone else, fine, I will do the same.

Over the next two years, I dated a few different women, none measured up to the love I thought I had with Sarah. Six years. Six years of first, hopes, dreams, and love, gone. I would never find another woman who could compare to her. The sun rose and set with Sarah, she had been my all for as long as I can remember. My first real girlfriend turned wife, and she threw it all away for a quick lay.

I had given up, I wanted to end the struggle of breathing day in and day out. Which is exactly what I planned to do when I saw the most beautiful woman in the world, with tears streaming down her face. Her dark hair fanned out, contrasting against the white lawn chair. A black tank top hugged her flat stomach and bountiful breast snuggly. The shorts she wore hardly covered anything, making her legs appear even longer and shapely than they were. The bronze color of her skin showed me how much she enjoyed the sun, but the tranquill expression on her face told me she loved the night sky. She was gorgeous, and I wanted to know more about her.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, she damn near jumped out of the chair, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I took a step back, putting my hands up to show her I meant no harm. I was honestly surprised when she spoke, her voice was so similar to another's, or maybe that was just wishful thinking. The similarities between her and my lost love were overwhelming. I could almost pretend that sitting here with her, I was back with Sarah, happy, almost. We sat there for hours, talking, crying, laughing, enjoying the company of a stranger. As we continued to talk, I felt like I have known her for years. Something about the struggles she went through, the trials and tribulations she faced, it was familiar. It spoke to me, capturing my heart and soul in each word.

It was me.

She felt the same way I did. Though our situations were completely different, our emotional selves were the same. She got me because she was just like me. I will never forget that night, the words we shared, the guards I let down for her. She saved my life, by simply talking to me. Even though I was the one to approach her, she made a difference in how that day ended. She could have walked away, but she didn't. I wonder if she felt it too. When she left, giving me her number and becoming the light in my darkest hours, I knew deep down, she did.

Over the next two years, we stayed in touch with each other. Checking in a couple times a month or so to make sure the other was doing well. She was still with him, which in a way I was happy for her, but I couldn't help but feel the void of not having that piece of her. I tried to date others, again, no one measured up, but this time, it was Rose I compared them all too. No one understood me the way she did. Every girl I talked to, the few I tried to build a relationship with, they all saw me as unstable. I battled demons on a daily basis and none of them could handle that. Their loss. I knew what I had to offer, I knew I could give them the love and care they deserved. They just didn't want to put in the effort to return those feelings. I was ready to give up again, but one of the nagging voices in my head told me to give it one last chance.

That's when I ran into Sarah. She smiled brightly at me, going on and on about how wonderful her life was. It was in that moment, I noticed the change in myself that everyone was concerned about. As she spoke, I didn't hear her words, I imagined my hands wrapped around her throat, the life fading from her eyes, just like it did for me when she cheated. I wanted to torture her, take her precious wonderful life away. She didn't deserve to have a happily ever after, not when she took mine away. I wanted to make her pay for all the damage she caused, she was the reason I was like this now. It was her fault.

Inviting her out for a drink, we walked to the bar not far from where I found her. I toyed with her, telling her how beautiful she was, how much I missed her. I was curious if she was still the cheating type, so I asked for one last roll in the sheets, which she accepted quickly. Bitch. Some other poor bastard was being strung along just like I was. I would make sure she could never do it again. Hailing a cab, I took her to a cheap motel, the kind that didn't even ask for an ID when you got a room for a night, and I fucked her, taking her life at the same time. The deeper my cock seethed into her, the tighter I gripped her throat. She clawed at me, eyes begging me to stop, but I couldn't. Even if I had wanted to, I doubt I could have. The feeling of her pulse stopping under the pressure of my fingers, the look on her face as breathing became impossible. I was exhilarated and extremely aroused. After her struggling stopped, her body going limp, I continued to assault her until I felt the most powerful release I have ever had. My entire body was set on fire, burning through my veins in a glorious heat. It was like the skies parted ways with the dark and a bright light shined through. I was calm, at peace with myself and my demons. I wanted, no, I needed to feel it again.

There was only one person I wanted to feel it with, Rose.

She proved to be tougher than she appeared. She wasn't a broken hearted, depressed and uncertain girl I met in Florida. She had grown up, but I was determined. I would wait her out, sooner or later he will push her away and I will have my shot. When I managed the take her, I was excited about the possibilities that were coming. I didn't want to kill her right away, I wanted to enjoy her alive first. Someone as beautiful as her had to have something good to give, and I wanted it. During that first week, I wanted to gain her trust, make her believe I was only doing this because I loved her. In reality, I was doing it because I had to. The voices in my head told me she was the one. She would make everything better. Once I killed her, everything would be okay. I can remember like it was yesterday. The feeling of her lips wrapped tightly around me, the look of desperation in her eyes as I fucked her pretty little mouth. I wanted so badly to bury myself between her thighs. I wanted to feel her flesh around me, the silk of her fluids mixing with mine. I never got the chance, she fucking shot me. Then god damn John Wayne had to show up and take her away, leaving the Mob Boss to torture me.

Her father and Uncle did some serious damage, broken jaw, arm, a lot of internal bleeding, I could barely move. He told his associate to "take care of me", like hell motherfucker. I stilled pretending to be unconscious, waiting for my chance. He walked outside, when he came back, I was sitting upright, my pistol aimed to kill. Pushing through the pain, I disposed of his body and left in the rental I still had. Sending a text message an hour later from his phone to Rose's father, letting him know the situation was "taken care of".

I found a community in Michigan that was full of people much like me. We all had vices that were unconventional but could confide in each other. That is where I met the "old man". Finding out just how small the world really is, we decided to work together. I ran a few trials, taking Amanda and Courtney down with Sarah, needing to regain my strength. Once I was back to full health, strong enough to take her again. We settled our plans for Texas. He had business to handle of his own, I didn't ask why I didn't care. He had the money and means to get us there, all I needed was someone to be my look out. Someone Rose didn't know, someone I trusted and could easily influence.

I have been building up to this moment, eight years to be exact. Rose will be mine. She is the only one who was able to get away, I will not let that happen again. Soon she will share that same fate as the others. It would be bittersweet, I truly did love her, but she rejected me, degraded my existence, just like they did. I couldn't wait, only one more day. One. More. Day.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

I met with Chief that morning, figuring out exactly how we were going to handle this. I was straddling the fence about trusting Nathan. Until Rose informed me of what happened the night she was coming home from Lissa's, Misha's warning, knowing about Nathan and his intentions. Not that it comforted me at all for my four-year-old son to tell me he saw Nathan trying to help. I didn't like the thought of him knowing anything about what was going on with Rose and I. What could I do though, he had a gift. I just wish it showed better and brighter things.

Things were organized quickly, a burner phone set up to communicate with Nathan without Ben being able to trace it back to me. SWAT was gearing up and preparing for the upcoming standoff. We would not let another one of us fall because of them, we had the element of surprise here. Nathan had informed us that Ben and his other partner were staying on Sunset, where Mase and I have been scouting for the last week. I immediately questioned him, already not believing his information. We watched that whole block, nothing ever moved in or out, the blue malibu was never there. He countered with the fact that the car was inside a garage and they only moved a few times to get supplies, otherwise, they remained inside.

They were heavily armed, guns, knives, even a few flash bangs, I assumed he used some old military connection for those. Both of them were trained and knew how to shoot on the run, not helping the steady fear creeping in the back of my mind. Nathan gave us a date and time, tomorrow after sunset. Ben's plan was to raise hell in another part of the city, sending all responders to that area. Then he would draw out who he could, mainly me, to his side of the tracks. According to Nathan, they had enough ammunition to take on a small army, no doubt, they were going to kill as many of us as they could.

"It's a suicide mission," Rose yelled.

She would not stop asking me what we had found out and what we planned to do about it. So, I finally broke and told her about the strike team we assembled. Needless to say, she was livid.

"It's the only way, Roza, if all goes as planned we won't even have to fire one shot," I spoke softly, trying to bring her back down a notch or two.

"He isn't going to go down that easy, you know it, what if you guys get hurt?."

"This is what we do, Rose. We run toward the danger to keep everyone else safe from it. I am doing this to protect you, protect my family, I need you safe, Milaya."

"What about your safety," she pleaded, "What about Mason, Eddie, Emil and all the others, don't you all deserve to be safe too."

"We will be," I cupped her face, wiping the falling tears away, looking deep into her eyes, "We will all be watching each other's backs, we will be fine. I promise."

I shouldn't have said that I can't promise we will all come out of this. She knew that too, the look she gave me said, "I don't believe you," but she nodded, knowing there was nothing she could say or do to stop us. I kissed her lips gently, pouring all the love my body held for her into it. She returned with just as much, if not more. The thought of this being the last kiss I may ever share with her hit me like a brick wall, I didn't want to let go. My phone chimed in my pocket, pulling me from the other world I had been in with Rose.

It was time to go. I looked into her eyes one last time, silently promising to do everything I can to come home in the morning. With one last kiss, I left her in our bedroom, walking the few steps to kiss my children goodbye. They were both asleep, but I sat by their beds, telling them how much I love them. Letting them know Papa will always be there for them, no matter what happened tonight, I would always be by their sides. Softly closing their doors, I headed down the stairs.

"Comrade," Rose cried, I turned to see her standing at the top of the stairs, one of my shirts covering her frame, I smiled.

"I love you, Roza, forever and always."

"I love you too, Dimitri. Please, Please be safe."

"Always, Roza, Always am."

I headed to the station, knowing tonight everything would change.

One by one, we checked into service on our side channel. It was designated for the SWAT team and could not be heard on a scanner. Nathan never mentioned if they listened to one or not, but we didn't want to risk it. Besides, being on a separate channel allowed us to talk freely amongst ourselves without worrying we would tie up another units traffic. The familiar voice on the other side was a welcoming sound. Tasha was running our command center, having her on the other side of the radio was actually a relief. We may not have always gotten along, but knowing I had a friend that cared about me helped with the anxiety.

I looked around the room, thirty officers total were geared head to toe in armor. Some looking slightly worried, as this is their first call out, others, the veterans held faces of stone. I couldn't help the twinge of pain in my heart, all of these people are risking themselves for me. Ben and his partner want me, not them. I was about to say something when Chief walked in, silencing the room with only her presence.

"You all have your assignments, I expect you to stick to them. Belikov will remain in contact with the informant, and share any pertinent information he receives. Lt. Matthews and Sgt. Castile are calling all shots, do not differentiate from your orders. Understood?"

Everyone nodded their heads, some saying "Roger" or "Ten-four", otherwise, no one spoke. I took my chance, stepping forward next to Petrov, I addressed the room.

"I just wanted to say something really quick," I took a deep breath, "I am very thankful to have you all at my back for this. I appreciate what you are willing to sacrifice for my family and myself. Just know that you have our deepest gratitude."

"We're family, Belikov. Someone targets one of us, they target all of us. In this family, no one fights alone," Emil spoke up.

Eddie stepped in beside him, "We will always have your back, just like you have ours. Now let's go get this son of a bitch."

We filled out of the room, loaded into the van and headed north to Sunset St.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

I couldn't sleep.

Dimitri left two hours ago. By now, they would be set up to breach the house. He didn't tell me the details of how they were going to approach them, but I could piece it together from what he did reveal. I laid on the bed, staring at my phone. I don't know if I was waiting for a call from him, telling me it went perfectly and he would be home soon. Or a call from Chief Petrov or Eddie, telling me he wouldn't be. The war going on in my mind was far from over. I shouldn't have yelled at him, I knew what he had to do. I knew he was only trying to protect us, but the fear of losing him, I lost it.

"Mama," a tiny voice called out.

"Come in, baby."

Misha opened the door, standing in the hall. I motioned him into the room, letting him crawl in the bed with me, resting his head on my chest.

"Papa is going to the bad place, isn't he?"

"Why do you say that?" I wanted to see if he saw something, or heard Dimitri and I talking.

"He kept telling me he loves me, that no matter what he would always be here," his voice was stricken, full of anguish.

I wasn't sure what to say, I knew he saw Dimitri in the shootout in his dreams, but how do I tell my baby boy that his Papa may not come home. I couldn't.

"Your Papa is strong, he has Uncles Eddie and Mason with him, he will be okay."

"What if he's not?"

I could feel something soaking into my shirt, Misha was crying heavily, but it wasn't a nasty cry like I did. He was silently letting all the tears fall from his tiny body. I sat up and pulled him into my lap, gently rocking him back and forth. I sang him the Russian lullaby Dimitri and I used to sing when he was born, calming him almost instantly.

"No matter what, Michael, everything will be okay, I promise."

He looked up at me, knowing I only ever called him by his first name when I was being dead serious. Mainly when he was in trouble, which wasn't often, but it held the same effect here. I ran my fingers through his hair, calming him further until he fell asleep. I laid him down on Dimitri's side of the bed and watched him sleep. For once, he didn't wake with nightmares, he seemed to sleep peacefully. I took that as a good sign.

Giving up on catching any sleep tonight, I headed downstairs to sit in the living room. I laid back on the couch, thinking about the last week. Dimitri and I reconnected on many different levels. Between the intimate encounters we shared, the family outings with the kids and the dinner with his family. He was finally getting back to his old self. I wanted it to stay that way, especially with what I had yet to tell him.

 _ ****Flashback- 3 Days Earlier****_

"Dinner will be ready soon, why don't you go round everyone up and head into the dining room."

Olena, Suzanne and I were all preparing dinner tonight. We gathered at Dad's house, seeing as he had the largest space to hold everyone, for our first full family dinner in almost a year. It was Mama, Babushka, Dad, Suzanne, Karo, Paul, Zoya, Sonja, Joey, Katya, Ivan, Vika, Pavel, Melissa and Dimitri and I with Sasha and Misha. The whole family was together, I was in heaven. I had missed Vika and Ivan something fierce, living in California and both having demanding jobs, we didn't see them much. I hadn't seen Joey in almost over three years now, he spent all his free time traveling to raise money for underprivileged youth. Only coming back in the area to see Sonja, which I wouldn't dare come between.

I set the table, getting the kids plates made before all the adults settled in. Dad broke out two of his finest bottles of red to go with our seared beef tips. Both Vika and I declined. I didn't like drinking around the kids anyways, so no harm for me. Everyone wondered why Viktoria declined though, I already knew. Viktoria looked at me, then to Ivan. He shrugged and told her it was her call. She stood up to get everyone's attention.

"So, the real reason we came home," she paused, looking down at Ivan again, he smiled at her, looking back at the table, mainly her Mama, "We're gonna have a baby!" she exclaimed, utter joy ringing in her voice.

The table erupted into cheers, congratulations were called out from everyone. Dimitri walked around to give Ivan a "bro" hug and kiss his sister's cheek. Instinctively, my hand found home on my lower abdomen, I wouldn't over shadow her happy news with my own. I would wait and tell Dimitri later, then we could tell everyone else. We actually were planning on this one, but it was a bit sooner than we hoped for. I decided we shouldn't attempt to plan anything anymore, it is going to happen the way it wants to.

Dinner carried on with the exciting news, the woman talked about baby names and nursery designs, while the men, well they talked sports. I helped Suzanne clean up the dining room, the guys went out back with the kids and ladies took to the living room to enjoy tea and more baby talk.

"So when are you going to announce your news?" Suzanne questioned when we were finally alone.

I didn't bother with how she knew, "Next week after work settles down for Dimitri. I want to tell him privately before letting everyone else in."

She nodded in understanding. I could see the slight longing in her eyes. She had always wanted children, but with her husband being ill, and then falling for Dad, she didn't have the chance. She loved treating me like her own though, and my children her grandchildren. They knew no better that she wasn't, which we all preferred. A knock at the door drew me away from dishes.

"Look what the cat dragged in," I laughed, hugging both Mase and Eddie as they came through the threshold.

"Ever the lovely hostess, Rosie," Mase jokes.

"The guys are out back," I closed the door and ushered them through.

With the dishes done, I went in search of my man. He was no longer out back with the men, neither were Mason and Eddie. Dad gave a nod in the direction of his office. The closer I got to the door, I could hear the whispers between the three.

"Are you sure, seems kind of sudden," Dimitri asked them.

"Nathan texted about an hour ago, he said Ben and the Old guy were out getting last minute supplies. They are planning on causing a diversion on the east end of town, drawing everyone away from Sunset area." that was Mason.

"So we take the team to them," Dimitri again.

"That's what Chief wants, but you have to know, we all may not make it out of this, D," Eddie spoke for the first time.

"I know, let's talk about this tomorrow, we can hash out the details with the team and move in two days."

I scurried away from the door, trying desperately to hold back the tears that were welling quickly. I hid in the bathroom, letting a few traitors escape. He had to come home, he had too. I needed to make sure Mason knew just how much was on the line. Not only me, or Sasha and Misha, but the new baby too. I needed Mason to protect him and make sure he makes it back to me and our children. I calmed myself enough to leave the bathroom, catching Mason's eyes through the living room, I motioned him to follow me upstairs.

"Everything alright, Rose?"

"I heard you guys talking, I know what's going on and when," he opened his mouth, but I rose a hand to silence him, "I know you guys have to do it, but I have to ask you the biggest favor I have ever asked anyone."

I paused, he gave me a nod to continue, "I'm pregnant, I need him to come home, no matter what Mase."

"You know I will protect him with my life, Rose. We will all be fine, try not to worry too much okay, I know you will, but not too much," he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, mine snaked around his waist.

"It's impossible not to worry about him, about all of you. You were the only family I had growing up, you have been my best friend since Pre-K."

"I know, you have always been the little sister I never wanted," he laughed. I pulled back, smacking his chest, with a mock hurt expression. "You know I am only kidding."

"I know, but I just wanted to hit you."

"Have you told him yet?" I shook my head, "Are you going to before.."

"No, he needs to focus on what he has to do. That is why I need you to keep him safe. He can't die without knowing, he has only been there for one birth, I don't want him to miss the last."

"So your stopping at three?"

"I wanted to stop at one, but life has a funny way of working out."

His face turned to stone, something stirred in him, "That it does. You have my word Rose, he will make it home."

"Thank You, Mase, I love you, you know that right?"

"I know, Rosie, I love you too, I always have, I always will."

 _ ****End Flashback****_

A knock on the door pulled me from my memories. I must have dozed off, the sun was now peaking over the horizon. A soft orange glow filtered through the room. I looked out the window before opening the door, it was far too early in the morning for anyone to be showing up. The black SUV parked outside left my heart racing. Another knock. I took a deep breath, turning the locks, then the handle.

My hand immediately covered my mouth, my knees becoming weak as I looked out my door.

Standing before me was Eddie, next to him, Chief Petrov.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

_**The response to the last Chapter was so great, I felt you deserved the other half of it! As always, R &R and Enjoy.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Thirteen**_

 _ **DPOV**_

The silence in the van was deafening.

Everyone seemed to be in another world all their own. Myself, personally, I was panicking, not that it showed, but inside I was a mess. We took Nathan at his word, but what if it was a lie? What if he was sending us into a completely unrealistic situation, one that none of us will make it out of. I knew the risk involved with this mission, I was ready for it, but I couldn't help the guilt of the danger I was putting my brothers in.

Eddie broke the silence as we hit out rally point, "Command will be set at the intersection of Morning Glenn and Honeysuckle, that will put us three blocks from the house. Alpha team, approach from the east side, Bravo the west and Charlie the south. The front door faces North, so Delta team will have to tread carefully on that end. Any questions?"

No one spoke, so Eddie looked at me, "Belikov, Did you receive any update from the informant?"

"No Sir, I attempted contact with him before we left, I have not gotten a response."

The tension in the unit increased tenfold, we were going in blind. We may have had an idea about the layout from Nathan's earlier information, but with him not answering now, well that was a cause for concern.

"Do you think he found out?" Mase asked.

"I sure hope not," I whispered.

I may not have trusted him per say, but I felt bad for him. After he started talking to us, I could see he really didn't want to be apart of it. His brother used him, making him do things he would have never done on his own. Of course I still had my doubts, but in the end, I hope we can help him out.

Staging at the rally point, we filed out of the van in precision order. Each team, I was on Delta with Mason and Eddie, proceeded to their points. We had to go down a block and back over, we needed to stay hidden as long as possible. About a thousand feet from the house, Emil keyed up on the radio.

"Everyone hold your current position."

We halted immediately, Eddie, Mase and I exchanged curious looks. Before we could ask what was wrong, another officer keyed up.

"451, I have a visual of explosives set around the perimeter," Moore, he was on Emil's squad, "Looks like C4, there is a trip wire running along the back property line, can anyone confirm if it is all the way around."

I made my way closer, Eddie tried to pull me back, but I wouldn't let him. I would be the one to fall first, I didn't want to put anymore risk on the others. I moved about 500 feet away from the front of the house. Taking out my infrared binoculars I checked the front walkway to both corners of the property, I didn't see anything. I looked back toward the bushes on the east side of the yard, I could see a small green light. With my binoculars it wouldn't allow me to see the different color, only heat would make the vision change. I slowly walked closer, keeping a good look out for a tripwire or movement in the house. I felt like a ninja, keeping low and moving without a sound. Making it to the east side with no issues, I looked at the device mounted just under the bush. There was a cell phone attached to the C4 block, two wires ran into it. No trip wire on this side. Knowing that my radio could very well trigger the bomb to go off, I backed out slowly, still watching every place I stepped.

"There is a cell phone detonator attached to one at the northeast corner, I didn't see a wire trigger though," I keyed up when I made it back to our team.

"All he has to do is dial the number and it will set it off," Eddie commented.

"Yeah, and our radios can interfere with that, we can't move in and be able to communicate," Mase added.

"We need the bomb squad to respond, and I don't think he is inside," Eddie gave me a raised brow, "I used the inferred on the house, it didn't show any heat."

"All units fall back, return to the rally point," Eddie commanded.

"Should we try contacting him again," I asked as we filled back into the van.

"We can't risk that his phone is the one attached to the bomb," Emil answered.

"How long will it take to get the bomb squad out here?"

"About twenty minutes or so, we need to clear the area though, I know most of the houses are abandoned, but we need to make sure no civilians are in the area. Alpha and Bravo teams, start on that, keep your eyes open for anything unusual as you make your rounds. Watch each other's backs," Eddie ordered.

Alpha and Bravo teams took off, Mine and Emil's units stayed put, waiting for our next instruction. Emil made the call to Tasha, she sent out the page to the required units, now all we could do is wait.

"Tash, can you check and see if there are any major calls going on in the south district?" I keyed.

We weren't supposed to use our names while on the radio, but I needed the feeling of normality right now. Besides, we were on a side channel, no one, other than those on it, would hear us.

"Nothing showing right now, I have everyone in the city pulled up if something drops I will let you guys know."

"Thank you," I responded.

We waited the twenty minutes for the bomb unit to show, both teams had made it back by now. All the residents were cleared, only two of them were occupied so it didn't take them long. After they disengaged the C4 outside, they checked the inside for any signs of additional explosives. Nothing was found, we were ready to clear the house.

My heart pounded in my ears as I approached the front door. I knew he wasn't in here, but we still didn't know what we would find. If Nathan had been telling the truth about them using this house, there was sure to be some type of evidence. What I found, was disturbing, to say the least. The front room, which had been the living kitchen area at some point, was covered in pictures. Mainly Rose, but one wall had nothing but photos of me. I stopped dead in my tracks, the others continued to move through the house. The photos of Rose pissed me off, I knew he was following her, but damn, he was everywhere she was. Then the photos of me, he must have taken most before my days on the desk. Many were of me at the stadium, but even somewhere internet post of my Rangers days. What did he care about me then?

"BELIKOV," Moore yelled from the back of the house.

I moved quickly down the hall, finding Moore and Emil in the back bedroom, a body on the floor. Moore was requesting paramedics and Emil was on his knees checking for a pulse on the man, Nathan. He had been beaten and from the amount of blood, stabbed quite a few times. I fell to my knees on the other side, looking at the ashen face of the young man.

"He found the phone, they left, I don't know where" his voice so low I could hardly hear him.

"Don't talk, you need to save your energy, I am sorry."

"No," he coughed violently, "I am sorry, I should... Should have done something sooner," he coughed again.

"It's going to be okay, just rest now, Nathan, just rest."

The paramedics arrived quickly, they were already staged in the area in case one of us needed them. They loaded Nathan's body onto the stretcher and headed to the hospital. I would go and check on him later.

We stood outside on the front lawn, discussing our next moves. With no information on where they took off to, we were at a standstill. Mase had the best idea out of all of us.

"Why don't we all partner up, get into individual units and patrol. That way we're still near each other if a backup is needed, but we can cover more ground in the search."

"Not a bad idea, Ashford," Emil nodded in approval.

We went back to the station, filling into undercover units and heading back out.

"I told you one day we would get this one," I chuckled. I picked the keys to the Black Charger.

"YES!" Mase exclaimed, "I love this car."

We drove the area, not finding anything suspicious. Eddie ordered us to pick a street and watch, so Mase and I made a home at the dead end we spent so many nights on. After three hours of no movement, Eddie called for half of the SWAT team to fall out, it looked like they may have gotten scared and ran off. Mase and I carried a steady light conversation, just trying to keep ourselves awake, we wouldn't be going anywhere until shift was over.

"What did Rose want the other night, at Abe's house?"

"She just made me promise that you would make it home," something in his tone told me there was more, but I didn't push, just gave a simple nod.

"Things have been better between you guys, right?"

"Very much so, I actually got you something to say thank you for kicking my ass in gear, it's in my locker, don't let me forget."

"Awe, D, you didn't have to get me anything," he said way to sweetly.

"Shut up," I smacked his arm jokingly.

We were both laughing, but Mason stopped suddenly.

"D, Check it out."

"Oh shit, is that…" I couldn't finish my statement, before we could blink, bullets were raining through the car.

Mase bailed out his door, hiding behind it for cover, I mimicked him on my side. Taking a moment, I sent out a prayer, not to anyone in particular, but to anyone who would listen. The fire stopped and we peeked up to see where the suspect went. I could see a figure running north down the road.

"Got him!" I yelled, we took off on foot after the shooter.

We ran side by side, scanning the area as we made our way down the deserted urban street. I had only seen the one, but you never know if Ben was lurking in the shadows, we had to stay vigilant.

My heart beat furiously in my chest, my breathing ragged, as our feet thudded against the pavement. I could still make out the silhouette of our suspect, when all of a sudden he stopped. Mase and I halted our movements, looking for anything we could take cover by if needed. There wasn't much, a oak tree was to the right of us, but only one would be fully concealed behind the trunk. There was a plastic trash can about ten feet from that, it wouldn't stop a bullet, but it would slow it down.

Mase dropped behind the trash can, I headed to the tree, just as the gun fire started again. I leaned out just enough to see where the fucker stood, maybe sixty feet away, I could hit him. I fired back rapidly, emptying my entire clip and reloading. When I paused to switch magazines, Mason stood and began to fire. I watched the spark of fire of every bullet leave his gun, the sound booming through the quiet neighborhood.

It dawned on me just then, we never called for backup. Fuck!

"2231, we need immediate assistance the corner of Sunset and Morning Glen, taking heavy fire."

I could hear Tasha key up the radio, but the words were blocked out by the continuing sound of bullets flying through the air. The high pitched whistle as it flew past my head, again and again. I looked over to Mason, he was reloading now. I couldn't help but think, in this moment, my life is a hundred percent on the line. Will I ever see Rose, Sasha or Misha again? Will I ever get to walk through my front door to hear my little girl excited to show me something she learned? Will I ever teach Misha how to play baseball? Walk my daughter down the aisle? Will I die today?

"He's on the move!" Mason yelled to me.

 _Focus Dimitri, Fuck!_ I yelled at myself, I would surely die if I couldn't keep my head straight right now.

We took off again, Mason keyed up to give the other responding units updates.

"White male, black shirt, blue jeans, dark hair, heading north on Sunset."

I heard Eddie's voice in response, "I am thirty seconds out."

"Copy Sar..FUCK!" Mason yelled, we were now being shot at from behind.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" I asked as we dove into a alley.

"I have no idea, but I'm hit," he crocked.

"Where?"

"Leg, nothing that will kill me, but man that hurts like a bitch," he chuckled.

"Not the time for jokes," I reprimanded him, I know he was just trying to lighten the tension, but I couldn't deal with that right now.

I was about to radio for an ambulance, we would need them as soon as I could get Mason out of here. However, my radio wouldn't work. I looked down at my hip, there was a hole in the side of it. This is not good.

"Mase, call for EMS and let Eddie know you've been hit, I am going to see if I can see anything moving."

"You can't go out without a radio, D, are you fucking crazy?"

"I am not going to sit here and wait on these assholes to come at us. Call it in, now."

Mason may be a higher rank than me, but he listened to an order when it was given. I knew it wasn't smart to walk out into the line of fire without a radio, but he was within ear shot. He would be able to radio for me, should something happen. I looked around the corner of an abandoned house, not seeing any movement. I heard Mason move, hobbling his way toward me.

"What are you doing?" I whisper yelled at him.

"You are not going out there alone, wounded or not, I will not leave you."

I nodded, I would do the same thing for him, I guess I shouldn't have expected any less.

"Eddie just called in the area, no sign of the suspect."

"Where did the other shots come from? I know they were behind us, but I don't see anything or anyone moving."

Mason limped forward a bit further, trying to get a line of sight around the other building. I followed right behind him, gun poised and ready. We saw him move at the same time, Ben. The battle in my head raged, kill him or apprehend him. I wanted him dead, after everything he has put Rose through, I never wanted to see his face again. He raised his gun to fire at me, I pulled the trigger on mine, a click was the only sound to come off of it. The mag was empty. I dropped the mag, moving to grab another when he fired at me. I froze on the spot, I wouldn't be able to move fast enough to change the clip and fire before his bullet hit me. I took a deep breath as the world moved in slow motion, preparing for it to be my last.

Only it wasn't, something stopped the bullet from hitting me. Mason.

I watched my partner hit the ground, and heard the click of another gun. Ben's was now empty. I grabbed Mason's pistol and fired at him. There was only three rounds left in his, but I hit Ben with every one of them. Watching him fall to the ground was the breath of fresh air I needed, but I had to ensure he was dead. My mind clouded with utter hatred for him, I reloaded my own pistol and let every bullet fly through the chamber and into his body. When it was empty, I turned back, remembering Mason had been hit. Looking at him, he was clutching his throat, blood pouring over his fingers.

"Oh fuck, Mase!" I dropped to my knees.

I pushed the red button on his radio, screaming for someone to hear me, "OFFICER DOWN, OFFICER DOWN!"

I put my finger in the bullet hole in his neck, desperately trying to slow the bleeding.

"Hang on, Mase, medics will be here soon, just hang on." I pleaded.

"D….D…"

"Don't talk, you need to hold your energy, just keep your eyes open."

"I...kept ...promise," he sputtered.

"You did, but you have to hold on Mase, you have to go home too, stay with me," I pleaded.

"Tell..Rose..kids..love..them," he was gagging, he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Where the fuck is the medic!" I yelled into his radio, "Mase, please hang on, please.. You can't go."

His eyes were blank, staring at nothing, breathing shallow, no, this can't be happening.

"Prom..ise.." he managed before his heart stopped, his body stilling.

"Come on, Ashford! You can't do this," I started pumping his chest, begging his heart to beat, "You can't fucking leave! God damnit, Mason, Breathe!" I yelled, over and over again, he wouldn't.

"Dimitri, let go," I heard someone say.

"I can't, I have to save him, he can't go like this!"

"Dimitri, he's gone, come on, let go," the voice said again, Eddie.

I leaned back on my heels, shoulders racking from the sobs that were quickly escaping me. Looking at him, his eyes still open, holding no light like they normally do. I reaching up to his face, my hand trembled, I closed his eyes.

"I promise, Mase, and Thank You."

Eddie grabbed my arm, helping me stand, and walk away from my partner. My friend. My brother. I couldn't stop the waterfall if I wanted to. We were just talking, laughing and joking, how can he be gone, just like that.

"Your bleeding too," Eddie said, looking at my arm.

There was a rip in my shirt, blood running down the back and side of my arm. I shrugged him off, it's a flesh wound, I'll live. That thought bringing more tears, if that was even possible at this point, to my eyes.

"You need to go to the hospital, you can check on Nathan while you are there," I nodded, "I will finish up here and go make notifications."

Mason didn't have any family, "To who?"

He sighed, "Rose is his beneficiary, she is his only emergency contact, has been since we signed on."

"Why her?"

I knew Mason always cared about Rose, he has loved her for a long time, but why was she his point of contact?

"She is the only family he has, other than me, he wanted her to have everything if anything ever happened to him. He wanted his death to help take care of his niece and nephew."

I looked back to where Mason laid, now covered with a white sheet. He didn't only promise to make sure I went home, he made sure, even in his death, he would be there for us. I sat down on the back of Eddie's SUV, slumping forward as every memory of Mason and I passed through my mind. All the laughs, fights, games, and everyday of our partnership on the streets. He was more than my work family, he was my brother from childhood and always will be.

I saw a new set of flashing lights pull on the street, Chief's truck pulled up to the scene.

"Chief is here, we will get this cleared up and go," I nodded, "In the meantime, get to the hospital and clean that up," he pointed to my arm.

"I will. Please make sure when you make the notification, she knows it's not me. She will have a heart attack when she opens the door to see you two. Even though she will break either way, please make sure she knows he kept his promise."

"I will," Eddie nodded with a sullen expression. This was killing him just as much as me. He was always closer to him than I was.

I headed to my unit, walking up to a deceased Ben on my way. I stood over his lifeless body. His death doing nothing to avenge the loss of my brother. Looking at the ten bullet holes in his body, the glaze look of his eyes as he stared at nothing.

"Burn in hell, Motherfucker," I held no remorse for killing him. It was him or me, or Mason, and he took Mason with him.

I had just climbed in my car when Petrov keyed up her radio, "Belikov, did you get a good look at the other suspect?"

I tried to focus, tried to remember who was standing before me when we first were shot at. The other person behind this whole thing. The one that got away from us. The sadness faded as anger took back over. I knew him. I hated him. I haven't seen him in almost twenty years.

"Randall Ivashkov, My Father."

* * *

A/N:

It killed me to write this guys, I always planned on this happening, I had it written before the story started. I hate myself for doing it, I always hate that he is the one to die, but it was the only way to make the impact I wanted. But at least it wasn't Dimitri, right? And now we all know who the other person is, congrats to those who got it from the start. Next update will come on Saturday evening! Enjoy the rest of your week!

\- Dream


	15. Chapter Fourteen

_**Thank you for all the reviews, you guys are amazing!**_

 _ **Chapter Fourteen**_

 _ **RPOV**_

This can't be happening.

"Rose, it's not Dimitri," Eddie said quickly taking in my look of horror.

He reached out and caught my arm and walked me over to the couch. My heart was still beating out of my chest, my breathing uneven. _It's not him, it's not him,_ I repeated the mantra in my head.

"Then why are you here," I looked at the two of them.

"Dimitri was injured tonight, but he is fine. He is at the hospital now and should be home soon. We.." Eddie stopped, tears welled in his eyes.

"You wouldn't be here if everyone was okay," I looked at Chief again, she didn't want to be the one to tell me, she was avoiding eye contact, why? "Eddie, what happened?"

He cleared his throat, a tear fell as he looked me in the eyes, "We lost Mason."

My guard went up immediately, refusing to hear his words.

"No, No that's not possible, I just talked to him, No.." I couldn't accept it.

"He wanted us to tell you, he kept his promise," Eddie was desperately trying to hold back his emotions. Tears fell silently down the stone mask he held, there was no waiver in his voice, no real emotion at all, he was broken.

"How?" I needed to know, I can't explain why, but I needed to. I was not going to acknowledge that he was gone until I knew why and saw him for myself.

"Rose, I don't.." Eddie shook his head, he wouldn't tell me.

I looked at Petrov, "Either you can tell me or I can read about it in the morning news."

"One of the suspects shot at Officer Belikov, Officer Ashford jumped in front of him," always so proper with her, using their titles even when talking to their family.

"Which suspect? Did you catch any of them?" I was starting to get angry, they were beating around the bush on their answers.

Petrov looked at Eddie, "She's gonna find out anyway when he comes home, might as well," Eddie answered. She nodded for him to tell me.

"Ben is the one who shot at Dimitri and Mason. The other suspect got away," he stopped.

"Do I have to fucking drag it out of you? Who is the other suspect, Eddie," I was all but yelling at this point.

"Randall," he whispered.

For the second time already today, I was speechless. My mind was racing a million miles a minute, I tried to slow it down to focus on one thing but there was just too much. Mason is gone. Randall is the other person involved with this whole thing, we hadn't seen or heard from him since Dimitri kicked his ass and Dad sent him packing. Then there was the issue of Ben and Nathan, Eddie didn't say what happened to them.

"Ben and Nathan?"

"Nathan is at the hospital with several stab wounds. Ben found out he came to us and left him to die at the house they had been staying in," he paused, I waited impatiently for him to continue, "Dimitri killed Ben."

I let out a sigh of relief. No, I am not happy that he killed someone, but I am happy that I will never have to worry about him again.

"You're sure he is dead, last time someone told me that he showed back up."

"Positive," Eddie said sternly.

I was about to ask about Nathan when the front door opened. I was off the couch and leaping toward him before he crossed the entry.

"I am home, Roza, I'm here," he whispered, but I could hear the anguish in his voice.

I cried into his shoulder. I didn't care that his duty belt was pushing into my thighs, I didn't care that he smelt like something out of the sewer, I didn't care about anything other than him being here. I had Mason to thank for that.

 _Mason._

"He kept his promise, Roza, and he wanted me to tell you he loves you."

I must have said his name out loud, I pulled back to look in his eyes. The soft melted chocolate was gone, they held no warmth, not even sadness. They were empty, just like they were a few weeks ago. After seeing the way he handled Neil's death I could only imagine what will happen now. Mason was close to all of us, but he was his partner, how is this going to affect him? I put up the steel cage around my heart and mind. I had to be the strong one, I had to fight to keep the control because they all counted on me. Detaching myself from Dimitri, but not straying far, I looked back to Eddie. There was still one thing I didn't understand.

"Why did you come to tell me about Mason?"

"You are his emergency contact. He wanted you to be the one notified should anything happen, since he doesn't have a next of kin."

That made sense, Mase parents died when he was little. Eddie's family took him in, raised him like their own. Since Eddie was on the force with him, he would have had to put someone outside of him. I wasn't able to think about that much more, a door upstairs opened and every head turned to see my little boy walk down the stairs.

"What's going on," Misha yawned.

"We'll get out of here so you can talk to them. If you need anything, either of you, let me know. There are some other things I will have to talk to you about, Rose, but it can wait a few days."

"Thank you, Eddie," I wrapped my arms around him, whispering in his ear, "You know I am here if you need me, he was your brother too."

He nodded, kissing my forehead, he left with Chief in tow.

"Papa, what happened to your arm?"

I looked at Dimitri, there was a thick white gauze wrapped around his upper left arm. Eddie said he had been injured, but I didn't think about it when he walked in.

"Just a scratch, I am alright, bud," Dimitri tousled his hair, "I am going to grab a shower, Roza," dropping a kiss to the top of my head, he headed upstairs.

"Why don't you watch some cartoons and I will make you breakfast," I ushered Misha into the living room.

Walking into the kitchen, the weight of the world fell on me. I couldn't show how badly I was broken, Dimitri needed me, the kids needed me. I needed Mason. _This can't be happening,_ was the only coherent thought I could come up with. I was just talking to him, telling him about the baby and how much I love him, he can't just be gone. My hand found home on my stomach, I have to remember I have another little life relying on me too. Too much stress, shutting down like I so desperately want to, could hurt my precious little peanut. I had to be strong, I had to power through and help my family get through this. I can break down later, but for now, I will be what Mason was to me, Superman.

Sasha woke about ten minutes later, joining her brother in the living room. I finished making breakfast and set them both up with a plate. I was about to sit down to join them when I heard a loud crash from upstairs. I told the kids to stay at the table and ran up to see what happened. The sight before my eyes wrenched my heart in a completely different way.

"DIMITRI!"

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

It took more effort than I could dream to walk up those stairs and stip my armor. My whole body felt heavy, guilt, anger and sorrow weighed me down. I should have been the one to die. Ben wanted me, not Mason, yet here I stand. How could I have been so stupid? My gun should have been loaded, but when I stopped to look at Mason behind the trashcan I stopped my train of thought. How could I not tell the difference in a loaded and unloaded gun as I held it up to shoot? I caused his death. If my gun would have been loaded, I would have shot Ben before he had the chance to fire. Mason would be alive and all would have been fine.

I piled my uniform on the floor, not bothering to put it away in the laundry bin, it would be going straight into the trash. My vest and duty belt laid next to it, as well as my boots, I had no energy to put anything up. Turning on the cold water, I stepped into the shower. I didn't deserve warmth, comfort, love, I deserve nothing. I watched the water turn orange as the blood washed down the drain. Mine and Mason's. Laying my head against the cold tile, I let the guilt take over. When I opened my eyes again, the water was clear, turning off the taps, I stepped out and into my room. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was disgusted. What kind of man am I? My brother is dead because I fucked up. I can't do anything to change that, to bring him back, I am worthless. I couldn't stand the sight of myself, I didn't want to see the man in the mirror any longer. Without a thought, I drew back and launched my fist straight into the glass. The pain of ripping flesh was welcome, I'd rather the physical as opposed to the emotional. The whole thing shattered, landing all around me in a spray of tiny shards. Deep gashes ran over my hand and forearm. I watched as the blood seeped out, remembering how quickly Mase's flowed from his neck. I tried so hard to stop the bleeding, but it was too fast and just kept coming. No matter how hard I pressed, or how many times I beat his chest, he wouldn't wake up. I failed him. I should have died.

"DIMITRI," Rose screamed, but I could hardly tell, my mind was too far away to hear her clearly.

She came to stand in front of me, her mouth moving, but I heard nothing. She tried to pull me toward the bathroom, but my feet were cement. She gave up and went to get a towel, coming back she began to clean my newly acquired wounds. She wrapped a second towel around my hips, I guess I was still naked, not that I cared anyway. Rose kept talking, but her words never made it to my ears. Her face held such concern, worry, and sorrow. I didn't deserve her concern, she needed to mourn her friend, she shouldn't have to worry about me.

"I am fine, Rose. Thank you."

I pulled my arm from her and slugged my way back into the bathroom, stepping on the remains of the mirror along the way. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, completely numb to the pain, that was now coming from my arm as well as my feet. I don't know how long I sat there for, time meant nothing, it may have been minutes or hours, I wouldn't know. Someone knocked on the door.

"Lieutenant Matthews," I quirked. What is he doing here?

"Rose called said you needed some help," he gestured to my arms, "Let's get that cleaned before it gets infected."

"What does it matter?"

"Don't do that to yourself, Dimitri, do not blame yourself," he was giving an order, not advice.

For once in my life, I refused to obey a direct order.

"It is my fault, I was the one who was supposed to die. I forgot to finish reloading my gun, I was the one being aimed at, I was the one, not him!" my voice grew louder with each word.

"Ben is the one who pulled the trigger that killed him, not you. Mason put himself in that spot, you didn't ask him too, you didn't force him. _He made that choice._ You can not blame yourself for that."

"No greater love hath a man, than that man lay down his life for his friends," tears fell as the words left my lips.

"You get it now," I nodded sadly, "What did Mason tell you a few weeks ago when he read you the right act after Neil?"

I recalled the conversation with him, chuckling to myself as I think about how badly he chewed my ass, but it worked.

"He told me to pull my head out of my ass and man up. Saying that Neil wouldn't want me to act like I was in his memory, sulking over the fact that I couldn't save him."

"Do you think he would want you to do the same thing with him?" I nodded my head, "Then pull your head out of your ass and man up," he chuckled.

"Mase always had a way with words," I laughed with him.

"That he did, he was a unique one, that's for sure, remember that. When you put back on that uniform and you switch your sirens on to run to the next call, remember him beside you singing bad boys at the top of his lungs. Remember his eagerness for all the shitty calls that no one else wanted. Remember him, in all his goofy moments, hell even the bad ones. You have a lot of memories with him, focus on those, cherish them, and remember him."

Emil continued to clean my arms, pulling all the little pieces of glass from my arm and feet. After a generous coat of peroxide, he wrapped it tightly and ordered me to keep it clean.

"Take your time off, process what happened, because we still have one out there that needs to be caught," with that Emil took his leave.

Thinking about my father, I tried to keep the monster inside at bay, for now. How he was connected to Ben and what part he played in all of this had me stumped. Make no mistake, I will find him when I do, he will not walk away breathing this time. I am not thirteen anymore and Rose will not be there to stop me.

I composed myself enough to manage to put on simple clothing and went back downstairs. Catching Rose eye, she looked terrified. I could tell she thought I was headed right back down the road I had been on with Neil. I would do everything I can to not let that happen. She stood from her spot at the table, coming to stand in front of me.

"I am so- so sorry, Roza," I didn't even know what I was apologizing for at this point. Mason's death, my break down upstairs, or simply for scaring her.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, I pulled her tighter to my body. Taking in the scent of her hair, the strength of her grip on me. She was giving me what little she had to offer, her support, she would hold me up when I felt like falling. This woman was the greatest gift the world could have given me, other than my two amazing children, she is dealing with the same pain I am, but she is holding herself together for my benefit.

"Don't lock up again, that's all I ask. I know you will need some time and space, but please, please, do not hide your pain from me this time," she looked directly into my eyes, begging me.

"I promise," I gave her a gentle kiss, seeling that promise, "You can't either though, Roza, I know you're hurting, you don't have to bottle up to protect us."

She only nodded, I knew she planned on doing exactly that, but we will cross that bridge when it comes, she will break sooner or later and I will be there to hold her, just like she is for me right now.

"We have to tell them."

"I am pretty sure Misha already knows, but your right, better sooner than later."

I went to grab a glass of water, Rose taking the kids into the living room. Sitting down, I pulled Sasha into my lap, Rose holding onto Misha. I didn't know how to tell them, how to make it so they understand, but don't know exactly what happened. We weren't raising them under any certain religion or belief so I needed to phrase this just right for them not to question too much. Rose being ever so brave, started for me.

"Papa and I have to tell you guys something," she took a deep breath, "Last night, Papa and Uncle Mason had to deal with a really bad guy. The bad guy hurt both of them."

Sasha looked at me, noticing the bandage on my arm, though it was less when I got home, she hadn't seen it at all yet. Misha gave me a curious look, he, however, did know that it was a new bandage.

"Is Uncle Mason okay," Sasha asked.

"He isn't in any pain anymore, but he had to go away," I willed my voice to stay even, but it started to break at the end.

"Why he could have come here, we would have helped him," she was so loving, it broke my heart.

I looked at Rose, she didn't know how to say it either. Misha had a sullen look on his face, he knew what was coming, but Sasha was none the wiser. Not knowing what else to say, I went with the oldest story in the book, even if we didn't teach it to our children, Mase was a faithful man.

"Uncle Mason had to go see Jesus, he was the only one that could help him."

Rose was crying again, no matter how much she wanted to keep her tears hidden, they fell in a steady stream. My own eyes welled and spilled with her.

"Is he ever coming back?"

"No, Malyshka, he has a new home now," Rose whispered.

"But he didn't say goodbye, we always say goodbye," Sasha was crying now.

"He told me to tell both of you he loves you very very much and he will always be with you, you just have to remember him and he will right here," I touched her heart.

"It's not the same," she all but yelled, jumping out of my lap she ran up to her room.

"Give her time," Rose whispered, I nodded back.

"Did you get the bad guy, Papa?" Misha finally spoke.

"Yeah, buddy, we did," I gave a weak smile.

He nodded and climbed off of Rose, heading up to his own room.

"So what happens now?"

Rose and I moved into the kitchen, I was trying and failing to eat something. Food was not at the forefront of my mind right now, though I knew I hadn't eaten in well over twelve hours.

"Chief ordered a week off for those of us on the call, then we go back and try to find Randall."

"I don't see how he got mixed up in all of this. Nathan, I understand, but Randall?"

"I know, I am hoping Nathan can provide some insight there," I was at a loss, he was my only lead.

"How is he?"

"Stable, but sedated at the moment. Doctors said he should be awake in a few days. They messed him up pretty good."

She nodded, "When your ready, I want to know what happened, everything," her voice low and sorrowful.

"Okay," I consented with a heavy sigh.

There would be no point in keeping it from her, besides, she deserves to know how it all went down. I just needed time to process myself before driving the knife back into my heart.

"I'm going to check on Sasha, do you want to take Misha or you want me to talk to him too."

"No, I'll take care of him."

We walked up to their rooms, parting at the hall in different directions, giving each other one last look as we knocked on their doors.

"Malyshka," I called out softly as I opened the door.

My heart lurched out of my chest. She was laying in her bed, the stuffed bear Mason bought her when she was born clutched tightly to her chest, a photo of them on her night table. I sat on the end of her bed, rubbing circles on her back. She was much like me in her attitude, I would imagine she would be like me now. I sat with her until she wanted to talk, never stopping the caress on her back, she needed comfort, love, and time, lots of time.

"Why did he die?"

I was surprised when she spoke, "I can't tell you why, milaya, there is no answer to that, but what I can tell you is he saved my life."

She looked up at me confused, "How?"

"The bad guy, well he was trying to hurt me, but Uncle Mase stopped him from doing that."

"He's Superman," she smiled weakly, "When I was little, you were gone and he used to tell me stories about how he helped people. I told him he was Superman, he always saves the day."

Her eyes lit up with the memory, but you could see how much pain that memory caused her. Looking at her now, knowing how badly it hurts for her to lose her Uncle, I couldn't imagine if it had been me. If I would have been the one to fall last night, how would she have felt then? I didn't ponder that thought for too long, lest I set myself back yet again. I need to remember that he didn't take a bullet for me to sulk and ruin my marriage and family, he took it so I could come home to them. He would live on in us, all of us and that is what mattered.

* * *

 _ ****Break****_

The week flew by, I didn't know if it was Mason's funeral or the fact that as soon as I go back I will be hunting my sperm donor, that made it go by so quickly. Rose and I got the kids dressed and we headed to the City Center. It seemed like just yesterday we were here to say goodbye to Neil, now Mason. I was nowhere near over his death, I wouldn't be for a very long time, but I kept him steady telling me in my head that I need to live to make his sacrifice worth it. I would not allow his selflessness to go to waste. Rose had written another song for him, I didn't know how she planned to make it through, but she assured me she could. We sat together with Eddie and Jill in the front row, Eddie's mother and father next to them. Since Mason had no blood family, we filled their shoes. Sasha and Misha were holding their own pretty well, but they both have had their breakdowns over the last week. Eddie and I both made speeches, neither of us able to do it without shedding tears. Over the last few days, Rose and the kids have filled me in on just how much Mason was there when I was on the road. He played dad for me, he was there for the nightmares, the boo-boo's, the terrible twos, all the things I wasn't able to be there for. I owed him more than my life, I owed him everything. After we concluded our speeches, it was time for Rose to take the stage. She looked at me, I could see the pain in her eyes as the music started. I handed Misha to Eddie and walked up the stairs to stand behind my wife, lending her what little strength I had left, to make it through.

I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one call away

Call me, baby, if you need a friend

I just wanna give you love

Come on, come on, come on

Reaching out to you, so take a chance

No matter where you go

You know you're not alone

I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one call away

Come along with me and don't be scared

I just wanna set you free

Come on, come on, come one

You and me can make it anywhere

For now, we can stay here for a while, ay

'Cause you know, I just wanna see you smile

No matter where you go

You know you're not alone

I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one call away

And when you're weak I'll be strong

I'm gonna keep holding on

Now don't you worry, it won't be long, Darling

And when you feel like hope is gone

Just run into my arms

I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one, I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one call away

I'm only one call away

As she finished, she leaned back into me, looking down at the casket that held her best friend. I looked over to our family and friends. Ivan and Vika, Lissa and Christian, Eddie and Jill, Adrian and Sydney, and even Mia flew in. They all felt the same way we did, he was our friend, our family, we would never forget him.

After the services and burial, Mama took the kids home and we all went out to dinner. Sitting around the table, sharing stories of memories we had with him. It was nice to sit and laugh thinking back to all the good times we had. Even some of the bad, mainly coming from Rose from their very early years. It was almost like we could feel him sitting there with us, he would never truly be gone.

Dinner wrapped up and we all headed our separate ways, Eddie catching me before I got in my unit.

"We start back tomorrow, are you ready to go down this road?"

"Beyond, that man has done nothing but cause pain in my life, I won't let him do any more damage."

"Alright, bright and early, six a.m sharp, we will go see Nathan and see what intel he can give us."

"Yes, Sir." I opened my door, but he called out one last request.

"Oh, and Dimitri, have Abe meet us, I think he may be able to help."

* * *

A/N:

I promise this is the last heartbreaking, tear-jerking chapter for a good while. We are moving onto the next phase of this story, and I am most excited about this part. Lots of action in store for our Heros in blue! As always, leave your thoughts and I will see you guys in a few days for the next update.

Song Used: One Call Away- Charlie Puth- I don't own that either, but there is a link to the Police Tribute on my facebook.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

_**Thank you for all the reviews, I am so happy to see the response this story is getting, let's crack 100 guys, only 10 more!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Plot!**_

 _ **Chapter Fifteen**_

 _ **DPOV**_

I hadn't questioned Eddie's comment about Abe being able to help, but when we all arrived at the station that morning, I couldn't stop myself. All Eddie would say is that Abe had resources that not even our department could reach out to and get a response. Which was very true, but what did Eddie know about them.

"Come on, Son, it's about time we filled you in on the family business," Abe laughed.

Okay, now I am intrigued. We walked in, side by side, to the conference room, Chief Petrov, Lt. Matthews, and Detective Moore were all waiting on us.

"Alberta, looking young as ever, how have you been darling," Abe bellowed.

"Very well, Mr. Mazur, though I would appreciate you addressing me by my title during work," she gave a forced smile. She obviously didn't like working with him for some reason or another.

"My apologies, Chief," he gave her a smile of his own, "Now, I thought you told your Officers about me when the signed on. How has my own son not been informed?"

"We stopped doing that, it was scaring off too many people," Moore stepped in.

"Can someone please just tell me what is going on?"

"Belikov, He's a hitman," Emil said matter of factly.

"I prefer the term Bounty Hunter, Hitman sounds so- so.." he tried to find the right word, Petrov had one for him.

"Illegal?" she rose her brow.

"Well, Yes I suppose, but I am not paid to kill, I am paid to find and apprehend, whatever means necessary."

"Ivan was right, You're a freaking Mob Boss," I stared at him, unable to fully accept the news that was just dropped on me. "How?"

"I have a team of finely skilled ex-Marines, they do all the work for me. My hands are clean, Son. We are contracted through several State and Federal Agencies to apprehend suspects that they can't seem to catch. As long as they are caught, they don't care how they are returned to their departments."

"Are we contracted with him?" I asked Petrov.

"No, not anymore," she scowled.

"Yet, here you are asking for my assistance now," he quipped right back.

"We wouldn't have too, had you not let him go the first time!"

"Wait, What?" I was growing more and more confused.

"Sit back and relax, D, this is going to be a hell of a story," Eddie whispered.

I stared around the table, first at Eddie, how did he know about all of this and I didn't. Then at Chief, what did she mean _he let him go the first time_ , was she talking about Randall. Next, Emil and Ethan, they both looked like they wanted to be anywhere but here. Lastly, Abe, how much of his life has he kept hidden from me, I am married to his daughter for fuck's sake. Wait, does she know?

"Dimitri, Seventeen years ago, I made the worst mistake of my career, I gave a criminal a chance," he took a deep breath and looked into my eyes, "When I got rid of Randall, I had a choice to make, let him live and keep your hands clean, or apprehend him and risk you spending the rest of your juvenile and part of your adult life in prison. I could have easily had him put away for assault on your mother, but that would have only been a handful of years. He would have been released and we would still be in this same situation, maybe not this extreme, but he would still have been able to come back. If I had done that, he would have pressed charges on you as well, and you got him pretty good, Son. You would have been arrested and most likely trialed as an adult and sent to jail." he took a moment to keep his train of thought, my mind, however, was running in different directions.

"I let him go, making sure he knew exactly what I was capable of should he ever return and attempt harm on anyone in your family again. I had one of my P.I's track him for five years, every move he made, I knew about. He went back to Russia and remained there during that time. I called my investigator off after nothing showed he would be coming back stateside. Every so often I looked into him, he went off grid about ten years ago, I nor, any of my investigators could find him, we presumed him to be deceased."

"But he wasn't, just like Ben, you wrote him off as dead and now he is back and trying to kill me! _How many times are you going to fuck me over, Abe!_ " I yelled the last part in Russian.

I was out of my chair and raging back and forth in the room. He let him go, he could have handled him like these other people and none of this would be happening, but he let him go.

" _Do not accuse me of doing this on purpose! Would you have rather spent your life behind bars, or accomplish everything you have? I made a mistake, I will own up to that, but do not say that I did it on purpose to hinder your life!"_ his tone took on the sinister edge, low and menacing,

" _You're a liar! That is all you do, you're a fucking hitman and you can't even take care of the one person who was a threat to your family. Or wait, I guess I wasn't your family back then, I didn't matter."_

" _You have always been my son. You wouldn't have Rose, Sasha or Misha if I had made a different choice, would you rather of had your family or a jail cell?"_

" _Why didn't you just fucking kill him, Abe, you seem to have no regard for killing other people if that's what it takes, Why not him?"_

" _Because I was begged not to If I would have known this would be the result I would have told her no."_

" _Told who?"_

" _Tatiana, his sister, she is the head of the FBI. I couldn't very well go against an order from her."_

He was hiding something, Abe takes orders from no one, ever. She had something on him, but what? I wasn't prepared for the answer I would receive.

" _She told me if I killed him she would be sure I never saw my daughter again."_

" _She threatened Rose and you let her?"_

" _No, not Rose."_ he paused, realizing he just unveiled something he didn't mean to, I waited for him to explain, _"Olivia Ivashkov, my oldest."_

I stopped dead in my tracks, my jaw hit the floor, what did he just say? He has another daughter, Rose has a sister, and why did that name sound familiar?

" _Son, this is not the time and place to continue this conversation. Just know I had my reasons for doing what I did."_ his voice had calmed, but my anger was still spiked.

" _Don't call me your Son. You have lied to me, betrayed my trust, you are no father of mine."_

I left the room with no more than a glance to Eddie, he knew where I would be headed. Mase and I used to spend many hours here after bad days, the department gym. The smell of battered old leather and sweat mingled in the air. It was deserted at this time in the morning, with all the first shift units on the street, no one else would be in until the afternoon. Wrapping my hands, I took the punching bag. _Right, left, right right, left, right, left left, right._ The rhythmic sound of the combinations soothed me, drowning out the ramblings in my mind. I put myself into a trance, nothing around me mattered, just me, the punching bag and the constant cycle of hits.

" _What are you doing, D?"_

The blood in my veins froze, I halted my movements, looking around for the source of the voice. The gym was empty. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

" _D."_

Keeping my eyes closed, I answered the voice, "What?"

" _What are you doing?"_

"What does it look like, I'm working out," I scoffed.

" _No, with Abe, why are you fighting with him."_

"He's a liar. He's been one my whole life, I should have never trusted him."

" _He's your father, he was protecting you."_

"Father's don't lie to their children, he is _not_ my father."

" _So you have never lied to Lexi or Mikey to keep them safe?"_

I thought about it, I guess I have, but that was stuff they never needed to know anyway. They didn't need to know about the bad things that happened at work, they were too young for that.

"It's not the same," I said to myself.

" _Isn't it though, he was protecting you, and Rose, he didn't do it to hurt you. He can help you now, let him. Talk about the issues later, but time is short, D, don't waste it fighting an old battle."_

"Even in death, you're going to lecture me?"

" _Yupp! You will never be rid of me, Belikov."_

I let out a heavy sigh, "I miss you, Mase."

"I miss him too," Eddie called out, I turned to see him standing in the doorway, "What happened in there? Abe left and wouldn't tell us."

"It's not my place to tell his secrets," I took another deep breath, holding it for several seconds, "Are we ready to go see Nathan?"

The drive to the hospital took longer than usual. My mind was still reeling from what Abe had confessed, then hearing Mason talk to me, my mental state was all over the place. I was angry at Abe, every day I find out something new he has kept hidden from me or Rose, and I don't know when enough will be enough. Then again, I need him right now. He is obviously good at what he does, so I need him to catch Randall. I would not rest until I had him. Then I was sad but tried to smile knowing he was still here pestering me. It sounded so real, if I just kept my eyes closed, I could see him standing there, that look of "You know I'm right" on his face. I chuckled to myself at the thought.

"Did Rose get the paperwork yet?" Eddie asked pulling me from my imagination.

"Yeah, she signed everything to have his insurance deposited into the savings account we have for the kids. She wants to make a scholarship in his name to be given at St. Vlad's."

"That's a good idea. I was going to talk to you both about maybe doing a charity event for him, sending the proceeds to Second Chance, he used to volunteer there," his tone dropped a few levels.

"We can get together for dinner sometime soon, talk it over."

"How is she holding up, and the kids?"

"Sasha still cries every night, Misha is okay, only because he doesn't have the memories of him like Sasha does. Rose, well, she is...making it. She keeps everything bottled up during the day, then cries when we are alone. She is trying to be strong for everyone, but I know sooner or later it's going to hit her, and she will break."

"Just make sure she knows you're there, and me too, we will help her through it."

We pulled into the parking lot just then, so I only nodded. Nathan's room was in the back of the fourth floor, so we climbed into the elevator and made our journey. He had recovered well over the last week, and scheduled to be released in the next day or so. We still hadn't come up with a plan on where he would stay. We needed him here to help with the investigation, but he had to be protected. If Randall finds out that he is still alive, he will become another target. My original plan was to ask Abe, seeing how he has plenty of room and Randall wouldn't think to look there, but now I am second guessing myself on that. Finally making it to his room, I knocked lightly on the door.

"Nathan, It's Dimitri," I poked my head in just enough to see him sitting up on the bed, cuffs attached to both hands.

"Can you take these off, please, I promise I am not going to run. I have nowhere to go anyways."

I took out my handcuff key and unlocked his binds, I could see he was telling the truth. Eddie stood in the corner by the door, while I made a home on the chair by his bed. He rubbed the red spot on his wrist gingerly, rotating them to get the feeling back. His eyes remained downcast, he wasn't looking forward to this conversation any more than I was. I didn't even know where to start, so I figured the beginning was best.

"Nathan, I need to know everything you can tell me about how Randall got involved with this."

"Is that his name?" I nodded, "Huh? He never told us. I don't know exactly how, but Ben told me he met him in Michigan, some other world community where people with "odd habits" gathered, whatever that means."

"Your brother was a sexual sadist, his view of the world was a bit different than yours or mine," I commented lightly, I didn't want to dwell on that though, so I continued the questioning. "Did you guys move around together or was he doing his own thing?"

"Ben...Ben and I stayed together, but the old man did what he wanted. Ben was so focused on getting to Rose," he looked down again, "he never cared what he was doing."

I could see the pain of talking about Ben, and the mention of Rose, he was ashamed to admit this to me. I can't say that I blame him, he didn't want to participate in what his brother was doing, but blood is thicker than water, or so they say.

"Do you know where he was staying, if he was using an alias or anything that can help us find him?"

"He stayed in a hotel as far as I know, but he moved around a lot. I was in charge of driving the rental so when he needed a ride or anything, I would pick him up. It was always a different location each time."

"Did he ever mention anyone other than myself to you?"

"I don't know if it was a name or a thing, it was another language," he concentrated, trying to remember the words. "Zmey."

"Did he say anything else about that?" I should have figured Abe would be on his list too, after all, he is the one responsible for him having to leave.

"все, что он любит, умрет вместе с ним," he kept his eyes closed, mine went wider. "Did I say it right?"

"Yeah, I understood," my words soft as I processed the words.

"What does it mean?" Eddie spoke up.

"All he loves will die with him."

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

Dimitri went back to work this morning, so I was busy making plans for his surprise when he got home. I had been thinking all week how to tell him about the pregnancy, but nothing seemed good enough. I mean, I can never top the baseball announcement, that was off the chart awesome, but I couldn't just tell him either. He needed a nice surprise with how much he has been going through, we all have been through. After checking a thousand Pinterest boards, I finally found one that I thought would be cute, but meaningful at the same time. I got the kids to help me cut the shapes and letters, sticking them to the cardboard. I would hang it on his closet door, next to his duty belt stand I got him.

"We're getting a little brother or sister?" Sasha asked as we started gluing the pieces together.

"Yupp, in about seven months," I smiled at her.

"Why do we have to wait so long, I want to meet them now," Misha whined.

"Because it has to grow in Mama's belly," Sasha answered.

"So it's like when you told us if we eat a watermelon seed it will grow in our stomach?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, just like that."

I teamed up with Mama and had two loaves of black bread made, the whole house smells amazing. Then we cooked his favorite dish, pelmeni, and a nice borscht to warm us up. It was mid-November now and the nights were getting chillier, perfect weather for soup. He was due to be home any minute, so with the last few touches made for dinner, I sat down with the kids in the living room and waited. On cue, he walked in at six p.m on the dot, his shoulders hung forward a little, he had a hard day, but he took one sniff of the aroma in the air and threw his head back.

"Have I ever said how absolutely amazing you are, Roza? That smells unbelievable."

He came over to give me a kiss, then the kids.

"It is ready as soon as you shower and change," I smiled.

He gave me another kiss and headed up the stairs. The kids and I exchanged smiles and bounced in our seats, waiting to hear him. After a few minutes of him not returning, I was wondering if he went straight to the bathroom. He usually takes everything off in the room, hanging it all in precision order, then goes to the shower. Sasha and Misha looked at me, wondering the same thing I was, why hasn't he said anything? I got up to go check on him, just a peek to see if he had seen it or not. I opened the door slowly, sticking my head in just enough to see him. He had his back to the door, the poster in his hand, staring at it like it was an illusion.

"Comrade?"

He looked up, seeing my face, he was on his feet and picking me up off the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist, no easy task since he still had his belt on, and my arms around his neck.

"I thought you were mad, you looked like someone took your puppy," I laughed.

"No I am surprised, when did you find out?" his smile lit up the room.

"About three weeks ago, I was trying to find a special way to tell you."

"You could have just said, "Guess what, we're having a baby," he laughed.

"That's too easy, don't you know me at all, Comrade."

"I'd hope so, I love you, Roza. You have no idea how badly I needed some good news."

"Rough day," I asked, climbing down so he could finish getting undressed.

"Yeah, you could say that," his eyes took on a faraway look, recalling the events of his day. "I will fill you in on what I can, but we need to sit down and have a talk with your father soon."

"What happened?"

"Nothing bad, it's just… he has some things he needs to tell you about," he went to hang his belt, "Where is my rack?"

"Look inside the door," I pointed.

"Roza, you are too much," he pulled the stand from the closet.

It had his badge number and name engraved on the front. On the left, it had a spot for his belt, his vest on the right. On top was a keep safe lock box, for his pistol and next to it a stand for his radio to charge. It was far better than him hanging everything over the door.

"You can put it where ever you want, I just hid it there for you to find."

"Thank you, for everything," he put his hand over my stomach and gave me another chaste kiss.

"You're welcome, now hurry up and shower, dinner will be getting cold soon."

Dinner was enjoyed with lots of laughs and stories. The kids were overjoyed with telling their Papa how they helped make the poster and they knew before he did. I could see the light returning to his eyes, the smile never leaving his face. I was getting my husband back, and I couldn't be happier.

"Did everyone know before me," Dimitri asked as we cleaned up.

"No, I only told the kids cause they helped. Suzanne guessed at dinner with the family, and I told Mason that same night because I needed him to know how much I needed you to be safe."

"I knew he was hiding something from me," he chuckled, I gave him a curious look, "The night of the SWAT call, I asked him what you talked to him about at Abe's. He looked like he was hiding something, he only told me you made him promise for me to make it home."

"Well, he didn't lie," I laughed, "I told him I was going to tell you after everything settled down."

"So we need to tell our parents still," he questioned.

"You sound like a sixteen-year-old," I laughed, "Yes, we have to tell our parents."

"Let me guess, you have a way to do that too, right?"

"That I do," I laughed.

The kids and I headed out to Dimitri's patrol unit out front. I sat Misha and Sasha on the roof, their feet hanging over the side, with the poster in front of them. I sat on the hood while Dimitri got the timer on the camera set up. Once it was ready, he came to sit behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I uploaded it to the computer and sent it out to our family and friends.

"You know, you're going to have to top yourself next time," he chuckled.

"Uh, there will be no next time, Comrade, this is it."

"Sure, that's what you said after Sasha was born, and Misha."

"Well, I guess that means you won't be getting anymore then," I gave him a saucy look.

"Don't even joke like that, Rose."

I just laughed and headed to get the kids ready for bed.

* * *

Authors Note:

* * *

Yay! So Dimitri knows about the baby, Nathan has given us a little bit of information and Abe has dropped the bombshell of news. Anyone see the change starting in Dimitri yet? The line will only get harder to walk. As always, share your thoughts and leave a review, next chapter will be up in a day or so.

Side Note: I just bought Succubus Blues (another book) and started it today, I can't believe I hadn't found it before now! You should check it out, I am loving it!


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**_This is a little shorter than normal, mainly just a little filler chapter to get the insights for what is to come. As always, I own nothing but the plot and R &R, we are almost at 100 reviews for this story and I can not express how happy that makes me. You guys are truly wonderful and I am so thankful to be able to write this for you all! _**

_**Chapter Sixteen**_

 _ **RPOV**_

Ivan and Vika took Sasha and Misha to the aquarium for the day, while Dimitri and I headed to Dad's house. Apparently, there is some huge deal going on between the two of them and it is causing a lot of tension in the investigation. Dimitri wouldn't tell me what was going on with him and Dad, saying it was his story to tell. But he did fill me in on the conversation with Nathan, that showed a bit of light, though it also raised a heep of new questions.

"So where is he going to stay?"

"Eddie is checking with Chief, we have a witness protection program, but I don't know if they are willing to assign him to it."

"This may sound crazy, but what if he stayed with us?"

"I thought about it, but if Randall see's him here, that will only fuel the fire. I don't want you and the kids in any more danger than you already are. Eddie said if Chief denies the request, he will take him in for now."

"That's nice of him."

Dimitri only nodded, that was the end of that conversation I guess. We completed the drive in silence, letting the newly found information settle. I was preparing myself for what was to come. What could Dad have to tell me that has Dimitri so on edge, something he couldn't tell me. However, no amount of preparation would have made the news any less shocking.

"Wait, wait, wait, I have a sister, go back to that," I was baffled.

"Before I met your mother, I was dating Tatiana, she is actually the one who introduced Janine and I. We had a brief relationship that ended almost as soon as it started. She didn't tell me I had gotten her pregnant till well after the child was born. By that time, I was engaged to your mother and you were born only a year and a half later."

"Does she know about you, or me?"

"Yes, I met her first when she was five, right before your mother and I married. She had no idea who I was, and it was hard for her to understand at such a young age. I stayed in contact with Tatiana, recieved updates and pictures until she was around thirteen. When your mother retired, Tatiana had brought her to the gathering, that was the last time I saw her until she was eighteen. Rose, you have to understand, I didn't abandon her, I didn't keep her from you on purpose."

"So can I meet her now? And what does all this have to do with Randall?" I was still confused how he fit into this, and with the sister news, I couldn't put it all together.

"You already have," his voice low, I wasn't sure I heard him right.

"When?"

"Olivia Ivashkov, she was the Doctor that took care of you after the..incident."

"I knew that name sounded familiar, she told me she was related to Adrian. She knew who you were then," Dimitri exclaimed, Dad nodded.

"I called her when we found you, I knew she worked at the hospital in the next city. She came over to take care of you."

"And Randall?" he kept ignoring that question, I wanted an answer, and now.

Dad looked to Dimitri, who's anger was a millisecond from snapping, taking a deep breath he turned back to me.

"Randall is Tatiana's little brother when she found out what Dimitri did, she was on Randall's side in pressing charges. She told me if I let him go, didn't pursue the charges or send my team after him, she would leave Dimitri alone. If I didn't she would make sure I never saw Olivia again, even if she was of legal age, Tatiana is not a woman you cross. Plus, she would have had Dimitri arrested. I didn't want to risk him being trialed as an adult and sent to prison, so I let Randall go, but not before making sure he and Tatiana knew if he ever came back, all bets were off."

"So you're going to kill him now? How does that make anything better?"

"He can't just get away with what he did Rose, justice needs to be served for those he has hurt," Dad growled, Dimitri nodded in agreeance.

"Let the courts handle him then, murdering a cop is the death penalty in Texas."

"You would rather him stay alive in jail?"

"I would rather my father and husband not murder someone in cold blood! It's one thing if he was aiming a gun at you and you shot first, but you are talking about hunting him for sport."

"No, I am doing what I am paid to do, apprehend a criminal. Dead or Alive, I will catch him," Dad argued.

"But you prefer dead, right? Killing more people is not going to bring them back, _nothing_ is going to give me my brother back. You made your bed now lay in it, catch him, if it comes down to you or him, I can understand, but don't kill him out of spite. That makes you no more of a man than he is," I spit the last words at him, standing up, I took my leave.

I needed to be away from both of them, I headed out back for some fresh air. Making home under the old oaks shade, I thought about everything I was just told. First, I have a sister, which is also Dimitri's cousin, that's weird. I wasn't mad about that though, surprised but not mad, it was before he was married to mom and he wasn't even told about her for years so that I am okay with. Then we have the fact that Dad let Randall go to protect Dimitri, okay I understand that but I was sure he could have gotten him out of the charges, but we will never know how that may have played out. Now they want to hunt him down and kill him. I can't understand that, I mean I want him to pay for what he did, to Olena, Dimitri, Mason, Neil, all of them, but I can't get on board with killing him out of revenge. Murder of a police officer is Capital Punishment in Texas, he would get the death penalty. Before that, he would rot in a cold hard jail cell, I think that would be a better punishment. Killing him will just send him to the other world, it won't magically make everything better, so why do it.

I turned my face up to the sky, the sun was shining brightly, bathing everything in a golden glow. I closed my eyes, feeling the soft breeze against my face, the fresh smell of grass, the sound of birds chirping. I was at peace in this very moment. I hadn't allowed myself a whole lot of time to process what happened with Mason. I spent my days trying to keep myself busy, lest I think too much about him, the nights, however, were harder. I let my guard down a few times, always when I was alone or with Dimitri. Never in front of the kids, though, I had to be strong for them. Sasha was still crying every night, Misha was just quite a lot, neither of them was close to having accepted their Uncle's death.

"Milaya," the soft Russian accent drifted to my ears, opening my eyes, Dimitri stood about ten feet away.

"How can you be okay with that? You're an Officer, meant to protect and serve, how can you encourage and engage in that?"

"I want justice, for Neil and Mason, for my family, for you," he countered.

"Who is it really for though it's not for us, it's for you, _you_ want revenge. That's not who you are, Comrade," I kept my voice low, tone soft, I didn't want to fight with him. Things were finally looking up for us, the last thing I wanted was to argue.

"What are you saying? That I can't be upset about what happened because of him, that I can't want to right the wrongs he has made?"

"Their not your wrongs to right, Dimitri!" I stood from my tranquil spot, needing to move before I exploded in the confines he was putting me in, "You don't have to fix everything, especially not like this. Find him, bring him in, and let the judge be his maker," I reasoned.

"You don't get it, Rose," he yelled.

I moved to stand right in front of him, staring up and right into his eyes. He wants to pick a fight, but I won't give him the satisfaction.

"What don't I get, Dimitri? Do you want to tell me I don't get what it is like to watch someone I love die? I watched my mother fade away every day until she stopped breathing. You want to tell me I don't get what it's like to lose a friend or a partner? Mason was there for me when you were off traveling the states to play baseball. He was there to help raise _your_ children with me. He was my best friend since I was five, Dimitri, twenty-three years I have known him and he gave his life to save yours. Do you really think that he would want you to hunt Randall down and kill him to avenge his death."

Surprisingly, I was still rather calm, I kept my tone level, not raising it at any point. I wanted to yell, I wanted to scream at him, but what good is it going to do?

"I want him to pay, I want him to hurt like he hurt my mother," he growled.

"Then let him rot in jail for the rest of his miserable life. Killing him only makes everything stop, he won't be in pain, he won't be suffering. If he is alive and in jail, at least he has to live with the choices that got him there."

"If it's him or me, I won't hesitate," his voice was still cold, but not as angry.

"I wouldn't expect you too like I said before if it comes down to a choice, your life matters more than his, but don't do it out of revenge, that isn't what Mase would want."

His head fell, he knew I was right.

"Remember why you became a cop in the first place, Comrade, to help people, to make a difference in the world, be a hero," he nodded, "I know it can't be easy dealing with him again but don't let your past ruin your future." I put a finger under his chin, lifting his eyes back to meet mine, "Promise?"

"I promise, Roza."

I moved to my toes, giving him a soft kiss, "Now, let's go talk more about this sister of mine."

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

After Rose read Abe and I the right act, we contacted Chief and started making plans and arrangements to locate Randall. Nathan was situated in a safe house, not even I knew where it was, and Eddie and I were contacting any possible lead we could. Starting with tracing his steps through the city, each hotel, rental company, even gas stations and grocery stores. We weren't coming up with much, but I refused to give in. I promised Rose I would catch him and bring him in, that was my one and only goal right now. It's been two weeks and nothing. No new leads, no sightings, not even a "love letter" from him. He vanished off the map and I have no idea where to find him.

"We're pulling you off the case," Petrov spoke to Eddie and I, we exchanged a look before speaking at the same time.

"Why?"

"With no new leads, you are needed back on patrol, both of you. Detective Moore will continue working the case, but for now, I need you both back on the street."

"Will we at least be kept in the loop of anything he finds, or are we being pulled completely?" I asked.

"If it is of importance, you will be notified," her tone held no room for negotiations.

I was not okay with this, but in the end, she is my superior and I have to abide by what she says. I wasn't looking forward to being back on patrol, it would be the first time since Mason died. I knew it would come some day, but I was hoping to have Randall put away first. The only positive thing about this whole situation was I was now on day shift. I would work six a.m to two p.m. Leaving me with the entire afternoon and evening with my family. Rose is coming into her second trimester, so the mood swings are a little crazy right now, but her libido should rise here soon, that I was looking forward too.

"2231, show me in service, covering ten area, anything holding," I checked in.

"2231, received, and negative, nothing holding at the moment," Tasha answered.

It was nice to hear her voice again, she was just as torn up as the rest of us over that last few weeks. I had taken to seeing the department phyciatrist, meeting with her in a group session twice a week. It was a new experience, but I was grateful to have others to talk too. Rose had contacted Deidre again, needing to see her a time or two over the last month. We also found a child counselor for the kids, helping both with the loss they felt and Misha's nightmares, he hasn't had any since that night. Overall, things at home were going well, but I couldn't help but feel on edge like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The day progressed at an excruciatingly slow pace, there was nothing going on in the entire city. I knew better than to utter the Q-word, but I was almost desperate enough for it. I performed a handful of traffic stops, writing tickets to each one and only took one report call. If day shift is like this every day, I may just volunteer to go back to nights. It was just before eleven, I knew Tasha would be taking her lunch break soon, so I grabbed some of my own and headed to the station to sit down with her.

"Hey stranger," she called out when I walked into their breakroom.

"Mind if I join you," I gave her a full smile, she looked better than the last time I saw her.

She gestured to the empty seat across from her and we ate in comfortable silence. If you would have told me fifteen or even five years ago that I would be friends with Natasha Ozera, I would have laughed and walked away, but she has really been great lately. I confided in her on a few things that I didn't want to talk to Eddie or Rose about, nothing major, but little things here and there.

"So how has the monster been?" referring to the ever-present anger I have held over the last few months.

"Locked up tight," I laughed, "I've been able to keep my head straight, but I feel like any moment, something is going to happen and I don't know how to prepare for it."

"You can't like I keep telling you, stop worrying about what may or may not happen," she took another large bite of her sandwich.

"I know," I mumbled, moving my salad around in the bowl, laying the fork down I took a deep breath, "I just want to know what it is."

"You will drive yourself mad, trust me," she tapped her temple, "I know."

I nodded, picking up my fork up, I finished my lunch. Tasha was watching me tentatively like she was studying me.

"What?"

"You have changed, Dimka," she whispered, I rose a brow in response.

"When you were younger, you were always so full of life, you had so many friends, but only a handful of true ones. You were the life of the party and everyone wanted to know you. Now, your just, different. You don't talk to people as much as you used to, you have closed yourself off, hiding your emotions and feelings. I'm not saying this to upset you, I just...I don't know, I guess I just miss the old you."

"Yeah, life does that to you," my reply coming out layered in thick sarcasm.

"That it does, but ultimately you decide how you let it affect you," she moved to stand, "I know you have had it rough, but you have so many people at your back, don't leave them there, let them stand beside you too."

Coming around the table, she gave me a small hug and kissed my cheek, leaving to return to work, and me to process her words. Trusting people was hard for me to do, nowadays, everyone seemed to have their own agenda and you never knew where your knowledge would fit in. Maybe I needed to trust more though, it could help in the case, help in life in general, but who? I already trust Rose with everything, even though she doesn't like some of the things I tell her. Abe, well that is another story, I am struggling to let him back in. There have been far too many instances where he has lied to me, though I know why he did it, I still have issues there. Eddie is in on everything I do, who else do I need to reach out to? My family seemed like the logical answer, but Mama and the girls would have told me if they knew anything about Randall being back in the area.

Family.

Pulling out my phone, I located the number and hit dial.

"What on earth did I do to deserve the time of the legendary Dimitri Belikov?" he bellowed into the phone.

"Oh can it, Adrian," I laughed.

"What, you never call so this must be good."

"It's kind of a long story, do you have the time or should I call back?"

"Just let me make some popcorn," I honestly couldn't tell if he was serious or not. "Alright, I am ready, lay it on me."

I took a deep breath, looking around to make sure no one was in earshot, "We didn't tell you everything about Mason's death….."

I launched into the tale, including all of the things that happened to Rose and I over the last six months because of Ben and Randall. By the time I finished, I thought he had hung up on me. The silence on the other end was vast, and I was afraid to break it.

"Wow," he breathed out, had he been holding his breath this whole time?

"I know," I mumbled in response.

"So what exactly are you wanting me to do, D?"

"I don't know if you still talk to either of your parents, but do you think there is a way you could find out if they know anything about him being back in the area?"

When Adrian and Sydney married, they took off overseas, she wanted to study in Rome, see Europe and travel. His parents and hers were not happy, to say the least, they wrote him off in more than one way. Cutting his trust fund and leaving him with no more than a few dollars in his account. They got by on her scholarship and selling his art on the street, coming home only when she finished her schooling and they were ready to settle down.

"I can try, but you know how my dad is, and mom, well she has become more submissive over the last five years if that's even possible."

"Anything will help, we have no lead on him and they have pulled me off the case, Eddie too. We need a break and you are the only other person I can think of with a connection to him that may be able to help."

"Have you tried calling Auntie?"

Oh just wait until I fill him in on that, but not yet, I needed to focus on finding Randall first.

"That's an even longer story that I really don't want to get into…" my words cut off by the tones echoing in my ear, "Adrian I have to go, please call if you get anything."

"Will do, keep safe," he signed off.

"2231 show me enroute, code three," I keyed, running down the hall toward the parking lot.

I jumped in my car, turned on my lights and siren, singing Bad Boys in my head all the way to the scene.

* * *

Author's Note:

As I said, a little shorter, but I needed to lay out a little backstory to get into the next part. Share your thoughts, and I will see you guys soon!

-Dream


	18. Chapter Seventeen

_**So I forgot to include an explanation of "Code Three" last chapter, I forget sometimes that I need to elaborate on certain things since not everyone knows off hand what it means, so "Code Three" is a priority call, which officers respond Lights and Sirens to the scene.**_

 ** _Now with that said, I know Rose reaction to finding out about Olivia wasn't what some expected, but all she wants at this point in her life to go back to normal, or as normal as it gets being a Police Wife. Then Dimitri confiding in Tasha, I know, sounds wrong right, but there is a purpose for what he tells her and not Rose or his family. He has to work through the issues he has been through, from experience I can say I confided in those I normally never would have in those situations, simply because they are an outside source. Sometimes that is easier than talking to someone who knows you all too well. I am not one for long A/N at the start but I just wanted to get that out there. Thank you for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy this story._**

 ** _As Always, I own nothing but the plot and OC._**

* * *

 _ **Chapter Seventeen**_

 _ **DPOV**_

There comes a point in an officer's life where you struggle to remember why you signed up for this job. Where you question your own sanity in the people you deal with, the situations you are called to handle. Where you feel that you aren't making the difference you had hoped for, but if you give anymore you would have nothing left. You give every part of you to a stranger, your heart, your mind and body, and they abuse and mutilate it until you yourself don't recognize the item they hold in their hands. Your soul.

Today was that day for me.

It was Tasha's observation playing on repeat in my head that caused me to take a step back and evaluate myself. Try to see from an outsiders point of view on how I got to where I am. _"You've changed,"_ I scoffed to myself, no kidding. See the things I have seen, you would change too. I didn't want too, I didn't ask for these things to happen. Okay, maybe I did, I knew the trials that came with this line of work, but that is why I took my oath. I wanted to be something more than just a baseball player. That thought sparked something in me, clearing my call, I drove in the direction of the one place that has always brought me peace. The diamond.

It wasn't quite wintering yet, we still had a few weeks, but if you didn't know any better you would believe it was prime springtime. The air was warm and breezy, the grass on the field lush and green from the year-round treatment it received. Many memories played through my mind as I looked at the old dirt mound. The sound of the game-winning home run, the cheers that rang through the stands as we walked off the win. Many long days and nights of practice to be the best. Blood, sweat, and tears were soaked into the field, holding a piece of us forever in the packed dirt. I breathed in the fresh scent, letting my mind finally close off the outside world.

Over the last six months or so, I felt like I was living on autopilot. Wake up. Go to work. Come home. Sleep. Repeat. Over and over, nothing in the day changing, except for the level of stupidity that seemed to increase with every call I took. I wasn't living anymore, I was simply existing. That isn't why I signed on to walk this line, that isn't the life I dreamt of when I took my oath. I wanted to make a difference in the world, just like Rose reminded me a few weeks ago. I wanted to be someone's hero, mainly my families, but I wanted to be the one to help those in need find themselves again. The realization hit me like a brick wall, to help others find themselves, I needed to find myself first. I needed to live, not simply exist. I needed to be a kid again.

I called out of service, made a few quick phone calls and headed back to the house to change. Half an hour later, I was digging my cleat into the packed mound.

"Come on, this is so not fair, they are professionals," Christian whined.

"What am I then, chopped liver?" Ivan contested.

"Might as well be, you play for LA," Joey chuckled.

"Fine, we will split half and half," I jumped in before feelings got hurt.

"No, No, it's fine, we will show them how a bunch of backyard boys play," Chris resigned.

My team took to the field. Christian at first, Paul on second, Adrian on Third and Eddie in the middle playing short. Trey, Ryan, and Shane made up the outfield, while I took the mound and Ivan joined our old team behind the plate. I had called Joey and he gathered nine guys to come and play a pickup game with us, they were more than willing to let loose with a game for fun, instead of money.

I dug the dull metal into the ground, again and again, creating the perfect grove for my foot to lock in to. Coming together in my wind up, I threw the first pitch of the game, hearing it hit the back of Ivan's glove with a loud "snap". That sound was music to my ears, it has been so long since I had heard it. Pitch after pitch the audible snap soothed me, three for three, I struck out my old teammates.

"Damn, D, you still got it," Ivan said as he flexed his hand open and closed.

"I can't believe I threw that well, it's been almost eight years since I pitched last," I laughed, "Now let's see if I can still hit a long ball."

I headed out to the plate, "Take it easy on me, Cash, I haven't batted in a while."

"Sure, D, No problem," He chuckled.

He _did not_ take it easy on me, I struck out swinging. I wouldn't let it upset me though, I was enjoying this too much. Looking up to the makeshift stands, I could see we gathered quite the crowd. Several younger kids that were playing on the field down from us had come over to watch. They seemed eager to see a bunch of nobody's go head to head with a professional team.

Two innings in, Rose showed up with the kids and brought a cooler full of drinks, I love that woman. Everyone else's significant other and children rolled in and before you knew it, the stands were overflowing, the game was in full swing and I was having the time of my life. For the first time in almost a decade, I let go of all my troubles, all the worries, the guilt, and the pain and let myself be free.

Nine innings later, we were tied, neither of the teams wanting to battle it out for the win. Face it, we were getting old and since my team was not made up of professional players that do this every day, we settled for a tie.

"Papa, can I play now?" Misha ran down onto the field.

The sun was about halfway into the setting, we still had about an hour of daylight left. I looked into the stands, several of the guy's kids and the ones from the other field looked like they wanted to come down and play, but didn't want to say anything. I turned around to look at the guys, with a shrug of my shoulders, we brought all the kids out to play next to us. A few more innings wouldn't kill us, right?

"The ice bath is ready when you are, Comrade," Rose giggled.

"Hush," I chided, "If I would have known I would be this sore I would never have stepped on the field."

My whole body hurt, my arm was the worse. I was sure I threw well over a hundred and fifty pitches.

"You know you loved it, don't even try to lie," she gave me a pointed look.

"I know, it was fun."

"Misha was over the moon playing with you, I think we should sign him up for T-ball this year. If you wanted, you could coach his team."

"We have a lot going on right now, Roza, I doubt I would have the time or energy to coach a bunch of four and five-year-olds."

"I know, but I think it would be good for you, let you relax and let loose for a little while," she spoke softly, "It was just a thought."

"I will think about it, but I make no promise right now," I brushed my lips against hers and headed into the ice-filled bathtub.

Rose left to get the children into bed, while I soaked in the freezing water. I could feel the soreness slowly ebb away, ending in a dull ache. Climbing out of the tub, I wrapped a towel around my waist and collapse face down on the bed. I was in no shape to move any further at this moment. I heard the bedroom door open and close, Rose's soft steps approaching me on the bed, but I didn't move. My face laid down on the plush pillow top and soft sheets, my legs hung halfway off the edge. The bed dipped on my left side, Rose's soft hands ran across my back, leaving a warm trail on my skin. She straddled my waist and moved her hands to massage my shoulders. I grunted in appreciation, her hands may be small, but they worked magic on my taut muscles.

She didn't talk, neither did I. I kept my face buried in the mattress and let her release the tension in my back. My skin was still cold, but her hands were warm, sending electrifying heat through every spot she caressed. Moving down to my lower back, she used her elbow to work a particularly difficult knot out. The pain was beyond pleasurable, leaving me wanting more. Moving from my waist, Rose pushed at my side, telling me to roll over. I hesitated only a moment, knowing once I did, she would see just what she does to me. Not that I was embarrassed by it or anything, just her moods have been out of sorts with the pregnancy. I didn't want her to think she was obligated to do anything. She moved to straddle me again, but her back facing me, she ran her hands up and down my thighs and legs. I no longer felt bad about the raging erection I had, I could see she was getting excited too. Her toned round backside was arched into the air as she reached forward to rub my legs. I sat up on my elbows, staring at the most precious parts of her body. With one hand supporting my weight, I ran my large palm over her leg, up the back of her thigh, coming to a stop on her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze. She pushed back against me, dragging her nails up my inner leg. I shivered under her touch, my cock twitching in anticipation.

"Roza," I moaned lowly.

* * *

 _ **Split POV (D-regular / R-Italics)**_

Instead of a vocal answer, she wrapped her hand around my turgid member, running her tongue around my head before taking it in her mouth. A low growl escaped my lips as I fell back onto the bed, letting her suckle on me.

 _I knew a massage would get a rise out of him, it has been too long and I was feeling needy. I could feel his chest rising and falling deeply, he was bound to lose control soon enough. As if reading my mind, knowing my wants and needs, he ran his hand back up my leg, pushing aside my already soaked boy short panties, to run his fingers in between my swollen lips. I arched back into him when his fingers came inline with my opening, pushing him to enter me. He massaged me for only a moment, I felt the loss as he removed his fingers and whispered to me._

"Come here, Milaya."

Releasing me, and rolling off to the side, I pulled her to me. I rolled onto my side and looked into her eyes, the soft deep brown that has always captivated me, shown with such love. To this day I will never understand what I did to deserve her, but I would never take advantage of it again. I have let my own anger, sorrow and fear from work strain my relationship with her, and the children. I would not let that happen again.

 _The amount of love and appreciation radiating from him was astounding. The warm melted chocolate of his eyes had returned to normal, the cold darkness was gone. I ran my hand along his hairline, pushing the few fallen strands behind his ear. The strands felt like silk between my fingers, I relished in the feeling, it had been too long. We hadn't made love since the night he took me to the Steakhouse, about three weeks or so. Even then, it wasn't sensual, it was raw passion and lust. Laying here next to him, I was complete, looking into his eyes, I could see him let go of the pain he held. Right now, at this moment, I could see the boy I fell in love with all those years ago and the man he has become._

" _I love you, Dimitri," I whispered, not taking my eyes from his._

"I love you, too, Roza."

I lowered my head to hers, brushing my lips gently across her forehead and cheeks before finishing at her lips. Every ounce of love I held for her was projected into that kiss. There was no battle for dominance, no hunger or force, it was tender and loving. Our lips moved in sync and her tongue caressed mine in gentle swipes. Rolling her to her back, I held myself above her slim body. I could see the small curve of her lower stomach, where my new child was growing. I trailed kisses down her jaw, her covered breast, down to her navel.

"YA lyublyu tebya tak mnogo uzhe malo, ya ne mogu dozhdat'sya vstrechi s toboy." (I love you so much already little one, I can't wait to meet you.) I muttered into her stomach, placing a soft kiss on the middle of her bump.

I sat back, pulling her up to take off my shirt she had thrown on earlier, before removing her panties that were saturated with her excitement. Softly, I laid her back down, positioning myself at her entrance, easing into her until I could go no further.

 _They say sex gets boring after you have been married for so long, I think that is bull shit. Dimitri makes sure that I am fully taken care of every time and do the same for him. More so than just simply reaching an orgasm every time, he manages to make me feel like the most loved and precious thing on earth. Whether we are running on animal instinct and desire, or pure slow love and passion, he treats me like I am the only thing that keeps him breathing. Which in a way, that is how I feel about him. Without him, I don't know where I would be. Still in the clutches of my demons from all those years ago, captured or dead by Ben's hand, God only knows._

 _He is moving so slowly, but I am in heaven at the feeling. Something about the sensual slow pace was just as amazing as the hard and rough. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair and bringing his face back to mine. Moving my tongue in time with his hips, my own hips rising with each thrust, meeting him time and time again. For a full hour, we stayed at that pace, never picking up or slowing down, he brought me to my climax three times before letting go himself._

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

I laid on my back, Rose curled into my side, her head laid on top of my heart. My fingers moved on their own accord, tracing random patterns along her spine. I had a stupid grin on my face that I could not get rid of. I felt like a teenager who just lost his virginity, unable to contain the utter bliss I felt with this woman beside me. For a moment I could almost forget about the threat still looming over my head. I could forget about the things I have seen and dealt with. I could forget everything that wasn't Rose, Alexandria or Michael. My family.

I knew tomorrow was a new day. I would go back to work at six, take minimal calls and write a handful of tickets. I would also have to go back to being hunted, targeted. Randall hasn't made a move, at least not that we know of, in the city since that night on Sunset. The rental vehicle they had was returned to the company and the house they were staying in was taped with Police Line everywhere. If he was still in the city he was doing a damn good job of hiding. Though I had the suspicion he was no longer here, he fled after the shootout and retreated to where ever it was that they had been before. Somewhere in Michigan was all Nathan could tell us, but we hold no jurisdiction there anyways.

Asking the FBI for assistance was out of the question. Abe reached out to Janine's old colleagues, but once they found out who we were tracking, no one wanted to help. Tatiana apparently is the main hierarchy and no one would dare go against her. Abe had several of his private investigators out doing what they do best, but as of right now, we still had nothing on him.

Tomorrow I would check in with Ethan, see if he has made any headway with the investigation, then I would make a call to Abe. He was supposed to have contacted Olivia and have her brought down here. With what Nathan told us from Randall, I wouldn't put it past him to harm his own niece in his quest for revenge. I hadn't brought it up to Rose just yet, but I had a feeling she would be more than happy to have her visit.

Looking down at Rose, she was fast asleep. I kissed her hair and drifted off with her.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

I hadn't slept that well in weeks.

Waking up that morning I felt like a new person, something was just better and brighter about myself. Reaching over I felt cold sheets, Dimitri wasn't in bed, a quick glance at the clock told me why. It was just before seven, he would have left for work over an hour ago. Stretching out, I got up and padded my way into the bathroom, in desperate need of relieving myself. I had been getting up two or three times during the night over the last month or so, but last night I didn't wake once. I went to wash my hands, looking in the mirror I could see the elegant handwriting at the top.

 _Good Morning, Beautiful. I love you._

A Cheshire cat smile donned my face, he was so sweet I felt like I needed to brush my teeth. It was the little things like that that made my day. I didn't need material things, flowers and gifts, I needed to be shown and told. He gets that about me.

Dressing and leaving my room, I checked on Sasha first. She was fast asleep clutching Mason's bear, she hasn't been without it since she was born and holds tighter to it now. She looked peaceful in her slumber, so I didn't wake her. Moving to check on Misha, he was sitting up in bed, but he didn't seem to be awake. His eyes were closed, and his breathing even, but he was sitting straight up. His nightmares had gotten better since we had him seeing a child psychiatrist, he wasn't waking up screaming, but I knew he was still seeing things. Moving to the chair beside his bed, I called out to him, attempting to get him to wake without startling him.

"Misha," no answer, "Michael," still nothing.

I sat back and watched him. After about ten minutes, he laid himself back down, still soundly sleeping. I didn't know if it would be better to wake him or let him sleep, I chose the latter. Maybe I was scared to know what was going on, or I hoped he wouldn't remember either way, he seemed at peace right now and I didn't want to ruin that. I gave his head a quick kiss and headed down to make myself something for breakfast. I would normally wake them up around eight, if they hadn't on their own, and get the day started. Today, I would let them sleep in a bit longer, they needed it.

Nine o'clock rolled around and Misha was still in bed, Sasha woke about half an hour ago. With her breakfast eaten, I set her studies up for the day and went to wake my baby boy. He was still laying in the same spot I left him two hours ago. I perched myself on the edge of his bed, gently running my fingers through his hair to rouse him. He stirred a bit before finally opening his eyes to look at me.

"Good Morning, Misha," I cooed.

"Mama," he was still groggy, his voice coming out in a soft hoarse tone.

"Did you sleep okay, baby?"

He only gave a little nod, I rubbed his side and kissed his forehead, "Good, it's time to get up and eat, I made your favorite."

He was out of bed and dressed in five minutes, the boy loved food just like I did. Both children now dressed, fed and working on their schooling, I was able to sit down and get some writing done. I had put off most of my writing, not really feeling the creative juices flowing with all the negative things that were happening. But labels and artist didn't care about what was happening in my personal life, they only wanted what they pay for. Putting one headphone over my ear, turning on my computer, I started playing around with the beat for my newest song. It was an upbeat instrumental about dealing with the monster inside. The band for this one was a little out there, but I loved writing for them. I mean, they call themselves "Imagine Dragons", for Pete's sake, but Dan, the lead man, was a pretty awesome guy. As with most of the songs I write, there is always a hidden meaning or message in them, this one had Dimitri written all over it.

Ever since I could remember,

Everything inside of me,

Just wanted to fit in (Oh oh oh-oh)

I was never one for pretenders,

Everything I tried to be,

Just wouldn't settle in (Oh oh oh-oh)

If I told you what I was,

Would you turn your back on me?

And if I seem dangerous,

Would you be scared?

I get the feeling just because,

Everything I touch isn't dark enough

If this problem lies in me

I'm only a man with a chamber who's got me,

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.

A monster, a monster,

I've turned into a monster,

A monster, a monster,

And it keeps getting stronger.

Every day I could see the battle he faced, the monster he was trying desperately to control. He was out for blood, he wanted Randall's head on a platter for what he has done, but that wasn't him. He was never a violent person, at least until you endangered his loved ones. Which Randall has in this situation, but he has never been one to go looking for the fight. He only fought when it was brought to him, to defend himself and family. I was worried about his control snapping, the monster inside coming out and not being able to be tamed. Right now, he seemed to be okay, he wasn't letting things get out of hand, yet. It was the "yet" that had me terrified for his future.

I finished with the lyrics by lunch and had both of the kids reading for their afternoon time. With Dimitri getting off at two p.m now, I tried to have them finished with school before then, giving them extra time with Papa when he got home. It was going on three by the time I heard him pull up out front. A quick look at his posture told me he was in a good mood, so why was he late?

"Afternoon, Milaya, how was your day?" he asked walking in the house.

"Decent, I got another song finished, your's?"

"Tasha is evil, but overall it was good," he laughed.

I attempted to raise a brow, curious to know what happened.

"She sent me _everywhere_ , I told her this morning that I couldn't deal with another no call day, so she sent me to every call she could. I don't think I was in my district for a single one of them."

"And that made for a good day?"

"I was busy, so it went by fast. Plus, one call was Ms. Rhonda, the crazy old lady, we had a nice conversation today about the CIA tapping into everything and watching us through our cell phone cameras."

"She's right you know," I laughed.

"Don't even start," he chuckled back, "Now, where are my little's at, Papa has a surprise!"

* * *

Author's Note:

Another slow chapter, still getting the pace set for upcoming events. I will fair warn the next couple will be on the slower side, and we will see a little POV from Randall. Hope you all enjoyed and I will update again Sunday Afternoon! Have a great rest of your week!

-Dream


	19. Chapter Eighteen

_**So for those that follow me on Facebook, you already know the hardship I am dealing with right now. For those that don't, I will fill you in. I got news Friday that we lost an officer. My heart is broken for my blue family and we are trying to deal with what happened. Without going into much detail, it was self-inflicted. I stress to my line family and I will stress to you. If you ever need someone to talk to, ever just need to vent and rant about something and can't or don't want to confide in a family member or friend, reach out to me. I am always available to listen.**_

 _ **Now, we have a longer chapter here, I for one and super excited about this one. Lots of information and happiness! As well as the short Randall POV, leave your thoughts in the reviews and I will hopefully have the next chapter up in a day or so. Bare with me right now guys, things are rough with what is going on, I am honestly surprised that I was able to finish this one right now.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and OC! Enjoy!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Eighteen**_

 _ **RPOV**_

I am pretty sure I paled about three shades as my sister walked through the door. My sister. That sounds so weird. Dimitri said he had a surprise and boy was it a good one. I had no idea they had talked to her, let alone that she was coming here. My house is a mess, the kids are running around in pajamas at three in the afternoon. I let them stay in them today, we all needed to have a little bit of lazy time. My hair look like a bird had been nesting in it, and I was only wearing one of Dimitri's old Rangers shirts. For lack of better words, I was a hot mess.

"O...Olivia," I stammered.

"Rose, I am so glad to see you," she smiled widely, coming forward to give me a hug.

I returned it, a bit half-heartedly, I was still a little dumbstruck at the fact that she was here. In my home. With my family. When I first met her all those years ago, I liked her, I talked to her about my feelings and emotions after the Ben incident. I confided in her and took her advice, all while not knowing just how invested she really was. She knew this whole time about me so she has processed the fact of having another sibling. I, however, was only told a few weeks ago and though I had met her before, this is the first time meeting her as more than a Doctor. I was nervous but excited and maybe just a tad overwhelmed.

"You too," I finally managed, turning toward Dimitri, "Can I talk to you upstairs for a minute?"

"Sure, make yourself at home Olivia, we will be right back," he gave her a small smile and followed me to our room. Before I could close the door and turn to him, he spoke up.

"I know I should have warned you, but your Dad dropped it on me today that he had got in touch with her and she was already here, I couldn't just turn her away."

"An hour or two notice would have been nice, at least then I could have cleaned up a little and put on decent clothing," I gestured to the old shirt and mess of hair.

"I'm sorry, he called right before I came off shift. I ran straight to the airport and came back here."

"Why isn't she staying with Dad?"

"Nathan said Randall wasn't just targeting me, but Abe too. We are still trying to figure out where she would be safest. Right now, that is here."

"How long do you think this whole thing will go on for? Not that I mind having time to get to know her, but I have a lot on my plate already, I can't really entertain a houseguest forever."

I was backloaded on songs, school work for the kids, and general housekeeping. Add on Misha's new dreams that had me worried, Sasha still crying over Mason, Dimitri and his constant up and down with work, and the pregnancy hormones. I was overloaded enough.

"I don't know, Milaya, I don't know," he whispered.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded back to him, unable to form a dignified response. We will make it work, we had too at this point. We headed back down to the living room, the sight made me smile. Olivia was perched on the couch, Sasha on her left, Misha on the right, she was reading a book to them. Maybe having her here wouldn't be so bad. Dimitri and I sat on the love seat and listened in on the story. It was Ferdinand the Bull, one of my favorite children's books. Olivia smiled brightly as she read to them, I couldn't help but join her.

Looking at her, I could see the similarities between us. She was taller, must have gotten Dad's height whereas I got my moms, standing at about six foot, and rail thin but not sickly looking. Her hair was shorter than mine, just past her shoulders, but held the same deep brown almost black coloring. Her skin showed the Turkish blood with the slight tan appearance, though she didn't seem like she spent much time in the sun, her tone was much lighter than mine. The one solid difference, the eyes, she had the trademark Ivashkov color, emerald green. It fit her well though, I was slightly jealous of that, I would kill for a nice light color eye, rather than the deep brown I hold.

A knock at the door caused her to stop, all five of us looking up.

"I'll get it," Dimitri stood up.

Olivia continued to read, finishing out the end of the book. While Dimitri retrieved his pistol from the safe in the closet before opening the door. I always questioned him why he wanted to keep an extra gun downstairs, or why he sometimes wore it around the house. All he would say is he feels better when he has it, nothing can surprise him if he is prepared. I guess it's like when Mason told me they don't like to sit with their back to the door, if they can see it and are armed, they can protect others better. I'm still learning the in's and out's of this life, but it is starting to make more sense every day.

"You can put that away Son, I come in peace," Dad's voice carried into the house.

"DeDe," both the kids yelled, jumping from the couch to greet him.

"Lexi, Mikey, how are my favorite grandchildren?"

"We're your only grandchildren, Dede," Sasha remarked. Smart-ass, she gets that from me.

"Hince why you are my favorite," he laughed.

"What are you doing here, Baba?"

"I wanted to come and see that Olivia made it in okay," he smiled at her.

"Dimitri was right on time, Abe, no worries I am safe and sound," returning his smile.

I was a little surprised she addressed him by his name rather than Dad or even Baba, but I guess not growing up with him around it was easier for her.

"I just wanted to make sure. You didn't have any trouble with the flights or anything before you left?"

"Other than Mom questioning why I was coming to Texas, nope."

"What did you tell her," Dimitri asked.

"That I had applied for a job down here and was interviewing for it, which is actually true."

"So are you planning on staying?" I asked.

I would love for her to live nearby, give me and Dad, the whole family really, a chance to spend time together.

"I've been needing a change of pace, Kentucky is a beautiful place, but I wanted something different. I have never been to Texas and since my family is here, I figured why not," a huge grin graced her face.

"That's awesome," I shrieked.

I was ecstatic about having a sister, though I would have preferred to know about it a long time ago. I have always wanted someone to tell my trade secrets to, be able to share the holidays with. Don't get me wrong, I loved growing up with Lissa and her family, and Dimitri's sisters have always treated me like a sister, but there is something about having my own that was filling a void I never even knew was there.

"So you're staying forever, Auntie Liv?" Misha latched to her leg.

"That's the plan kiddo, hope you don't mind," she ruffled his hair.

"Well, you can stay here as long or short as you like," Dimitri commented, "We just need to make sure if you want to find a place of your own, it's safe or the issues have been dealt with first."

"Yeah, you will still have to fill me in on most of what's going on there. Abe told me some, but not all of it."

"We will, later," I promised.

"How about we all go out to dinner, I will keep the kids tonight and you three can sit down together," Dad offered.

We all exchanged a few looks, the kids were already heading upstairs to pack an overnight bag. They never pass up a chance to stay at DeDe's house, mainly because Dad lets them get away with things I wouldn't. I was fine with letting them go, but there was one thing concerning me.

"Misha is dreaming again," I told Dad, Dimitri gave me a questioning look, "He isn't screaming or anything, but this morning he was sitting up in his bed. Fully asleep. I watched him for about ten minutes and he laid back down, but I don't know what was going on," I explained.

"I'll keep an eye on him, Kiz, no need to worry," Dad assured me.

"He's my baby, I will always worry," I whispered, looking toward his room.

"You get it now," he chuckled, "You now know why I always worried about you, no matter how many times you told me you were a big girl."

"Yeah, I do."

Dad took his leave, heading home to get ready and pick up Pavel, Melissa, and Suzanne. Dimitri helped Olivia settle into the guest room, which was being turned into the nursery, that will be on the back burner now. I headed to the shower to ready myself for dinner. It was just before five now, we would be meeting Dad at six, then tonight we had a long conversation ahead of us.

We took Olivia to Texas Roadhouse, best rolls ever, she had never been to one before. Despite the name, they are all over the country so that was a surprise, but none of the others are as good as the ones inside of Texas. Conversation topics were light, mainly finding out about Olivia's life, her schooling, her work, things of that nature. She was single, hasn't had a boyfriend since she graduated college. Which was from Harvard Med and she did her residency in New York. She met a guy, Military man, and he convinced her to move to Kentucky where he was stationed. He left her a few weeks after she made the move there, leaving her with no home or anything but her name and degree. She contacted Dad and he was able to help her get into a small apartment. Started working at Albert B. Chandler Hospital in Lexington, the best hospital in the area, she climbed the latter and was on her way to Dean before all hell broke loose. I.E. Dad calling her and informing her about the psychopathic Uncle, hell-bent on killing her father and cousin. With no husband or children, she made a few inquiries in Dallas/Arlington area for open positions and applied to all of them. With three interviews scheduled for next week, I was certain she would get one of them.

Dinner wrapped up, Dad taking the kids with him, Dimitri, Olivia and I piled into the truck headed home. The upcoming declaration of the severity of what was happening looming over us in a thick fog. I was hopeful that the guys would catch Randall soon and this whole thing will be over, but something told me it wouldn't be that easy. Deep down in my gut, I knew a lot more bad things were to come before the light shined at the end of the tunnel.

"Coffee, anyone?" I asked heading straight for the kitchen.

"Please," they answered at the same time.

I put the pot on, Olivia taking a seat at the kitchen bar, while Dimitri and I stood on the other side. We were silent until the coffees were poured, no one really knowing where or how to start. Finally, Dimitri, halfway done with his cup already, spoke up.

"So you know Randall is my biological father, right?" Olivia nodded, "When I was thirteen, I kicked his ass for beating my mother, and Abe made him disappear. He left to Russia for a few years, then somewhere in the last ten years, he came back to the states. He met Ben in Michigan and teamed up with him to come here and kill both of us."

Dimitri paused, letting the first-bit sink in, "I killed Ben a few weeks ago in a shootout, he took my partner's life, so I took his. Randall got away."

"How?" her voice low, she was in shock.

"Mason and I were sitting in our car, Randall came out of nowhere and shot at us. We chased him, but Ben came at us from behind, so we turned our focus to him. When the other officers got in the area, Randall was nowhere to be found and Mason and Ben had both been shot."

"I am sorry for your loss, but what does this even have to do with me?"

"Nathan, Ben's brother, was our informant. He gave us all we needed to find Ben and Randall. During the time he spent with Randall, he heard him telling someone in Russian that he wanted Abe to pay for the part he played in making him leave. From what Nathan was able to tell me, Randall said, "All he loves will die with him." None of us know just how far Randall is willing to go in his revenge, so we thought it best that you stay here, safe with us, until we can find him."

"Does my mom know what he has done?"

"No," Dimitri's voice was sharp, "She wouldn't help us even if she did. When Abe made him leave the first time, she was on his side. Even though he was beating his wife, and I was sure my sisters and I were not far behind, she defended him."

I laid a hand on Dimitri's arm, attempting to keep him calm. I knew talking about this would upset him, he hated Randall and the things he has done more than anything. There wasn't much I could do in this situation, so I did what little I could, be there for him.

"I'm sure she wouldn't protect him for this. I mean, we're talking capital murder here, even she isn't that cold-hearted."

Both Dimitri and I raised a brow, well I attempted.

"Oh come on, I know she is a bitch, trust me, but I don't think she would stand by and let him get away with this," she bargained.

"I can have Abe try to reach out to her," Dimitri consented, "But I don't want her to know you are here, she may try to interfere with the investigation, good or bad, I can't have that. People tend to get a little crazy when their loved ones are involved."

"Then should you really be working the case," she questioned.

"I'm not. Well not officially, I was pulled off it a few days ago."

"We just want to make sure you are kept safe, right now, that is here with us. Plus, I want to get to know you more and the kids do, too," I stepped in.

"I am not planning on leaving anytime soon regardless of how this plays out, I want to be here. I just think Mom could help, she has a lot of resources that no other department has."

"We know," Dimitri mumbled.

"Do you have any idea where he is now?"

"No, he vanished. Abe has a few of his investigators looking, but nothing so far. I think he is planning on laying low for a bit, but I won't let my guard down until he is caught."

"I agree with that, he is not stable, never has been, but he knows how to play his hand."

Dimitri only nodded, he was well aware of how unstable his father is.

"Well, it's getting late, how about we all settle in for the night. Tomorrow we can go shopping for whatever you need for while you are here, then maybe we can go see Mama and the girls for a bit. I am sure they will be delighted to meet you."

"Sounds good to me, I'll see you in the morning, good night," she took her leave and headed up to her room.

Dimitri leaned against the counter, both hands braced on the edge, knuckles turning white from the tight grip.

"You okay, Comrade," I rubbed his back softly.

"Yeah, I just hate thinking about him. What he did.." his voice cracked a little just then.

"I know, but you will find him and we will put all of this behind us. Come on, let's go lay down and relax," I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the stairs.

We changed into our night clothes and curled up on the bed, my head resting on his chest, with his arm protectively around my waist. I traced the outline of his abs, while his hand ran through the ends of my hair. Placing a gentle kiss on his heart, I let out a contented sigh.

"I love you, Dimitri."

"I love you, too, Roza, get some rest," he kissed my hair and I was asleep in seconds.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

Rose fell asleep quickly, leaving me alone in my thoughts for quite some time. It had been three weeks now since we lost Mason. It didn't feel like more than a day. I could still hear his voice and see him sitting beside me in the car, running code to calls and joking around afterward. We were no closer to finding Randall and I was starting to get antsy. I wanted him captured and locked away, unable to do any further harm than he already has. Ethan had no new leads, Abe's men were coming up just as empty, and of course, I was pulled and unable to assist in any way.

After several failed attempts at trying to get into his mindset, I finally let myself fall asleep. Waking only a couple hours later to my alarm ringing, signaling my time to get up and ready for work. Rose had rolled onto her back at some point in the night. I looked at her sleeping form and couldn't draw my eyes away. She was so perfect, though she would never acknowledge that fact, she was truly perfect in every way. Her hair fanned out across the pillows, tousled from sleep, but still soft and full. Her face held such peace, no worries or fears, just humble peace. The covers had been thrown off, the hot flashes were really getting her this time around, leaving her with only my T-shirt covering her delicate frame. Her long toned legs, wide hips and slim waist, even with the baby bump that was growing daily, and perky breast all held my attention. Her body was something carved by the Gods themselves.

My alarm sounded again, drawing my attention from the goddess in my bed.

"Are you going to get up, or keep staring at me?" she mumbled half asleep.

"I can't help that you are gorgeous, Milaya."

She mumbled something else, though I couldn't make out the words. I gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead and rolled myself out of bed to get ready for the day. Shower, teeth brushed and my armor secured, I kissed Rose one last time before heading out the door.

Day shift was a blessing and a curse. I loved the hours, but it went by slower than working evenings or nights. Calls were minimal during the day, mainly reports from overnight burglaries or things of that nature. Lots and lots of traffic stops for people who don't understand what a school zone is or simply wanting to rush and endanger everyone else because they are late for whatever they are headed to. I guess it is all in a day's work though, right? Someone has to work the slower shift, that someone is me for now.

"Good Morning, Dimka," Tasha's cheery voice rang as I walked in.

"It's definitely morning," I chuckled.

"Everything okay," her concern evident.

"Yeah, just had a lot happen yesterday and didn't sleep much. Try not to run me all over the place today, would you?"

"I make no promises, though I will keep you in your district if you play nice," she smiled wickedly.

"How much sweet tea will it cost me?"

"As many as I can drink, which is a lot," she laughed, "On a serious note though, how are things, are you still having nightmares?"

"No, those stopped about a week ago, I still dream, but it isn't like before. The group sessions have helped a lot, as well as your insight."

"Good, you know I am always here. I have been where you are, I know it's not easy to deal with."

"I know, thank you," I gave her a small smile, "Well I better get to the briefing, I'll talk to you later."

As expected, many reports and traffic stops filled my day. Rose called around eleven to let me know her and Olivia would be over at Mamas for lunch, which I was happy to hear. I planned to swing over that way, but as fate would have it, I was sent to a suicidal call just before I could check out of service for a meal.

"2231, show me out, white male, white t-shirt, blue jeans. He is on the edge of the bridge, is Medical on standby?"

"Affirmative, I will show you on the scene, 1127 hours," Tasha's voice came across slightly annoyed.

I brushed that off, getting out of my car I tried to figure out how to approach this male without him jumping. His girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend I wasn't sure, was the one to call in. He had texted her saying he was done with fighting and wanted it to stop. What "it" was, I wasn't sure, but I had to play my cards right here.

"Jaxon," he looked back, shifting slightly on the ledge, I held my hands up, "My name is Officer Belikov, Jennifer called me," he cut me off.

"Fuck her," he spat, okay, so she did something.

"You want to tell me what happened?"

"What do you even care?"

"Because you look like you need someone to talk to, I am here, talk to me," I kept my tone gentle, hands still out in front of me as I inched closer to him.

"Nobody cares, she just doesn't want to feel guilty if I die, it's her fault, everything is her fault," he was almost yelling.

"I care, I don't want to see you get hurt."

He laughed, "No you don't, you're just doing your job, you don't care any more than the last person who tried to make me see reason."

"But I do, Jaxon, I do care because right now I am not just an Officer, I am your friend, so talk to me."

"Friends lie," he whispered, "Have you ever had someone rip you apart from the inside out? Promise you the world only to snatch it away from you in a bink and leave you with nothing?"

"I can't say that I have, but I could imagine it would feel pretty awful," I empathized.

"Yeah, it does. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I don't want to feel anything anymore."

My heart went out to this kid. He was only nineteen, he hasn't even lived, yet he was ready to give it all up. I remember how Rose felt when she was telling me about her own demons after I left for college.

"My wife went through that too," I told him, causing him to look back at me with wide eyes.

"What happened?"

"I am older than her, I left for college and she had some pretty bad days. She is a wild one," I laughed, "causing a lot of trouble and doing things she would have never done had I been around. When one day, she fell off the rollercoaster she had been on and didn't want to deal with life anymore."

I had made it all the way to him by this point, I sat on the inside of the railing, my back facing the drop off below. Crossing my legs and showing him I was relaxed and simply there to talk to him, he followed suit, sitting back against the rail on the opposite side.

"You know, I get it, sometimes life is just hard, right?" he scoffed at the statement, "What?"

"I grew up in foster care, going from house to house, getting abused in most of them. I finally got out of the system and thought I had found love and happiness only for it to be ripped away. She left me for my best friend, but not before telling me about all the times she slept with him because I wasn't doing it for her. We had plans, we talked about a future together, it was all a lie. My whole life has been hard, I am tired of fighting to live another day," his tone shifted from angry to depressed during his testimony.

"There must be something you love, something that makes you happy," I attempted to make him think. Everyone has something, if I can get him to find one thing, I can get him off this ledge.

"I like sports," he shrugged.

"What's your favorite?"

"Baseball," Bingo!

"Really, who's your favorite team?" Please say Texas, please say Texas.

"Houston Astros," he smiled.

I can still work with that, "What if I told you I know someone who played for them? Would you come back over so you can meet him?"

"REALLY?"

"Yeah, I actually played Major League ball for the Rangers and New York for a few years, I have a friend that now plays for LA, but he started with the Astros. You have to make me a promise though."

"What, anything, I have never met a Major league player before, or been to a game."

The light in his eyes as we talked baseball reminded me of when I took Mason into the dugout. He was so excited to meet the players, it was Christmas for him that day. That one small moment made his year, I could only hope I could do the same for Jaxon.

"You have to promise me you will keep fighting. Someday, somewhere, you will find that thing that makes you happy every day and you will look forward to each new day you get. I want you to promise me if you feel like giving up, you come talk to me. I will be there for you, you have my word on that, but I want to see you do something with the life you have been given. Promise?"

I stuck out my hand, waiting for him to take it. He looked at it for a moment, not sure if he was willing to say yes and come back from the ledge. After a few moments, he grabbed ahold of my hand, shaking it firmly. I stood up, not letting go and pulled him back over the railing. We walked over to my unit, opening the back door he climbed in.

"2231, you can stand down medical, the male is secured in my unit. Show me en route to Globe Life."

I called Ivan and Joey, both of them coming to meet me at the stadium. I took Jaxon through the Managers entrance, after another quick call to Coach B, he let us in. I showed him all the underground hidden scenes, the kid was in awe. Joey and Ivan signed a baseball for him and Ivan gave him one of his old Astros jerseys. His memorabilia in hand and a few pictures on his phone, Jaxon was in heaven. I dropped him back off at home, with my card in case he ever needed anything and cleared the call.

This is why I walk this line.

This is why I took my oath.

I am getting back to my old self, and I couldn't be happier.

* * *

 _ **Randall POV**_

 _Pathetic._

I looked into the dusty and rust filled mirror with a scowl, _I am pathetic._ I am right back where I started, hiding. Hiding like a fucking coward.

 _Pathetic._

I had my chance and I lost it. Now I am back to square one trying to figure out exactly how I can get back to him and end this once and for all. Nothing seems good enough, nothing feels right. I want him to suffer, though I know he is probably drowning in guilt over the death of his partner, I want him to feel the physical pain as well as the emotional.

Moving away from the mirror and the reflection of a poor excuse it held, I sat on the warn mattress of my hotel room. Again, I was moving frequently, never staying more than a week in one place. Though I left Arlington, moving about an hour south to Waxahachie, I still wanted to air on the side of caution. Mazur would most certainly have people out looking for me, Dimitri, on the other hand, would only be able to stretch his resources so far.

Planning my next move was taking a lot more effort. Now that he knows I am out here, I have several more obstacles standing in my way. However, he doesn't know what I am fully capable of. Partnering with Ben was a mistake, but I no longer had the hindrance of another person, I could handle this the way I wanted. Laying back, the lumps in the mattress making it fairly uncomfortable, I let the random ideas and visions run through my head. I could torture him, draw out his death, both of them. It would be messy and time-consuming though. I could just break into the house, middle of the night kind of deal, kill them all while they slept soundly believing they were safe. I wouldn't get the satisfaction of watching them fear me, beg for their lives, pass.

Over and over, ideas came to mind and I dismissed them. They either wouldn't give me the release and pleasure I seek, or they were simply preposterous and impossible to pull off by myself. I had to admit, I was getting too old for this shit, but I wouldn't stop. I couldn't. I needed to avenge the last seventeen years of my life. A life that was wasted by hiding in the mountains of Michigan.

Resigning myself and ideas for the evening, I turned out the lights and attempted to rest. _Tomorrow._ I told myself, tomorrow, I would make moves and figure out exactly how I was going to go about this. I turned on the television, not interested in what was playing, mainly just wanting something to fill the silence of the room. I closed my eyes and listened to the movie playing. I was not familiar with the title or plot, but the scene I was hearing sparked something in me. With the revelation of how to get to Dimitri and Abe, I fell asleep quickly.

Tomorrow.

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

How are we feeling guys? Dimitri is back and in action! Coming to terms with the things he has dealt with is not easy, but we all knew he would pull through, right? Olivia is in town and staying for the foreseeable future and Randall is making moves! All fun stuff. Again, leave your thoughts in the reviews and we will see each other again soon.

If you're not following me on facebook, check it out, snips and updates are posted there. www dot facebook dot com/dreamwalkersobsession

-Dream


	20. Chapter Nineteen

_**So Sorry it took an extra day and some to get this done and up guys. They finally released all the details regarding our officer, so things are still rough right now. Funeral will be this week and after that, it should settle down. Thank you for your patience and understanding.**_

 _ **As always, thank you for the reviews/favs/follows. It brightens my day when I get new ones, right now I need that so desperately. Anyways, enjoy the new chapter! Oh, and of course, I own nothing but the plot.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Nineteen**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"Merry Christmas, Milaya."

Rose let out a low soft moan as I trailed kisses down her spine. I was surprised that the kids hadn't come in to wake us up yet. They were normally up by five on Christmas morning and jumping on the bed to get us moving. It was just after six now, so I figured it was time to get Rose and the kids up.

"Come on, Roza, we can beat the kids down stairs, and I think Santa brought something just for you this year."

Her head shot up, "Really, and what would that be?"

"Get your fine ass out of bed and go see for yourself," I laughed.

At lighting speed, Rose was on her feet and descending the stairs, me on her heels. Olivia was already awake and had put on a pot of coffee. The scent of folgers drifted through the lower house, it really is the best part of waking up, you know.

"Merry Christmas," she called out from the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas Liv," Rose bellowed searching the house for what I could have gotten her. "Comrade, where is it?"

I pointed to the front door, not saying anything further. With a questioning look, she opened the front door, her eyes landing on the present outside.

"HOLY SH.."

"Roza!"

"Sorry, but not sorry, Comrade what did you do?" she shrieked.

"You wanted it, so I got it," I shrugged.

We walked down the front path, I unlocked the car with the key I had in my pocket and Rose climbed into the driver seat. She had seen the new commercial for the Dodge Durango that came out recently. New year, all the bells and whistles, everything she wanted. With the kids getting older, they were getting crammed in the back of the Charger, and with the new baby on the way, we needed more room. She ran her hand over the woodgrain steering wheel, before moving to the all leather dash and seats. The navigation screen was as big as an IPAD and had every feature and function you could imagine. With three rows, there was plenty of space for the kids to be comfortable and easy access for us to lift the infant seat in and out. The interior was all black leather, with the wood look on the dash and doors. Jet black paint on the outside, with the blacked out rims to match. She always had the candy apple red color on her cars, but when she saw the commercial with the blackout edition, she begged me for weeks. I kept telling her no, even when I had already talked to Abe and the dealership about trading the Charger.

"I'm going to name it Panther," she smiled softly.

"Name it whatever you want, Roza, Merry Christmas, Moya Lyubov," I whispered, brushing my lips against hers.

"Thank you, Dimitri."

Another five minutes of playing with the new car, I made Rose come back inside and wake up the kids. They would open the presents from "Santa" then we would head to Abe's house by eight to open all the family gifts. It was now almost seven, both Sasha and Misha were down by the tree and tearing into present after present. Sasha had begged for a new artist desk, much like Rose, she was a creative child, but she likes to express herself in drawings rather than writing. I could see the look of disappointment on her face as she moved through the pile and didn't find it. Misha, on the other hand, was overjoyed with all the little things. He was much like Rose and I not wanting or needing material things in life, even for a four-year-old. When we asked him what he wanted, he listed the most menial things you can think of. Clothes, socks, underwear, books for us to read, things like that. So Rose and I decided this year, we would get him all of that, but for something other than everyday living. With all of "Santa's" gifts opened, we were getting ready to leave for Abe's.

 _Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong_

Rose and I shared a knowing look, but Olivia and the kids wondered who could possibly be at the door. I roped Paul into doing me a favor, couple of game tickets and he was all for it.

"Sasha, Misha come here, I think there is one more present left."

They both came running outside, a new found light in their eyes. Two boxes sat on the porch, each had their full name written on top, a short letter from Santa saying he accidently forgot one. Without pause, they opened them at the same time.

"Mama, Papa, look," Sasha yelled.

"I guess you were a good girl afterall," I chuckled.

The smile on her face as she attempted to pull the desk box from the larger one, I would never forget. I helped her pull it out and stand it up so she could see the picture of it on the front.

"Papa will put it together for you tonight," I smiled back, turning to Misha, he was silent looking at all the things that were in his box.

"What did you get, Misha," Rose asked.

"Baseball stuff," he whispered, he was in awe of everything.

With a new batting helmet, cleats, pants, socks, gloves and a bat, with a bag for everything to go in, Misha didn't know what to do. He lifted each article from the box and stared at it before gently laying it down in order on the porch. At the bottom was a box of brand new baseballs, then another box each containing a signature from my old mates. We had a collection going of baseballs from my league days, now he has a whole set from the team to go with it.

"Papa, can we play now," he looked up at me with big eyes.

"After we get back from DeDe's."

"Thank you, Papa," he reached his arms up to me, I picked him up, wrapping him tightly to my chest.

"Your Welcome, buddy," giving him a quick kiss, I set him back down, "Alright, everyone into to Mama's new car, were gonna be late."

Normally I drove anytime the whole family went anywhere, but I let Roza take the wheel this time. She commented on everything, from the handling to the height, to the sound of the engine roaring. I always knew Rose wasn't a horrible driver, but sitting in the passenger seat was a new experience for me. I found myself several times hitting an imaginary break on my side. When we finally made it to Abe's house, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Come on, Comrade, I am not that bad," she laughed.

"I beg to differ," Olivia coughed.

"No, it wasn't _that_ bad, but I think I will drive home," I joined her with a rich chuckle.

The morning continued on in laughs, snide comments, and overall bliss. I had to work last Christmas so I wasn't able to be around for all the little things that made the day so wonderful. We opened gifts, which was an abundance as always from Abe, ate breakfast and relaxed around the living room. The kids were playing with some of their new toys, I was laid back on the couch, Rose tucked into my side. Abe and Suzanne occupied another, with Pavel and Melissa on his left, Olivia in the arm chair on his right. Mama and the rest of my family wouldn't be here until dinner, so we had time to kill before they showed up.

We sat around for another hour or two, light conversation constantly flowing around the room. At eleven, the women took to the kitchen to start the final touches on dinner, which we would have around three, while the men took to Abe's study.

"Anything new?" I asked hopefully.

It has been a little over two weeks since I was pulled off the case, we were still drawing blanks on our side, I could only pray Abe had something. He attempted to talk with Tatiana, but she wouldn't answer his calls or emails, even when he sent her a message telling her exactly what he is wanted for.

"I had a call from Jeffrey yesterday, he believes he has spotted him about two hours south of here, but couldn't be sure."

"Couldn't be sure? What is that supposed to mean?"

"The photos he sent, even I couldn't tell, something is different about this person he is tracking."

Abe showed me the photo, without a doubt that was my father, at least to me it was. He did appear different though, but I knew. His hair was blonde, not a good look. His complexion was darker like he had gotten a good tan, and his clothing looked like something from a thrift store. Randall was much like Abe, he likes to dress in expensive clothing to show he had money and means, even though he lost most of that some twenty years ago.

"No, that's him, where are they?"

"Near Waco, he caught sight of him outside a transit house," Pavel answered.

"Is he still following him?"

"As far as I have been told, yes, I will call and get an update," Abe pulled out his phone and began the call. It rang to Voicemail, so he tried his other line, ending in the same result.

"Does he have the GPS turned on?"

A few clicks and Pavel pulled up the GPS for them on the computer. We could see the icons in various places all over the state, only one near Waco. Clicking on it, showing the details of the person and place, I was shocked to see a familiar face.

"Really, he's working for you? He was terrified of you in college."

"Yes, yes he was, but the man is an amazing tracker and one hell of a shot," Abe laughed.

When he said Jeffrey I hadn't made the connection, but the picture of him on the computer made me laugh. I remember how scared he was of Abe back then, now he is working for him. I am so going to give him shit for this.

"He hasn't moved since yesterday, should we have a unit go and check on him," Pavel looked to Abe.

"Yes, call the local police department for a welfare check, none of the others are close."

I made the call, knowing another officer calling would make it move just a bit faster. Welfare checks were low priority and would typically sit and wait until there was nothing better to do. However, an officer calling in and requesting it, it would be taken care of quickly. With the call made, we headed back out into the living area. We would have to wait a little bit for the follow-up call, so I went to play with the kids, while Pavel and Abe sat watching us.

Mama and the family showed up around one thirty, the girls heading straight for the kitchen. Paul and Ivan came to sit down with me and the kids on the floor. Misha was telling his Uncle Ivan about all the baseball stuff he got this morning, and Paul gave me a huge smile. I nodded my thanks to him for his help and we all got up to go play outside.

It may be late December, but it was a brisk sixty degrees outside, with the sun shining brightly. Ivan and Paul tossed a ball back and forth, while I played a soft game with Misha. He was pretty good for his age, decent throw and almost always made his catch. By the time he turns ten, he will be unstoppable.

Playing catch with Misha, I had a pang in my heart. Growing up without a father to do things like this never really bothered me. Looking back, seeing how I am with my own children, I wish I had these moments. Sure, I had Abe, but he was gone most of the time, and Randall was never there, to begin with. I had never taken time to think about the impact a father can have on their children when they are around. How much these little moments in life with help him and shape him to grow up to be an amazing person. We continued to throw back and forth when Rose's words from a few weeks back rang through my mind.

 _Misha was over the moon playing with you today, I think we should sign him up for T-ball this year. If you wanted, you could Coach his team._ Thinking about it, I looked over to Paul. He was a pretty good player too, though he preferred the gridiron(football) to the diamond.

"Hey Paul," I yelled over to him, "You want to help your Uncle with one more thing?"

He was a bit reluctant at first but caved after I pointed out how good it will look on his applications for college. With plans set for next season, we headed inside to get ready to eat. The girls were just setting the table, Abe and Pavel were still in the living room and the kids were all playing with Sasha's new toys. I looked around for Rose, finding her in the dining room on the phone, a closer look showed she was on my phone.

"Oh here he is now," she handed it to me.

"Belikov."

"Officer Belikov, this is Detective Meredith Edwards, Waco PD. I am returning your call reference the welfare check you requested."

"Yes ma'am, were you able to make contact?" I asked wearily, if a Detective was calling me something wasn't right when they got there.

"Yes," she hesitated, "The male is at Hillcrest Medical here in Waco at the moment, he was severely beaten."

"Is he going to live?"

"Things are looking promising, but I can not say for certain at this time."

"Thank you for the update, I or someone from my department will be making our way down there in the next few days. Was there any evidence at the scene from the suspect?"

"Not that we believe to be relevant, we collected a few items and have them in our lock up. When you come this way just ask for me."

"I will, thank you, Ma'am." I disconnected the call.

I closed my eyes for a moment, processing the information I had just received. I had no doubt that Randall was behind it, but knowing it was him didn't make it any better. Jeffrey was a friend of mine, granted I haven't seen or talked to him since college, but he is a friend nonetheless. Why do the people I care about keep getting hurt? When I opened my eyes again, Rose was looking at me with a scowl.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently.

"Who was that?" she almost snapped.

"It was a Detective from Waco, I need to talk to Dad real quick," I answered already on my way out the door.

I filled Abe and Pavel in on the situation, both wanting to leave immediately to go and check on Jeffrey, but I convinced them to wait until Ethan can go with them. Since I wasn't technically working the case, and Ethan was the lead Detective, I wouldn't have clearance to go, where as he would need to. I would make the call to him tomorrow, I wasn't sure if he was off or not today, but I didn't want to ruin anyone else Christmas with this.

Joining the rest of the family at the table, we consumed most of our meal in silence. Rose seemed upset over either the phone call or what Abe and I had been discussing, probably both actually. Abe and Pavel were distraught with Jeffrey being injured and in the hospital. Me, well, I was simply at a loss. There was only one good thing if you can call it that, to come of this whole thing. I know Randall is still in the state, but at the same time, I don't know if he has already moved on and is planning his next move. Being spotted would hopefully slow down whatever scheme he undoubtedly already has, but I don't think it will stop it. If anything, I am sure it will spark something new in him. I could hardly stop my mind from going down the dark paths I have avoided over the last few weeks. In hindsight, it was a small blessing not knowing where he was. Sure I remained vigilant for anything that seemed out of place, but I wasn't constantly worrying which moment would be my last.

We made our way back to the house and unloaded all the presents from the SUV. Getting everything put away, I started putting together the Artist desk for Sasha. I was halfway through when Rose came into the room, still looking upset.

"Everything okay, Milaya?"

"Why today?" her voice barely audible.

"What do you mean?" I was playing dumb, I knew what she was mad about, but I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it.

"Of all the days for you to talk about _him_ , why today? The three of you were zombies all through dinner, and everyone could feel the tension radiating off of you guys. Why couldn't we just have a nice family holiday and worry about that stuff later?"

"We didn't plan it, but it is a good thing we did. Randall found one of Dad's investigators and he is now in the hospital because of it. If we hadn't called to have him checked on, he may not have lived."

I could see the understanding and sorrow filled her eyes, even if she was upset that our day was burdened with thoughts of him, she knew it was a good thing we caught it in time. She gave me a small nod and walked away, I thought twice about calling her to come back, in the end, I let her go.

Now finished with the desk, I went in search of Roza, needing to make sure she was okay. Sasha ran up to her room as soon as I told her it was done, and I continued to check the house for Rose. She wasn't downstairs with the kids, or in the kitchen, not in our room or out back.

"Misha, where is Mama?"

"She went out front."

"Why?"

He only shrugged. I looked out the front door, there was no sign of her and her car was no longer here. Calling her phone, I could hear it ring in the kitchen. She left, her phone is here and I have no idea where she went.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

I miss him.

I tried so hard, so-so hard to not drown in the memories of what today would normally be like. I didn't want to think that there was someone missing from our dinner table, or the lack of gifts to and from under the tree. I tried. Dimitri and Dad dragging up the Randall drama killed any pretense I had at further attempts to keep myself in check. Because of Randall, and Ben, of course, Mason wasn't here to celebrate with us. Since we were little, we always got each other something for Christmas. Granted in our early years it was something dollar store worthy, but as we grew up it became more personal. I had bought his Christmas present in May, I had found it at a farmers market and it has been hidden in my closet since. It was a wood carved superman symbol with the blue line running through the middle. The moment I saw it I had to buy it for him.

After I walked away from Dimitri, I grabbed it from the closet and headed to my brothers grave. The drive was somber, I was already crying by the time I pulled into the cemetery. Pulling up near him, I parked on the gravel strip that ran around the lot and walked over to his headstone. Eddie and I had picked out the design for it, with his picture, badge and the saluting officer, it was a true piece of art. Not that it did anything to heal the gaping hole in my heart, at least there was something beautiful for him in the darkness. I laid his Superman symbol in the middle of the plot, opening a cold beer I took from the fridge, I placed that next to his stone.

 _I miss you, Mase. Things haven't been the same without your goofy self. I bought this for you months ago, I saved it for Christmas. If I would have known you wouldn't be here, I would have given it to you sooner. I'm sorry._ I let out a heavy sigh. _Dimitri is still trying to find Randall, today he got word that he had hurt one of my Dad's guys. Dad's a freakin hitman, did you know that? All these years, everyone was right, he is a genuine Mob Boss._ I chuckled to myself, desperate to lighten the mood I was in. _Anyways, one of his guys is in the hospital because Randall found him, I don't know much about it, but I can only assume it isn't good. I hope they catch him soon. I am so tired of fearing every move we make. Mainly Dimitri, but even with the kids and myself, whenever we leave the house, I can't help but get the feeling we're being watched. I hate it. I want things to go back to the way they were, but I know that isn't possible because you are here, or there, however you want to look at it. I know you are better off wherever you are, but I am selfish, I want you home with me. I miss you._

I was in full fledge tears, unable to stop the steady flow down my cheeks. My heart hurt being here, I had only come once before, and it is no easier the second time around. I wanted the pain of losing him to go away, I wanted to feel whole again, but it was simply not possible.

The wind picked up, chilling me to the bone. The sun was almost set, so the temperature was dropping quickly. I wrapped my arms around myself, attempting to hold in what little body heat I had at the moment.

 _I love you Mason, Merry Christmas._

I blew him a kiss, and with one last loving look to his grave, I climbed back into my Durango and headed for home. The drive home is always longer than the drive there, or at least it feels that way. By the time I pulled in the drive, the sun had completely set and it was about twenty degrees colder. Looking around I noticed Dimitri's truck wasn't here, his patrol unit was still out front though, so I knew he hadn't been called to work. Running into the house, not wanting to spend any more time outside with the cold, I headed straight to the bathroom first. I was out with Mason longer than I had thought and I couldn't hold my bladder any longer. Finishing my business, I found Liv in the kitchen.

"Where are Dimitri and the kids?"

"Kids are in bed, I got them showered and read to them, just laid them down about twenty minutes ago. Dimitri went out looking for you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just had to visit a friend," I whispered, pulling out my phone from my bag on the counter at the same time.

I rang him twice, both times going to voicemail. I called Dad, wondering if maybe he had gone by the house, he hadn't. I would hope he would know where I left to, but with him not answering his phone, I was worried. His phone is connected to his truck, he would answer even if he was driving, so why does it keep going to voicemail. I tried Eddie and even Ivan and Christian, no one had talked to him. At this point, all I can do is wait for him to come home. I sat myself down on the couch, picked up a novel and waited.

 _KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_

I damn near rolled off the couch startled by the banging. A quick look at the clock showed me it was after midnight. I must have fallen asleep waiting for Dimitri to get back. Did he ever come home? Why didn't he wake me up?

 _KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_

I opened the hall closet, gaining access to the safe, I pulled out Dimitri's pistol before opening the door. It was far too late for anyone to be knocking on my door. Turning on the porchlight, I opened it just a crack. A frantic looking Eddie stood on the other side.

"Eddie, what's going on?"

"Dimitri….his truck.." he was breathing heavily like he had been running for miles.

I opened the door further, bringing him inside the house.

"What about Dimitri? Is he okay?"

Regaining his composure, "His truck was found off an embankment, near the cemetery, he wasn't in it. We searched everywhere, Rose, we can't find him."

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

Dun, Dun, Dun!

Let me hear your thought's guys! Like I said before, I hope after this week things will get back to normal, updating Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. I plan to have another one up by Friday and then fall back to normal since you have been so wonderful in waiting the extra day.

Thank you again and in advance for the reviews/favs/follows.

Much love,

Dream


	21. Chapter Twenty

_**Good Afternoon loves, hope everyone is doing well today and anticipating finding out what is going on with our Russian God. So I shall not hold you any further. As always R &R, let me hear your thoughts. Much love. **_

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty**_

 _ **DPOV**_

 _Hey Mase._

I sat on the bench Rose had just vacated, looking at the new piece on his grave. It only took me a minute to realize where she must have run too. I should have known today would be hard for her, but she seemed to be okay for the most part. I, myself, was trying not to think too much about it. Each day was still a painful reminder that he wasn't here anymore, but we still have to wake up every morning and keep going. That's how he would want us to be, but it's hard. I would give just about anything to see him one more time.

 _It's not the same without you._

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, hands folded in front, my head hung low, shoulders slumped forward. I was defeated. I have been doing so well with moving on. I was smiling again, I was happy and loving my life. The life I still have because of Mason. I wanted to carry on and live to the fullest, he didn't die for me to throw it away. I was more involved with the community, my family, and friends, but there was still a missing piece. They say time heals all wounds, I don't believe it. I believe that over time, you simply learn to live with that scar, but it is always there.

My hand moved to my upper left arm, where the bullet had hit me. I could feel the rough skin from where it was stitched and had healed. It's still there, it's never going away, neither will the memory of how I got it. Like a bad movie, the events of that night rolled through my mind, many emotions accompanying it. Happiness, from the laughs we shared before all hell, broke loose; fear during the actual shooting, thinking I will never see my wife and kids again; sorrow as I watched my best friend, my partner bleed out and there was nothing I could do to save him, but overall, anger; anger at the man that caused all of this to happen. He is still hurting my family and friends and I will not stand for it any longer. I promised Rose I wouldn't kill him unless it came down to a final choice between him and I. However, I was starting to question my strength to keep that promise.

 _What am I going to do, Mase?_

That was the seventy-five million dollar question. What am I going to do when the time comes? If I am face to face with him, will I be able to restrain myself from taking his life then and there? Or will I be able to be the bigger man and arrest him? The officer in me says "of course you will, you are to protect and serve no matter who the person is," but the son in me say, "fuck his world up." Then, of course, the "father" and "husband" voices have their own opinion, but I would never treat my wife and children the way he did. He cared more about making his next dollar for himself than about providing and loving his family.

 _I need your help. Give me something to tell me your still here._

No sooner than the words left my mouth, the wind picked up, I chuckled lightly. I know it is more of a coincidence than anything, but it was perfect timing. A set of headlights flashed into the cemetery, drawing my attention from the cold ground in front of me. I almost wondered what anyone would be doing here this late on a holiday, but stopped myself realizing that I was indeed here this late on a holiday. I watched the car for a moment, it didn't come in or move at all actually, but rather just sat with its lights pointed at me. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, my instincts telling me it was time to go.

 _I love you, Mase. Keep an eye on us. I will see you soon._

Climbing in my truck, I watched the car in the rearview. It still hadn't moved, even when I began to drive toward the back gate. Not many people knew about the rear entrance, but I have been here more times than I would have liked. There was a small creek that ran through the south end of the property along the fence line. If you didn't know it was there, you would almost drive right into it, so it was rarely used. I jumped out to open the gate, drove through, turning to avoid plunging into the water and went to close it. The lock slid into place with a loud bang, too loud.

I felt a warmth spread from my mid-back through my chest. It wasn't unwelcome considering it was almost below freezing out now, but surely it was out of place. The sudden urge to cough hit me like a brick wall. As it rose in my throat, I felt pain. Lots of pain. A burning, tingling, and overall excruciating sensation filled my body. Pushing my hand to my chest, begging the air to fill my lungs, it was wet, sticky. Blood.

 _I didn't mean that soon, Mason!_

I fell to my knees, no longer holding the strength to stand. The metallic taste danced on my lips as I coughed more and more, the red liquid falling onto the dirt. I attempted to reach my phone, only to find it was not in my duster pocket, I left it in the truck. Collapsing onto my side, I could still see the car at the front of the cemetery. Someone had to have heard the gunshot, someone will come looking, right?

Rolling onto my back, the black sky the only thing in my vision. Stars danced around and the light of the street lamps dimmed and brightened. I was fading, fast. This isn't how I saw my day ending, my life. There was only one thought as I closed my eyes and let the blackness take over.

 _I love you, Roza. I'm sorry._

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HIM!"

"Rose, you have to slow your breathing," Eddie placed his hand on my arm but I moved as soon as his skin made contact. "Rose, come on, you need to sit down."

"No, I need to find Dimitri, you need to find him, someone needs to fucking find him!"

I was scared, absolutely and utterly terrified at the thought of him missing. If he hadn't been out looking for me, he would be here right now. We would be in bed together, fast asleep, dreaming of freaking unicorns or some shit. I heard movement from upstairs, I could only pray it wasn't one of the kids waking to my yelling. Thankfully, it was only Liv, poking her head over the railing to see what was going on.

My breathing was still heavy and labored. I could feel the panic attack starting and there was nothing I could do to stop it, not unless Dimitri walked through the door. I fell to my knees where I stood in the middle of the entryway. Darkness swarming in the corner of my eyes.

"Rose, you need to breathe sweetheart, you have to remember to breathe, the baby needs you to stay calm," Olivia encouraged me.

My baby. I was almost sixteen weeks, so too much stress could send me into early labor, way too early. I had to calm down, but I couldn't. It was like I was reliving the last attack, after Misha's first dream of Dimitri and Mason in the shootout. The scenes replaying before my eyes, the casket, the hundreds, thousands of officers in the room, the folded flag in my hand, the call on the radio. All of it rushed back over me in enormous waves.

I could hear Olivia telling Eddie something, but I couldn't understand the words. Nothing mattered anymore, not until I had Dimitri back. Eddie threw one arm under my legs, the other behind my back and took me outside to the patrol unit parked out front.

"Sasha and Misha," I managed to whisper.

"Olivia is calling you Dad, I am taking you to the hospital, everything is going to be okay, Rosie."

Eddie never called me Rosie, only Mason. Everyone knew I would kick their asses if they called me that, but I always let Mase. He had been calling me Rosie since we were five, I wasn't going to make him stop. Though I did give him a glare every time it crossed his lips. Before the blackness took over, I saw his face. He was looking out for me like he always has.

"No it won't, Mason, you have to help him," I cried and let myself go.

* * *

 _ **EPOV**_

"I just wish you were home, are you going to be able to make it for New Years?"

"I am trying, flights are getting canceled days out because of some freak storm," Jill whined.

She was supposed to be here two days ago but got stuck in London for an emergency landing. The weather out that way was apparently the worst they had seen in many years. We have never missed a Christmas, it was the one time of year we made sure we were together. I can not lie and say that living in two different countries is easy, I hate it, but she loves what she does, who am I to take that away from her.

"I understand," a heavy sigh filling the air, "Just be careful and keep me updated."

"As always, so what did you do today?"

"Nothing, I thought about going over to Abe's for dinner, Rose had invited me, but I wasn't feeling very sociable today."

"How are the nightmares, any better?" her voice filled with concern.

"Eh, some nights are better than others," before I could say any more on the matter, a beep sounded in my ear, "Hey, let me call you back, babe, Emil is ringing."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you, too."

I clicked over to answer Emil's call, "Castile."

"Hey, have you spoken to Belikov today?"

"No, Rose called about an hour or so ago asking the same thing, is everything alright?"

"We just found his truck," was his only response.

"Just his truck? Where is he?"

"I don't know, you may want to come to take a look at this. Cemetery, south entrance," his voice was weary, I didn't like the sound of it.

"I'm on my way, fifteen tops."

I dressed in full uniform, not knowing exactly what I was getting into when I arrived on scene. Checking into service with dispatch, I started my way to the call. I tried to read it on my MDT (Mobile Dispatch Terminal), but there was a bucketload of comments that I couldn't make heads or tails of. From what I could grasp, his truck was halfway off the embankment and into the river. He was nowhere near it, no signs that he was even in it when it crashed. So where the hell was he? There were several other comments that, with not knowing all the details, were not making any sense to me. I would just have to get the full story when I get there.

As promised, I pulled around the south side fifteen minutes after hanging up the phone. There were about four other units on scene, Emil being the only one I could see from my position. I parked toward the southwest corner, parking the truck and turning my spotlight near Dimitri's Ram.

"Matthews, explain what's going on, I couldn't read the whole call."

"In a nutshell, we received several calls about a shot being fired in the area. We searched all the streets and came up empty. I was driving back this way and noticed a light over here that shouldn't be there, locating the source," he pointed toward the truck, "I recognized it as Belikov's. His phone is inside and there is no indication that he was in the vehicle when it crashed. No blood, the seatbelt was fully retracted, and the door was snapped forward like it was open when it hit."

"And there is no sign of him anywhere?"

"No, but we did find a large puddle of blood near the rear gate. I can't say for certain it's his until the test comes back, but…" he didn't finish. I knew what he wanted to say.

"Did you search the water? The surrounding area? Follow the blood trail?"

"The trail stops about ten feet away to the east," he pointed in that direction, "there is a set of tire tracks that don't belong to the truck headed the same way."

"Maybe someone found him and took him to the hospital, have we contacted the local E.R.'s?"

"Dispatch is working on that now, but so far nothing."

"He couldn't have just vanished," my tone sarcastic.

"I know this, Eddie, I don't think he made the choice to leave."

"You think he was taken?" I should have thought that sooner, with Randall still out there, it was a good bet he has something to do with this.

He nodded, "And with the amount of blood on the ground, he doesn't have long."

The weight of his words crushed me, I can't lose another officer, another friend. Neil was hard to deal with, being the first. Mason was excruciating, seeing how we had been friends for almost thirty years. Now, Dimitri, I can't let him fall victim to Randall too. Not only because he is my Officer, my friend, but he has too much to live for.

I needed to go to Rose, tell her what is going on, but first I would conduct my own search of the area. Maybe I will see something they missed, or maybe I would find him a little further from where they had looked. I walked the perimeter of the cemetery, inside and outside the gates, pausing for only a moment to see Mason. Continuing on, I checked the river bank, shining my flashlight into every inch of water I could reach. Nothing. I followed the tire tracks, losing the trail when they met the pavement. I ran, I walked, I staggered, I found nothing. Concluding there was nothing further for me to do here, I jumped back in my truck and headed down the familiar streets to Rose's front door. I was tired, physically and mentally. Breathing was difficult for more than one reason, mainly because I had been running in circles for over an hour, but the tale I was about to tell was not going to be an easy one. Rose has been through so much in her life, this, this will break her.

I knew she would yell, I knew she would freak out. What I was not prepared for was seeing the blood stain her pants. Olivia kept trying to talk to her, get her to calm down, but when she fell to the ground, despite my effort to catch her, I knew this was not going to end well.

"Olivia, she's bleeding," I pointed to the red spot that was rapidly spreading.

"Get her to St. Josephs, I will have Abe or Olena come to take care of the kids, I will be right behind you."

I was already picking Rose up before she finished her instructions. Loading her into my unit, I turned on the lights and sirens to get her there as quickly as I could. Olivia must have called the hospital because as I pulled into the ER bay, there was a staff of nurses waiting. We got Rose onto the stretcher and they whisked her away. I watched as the door close behind them, heading for the surgery room I would assume. I parked my truck and headed inside to the waiting room, letting every feeling, every fear and worry I had, pour from my body.

My eyes closed, hands covered my face as I leaned forward onto my knees. I prayed like I haven't prayed in years, for Dimitri, for Rose, the baby, them all. I felt a comforting hand being placed on my shoulder, but I didn't look up just yet. I needed this moment for me. The pressure didn't lessen as I finished out my prayer, lifting my head and opening my eyes, I was alone in the waiting room.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

"You should have just left him, would have been a lot less of a mess," a female voice whispered.

"But where is the fun of just killing him, I want him to feel the way I did," a male answered.

"Still, I don't know if this will be enough to keep him alive," the female again, I thought I recognized the voice, but I couldn't be sure, it was familiar but different.

"Your daughter is a surgeon, you must know how to do something," male responded. That voice I knew.

"Yeah, well as you can see she doesn't trust me as much as she used too."

"I wonder why," Randall laughed.

I heard a door close but didn't trust that I was alone. I kept my eyes closed, trying not to focus on the pain radiating through my chest. Playing back the events of the night, I tried to get a sense of where I was. I remember being at the cemetery. Watching Rose talk to Mason, then she left and I went to him. The car with the lights shining on me. Leaving and going out the back gate. The gunshot. The pain. The darkness. I was in and out of consciousness, but I vaguely recall being in a confined space. I blacked out again when someone was cutting into me. I wanted to move my hand to my chest, feel where the pain was now coming from, but I didn't want to alert anyone that may still be in the room.

I was desperate for an escape from the burning feeling, but it wouldn't stop. It felt as if someone was holding a lit match to my skin, not letting up or moving, just staying in the one-foot area of my chest. I thought of Rose, Sasha, Misha, our new baby. Anything I could to keep my mind from the pain. I don't know how long the silence lasted, but after not hearing any movement or voices for a while, I dared a peek.

The room was dark, only a small window above my head, about ten feet. I laid on a mattress, it smelt like eggs and body odor, not at all pleasant. I could see the outline of the door on one wall, with only a nob, no deadbolt, that was promising. No other windows or doors, the walls were plain and appeared to be made of some type of sheet metal. An outdoor shed or industrial building, I believed. Seeing that I am indeed alone, I attempted to set myself up. The idea proving to be easier said than done. I wasn't restrained, the first mistake, but then again, I doubt they believed I will wake from my current state. After several failed attempts, I managed to get my legs off the side of the bed, standing was another story, but again, I didn't give up. I finally allowed myself to feel my chest. A long cut ran from just right of my heart to the middle of my abdomen. I could feel the raised skin through the gauze that was doing nothing to stop the bleeding. I probably shouldn't be moving, it would only cause me to bleed faster, but I couldn't just sit here and wait to die. If I am going to die today, I will die fighting. I will not take anything from him laying down.

I stood on top the bed, still a few inches short of a clear view out of the window, but stretching a tad and raising onto my toes, I could see land. Lots and lots of land. I was in the middle of nowhere, or at least there was nothing on this side. Retreating from the window, I took one step toward the door, hearing a vicious laugh growing louder. As quickly as I could I lay back down on the bed, appearing as if I never moved. The door swung open and heavy footsteps echoed in the bare room. I kept my breathing even, eyes closed and hands at my side.

"Wake up, Son, it's time to play."

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

 **Holy Hannah!**

Are you guys ready for the epic battle of Father and Son? I know I am! Next update will be Sunday evening! Much love to all and have a great rest of your Friday and Saturday!

-Dream


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

_**Good Afternoon, Everyone, I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. I celebrated my Oldest nephew turning 13 yesterday and am feeling quite old right now, haha. But anyways, R &R and enjoy the new chapter, I plan to have the next up tomorrow. **_

_**Much love.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Plot!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty-One**_

 _ **DPOV**_

" _Rose, stop hiding, come on we have to go."_

" _What if they don't like me, Comrade?"_

 _She was behind the couch, her blue sundress pulled down over her knees with her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked so scared, and adorable. I moved to sit down beside her, pulling at her hand to take it in mine._

" _They will love you, just like I do."_

 _I hadn't meant to say that, and by the look on Rose's face, neither had she. We were supposed to be at my friend Ivan's house for a birthday party, but Rose was still shy around new people, especially since she was only nine and a few years younger, she was scared to go. I had only known her a little over a year, but something about the little firecracker spoke to me. Around me, she was lively, outgoing and talkative, around others, she hid behind me like a shield. She didn't like meeting new people, from what she told me, everyone she gets close to she has to leave. She was apprehensive when we first started hanging out, but after I promised I wasn't going anywhere, she opened up, and so did I._

" _You love me?" her eyes still wide._

" _Of course, you're my best friend," I played it off, and she smiled brightly._

 _I knew she didn't have the best family life, I doubt anyone told her they love her very often. Her Dad was the only one home most of the time, and he worked a lot, her Mom was never around. I felt bad for her, she was such a beautiful girl and didn't even know it. I would make sure she would know from me every day how much I valued our friendship. I may only be eleven, but I knew there was something about her, something that I never wanted to lose._

" _Will you hold my hand, and stay with me?"_

 _Her deep chocolate eyes looked up into mine, begging me to protect her._

" _Always, Roza, I will always be by your side."_

"Son of a Bitch!" The feeling of flesh ripping drew me from my dreams of Roza.

I don't even know how long I have been here at this point. Randall covered the window so I could no longer see the sunrise, keeping time and outside life away from me. Every so often he would come back and toy with me. Cutting the smallest of slits into my skin, afterward pouring saltwater over the new wounds, or electrifying me with a taser. The worst was part was when he would put the towel over my face, dumping water over me so I couldn't breathe. The bastard was sadistic.

"I really hope you don't talk like that around your children, doesn't set a very good example for them, Son."

"Fuck you, like you were the perfect role model," I spat.

"Now, now, that is no way to speak to me, have you not learned your lesson?" his voice still holding the sinister edge.

He wanted me to obey, to bow down at his whim, that is not happening. I fought him before and I will continue to fight him now. I pulled at the restraints on the chair, hoping one time they would break loose and I could defend myself. The tip of his knife dug a little deeper into my arm, causing another wince from me. I tried not to, but with the salt water still, on my skin, it instantly burned. That old saying about hurting someone, "Like pouring salt on an open wound", yeah, shit hurts, a lot.

"They're going to find me, I hope you know that and when they do your as good as dead." I poured as much venom into my words as I possibly could.

"That's quite alright because when they find you, you already will be." He turned his back and walked out the door.

I didn't blink at his threats. He has been saying the same thing since he first woke me up. Going on and on about how much pain I will be in until he decides I have had enough. I couldn't fathom why he wanted to drag this out for so long, he is just creating more work for himself and giving everyone time to find me. I was a little ashamed to admit, but I was praying Misha would have a dream about me and be able to help them. I didn't want him to know the things I was going through, but if it helped them find me alive, able to return to them, it would be worth it.

I pulled at the rope restraints again, desperate for escape. As soon as he woke me up, he tased me, rendering me numb for a few minutes. Then, I was moved to the wooden chair that looked like the ones you see on death row, straight back, thick arms and legs, and bolted to the floor. A thin rope wrapped both my wrist and ankles several times. I could feel the skin underneath rubbing raw from my constant struggle. I couldn't give up though, I had to keep trying.

Fatigue was growing on me. I hadn't eaten since Christmas dinner, I have had no water or a bathroom break. My clothes were soiled with my own fluids, my stomach growled loudly, and I was weak from the lack of hydration. I would not show my discomfort to him, my desire for the smallest sip of any liquid, but I would be lying if I said I was perfectly fine. Shifting again, I rested my head on the back of the chair, letting dreams of my Roza fill my mind.

" _You look beautiful, Milaya," I stuck my elbow out to her._

" _Thank you, so are you finally going to fill me in on this surprise?"_

" _What is the point of a surprise if you know about it," I laughed._

 _She rolled her eyes and let me lead her down the step of her front porch. I told her earlier in the week I was planning something for her, giving no hint as to what it would be. At fifteen, I didn't have much money, or a license to be able to drive anywhere, so I walked her down the three houses to my backyard. With the help of Mama and Karo, the yard was stringed with lights, a table for two sat in the open area off to the right of the yard. The sun had just barely set, it was late October so the days were much shorter, but it worked in my favor. Her eyes lit up at the setup in front of us._

" _Comrade, this is so pretty," she whispered, taking in the decorations._

" _I had a little help," I admitted, pulling out her chair._

 _A vase with lilies and carnations sat in the middle of the table, two place settings and silverware laid out in royal fashion. I spent the whole day cooking with Mama, preparing Rose's favorite Russian meal. Over the years spending so much time with our family when her parents were away, she had taken a liking to Mama's cooking. However, I wanted to cook this meal, knowing how special it would be to her. My hands were clammy as I reached for my knife it slipped right from my fingers, clattering against the plate loudly. Rose chuckled, mumbling something about butterfingers, I gave a half-hearted chuckle back. I was nervous, can you tell? Tonight would be a game changer in our relationship. We have been friends for seven years now, best friends, but I was ready to be more. I love her. I have known for years that there was something special about her and I never wanted to spend a day without Rose Mazur in my life. I was pretty certain she felt the same way, but I guess tonight will be the deciding factor. She would either say yes, or our friendship would forever be ruined._

 _I had barely touched my dinner, Rose's plate was clean, like lick the scraps up clean. She sat back in her chair, rubbing her full belly with a smile on her face. I love that smile, I love it even more when I am the reason for it, but I know how much she loves food. I was sure I would come in second to a chocolate donut more than once in our lifetime._

" _Comrade, that was amazing," she bellowed, looking back to me, "Why haven't you eaten, are you okay?"_

 _I cleared my throat, it's now or never, "Yeah, I am fine, I just… I wanted…" I paused, I couldn't let the fear of rejection go long enough to ask her._

" _Dimitri," she gave me a worried questioning stare._

 _Another deep breath, "Rose," I looked directly into her eyes, "We have been friends for a long time, and I know this may seem a little crazy, but I have to get it out there. I love you. I have loved you for a while, and I can only hope you feel the same way if you don't I understand, but I just have to say it. I want to date you, take you out to the movies, to a real restaurant, on a carriage ride if you want. I want to call you mine and show the world how lucky I am to have you, not only as a best friend but as my girlfriend. I love you, Roza, I don't think I will ever love anyone the way I do you," I spoke without taking a breath again._

 _I had lowered my head at the last part, unable to look into her eyes any longer after I said I wanted her as my girlfriend. I was terrified to see anything other than love reflected in her face. I have never been so scared of something in my entire life, not even after she saw me when I beat up my father. I was sure she would run then and she didn't, but would she now?_

 _She hadn't spoken yet, so I dared a peek at her face, the tears that rolled down her cheeks doing nothing to calm my racing heart and frantic mind. I expected a variety of things to happen with my confession, crying was not one of them._

" _Roza, I am sorry," I didn't know what I was apologizing for, but I hated to see her cry._

" _For what?" she coughed._

" _I don't know, really, for making you cry, I didn't mean to upset you."_

" _I'm not upset, Dimitri," she wiped her eyes, a smile gracing her lips, "I just had no idea you planned this whole thing just to ask me to be your girlfriend when I thought I already was," she laughed, "It's so sweet."_

 _I stared for a moment, unable to form an appropriate response. I worried myself sick about asking her out, and she was already declaring herself mine. Still unable to speak, I laughed._

" _What's so funny?" she gave a failed attempt at raising an eyebrow, she was trying so hard to learn and still couldn't get it._

" _I have been freaking out for days thinking you would reject me," I was trying to calm my amused state._

" _Aw, Comrade," she chuckled, getting up she walked over to my side, wrapping her hands around my neck, she looked down at me. "You should have known that I love you just as much, if not more."_

" _Not possible," I mumbled, wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her to me._

 _She brought her head to mine, our lips meeting in a gentle chaste kiss. Now, we have kissed before, but this was the first time I could feel my love and hers in it. Our first kiss was about two years ago when she and I both worried we wouldn't know what to do. We had agreed to be each other first, so when we met someone, we would know the mechanics of it. Truth be told, I just wanted to kiss her and made up an excuse, I'm certain she was thinking the same thing I was though. Seeing how every so often we would "practice" after hanging out for the evening or sneaking around in the backyard where Mama couldn't see us. I shouldn't have worried about telling her I love her, I should have already known she would be mine forever._

 _She would be my first kiss, my first girlfriend, my wife and the mother of my children someday._

 _My one, My only, My Forever Girl._

 _She's everything in my whole world, That's my forever girl_

Waking up, I felt a new pain, one that wasn't caused by physical abuse, multiple cuts along my arms and legs, but emotional turmoil. The song I used to sing to Rose played through my mind, I could almost hear the music in the background.

 _I hold her tight_

 _And I say darling_

 _I thank God that you're mine_

 _It's a glass of wine to keep her sane_

 _And I love the sound of her full name_

 _Natural southern beauty_

 _Can't explain what it does to me_

 _She's everything in my whole world_

 _That's my forever girl_

Since I was eight, I have loved her. At fifteen I asked her to be my girlfriend, at twenty, I asked her to marry me, and at twenty-one I changed her name. We have fought, made up, cried and laughed. We have gone through hell and high water to get where we are. She has always been my one and only, always will be, but I prayed if I didn't make it back to her, she would find happiness. I wouldn't want her to spend the rest of her life alone with the kids. I would want her to be happy, find love again like her Dad did, live a long good life.

The door opened a crack, drawing my attention. An older woman, I would say mid-fifties walked in, a tray in her hands. She gave me a small smile, setting the tray on the mattress I was on when I first got here.

"Are you hungry?" she asked softly.

"NO." I barked a little harder than necessary, but considering I was starving I was already on edge. However, I wouldn't eat anything they gave me.

"It's not poisoned or anything, I promise."

"Why are you helping him, and who are you?"

"It's not like I want to," her voice barely audible, "He said he would hurt her if I didn't."

"Hurt who?"

"My daughter," she spoke a little louder.

I took a good look at her, the emerald green of her eyes, the high cheekbones, she is an Ivashkov, "Tatiana?"

Her head snapped to me, "How do you know my name?"

"Because your daughter is living with me, she is well protected with my wife and children."

"He doesn't have her?"

"No, so you don't have to help him. You know he is not well, you protected him before, but how can you stand by and let him do this?"

"He is my little brother, I had to protect him from Abe. I didn't want to help him now, he told me he had Olivia and when she said she was leaving to Texas and hadn't called, I figured he somehow trapped her."

"You were laughing with him, I heard you," I prompted.

"I have a part to play here, Dimitri," my name rolling off her tongue in a sneer, "Besides, if it wasn't for my half-ass decent stitch job, you would be dead already."

"Help me out of here, I will make sure nothing happens to you for your part played here."

She looked like she was contemplating the idea, honestly, I would have jumped on it if I was her. Knowing Randall doesn't have Olivia and I wouldn't press charges, she should have taken it and ran. With her status at the FBI, aiding in murder would kill her career.

"Come on, Tatiana, You're the head of the FBI you know how this can play out. Randall is sick, he needs to be stopped, help me and I will help you."

She still hadn't made a move to answer, I pulled out the family card.

"I know he is your brother, but I am your nephew. Plus, I have been protecting _your_ daughter, when he is trying to threaten her."

"You promise me she really is safe?"

"Call Rose, my wife, she will tell you, better yet, call Olivia yourself."

She nodded, pulling out her phone and locking the door from the inside. While it was ringing she looked at me, "You said Rose is your wife, as in Rosemarie Mazur?"

I nodded.

"That's weird, her sister is your cousin," she laughed.

"Yeah, we have discussed that many times."

I wasn't sure I could really trust her, but it was the best thing I had right now. I watched her wait for the line to pick up. Olivia was working at St. Joseph's now, so if she was on shift, she may not be able to answer. If she didn't, I would give Rose's number in hopes she could talk to someone.

The door handle rattled before Tatiana could say anything regarding the phone call. She quickly unlocked it and Randall stormed through the door.

"What is going on in here? Why did you lock the door?" he screamed at her.

"I just wanted to make sure he wouldn't try to run, I had brought him food like you asked." she stumbled out.

Randall looked at the tray, then to me, and back to Tatiana, seeing something he didn't like in the process.

"Who were you calling?"

"No one." her response instant, but even I could hear the deception in her voice.

Randall grabbed the phone and looked for himself, his expression growing fierce.

"What did you tell her," he yelled at me.

"Only that your a lying piece of shit, you know, the usual." I snipped. I probably shouldn't have poked the bear, but I couldn't help it.

The butt of his pistol connected with my jaw, by the feel of it, breaking it in the process. Turning his rage from me, he looked at his sister. I could see the wheels turning in his head and I had a sickly feeling that he was about to do something horrid.

You know those moments when you see something completely awful but can't look away. Like when you drive by a bad wreck, and you just stare, this was one of those moments. Randall lifted his gun, aimed it directly at Tatiana's head, and pulled the trigger. I wanted to scream, but the fracture in my jaw making it damn near impossible. I couldn't draw my eyes from her body as it hit the wall and slide to the floor. Blood splattered behind where she had been standing and her head now had a quarter sized hole.

He picked up her limp body, tossing her toward me, before walking out the door and slamming it shut. I stared at the woman at my feet, his sister, the one who protected him all this time and he killed her without a thought. How many more people going to be hurt because of him, because of me? I battled with myself wondering what I would do when I was face to face with him, this is not what I pictured. I didn't see myself tied up and rendered useless to fight back.

I turned my wrist over, trying again to loosen my confines. It hurt like hell, but with the fracture, in my jaw, I couldn't voice just how much. I turned, twisted and pulled, finally managing to gain just a little more room under the rope. I found new hope and continued to fight until my hand came free. Without pause, I untied my other wrist and then my ankles. Freedom now possible, I contemplated what to do now, leave in search of my home, or wait for him to come back.

I was weak from the lack of nutrients, my chest was still hurting from the incision Tatiana had made, and with my now fractured jaw I couldn't eat the food she had brought. Grabbing the glass of water I drank it as best I could with how little I was able to open my mouth. I would wait for him to return, and I would finish what I started almost twenty years ago.

I would kill my father.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

 _Swoosh, Swoosh, Swoosh_

"Everything looks okay, Rose," Liv looked up to me.

I listened to the beat of my baby's heart, steady and strong. Eddie had gotten me to the hospital quick enough that they were able to put me on an IV to stop the contractions I hadn't realized I was having. With all the added stress we were under, my blood pressure was through the roof and I was at risk of losing my child.

"How long do we have to be here?"

"Until you can keep your blood pressure down, which for right now will be until we find Dimitri."

It had been two days since Dimitri was taken, there was no signs, no updates, nothing for us to go on. Dad was supposed to go to Waco to meet with Jeffrey and the Detective there to see if they could gather any information to help. I was hopeful, but at the same time, I was preparing for the worst. I wouldn't say I had given up on him being found and coming home, but I was readying myself for the possibility. I had no doubt that Dad would find him, it is apparently what he does best, but what condition they will find him in is the major question.

"I want to go home," my voice cracked as a tear fell.

"I know, but we need baby safe and healthy," she cajoled.

She knew the only way to get me to sit here and wait was thinking about the life that depended solely on me and my stability. Along with the IV, I was being given medication to keep my blood pressure down. Why I can't take that at home, I didn't understand, but I guess they want to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't get worked up over anything. I have been sedated three times in the last 48 hours, each time having a panic attack thinking about what Dimitri is going through, or if he is even alive. That was the worst part, knowing he is out there someone, but not knowing if he was alive or dead. I would hope that if something happened I would sense it or something, I would know.

After wiping my belly of the sticky gel, Olivia left with the ultrasound equipment, promising to be back soon. I laid back on the bed, thinking about simpler days, our childhood, our love story, anything to keep the negative thoughts at bay. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up to my little man sitting on my bed.

"Mama!" Misha bellowed, crawling up to lay beside me, "You've been asleep forever!"

"Sorry buddy, Mama was tired, how are you?"

He laid his head on my chest, a hand on my belly, "I'm okay, but Mama," he looked up to me sorrow written across his face, "Papa is hurt."

"What do you mean?" I ran my fingers through his hair. I was actually hoping he would tell me he had a dream about Dimitri and knew where he was, though I would hate for him to know the truth.

"Uncle Mason said Papa was in trouble and he needed help."

I was taken aback and wanted to ask just how Mason told him, but I thought better of it, "Did he say anything else?"

"He said to tell you, remember the old dirt road that leads to nowhere, said you would know what he means."

It had been a long time since I had thought about our old spot, but I knew exactly where he was talking about. When we were teens, there was this old factory that had been abandoned years before. On the weekends, we would go out there with a few coolers of beer and throw some of the best parties. No one ever went out that way, since it was well off the beaten path, so we never worried about being caught. It was at the end of a red dirt road, literally leading nowhere, about twenty miles south of Arlington. How Randall would have known about that I wasn't sure, but that wasn't the only thing bothering me.

"Misha, how often do you talk to Uncle Mase?"

"Every night, he wants you to know he misses you too, but he is happy."

That must be the new "dreams" he is having, he is talking with Mason in his sleep, though I can't blame him. I have had several conversations with Mason in my own dreams. It was so realistic I would wake up forgetting he was gone at points. I could hear his voice, see his smile, the light in his eyes, just like when we were kids.

Drawing myself from my own thoughts, I needed to tell Dad, he had to go and check the factory. I grabbed my phone from the table, dialing Dad and filling him in on what Misha had said. They were down in Waco visiting Jeffrey today so I knew it would take a few hours for them to get back. Jeffrey was able to provide them with similar details about a location he had seen Randall at a few weeks ago. With newfound hope, Dad headed back with his team, as well as the Arlington SWAT team and would be breaching the factory in a few hours.

Sasha walked into the room just as I was hanging up the phone, climbing onto the bed, she took rest on the other side of me. With my arms around my littles, my littlest doing better, I laid my head back.

Soon, I prayed, soon, they would find Dimitri and everything would be okay.

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

Warning for next chapter: It will be violent, you will see a side of Dimitri that I absolutely hate, but is necessary. Think about the fight in the alley in LS, but with a lot more insight into his mind and a lot more violence.

On a lighter note: how are we feeling about this one? Leave your thoughts and I will see you guys tomorrow!

-Dream


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

_**I know, I know, I am late. BUT in my defense, it is still Monday! Now on with it!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty-Two**_

 _ **APOV**_

"Are you certain?"

"I can't say one hundred percent, but I would bet on ninety-eight, he was moving often," Jeffrey looked through his photos and data, pulling two for me to inspect. "This is the factory that Rose was telling you about, I caught him there only two times, but each he was unloading goods into the building, cases of water, canned foods, things like that. The other," he moved to point at another photo, "This is the location in Waco where I had last seen him, a transient house. He wasn't there very long, so I think he was just passing through."

"So the factory is the most promising," I was speaking to myself, but Pavel chimed in.

"Looks that way, there are five different buildings on the property," shifting through more photos, "This is the main building, it still has all the equipment inside, also a few offices that I am sure are still accessible. These two are supply sheds, last I knew, those have been cleaned out, and these two, onsight housing for the workers. Each has six individual rooms, three bathrooms and a kitchen with an eatery."

"So were talking over fifteen possible rooms he could be kept in?"

"Yes Sir, and if we make too much of a spectacle searching, that could end badly for more than just Dimitri," Jeffrey spoke lowly.

I mulled over all of the information, contemplating how to go about getting my son back. We could breach by sheer force, guns blazing kind of thing, or we could scope it out and play the safe route. I knew canvassing the area would be a smarter way to go, but it would take more time, time Dimitri didn't have.

"Ethan, any input from a SWAT point of view, what do you suggest we do?"

"We need to survey the area, it will take longer, but it will help us make sure everyone makes it out alive. We have FLIRS (infrared binoculars) that we can use to see if anyone is inside. Add in the K-9 units, we should be able to find him faster than just looking through each room. We can't risk being detected too soon, Randall won't hesitate to kill him and take as many of us with him."

I gave a small nod, knowing he was right and there would be no further discussion on that matter. We would case the area, infiltrate the factory and bring Dimitri home.

"Abe, you and Pavel need to stay out of it," Ethan directed toward me. He had been speaking with the others but I tuned them out.

"What do you mean? We are going with you, no questions," I used my most demanding tone, one that doesn't get used very often anymore.

"I can't let you, risking a civilian is not an option," Ethan's voice was soft, but instead of calming me like he intended, it fueled the fire inside.

" _Civilian,"_ I gave a deep laugh and a raised brow at his declaration, "you know I have better training than you do. He is my Son, I will be there when we find him."

"Fine, but you stay in the back, let us breach when we find him, you can come up. That's final."

I looked to Pavel, he wouldn't want to sit back on this any more than I do. The look he gave me said, "take it, it's the best he's going to offer". I nodded my agreeance, knowing when we got there I was not likely to listen anymore. I had more riding on this than just Dimitri. I should have handled Randall years ago, now my family and friends are paying the price. If Dimitri hasn't killed him by the time we get there, I most certainly will.

* * *

**BREAK**

"Promise you will be carefull?" Rose whispered.

I had come to the hospital to ask what would be best for the dogs to use to track Dimitri's scent. We were due to leave for the property in the next hour, so I was taking my leave and heading out.

"I promise, Kiz. Don't worry about me," I kissed her head, "You just worry about my next grandchild and I will take care of everything else."

"You will tell me, right? If …" she couldn't finish, but I knew what she was aiming at.

I gave a small nod, "Everything will be okay," with a squeeze to her hand, I let go and headed out.

Stopping by the house, I grabbed Dimitri's vest and radio. We were all meeting at the department and would convoy from there. The SWAT team would be in their "tank" and Pavel and I, along with two of my sharp shooters and one of my best surveyors, would follow in my SUV. Behind us was an Ambulance that would stage about half a mile down the road, we knew no matter what condition we found them in, we would need them on stand by.

The sun was beginning to set, the sky danced with orange and pink swirls and a cold breeze flowed through the vast land. There was nothing out here but the factory, making it easier, yet harder to approach. We had the space we needed to move around without detection, but there was a lot of ground to cover. The four teams broke and headed to their destinations, myself and Pavel would be with Eddie. The north and south side teams each taking one of my men, and my other stayed off to the west, the best vantage point to the main building. I had an earpiece in both ears, one with Dimitri's radio so I could hear the officers and one for my team. About halfway up the drive, a loud pop sounded off to the east of us. I halted and looked at Eddie and Pavel with wide eyes.

"Fireworks," Eddie nodded his head upward, "It's New Year's Eve, could work in our favor if they keep setting them off, it will cover the sound of us moving."

I watched for a moment as another round went off, lighting the sky up in green and blue sparks, fading away into the night sky as it made the descend. I couldn't remember the last time I had watched the fireworks show, maybe when Rose was little. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy much of the display as Eddie motioned for us to keep moving. My feet moved with them, but my mind stayed on the display that was going on in the distance. I could smell the gunpowder and hear the sizzle it broke in the air into the various shapes and colors.

"Boss, the factory is clear, looks like they are in the southwest housing," Jeffrey spoke into my ear.

"Are you sure?" We hadn't made it but three-quarters of the way, the dogs hadn't even picked up his trail yet.

"Affirmative, I have two heat sources coming from there. If I can move up a little, I could tell you exactly where."

I relayed the information to Eddie, who in turn, told everyone else on the radio. Ethan was a little skeptical to write of the factory but trusted that my men knew what they were doing.

"Join the West team, they will give you cover to move," I reported back to him.

We paused in our current positions, per Emil's instructions, and waited on Jeffrey. I was certain that time was actually moving backward at this point. I was on edge, I hated waiting and knowing each moment we waited or wasted was another moment we lose.

What may have been two minutes, but felt like years, passed and Jeffrey was speaking into my ear once more.

"I have a visual on Dimitri, he is in a chair appears to be tied, there is another person in the room, but they are deceased. It's a female, only detail I can see clearly is blonde hair."

"No sign of Randall?"

"Negative, I have a secondary heat source coming from the building, but he must be in a different room."

"Copy, hold your position," I instructed and turned to fill Eddie in.

Again, forming the circle of information, we made a plan of attack. Around and around we passed instructions on to everyone. Just as we finalized the who, when and wheres of entry, Jeffrey was speaking again.

"Abe, Y'all might want to hurry up, Randall just walked in and Dimitri apparently isn't restrained," his voice held a touch of humor, but also fear. I couldn't imagine what he is seeing right now. If Dimitri was able to get free and attack, Randall is fucked.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

He had been gone for a while, peeking out the window it was falling into the evening. The sun hung lower to the west and I could see the colors in the sky change to soft orange. Not knowing when he would return, I made moves in the room to make it easier on me when he did. Picking up Tatiana's lifeless body, cold, stiff and pale, I moved her to the wall opposite of the door. My heart lurched in my chest as I drug her over the hard cement. She may have done the wrong thing, but she was still a person and I didn't want to just throw her like Randall had. Gently, I laid her down and closed her eyes.

Pushing the mattress to the other side, I sat back in the chair, laying the ropes over my wrist as to appear to still be tied. I had my work cut out for me, the little bit of movement leaving me surprisingly winded. My heart was racing at an abnormal rate, the bleeding on my chest, that had stopped, was soaking through the gauze. My arms and legs were weak from lack of use, and my head pounded with a five-alarm migraine. I was beginning to doubt my ability to fight him in my current state. Adrenaline would kick in, but would it be enough to incapacitate him?

My attempt to mentally prepare myself for what was to come was futile. I was already beyond the point of simple anger and hatred, that thinking about it really did nothing to sike me up. So I let it go. When I saw him, I would gain the strength I needed, for now, I will rest. Laying my head back, I thought about Roza and my children, my mama, sisters, nephew and nieces, Abe and Suzanne, Pavel and Melissa, everyone. All the people I would be leaving behind should this not go according to plan.

Deep breath after a deep breath, I calmed my mind, thinking of simpler times. Like before I remembered my life growing up. My youth baseball games, the little moments with Rose when we were little, all the trouble I got into with Ivan. I had a good life for the most part, sure I had my fair share of hardships, but overall, not bad. I was thirty years old, a father of two, almost three, and I have a gorgeous, spirited, loving, overall amazing wife. A great family and in-laws, hundreds of friends, even if only a handful are the truest, I was blessed.

"If I make it out of here, I promise to step up and do better, for you, for me, and for my family." I spoke to Mason, staring at the bare tin roof, "I won't let you down again, Mase."

Returning my gaze to the door, I waited.

The sun sank lower until it was completely dark outside. With no light in the room, and the moon was non-existent tonight, it was pitch black. I could hear fireworks going off outside, muddled by the metal around me, but I knew exactly what the booming noises were. It must be New Year's Eve.

Five Days. I have been here for five days, no food, a sip of water and no outside light. It was a wonder I was still conscious.

I wanted to look out the window, maybe catch a glimpse of the fireworks, but I wouldn't risk him coming in while I was out of the chair. He needed to believe I wasn't a threat. Round after round, the artillery shells exploded, I could smell the faint smoke drifting in the air. It was chilly in the room, so I assumed it was pleasant enough outside that people were sitting around a bonfire, roasting smores and ringing in the new year. We were supposed to be at Lissa and Chris's house tonight doing exactly that. Yet another thing to think about when I face Randall.

A banging sound rang outside the door, he was moving. Sitting myself up straight, gripping the chair in a vice tight hold, I geared my body to attack. The light outside the room shifted, he was walking back and forth in front of the door, his shadow moving side to side. _Come on, Come on, Open the door you bastard._ As if he could hear the yelling in my head, the door swung open wide, light pouring into the room, momentarily blinding me. He took one step in, and I pounced.

Like a Lion preying on a gazelle, I tackled him into the hall, hearing his head crack against the wall. I heard something hit the ground, the knife he had been using against me all week fell from his grasp. Moving him to the floor, I reached out and picked it up. I could see blood coming from the back of his head already, but it wasn't enough. Using the end of the knife, I drug it across his skin, leaving small deep gashes down his arms and chest. His cries of pain doing nothing but encouraging the monster inside of me. I wanted to hear him scream, I wanted him to hurt, I wanted him dead.

Over and over, I cut him just like he had me, not pausing until I was satisfied with the level of pain he was enduring. Each swipe of the knife, each scream he let out, I saw the faces of the people he hurt. I heard the last breaths they took before he claimed their life. Rotating the knife in my hand, handle held tightly, I plunged it into his body, sinking the blade completely into his flesh. He attempted to scream, or something, but could only let out a strangled cough as blood spilled from his lips. Withdrawing the knife, I quickly drew back and pushed forward again and again, and again. Each puncture wound I left on his body was for someone he hurt or took from me.

Mama. Neil. Nathan. Jeffrey. Tatiana. Mason.

He was coughing heavily like he was trying to speak but every time he opened his mouth, I stabbed him again.

"I..told..them.." his voice weak, "You're just… like me.."

"I am nothing like you," I spat.

"You... have the desire.." he coughed violently, "you want to kill."

His words struck a nerve, but before I could process the feeling that rolled over me at his dying confession, my hands wrapped around his throat. My grip growing tighter until I could actually feel his neck crunching beneath my iron grip. His eyes went wider, knowing his end was coming, but I wasn't done.

 _ **I**_

 _ **Am**_

 _ **Not**_

 _ **You**_

I punctuated each word with slamming his head against the concrete. His skull cracking further until the back of his head was open. He was long gone, but I couldn't stop myself, I had to make sure he was never coming back. He would never hurt me or my loved ones again. Every memory of him hurting my mother flashed through my head. The bruises she tried so desperately to hide, the nights she laid awake crying from his beatings. Then Neil, shooting him for no fucking reason, pulling him from his life and family for what, nothing! Nathan, who was innocent in all of this, stabbing him and leaving him to die in that house. Tatiana, who protected his worthless ass and he still turned on her in the end. Mason. Mason who laid his life down for me, he never would have had to had Randall not teamed with Ben in this fucked up scheme to get to Rose and I.

Again and again, I smashed his head to the floor.

 _Dimitri. Dimitri stop, it's over, it's over, you have done enough._

The voice in my head attempted to make me see reason, to see what I have done, but I couldn't stop.

 _Son. Please, let go._

I felt something wrap around my arms, both being pulled back and away from the body on the ground. If I hadn't already known it was Randall laying before me, I would have questioned it was a human at all. His body was mangled beyond recognition. His clothes and skin were ripped open in many places, his head missing half of its skull and his throat was deformed. I could see the indentation my hands left around his neck, the hands of the monster who was no longer caged. I looked down to see my hands coated in a thick red layer. My arms scared from his torture and my chest bleeding heavily with the exertion I just put my body through. Looking back up to Randall, I see the same marks, but ten times worse.

A door closed in front of me, I hadn't realized we were on the other side of the building, moving to the outside now. I could hear many voices speaking, but none of it made sense or rather none held my attention long enough to process. The further we got from the building, the clearer my mind became to what I had done. I could feel my body begin to shut down, fatigue and guilt weighing me down until I was no longer able to function. Closing my eyes, I succumbed to the darkness, my last conscious though driving me over the edge.

 _I am not like him, I am worse._

* * *

**BREAK**

 _Beep, Beep, Beep_

 _Beep, Beep, Beep_

The heart rate monitor continued on and on, as annoying as it was, I was glad to hear it. Unfortunately, it was the only thing I could hear. There was no other voices, no sounds, only silence. I begged my eyes to slowly open, knowing the lights were most likely on and they would be beyond bright to me. I hadn't seen the sun since I was taken, and not knowing how long I have been out for, the light would surely be a new and refreshing sight but would take adjustment. I rolled my eyes a few times, testing the motion before attempting to open my lids. Scrunching my face, my eyes opened just a sliver, it was dark in the room. For a moment I thought I was back in the building Randall had me in, but the continues beeping told me otherwise. It must just be night time and they turned the lights out, yeah.

Seeing fully now, I looked around the room, definitely a hospital. The bed I lay on was firm, dressed in all white rough linen, a small tv sat in the corner to my right and the IV pole on my left, a small table with water and flowers next to it. A huge window with the blinds open above a small couch in front of me. I was expecting someone to be here, but again, not knowing how long I have been out, I couldn't see any of them able to devote every minute to wait for me to wake.

Pushing the button on the bed railing, I raised it into a sitting position, pushing another, I turned on the lights. I grabbed the water pitcher, surprised at how weak I felt right now, and managed to pour half a cup. Drinking it greedily, I refilled it and drank another. The IV was feeding me nutrients, but after being deprived of water for so long, it was heavenly. I let out a sigh of pleasure as the last of the cool liquid soothed my rough throat. Setting the cup and pitcher back on the table, I picked up the card that accompanied the flowers. Lilies and Carnations they must be from Roza. I smiled brightly at knowing she had been here, I couldn't wait to see her and my babies. I fought and won to get back to them, and I was ready to be home with my family. I tore the back of the envelope, pulling a plain white card from inside. There was no writing on the outside, so I assume this is something she did by herself. I opened it with a smile and began reading.

 _Dear Dimitri,_

 _Dad told me everything. I am so sorry you had to go through what you did, I wish I could have done something to stop it. If I had been able to, maybe this wouldn't have happened. He told me what you did to Randall. While I can understand your anger toward him, I can not understand why you did what you did. You promised to arrest him, not kill him, but you didn't just kill him you mutilated him. It wasn't you or him situation, you could have arrested him, you had a chance to be the better person and you didn't. That is something I just can't accept. I am sorry. I hope you get the help you need, something has changed in you Dimitri and I don't know what to do about it anymore. I will be taking the children and we will be leaving Texas. Maybe someday we will return and I hope to see you doing better. I would love for them to have their Papa in their lives, but I can not allow them to be around someone who could kill another without a thought. That isn't who you are, that isn't what I want them to see._

 _I will always love Dimitri Belikov, I hope one day I get to see him again because the person reading this isn't my husband._

 _I wish you the best of luck and I will pray for you._

 _Always,_

 _Rose_

I read the words, once, twice and a third time, expecting them to change with each pass my eyes made over the scribbled handwriting. There was no way this was real, it couldn't be. She wouldn't run now, not after everything we have been through, everything I have done for her.

I pushed the nurse's button, no one came. Growing frustrated, I rolled myself out of the bed, falling to the floor in the process. My legs couldn't support me after being inactive and I couldn't feel them. Resorting to crawling, I slowly made my way to the door, sliding it open and looking out into the hall. I couldn't see anyone in the hall, it was cold and deserted.

This is a dream, this can't be real.

Laying my head against the cold tile, I let the blackness take back over. I was still weak, I was nowhere near healed from the events, mentally or physically. The steady beep playing in the background.

This is a dream.

This is a dream.

 _Beep, Beep, Beep_

 _Beep, Beep, Beep_

 _BEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP_

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

Don't Kill Me!

As always, Leave your thoughts in the reviews. Next update is set for Wednesday, I will see you all soon!

Much love,

Dream


	24. Chapter Twenty Three

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!_**

 ** _Enjoy the update, next will be Sunday as we are back to normal scheduling._**

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty-Three**_

 _ **RPOV**_

 _Rose._

 _Rose._

 _Rosemarie._

Baba?

I heard the familiar voice calling out to me, but I was clouded with darkness. Not the typical depression kind, but actual darkness. I couldn't open my eyes. Each attempt I made at speaking or moving a finger to let him know I could hear him was futile. I tried to think back to the last thing I can remember.

Dad stopping by, leaving to head out for the rescue mission for Dimitri. I had a panic attack as soon as the door closed behind him, a needle, darkness. They sedated me again. I was beginning to wonder how many times they could sedate me before I stopped waking up from it. I swear I had been put under more times than I had been awake in the last week.

"Rose, if you can hear me, we found him. He is in surgery and should be just fine," Dad spoke close to my ear. I could feel his breath tickle my skin, but I was still too far under to react to the feeling.

I heard the door slide open, then closed, I was alone again. Knowing Dimitri was here, safe and on his way to recovery, I let my mind shut back off. Hoping a few more hours of rest and I will be able to wake up again.

Minutes. Hours. I wasn't sure, but I knew I had been asleep for quite some time. My body was stiff from lack of movement, throat dry and my stomach growled, announcing my hunger to anyone in a half mile radius.

"Mama's hungry," Misha laughed.

Opening my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the brightness of the fluorescent lights, Misha sat at the foot of the bed, Sasha on the couch with Dad, and Olivia looking at the monitors.

"Good morning, Kizim, it's about time you woke up," Dad laughed.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"About fourteen hours," Olivia answered, "Your readings look good, the baby is doing well and your levels have mellowed out."

"So can I go home? How did the rescue go?"

Dad looked down, I had heard him say they found him and he was in surgery, did something else happen. Misha moved to curl into my side, resting his head on my shoulder. Sasha played on her tablet, ignoring the conversation around her.

"What?" I looked between Olivia and Dad, "Someone fill me in, please."

"Why don't I take Sasha and Misha to get some food in the cafe, that way you guys can talk," Olivia tucked her pen back into her coat and motioned the kids to follow her out the door.

Dad and I stayed silent for a few moments, the tension in the air crackled as we both tried to figure out how to discuss this. After another minute, Dad cleared his throat and began.

"We found him at the factory you told us about. When we got there, Jeffrey could see him and Randall fighting. He fought and killed Randall in the process, but he was already in a bad way. A gunshot wound, several lacerations, and significant malnourishment. They took him into immediate surgery when we arrived here, they were able to repair the damage, but…" he paused, searching for the right words. I waited patiently, trying desperately not to jump to the worst possible outcome, "He was moved into ICU and sometime during the night, he flatlined."

"So he is dead?" I choked on my own words. There was no way he could be dead, he just couldn't.

"Right now he is on a ventilator, it's keeping his heart beating, but we are most concerned with the lack of brain activity he is currently showing. There was a small bleed in his brain that they believe caused his heart to shut down, but they released the pressure and were able to find it and fix that as well. Now it is up to his body to do the rest."

"What are his chances?"

"Right now, they really can't tell us, they believe he has a chance to recover, but ultimately, it's up to him."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course, but I have to warn you, Rosemarie, it is not going to be easy."

I gave a small nod, already knowing how much pain I would be in seeing him in that state, but I had to let him know I was here, I wasn't giving up on him.

Changing into a pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt, Dad and I walked to the elevator, hitting the 4th floor, we traveled down in silence. I was mentally preparing myself for what I was walking into. I needed to be strong, I need to keep myself together and lend him the strength to fight. Stepping out of the elevator, we made several turns and walked down two long halls, finally arriving outside of his room. There was a nurse inside, so I waited at the door for her to exit. I didn't want an audience when I saw him for the first time.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Dad looked down at me, wiping a tear that had already fallen.

"No. If I need you I will call," I wrapped my arms around his waist, "Thank you for finding him, Baba."

"You don't have to thank me, Kiz," a kiss to my hair, he let me go.

 _Deep breath, Rose. Deep breath._ I walked into the room.

The smell hit me first, dried blood and sanitation, an odd mixture. I let out a sigh at the sound of the heart rate monitor beeping in rhythm, though I knew it was a machine keeping it going, I still liked to hear it. There was a curtain pulled over the bed, so I couldn't see him from the entryway where I still stood.

 _Deep breath, Rose. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. You can do this._

One step at a time, I made my way around the curtin, taking in the sight of my husband. My hand covered my mouth, attempting to stifle to the sobs that were quickly escaping my body. His head was wrapped in a thick bandage, a long tube ran from his mouth to the machine on his left. There were probably four or five blankets covering his large frame, making him appear bigger than he actually was. His body shook every three or four times his heart would beat, I wondered if he was in pain or if it was a reaction from the ventilator. The IV pole had six different lines running off of it. I didn't know what half of those were for, but I was amazed at how much medication they were feeding him.

I took a seat in the uncomfortable chair by his bedside, lifting the covers to find his hand buried beneath. His flesh was cold, no wonder they had so many blankets on him. Taking hold of his hand, I could see where his wrist had been rubbed raw. Red angry welts, about and inch thick, covered his wrists, small cuts on his arms. I ran my thumb over his knuckles, sending what little strength I had to him. My eyes moved back to his face, he didn't appear to have any severe injuries there, but I did notice the two small circles on his neck. Taser marks. To qualify to carry one, you had to be tased. I remember what they look like from when he came home the day of his test, smiling like he had won the lottery. I still don't understand why he was so happy about that, but whatever, right now I was pissed that Randall had done such awful things to him.

I was glad he was dead. I know Dimitri will have mixed feelings about the events that transpired, but I would make sure he knows that I support his actions. I don't know exactly what happened, and I don't want to, all I want right now is him to wake up and breath on his own. Bringing his hand up, I brushed my lips against his knuckles, taking one more deep breath before talking to him.

"I am here, baby. Sasha and Misha are down stairs with Olivia and we all are waiting for you to wake up. I love you so-so much, Dimitri. We all do. We need you to come back to us, there is still one who has yet to meet their Papa. We need you, Comrade, please, you have to come back to me."

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

"I don't know what to do, Mase."

I watched Roza sit beside my bed, begging me to wake up, but I wasn't there. In some crazy hollywood worthy scene, I was floating above myself, watching the machines keep me "alive".

The last thing I remember was reading the note from Rose, falling out of the bed and listening to the monitor beep, then it stopped. Next thing I know, Mason picked me up from the floor, pulling me to this place. Looking at her now, she was broken, but she was there, she hadn't left me.

"You need to get back to yourself," his blue eyes locked onto mine, driving home the seriousness of his words. "Rose still needs you, they all do. It's not your time, D."

"But it's easier here," I whispered, "There is no pain, no problems, and I can still watch over them."

Mase and I had been talking for, well I don't know how long, but here, wherever here was, I felt at peace. For the first time in six months, I felt no pain, physical or emotional, no sorrow, nothing. I had Mason back, I could watch my babies grow up, what more could I ask for.

"You can still feel pain here, though it's not the same, it is more of an empty feeling. I have been watching over you guys since I left. Everything you have gone through, I saw. It was weird, I didn't feel sad, but I felt something different, hollow, wishing I could do something but only being able to sit back and watch it unfold."

I looked back to Rose, she was holding my hand, tears cascading down her cheeks quickly. I felt what he was describing. I wanted to reach out and hold her, comfort her, but I couldn't. I knew I needed to fight, I still had a life and family waiting for me, but the comfort here was enough to make me consider the idea of letting go.

"Let me show you something," Mase started, I rose my eyebrow, "This is what life will be like for them if you don't go back."

Like a movie, a picture screen materialized in front of me. I could see Rose and my family sitting in a plain white room. A doctor and a chaplain at the head of the table, discussing taking me off of the life support. Rose was yelling, screaming that I wasn't dead and I would come back eventually. My mama was crying heavily, as well as my sisters. I could see Vika was showing, my newest niece or nephew growing strong inside her, I would never meet them.

The doctor read a list of stats, my brain activity, heart rate, life chances, and more. Explaining as gently as he could that the possibility of me waking was less than ten percent and decreasing every day. Abe, ever the voice of reason in situations like this, spoke up, agreeing with the doctor. _"He wouldn't want to be kept alive by machines. We're prolonging the inevitable at this point, Kiz. I am sorry."_ I could see his eyes glossing over, he was struggling to hold himself together as the woman held no such reserve and let their emotions pour onto the table.

Rose stood, yelling that everyone just wants to give up on me, but she wouldn't. Watching her, my heart constricted, that hollow feeling spreading further through my body. She had popped at some point in the last week. I couldn't help but stare at her stomach, wishing I could see the baby inside.

Like a movie reel, I watched her struggle, fighting every day with the choice to let me go. I listened to her talk to me, praying I would be okay and our lives would go back to normal. I saw her trying to explain what was happening to me to the kids. Neither of them fully understanding why they couldn't see me. They were too little to go into the ICU area, Sasha was not happy about that at all. Both of them begin to shut down, locking everyone out until they could see me.

Pressing a fast-forward button, I saw my funeral. Rose walked with Sasha and Misha at her sides, my family and hers following silently behind them. Eddie talked about me, causing many to laugh and cry throughout his speech. I could see my old teammates in one section, filling roughly fifty seats. Hundreds, if not over a thousand, others were filled in a sea of blue and tan.

Watching my own funeral was surreal but the worst part, hearing Rose sing to me. I should have known, should I ever fall, she would be brave and take the stage to sing me one last song. I listened to the words, each striking a deeper part of me, a part I hadn't felt since I joined Mason.

 _ **Red and blue lights cover 35 like a train**_

 _ **Miles of cars, full of people with nothing to say**_

 _ **The sun's out, you'd think that it's just another ordinary day**_

 _ **Oh and I can't help but be mad, knowing I'll leave and you're gonna stay**_

 _ **They called me on the cell phone**_

 _ **Telling me there's an officer down**_

 _ **And we prayed for a miracle, but you didn't come back around**_

 _ **I've kissed you goodbye a thousand times**_

 _ **But never like I'm doing right now**_

 _ **Oh with twenty-one shots going up for the officer down**_

 _ **I begged you to throw out that t-shirt that I sleep in now**_

 _ **And badge number 231 is all over town**_

 _ **People keep asking if there's anything they can do**_

 _ **But no one can give me back you**_

 _ **They called me on the cell phone**_

 _ **Telling me there's an officer down**_

 _ **And we prayed for a miracle,**_

 _ **but you didn't come back around**_

 _ **I've kissed you goodbye a thousand times**_

 _ **But never like I'm doing right now**_

 _ **Oh with twenty-one shots going up for the officer down**_

 _ **I held ya tight when they told me it's time to let go**_

 _ **And I know that somehow you knew that you weren't alone**_

 _ **They called me and told me**_

 _ **It's my officer down**_

 _ **And I talked to you and begged you,**_

 _ **but you didn't come back around**_

 _ **I've kissed you goodbye a thousand times**_

 _ **But never like I'm doing right now**_

 _ **Oh with twenty-one shots going up**_

 _ **I wish you had more time with us**_

 _ **'Cause thirty years ain't enough**_

 _ **for the officer down**_

I wanted to cry, I wanted to curl into a ball and hide from the display, but Mason made me keep watching. I saw pictures of my children grown up, but it was only Sasha and Misha, I looked to Mason questioningly.

"She lost the baby," he whispered, "Figured we would skip that part."

I had no response to that, I couldn't form words with the multitude of questions running through my head. What, When, How, Why?

He motioned back to the "screen", now showing Misha in his room, a blade to his wrist. I yelled for him, but of course, he couldn't hear me. I could only watch as the knife tore his skin apart, blood rushing out and hitting the carpet. I could see scars running the length of both his arms, how long has he been doing that? Why has no one stopped him, talked to him? The picture changed, Sasha stood before me, maybe sixteen years old, and she was pregnant. She and Rose yelled at each other in the kitchen, blaming each other for my little girl falling prey to some boy. Sasha claimed it was my fault because I wasn't there to protect her, but Rose chastised her for it immediately. She threatened to kick her out of the house, make her learn from her mistakes the hard way.

My family was falling apart, and all I can do is watch it happen.

The screen went black, bringing me back to where Roza still sat at my bedside. She had on different clothes and a book in her hands, one of mine. She read to me, holding tightly to my hand. Her hair was dull, eyes had dark heavy bags underneath and she appeared to not have eaten recently. I hoped she would take care of herself, knowing our baby relied on her health, but I had a feeling she would struggle to eat with my current state.

"See what I mean, all you can do is watch it happen. You can't stop it, you can't help, you can't do anything. It's not as glamorous as everyone likes to think."

"Where are we anyways? Isn't heaven supposed to be something magical? Gold streets, angels singing, no worries, no sorrow, that kind of thing?"

"This is far from heaven my friend, this is the in between state. Once you cross the gates, things get better, but before that, you're here."

"So you haven't crossed yet?"

"Nope, still waiting on my call, but I think he planned it that way."

"What do you mean?"

Mason knew I wasn't into religion like he was, so I needed him to elaborate on all of this.

"He knows everything that is ever going to happen to us, from birth to death, he knows. He knew I would die that day, and that you, in turn, would be taken and in the state, you are now. I think he was waiting for this to happen, so I could be here for you. Help you understand why you need to go back, it's not your time, Dimitri, you still have a lot left to do in the world. I know it, you know, and so does he, that's why I am here to push you back."

"Will you be okay?" I was surprised at the pain in my voice, it was the first inkling of emotion I had felt since I "woke" here.

"I will be just fine, don't feel bad for me," he smiled, light shining in his eyes, "I am far better off here than I was on earth."

"You won't be able to see us when you go, will you?"

"I am not sure, guess I will find out when I get there, but know that I will always be with you," he placed a hand over my heart.

A funny feeling ran over me, like a warm blanket, it bathed my skin. I looked to Mase, amazed at the fact I could actually feel warm again.

"Tell her I love her, the kids too, I miss you guys, but I am okay and you will be too."

He shoved my chest, pushing me from the blackness. I watched his form fade away, his red hair, messy as always, the brightness of his blue eyes, the wide smile I had seen so many times, as I made my way back to myself.

"Thank You, Mason," I yelled, but he was gone and I was waking up in the real world.

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

So yes, it was a dream. Like I would ever make Rose leave him after something like that, but it built suspense didn't it! Hahaha.

How are we feeling guys? Next update will be Sunday and I feel I should let you guys in on a little something.

The line of Fire will be wrapping up in a few chapters.

I know, I know, but all good things must come to an end.

Leave your thoughts as always, and we will see these guys soon.

Much love,

Dream

Additional Disclaimer: I don't own the song- there is a link on my facebook if you want to hear the original, I did tweak a few words.

Officer Down- Hannah Ellis


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

_**I posted on FB, but for those that don't follow (which you should be by the way haha), I have only three chapters left, including this one. So, I will leave this in your hands. Do you want to see more of them before we say goodbye, do you want a few extra chapters? If so, I only ask two things.**_

 _ **One- Review- if we hit 160 before Tuesday, you will get at least one more, if not, well you know.**_

 _ **Two- Follow me on FB! You should be anyways you know, snips and updates go there, so if your not, your missing out.**_

 _ **I have a few more ideas, a few more scenes I wouldn't mind writing, but I have finished the original, so it would mean an extra day or so for updates, but you would get to love it a bit longer. I need answers, everyone. There are so many of you following and favoriting this story, (thanks again for all those by the way), that we should have no problem reaching our goals here! The power is in your hands, choose wisely grasshopper!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty Four**_

 _ **DPOV**_

I could hear the monitor beeping, I could feel the warmth of Rose's hand in mine, I could feel pain. There was an unbelievable pressure in my throat from the tube. My chest hurt, for many reasons, but primarily from the incisions that had been made. My arms weren't bad, but I could feel the pulling of my skin fusing back together, and my head. A migraine didn't begin to cover the pressure and pounding that was going on there.

Testing to see if I could move, I twitched a finger, attempting to gain Rose's attention away from the book she was still reading to me. Blinking my eyes several times, I looked over to her just as her words halted.

"Dimitri," her voice so soft, so loving.

I blinked, squeezing her hand this time to let her know I was indeed awake and here, seeing how I couldn't talk until they took the blasted tube out of my mouth. With a speed that caught me off guard, Rose was out of the chair and running to the door.

"HE'S AWAKE," she bellowed down the hall.

In another blink, there were doctors and nurses filling the room. Removing the, now unnecessary equipment from my body, everyone moved in a synchronized dance. I was poked and prodded, by more than one person, until they concluded that I was breathing on my own and my vitals were where they should be. With a few instructions to Rose, they left the room, leaving us alone for the time being. Rose immediately grabbed a cup of water and a straw, bringing it to my lips.

"Thank you," I managed weakly.

"I am so happy you are awake, Dimitri, you were giving us all quite a scare," she leaned forward and pecked my lips.

I wanted to pull her into the bed and kiss her until I couldn't breathe. However, since I just started doing that on my own, probably not the best idea. She sat on the edge of the bed, forgetting the chair just beside her, and held my hand in hers. I watched tear after tear fall from her eyes.

"Don't cry, Roza."

"I was so scared, I didn't know if you would come out of it," her head hung low, a few strands of hair falling forward. I wanted to reach up and tuck them behind her ear, but I was too weak to move.

"I am okay, Roza, look at me," she kept her head low, bringing her eyes up to see me through her dark long lashes, "I am going to be just fine, Moya Lyubov."

"Do you need anything? Are you in pain?"

"It's not too bad," I lied, which she knew as soon as the words left my lips.

I didn't really want the pain medicine though, it would put me back to sleep and I wanted to talk to her. I needed to hear her voice, see her face, to know that she wasn't going anywhere. I know the note was a dream, but I couldn't help but feel like she will see me differently after she finds out what I did. Before I could protest the medication, Rose had called a nurse in to evaluate my pain level.

"It's about a four, honestly," I spoke to the nurse.

"He's lying," Rose gave me a pointed look, causing the nurse to do the same.

"Okay, maybe more like an eight," I consented.

Turning on the morphine, she told me I would feel drowsy and not to fight it, and left the room. Rose took back to the chair, continuing reading where she left off. I was out in seconds.

Funny thing about morphine, it may take the physical pain away, but it does have a tendency to mess with your mind. I expected to be transported back to that building. Watch myself, or more so, the monster inside of me destroy the pathetic excuse of a man. I thought that would be my worst nightmare, unleashing that side of me and not being able to rein him back in. However, that is not the worst thing that could happen, Rose leaving was.

My mind played out several different scenarios. The first, she simply looked at me in disgust and walked away. Second, she would tell me how ashamed she is of me, how she didn't see how she ever loved me. Third, she told me I would never see the kids again, that I was not a man but a monster. On and on, they kept coming, kept changing, but ending the same. She leaves. Thinking about it, I should have asked Mason to see the future for me staying, too. Maybe then I would have some insight as to how she will handle knowing what I did, what I became in the situation I was in.

Waking up, what must have been hours later due to the lack of light, I found myself like I had in the first dream. No one around, all the lights were off a card on the table. My heart rate spiked, _it's a dream, it's a dream_ , I chanted over and over in my head. When the nurse walked in, I concluded it was not a dream, but reality.

"Mr. Belikov, good to see your awake," she came over by the monitors, as I attempted to slow my breathing, "As happy as I am to see you breathing on your own, I am not happy to see your blood pressure rising so quickly. Are you in pain?"

I thought about it, really thought about it. I could still feel the ache in my chest, but it was more from my heart breaking than the pain from the surgery. My head pain had dulled and my arms hardly hurt at all.

"No, I am okay, I just freaked out waking up and it was dark," it was a small lie, one she bought easily.

"I will turn on some lights for you," she flipped a switch to turn on the outer lights, they weren't as bright as the overheads but gave the room a soft glow. "Your wife wanted us to let you know she had to get the kids home, but she would be back in the morning. She has been worried sick about you," she smiled.

I am pretty sure the smile I gave her in return must have looked a little overboard, but I couldn't help the face-splitting grin. Rose left, but she would be coming back. The nurse handed me the card and left to get me more water. I took a deep breath and opened the letter, still half expecting it to say she was leaving.

 _Papa,_

 _Mama said you were sick and had to stay here for a while, but I am not three anymore, I know you were hurt. Mama won't tell us what happened, but I know you were gone for a while and when DeDe found you, you had to have surgery. Mama has been scared, so have I and Misha, but Misha said Uncle Mase told him you would be okay. I trust Uncle Mase, so I know you will be better soon. I love you, Papa, I miss you. Come home soon, please._

 _-Malyshka_

I smiled, she is smart, people should stop underestimating her. There was another note behind Sasha's, my smile grew at the first line.

 _She saw me writing and said she needed to write one too. She has been begging to see you, they both have, but you know hospital rules, so as soon as they move you get ready for the ambush. They miss you, Comrade, we all do. I hope you got some rest, you need it, don't fight it, okay. I will be back in the morning. Dad had something to take care of and Olivia is on call, so I am taking them home to get some sleep._

 _I love you, Dimitri, sleep tight my love._

Resting my head back, I stared at the ceiling, my smile still present on my face. I still feared her reaction to the truth of what happened, but my hope of her staying with me was growing. I stood by her, surely she will stand by me. I know she had feared the same thing after the Kentucky thing, we really need to stop doubting each other.

The nurse returned with water and a cup of broth, I drank both quickly. The broth was horrible, but it contained nutrients that my body was dying for, literally. With the menial liquid in my stomach, I went back to sleep, a smile still on my lips.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

Dimitri had been on life support for ten days, finally waking this morning. Everyone told me to give up, that we were prolonging his pain by leaving him there, but I refused. I knew he would come back to me, to our family. He didn't go through all that just to give up in the end, he is a fighter, always has been.

Olivia and Dad took off for Virginia a few days after he had been found, organizing and attending the funeral for Tatiana. I was having mixed feelings about her involvement, but in the end, I felt awful for her. I can understand her desire to protect her little brother, even if Randall was a horrible person, she thought she was doing right for her family. Somehow she got caught in the crossfire, or he intentionally killed her, we still weren't sure what exactly happened. The only person that knows just woke up and I told them they had to wait before opening that can of worms.

I was doing better now that he was breathing on his own again. Losing around fifteen pounds over the last few weeks, I had some work to do to get myself back to a healthy point. Eating was easier and I was sleeping through the night, so I was well on my way. Mama and the girls have been wonderful with helping me with the kids and house while I spent most of my time in the hospital. Pavel and Melissa even took them for a few days, which they were most excited about. I struggled with explaining to them about what was going on with Dimitri. I didn't want to scare them, they were still little, they didn't need to know how close their Papa was to dying. Sasha knew something wasn't right with him, and I was sure Misha was well aware of how serious it was, but the Mama bear in me just wanted to protect them from the truth.

I had just finished getting breakfast ready for everyone when my phone rang. Rushing to put the plates on the table and make it to my phone before it stopped, I grabbed it on the last ring.

"Hello?" I hadn't recognized the number.

"Good Morning, my name is Jessica and I am calling for Mrs. Belikov," a woman's voice answered.

"Speaking," not bothering to correct the last name.

"Mr. Belikov asked me to call you and let you know he is being moved into a recovery room, 8734 in the north tower."

My heart soared, "Thank you, Thank you, let him know we will be there soon," I was practically jumping up and down.

Disconnecting the call, my children looked at me like I had grown a second head.

"Eat up, or you won't get to see Papa," I smiled.

Maybe I shouldn't have told them we would leave when they finished. Both inhaled their breakfast at an alarming rate, I was sure their stomachs will hurt later. Though, I couldn't be mad at their excitement, hell I was excited, too. With our meal finished, dressed and loaded into the car, we drove the twenty minutes to St. Joseph's. I had the car valet parked and ushered them to the elevator. Of all the times for everyone wanting to get into an elevator from every floor, it had to be today. The journey up the eight flights took twice as long with how many stops it made. Sasha was pulling on my arm everytime the door opened, I had to keep telling her we weren't there yet. Misha was clinging to my leg, appearing uncomfortable with all the new people that walked in. Finally, the eight lit up, the door opened and I took off with a child's hand in each of mine for his room.

"You guys have to be careful, understood," I looked between the two of them.

Nodding their heads rapidly, I opened the door and unleashed them. They both yelled, "Papa," as soon as they saw him. Sasha climbing the bed on his right side, Misha on the left. Dimitri raised both his arms, letting them snuggle into his sides.

"Careful," I reiterated.

"It's okay, I'm not in much pain anymore," he smiled, kissing both of them on their heads.

I moved to his left side, leaning over our son, to kiss him, "Have you been able to eat anything real yet?" I asked when I pulled back.

"Not really, only liquid right now, hopefully, today they will let me have solid food."

I nodded, taking place in the familiar uncomfortable chair. We kept a light conversation, the kids telling him about what they have done over the last two-plus weeks. I could see the sadness in his eyes as they talked about going to Liss and Chris house for New Years. Since I was in the hospital and the rescue mission was taking place that night, Mama and the girls took them over there for the party we were all supposed to attend.

"Did you talk to Uncle," Misha asked out of nowhere, "He said he was waiting for you."

"I did," Dimitri nodded with a smile, "He told me to let you know how much he misses and loves you. He has been watching over you and is happy in his new home."

"He said he wouldn't be able to talk to me anymore, that he had to go to work."

Dimitri nodded again, "That he does, he was getting lazy," he ruffled Misha's hair, "but he is safe, that is what matters right?"

Misha nodded, Sasha turned her head to Dimitri's shoulder, trying to hide her tears at the mention of her Uncle.

"When do you get to come home?"

"A few days at a minimum, Olivia said I was doing well, but they want to make sure there are no other issues," he answered vaguely. With the brain bleed, they were worried it might have caused other issues or it may happen again.

We stayed with him until lunch, a nurse bringing in a full tray of food for him. I ran the kids down to Subway, letting them eat there so Dimitri could attempt to eat his lunch in peace. Arriving back, he managed to polish off half of his meal, leaving the chocolate pudding and cookie for the kids. We watched movies on the flatscreen in his room, both Sasha and Misha refusing to leave his side. I stayed in my chair, watching them more than the TV. I was beyond happy to see him awake and feeling better. The kids were ecstatic to spend time with Papa, and I could feel my littlest moving around inside me, announcing their happiness as well.

Dimitri had started dozing off, so I whispered to the kids to get up. Reluctant to do so, I let them each give him a kiss before pulling them from the bed. It was almost dinner time, so I made a call to Mama, knowing she would be more than happy to accommodate three more mouths to feed.

The next week passed much the same, wake up, go visit Dimitri, come home by dinner time, go to sleep, repeat. After two, fully awake, weeks in the hospital he was allowed to come home. A month, one whole month he had been gone, and we were ready to have him back.

Dad filled me in on some of the minor points of what all happened the night of the rescue, but I still didn't know what happened before. Dimitri had brought it up a number of times, but I kept putting it off, using the excuse of him needing to heal before dredging up the memories. I was on the fence about whether I really wanted to know everything. A part of me says yes, simply because I want to be there for him and help him. The other part is scared shitless to hear what he endured those five days. I remember how hard it was for me to talk about what happened with Ben, how scared I was that he would leave me in the end. I am assuming that is why he is adamant about telling me, to know that I won't go anywhere because of what happened.

I just finished wiping down the counters when I heard the car doors outside. Dad had picked Dimitri up from the hospital, and let me use the extra hour to get the house ready for his homecoming. I had both the kids clean their rooms, and study areas. The living room was picked up with two of his favorite books on the end table waiting for him. The kitchen had been swept, mopped, and dishes were washed and everything put away. I know how much he loves a clean house when he gets home from work, so I would make sure it was perfect for him today.

Opening the front door, they had just made it to the steps, "Welcome home, Comrade," I smiled at him, meeting him halfway to claim a kiss.

I went to pull back, but he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist, pushing harder into the kiss. We hadn't shared more than a peck here and there while he was in the hospital. I had missed the taste of his lips, the feeling of his tongue caressing mine. I opened my lips to him, running my hands through his hair. I was so absorbed at the moment, I didn't hear the kids arrive, nor did I realize they were watching Dimitri and I make out like teenagers. Sasha wedged her way in between us, causing us to part, laughing at our little girl.

Dimitri went to lift her, but Dad stopped him, "No lifting, remember," he said sadly.

"Right," Dimitri gave a solemn nod, looking down to Sasha, "Sorry, Malyshka."

"You're all better now though, right?"

"Almost, it won't be long before I am one hundred percent again, I promise," he leaned down to kiss her head, wincing slightly.

"Come on, it's chilly out here, let's go sit down, I will get you some coffee," I ushered everyone back into the house, heading into the kitchen, Dad following me.

"Olivia said to make sure he doesn't lift more than ten pounds for the next few weeks. Here is all his medication, he knows when to take it, but there is a list of how much and often if you need it," He placed the bag on the counter.

There were a few different pain management pills, some to help him sleep and some for depression. I was taken aback by the amount of medicine, but more with the fact that he was taking antidepressants.

"Anything else I need to know?"

"Keep physical activity to a minimum, all kinds of activity, and make sure his gauze stays clean."

I gave him a pointed look at the activity comment like I was going to take him straight to the bedroom when he just got out of the hospital. Even if I had been pining for him, I wouldn't jeopardize his recovery. Pouring Dimitri's coffee, we joined everyone in the living room. Having him home, I felt complete. We had a road ahead of us, but we would travel it together and get through the dark days like we always have. Together.

* * *

 _ **DPOV**_

Shifting the pills around in my hand, I tossed them all back at the same time, quickly washing them down with a full glass of water. Olivia had my doctor prescribe me just about every pain management medication you could think of, but I told her I would only use two at max, I didn't like taking pills any more than the next person. Vicodin and Tramadol being my poisons, though they were working rather well, I placed the lids back on those and put them on the top shelf. I was also taking Melatonin to help me sleep and Doxepin to help with the depression and new onset of anxiety I had been feeling.

The weight of my upcoming conversation with Rose was not helping, but it had to be done. Once I told my story, I hoped most of the anxiety would fade. Not knowing how she will take it, not knowing if she will stay or go, was driving me mad. I was fairly certain she wasn't going anywhere, she knew I killed him, but not the extent of what I became, still I was ninety-nine percent sure she would stay. It was the one percent that got me.

My chest wound was almost sealed, but still hurt more than I liked to admit. Bending, stretching, lifting anything, even a plate, hurt. I did my best to hide the winces from Rose and the kids, but I had been caught on a few occasions. Putting an end to whatever I was doing at the time, they would take over and make me sit down. I was feeling so helpless, useless, I needed to do something productive before I lost my shit. Abe was coming by to get the kids for a weekend at his house, letting Rose and I talk, but he wouldn't be here for a few more hours. With nothing for me to do, more or less nothing Rose will let me do, I decided a drive was in order.

"Roza, I will be back in a few hours," I grabbed my duster from the hook, moving to the kitchen to give her a kiss.

"You okay, where are you going, do you have your phone?"

"I am fine. I am going to the station, and yes, mother, I have my phone," I chuckled.

"Make fun of me for caring, Comrade, that's really nice," she fixed me with a disapproving glare, but amusement danced on her lips with a soft lift at the corner. "What's at the station?"

"Nothing, just want to get out of the house, figured I would pay the guys a visit. Emil and Eddie should be coming off the street soon."

"Okay, invite them for dinner this weekend please, we haven't seen them in a while," her smile lit up the room, "Oh, Tasha and Ethan too," she quickly added.

"Will do, Roza, I love you, see you soon."

"Love you more, Comrade."

"Not possible, Milaya," I gave a megawatt smile and headed out, feeling much more optimistic about tonight.

I turned over the engine of my new Hellcat Challenger. With my truck being totaled, I cashed out what I could on it, and bought this baby. With 707 horse's, stock, and a banging exhaust, she was a monster. I wouldn't say I have hit a mid-life crisis with my purchase, but I did feel a bit like an old man wanting to fit in with the young crowd. Since Rose upgraded to the Durango, there wasn't a need for me to have a large vehicle anymore, so I am now the proud owner of Taser. Yes, her name is Taser, she is black with blue racing stripes, white piping in-between and on the outside of them. All black leather interior, black rims and limo tint on the windows. You can hear her fire up from a mile down the road and the sweet rumble sinks into my bones every time. I love her. Just don't tell Rose how much.

I hugged the curves, giving a little extra gas on the straightaways, navigating the old back road with my eyes closed. I didn't lie when I said I was heading to the station, I was just taking the scenic route to get there. Rose and I used to drive this road when we were in high school. We would sneak down to the small lake that laid about five miles off the main road, down a dirt path and hide away from her parents when they were home. Not that it was often, but we always found solace in our little hideaway. I would not be going that far today, but it was nice to just run the old road for the sake of it.

I pulled into the station just as Eddie and Emil climbed out of their units. Parking Taser under one of the overhangs, I stepped out and headed inside with them.

"You know you're not supposed to set foot back in here until you have been cleared. Doctors orders remember?" Eddie half chastised, half laughed at me.

"When that doctor is your wife's sister, slash cousin, she tends to go a bit overboard. I am fine, just look at me." I laughed, putting my arms up and spinning around.

"How's your chest," Emil raised a brow.

"Perfect," I answered a bit too quickly.

"Uh huh," he clicked his tongue, looking at Eddie, "I don't believe him, do you?"

"Nope, but I guess we can't really kick him out, he isn't in uniform."

"I just needed out of the house, wanted to come by and check on things."

We continued walking, they headed into the briefing room, while I wound my way to the dispatch floor. Locating Tasha as soon as I opened the door, I gave her a smile, receiving one in return. Her hand was on the red button, she was speaking to someone on the radio, but her eyes held mine. How these people can do so many things at once still amazes me. I made it to her desk as she let go of the key, standing up to hug me. I quickly put my hands on her arms, stopping her from colliding with my body, she looked as if I slapped her.

"Still healing," I said softly, throwing one arm around her shoulder, one of hers going around my waist, pulling into my side.

"What are you doing here if you aren't better," her voice held concern, but her eyes told me she felt the same way Eddie and Emil did.

"Just needed some air, wanted to check on everyone. How have you been?"

"I am doing good," she smiled, her eyes drifted down, mine followed her gaze.

"You're engaged?" I gasped.

"Yeah, he asked last week."

"Congratulations! I am happy for you both," I gave her another small hug.

"Thank you, how is everything at home?"

"Alright, Rose has me practically on bed rest, 24/7, so I am a bit restless, but I can't complain about all the time I am getting with the kids."

"How is she, after everything?"

"Better, though tonight I am going to tell her everything, so…" I trailed off.

"Is that the best idea, Dimka? Should you really expose her to that, she is what seven months now?"

"Six, and I know, but she wants to know and I can't keep it from her. It's eating me up inside, knowing what I did, what I became, and she is none the wiser."

"I am pretty sure she knows the majority, isn't that enough?" She was being sincere, but for some reason, it was pissing me off. If Rose and I wanted to talk about it, we would, no one had the right to tell us otherwise.

I took a step back, taking a calming breath, why was I getting so worked up over this. Before I could say or do something I would later regret, I thanked her for her concern and walked away. I could feel that coil in my chest, something trying to come out, but I held him back. I have never been quick to anger, I was the calm one for fuck sake. Why did her concern and opinion piss me off? I left the station, with no more than a glance to Eddie and Emil as I opened the door of my car. As I was backing out, I remembered Rose asked me to invite them to dinner. I turned to drive in their direction, quickly letting them know through my rolled down window, and continued back home.

I was calm by the time I pulled up out front, no longer feeling the demon clawing at my mind and heart. The house smelt amazing and I could hear Roza singing in the kitchen. I stood in the doorway, watching her swing her hips while "Despacito" by Fonsi, played through the Bluetooth speaker. I shifted slightly, my pants growing a bit tight as I watched her hips and ass sway to the beat. It's been almost two months since I claimed my wife's body, can you blame me?

Turning around, she jumped ten feet in the air, "Fuck, Dimitri, you scared me," she laughed, "How long have you been watching?"

"Oh, about thirty minutes," I chuckled.

"Liar, I was in the living room thirty minutes ago."

"Okay, more like five, but it felt like thirty when you were dancing like that," I let out in a low husky tone, running my hand over my erect shaft through my jeans.

I could see the desire, lust and overall longing in her eyes, she wanted me just as bad as I wanted her. I missed the feeling of her wrapped around me, in more places than one. Hell, I simply miss her laying her head on me to fall asleep at night. This injury is really putting a damper on our love life.

"Dimitri," speaking no louder than a whisper, "we can't."

"We can try," I countered.

I crossed the space between us, three steps, resting my hands on her growing belly. I stared into those twin pools of want, begging with mine for her to give in.

"No, Liv said.." I cut her off, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I know what Liv said, but I miss you, Roza."

"I miss you too, Comrade, but you still have to heal up and we still have a heavy conversation to have. I don't even want to think about sex right now," she gave a deep sigh, pulling herself from me and moving back to the pot on the stove.

She was right, I shouldn't try to distract her with sex when we hadn't talked about everything yet. Though, a selfish part of me wanted to make endless hours of love to her before everything changed. I wanted one last moment with her before she couldn't look at me the same way.

I took a seat at the island, watching her finish dinner, drinking in every detail of her beauty. The way her hair fell in soft natural waves down to the base of her spine, the deep brown almost black coloring that matched her tan skin so perfectly. The way her purple v-neck shirt hugged her curves snuggly with the added weight of our child. The black leggings that wrapped her ass and legs like a second skin. Her bare feet, I always loved her feet for some reason. Her toes were always painted, even during pregnancy when it was hell for her to do, she managed. They weren't short and stubby, but not long and lanky either, just perfect. Her ankles were swollen, but it looked so cute, not that I would tell her that, she complained all the time about it. To me, it just meant her body was reacting to carrying the baby, my baby. We have two kids and I still get giddy over the thought of _my_ baby inside her.

The early spike of anger I had was completely gone, as dread filled my mind and heart. I was as hot and cold as a Katy Perry song right now, my mood swings were starting to get the best of me. One can only hope that it will go away at some point, I can get back to my old self again. But before that can happen, she will know all the terrible things I went through, the things I did. I kept my gaze on her, following every move she made, memorizing each piece of her.

 _Please. Please don't leave me, Roza._

She set my plate in front of me, "Whenever you're ready, I'm here to listen," she spoke lovingly.

One more minute, just one more to take in her face, her smile, her eyes, those plump lips, one more minute.

A heavy sigh passed my lips, "I followed you..."

* * *

Author's Note:

* * *

Next update will be Tuesday, instead of tomorrow. I have had a hard few days at work, some family issues going on and need a moment to get my thoughts together before I post the next Chapter.

Again, let me know your opinion on ending this in another two, or maybe a few more. As always, I love to hear from everyone and hope your weekend ends well.

Happy Monday!

-Dream


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

_**The awaited talk! I hope I did it justice, leave your thoughts, next update will be Thursday!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty Five**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"I followed you, to Mason. It took me a minute to figure out where you would have run off to. Anyways, I watched you talk to him, then when you left, I sat down for a while. I was running through all the things I knew were coming, all the possible outcomes of what will happen. I saw a car at the gates and decided to leave through the back. When I went to close the gate, Randall shot me in the back, I blacked out."

Part one, that's the easy part. I paused to give her a moment, let her ask a question if she should have one, but nothing. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to be ready to continue. _Deep breath, it's only going to get harder, keep going._ I coached myself.

"I was in and out, I could feel myself moving in a vehicle, then I could hear him talking to Tatiana. She was laughing with him, talking about Liv. I didn't know it was her at the time, not till later, but I heard the familiarity of her voice, it's pretty close to Liv's." _Breathe._ "When they left, I woke up and looked around, finding nothing outside of the little room. I heard them coming back, so I laid back down and then he came in for the first time."

Part two, _you got this._ I continued to keep my eyes locked with hers, I wanted her to be able to see my emotions. More or less, I wanted her to see I may not regret what I did to him, but I do feel remorse for it.

"He dumped a bucket of water on me first, then he hit me with a taser. The electricity fried me for a good minute, giving him the chance to move me and restrain my arms and legs. He gave me no food, water, and I wasn't able to go to the bathroom. At first, he tried to get information about Abe, anything and everything he could use against him. Why I am not sure, he knows all about his "business" and family, so what he thought I knew, I didn't know. He would put a rag over my mouth and nose, dumping gallons of water over my head. I couldn't breathe."

A tear fell from her eyes, I reached over to wipe it away, realizing how my hand was shaking slightly.

"Once he realized I was a lot tougher than he expected, he stopped doing that and started cutting me. He never stabbed me exactly, just shallow small cuts on my arms, legs, thighs, everywhere basically." I ran my fingers over the scars that covered my arm, so many reminders will forever be branded on my skin, leaving me unable to forget. "When he decided that it wasn't enough pain, he poured salt water over the fresh wounds. I tried so hard not to scream, managing to hold back most of it, but some cuts were deeper than others, they hurt more."

Part three _here comes the worst part, please, please hear me out, please._

"When he was gone, I would dream. Dream of you, Roza. Our lives growing up, how we fell in love. I dreamt of the first time I told you that I loved you, the day I asked you to be my girlfriend, all the best memories we have." my voice had dropped to a whisper, clearing my throat, I spoke louder. "Tatiana came in after a particularly good one, she had brought me food. I managed to talk to her and find out why she was helping him. Randall told her he had Liv, that he would hurt her if she didn't help him. Naturally, she chose her daughter over her brother, but in the end, it didn't matter. She tried to call Liv, but Randall showed up as she was hanging up, she hadn't gotten through. I provoked him, told him he was a "lying piece of shit". He realized what was going on, hit me with his pistol and fractured my jaw, then he turned the gun on her, he killed her in front of me."

Rose finally spoke, "So, she wasn't willingly helping him, just like Nathan, they played on family," she shook her head, her tone as soft as a feather.

"We can take a break if you want, Roza, or just stop."

A part of me was begging her to say stop, the other, wanted her to know.

"No, I want to know everything, but can we move to the living room, this chair is starting to hurt my ass," she chuckled.

Taking her hand, I led her to the couch, setting up a few pillows for her to rest against. I was also stalling, wanting as much time to gather my thoughts before we got to the last part. When she was comfortable, she turned to me and waited for me to finish.

One last deep breath.

"He was pissed and left. I managed to free myself after that, and I debated on running, knowing I had a window to leave, or stay and fight him. I chose to fight. When he came back, I jumped him without a thought. I stabbed him repeatedly with his own knife, smashed his head into the concrete and choked him until his neck broke under my hands. I couldn't see anything but the hate I have always had for him, the pain he causes everyone. I pictured all the people he killed, my friends and family that were hurt by him. I couldn't stop, even after I knew he was dead, he was never coming back. I couldn't stop myself. Abe and Pavel pulled me away from him if they hadn't, I don't know that I would have been able to walk away at any point."

Rose flinched back, maybe I should have chosen better words, or given less detail.

"Something took over me, something I have feared since I was a little kid. The side of him in me. He even told me I was like him," I scoffed, remembering how he said I was just like him. How I wanted to kill people as he did.

I didn't know where to go from here, what to say, what to do. So I waited for her to say something, anything.

Only she didn't.

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

I had prepared for the worst, but this was beyond my imagination. The torture Randall put him through, the monster that attacked back, the things he saw and did, one word, wow. I leaned back on the couch, my hand rubbing soft soothing circles on his back. My other on my stomach, calming the movements of our child, as I played back the story. We had been silent for a while, neither of us really sure where to go from here.

"Roza, are you okay?"

I couldn't answer just yet, my mind wouldn't slow enough to voice my answer, so I gave a slow nod. His shaking had slowed, mine was getting there, but not quite yet. I wasn't angry or even scared of what he reviled, I was at a loss. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't be upset at him seeking vengeance on Randall, not after everything he put him through. I didn't fear that he would remain that monster, I knew he would be able to lock him back up and keep him at bay. My heart was broken for him, my voice unable to communicate just how bad I felt for him.

"Roza, I am so sorry," he whispered, "I know I can't be forgiven."

I turned to look into his eyes, "What do you mean? There is nothing to forgive you for, Dimitri."

"You haven't said anything, and you're crying," his hand reached out to wipe the fallen tear. I hadn't even noticed.

"It's not because of you," I took a deep breath, "It's _for_ you. What you went through, what you had to do to make it out, I am so-so sorry, Dimitri."

"You're not afraid…" a slight pause, "of me. I thought maybe he was right, maybe I am more like him than I realize."

"No, no you are not," I whispered.

"How can you be so sure," uncertainty clear in his voice.

"Because I know you. You, Dimitri Alexander Belikov, are the most caring, loving, gentle giant I have ever met. You would never do anything to hurt someone unless they endangered you or your family. Randall hurt people because he wanted to, you don't. You love with your whole heart, even though you hardly let anyone in nowadays, you give everything you have to help others. You are a phenomenal officer, putting yourself in harm's way just so others can be safe. You save lives every day, you work hard to provide for your family and you do everything you can to keep us happy. _You are nothing like him._ "

His eyes scanned my face, looking for any hint I was lying, but I wasn't. I held no fear of him, he would never do anything to harm me or the kids. If there was anything in life I was one hundred percent certain of, it was that he would never be like his father.

"So, you're not going to leave?"

Much like me, that was his biggest fear, I could see it in his eyes. Those deep chocolate brown eyes that I love so much.

"No, baby, I am not going anywhere," I lifted a hand to the side of his face, running my thumb over his own tears that were now running. "We will get through this, just like everything else life has thrown at us."

Turning his head, he placed a kiss on my inner wrist, lingering his lips on my flesh. I blame the pregnancy hormones for making that small gesture feel like so much more. Though I knew it was far more than that. Hearing his struggles, the battle he faced and savoring the fact that he was home, safe and sound with me, I wanted to celebrate that. But I couldn't. He hadn't healed fully yet, and no matter how badly I wanted him, he needed too, mentally and physically.

Unintentionally, I let out a half sigh, half moan at the feeling of his lips still on my skin. Thus causing his eyes to darken, lust filling his features. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against mine, causing another soft moan from me.

"Roza," he growled against my lips.

"Dimitri, as badly as I want to keep going, we can't," murmured into him.

In a blink, he pulled back, frustration taking over. He stood from the couch and walked upstairs, my eyes followed from where my body stayed glued to the couch. I didn't think it would be that easy for him to stop himself, he wanted it as much as I did. Only a minute passed before he was walking back down, phone attached to his ear.

"It doesn't hurt...I promise…" he lifted his shirt to look at his chest. Even with the large scar running down the right side of his chest, it was still beautiful to look at. "Nope, no bleeding today…," he listened to the other side of the conversation, now looking down at the bulge already showing, "Nope, nothing affected there," he laughed. "Thank you!" he bellowed before disconnecting the call.

"Liv said I am fine, as long as we don't put weight on my chest," he smiled.

"Did you really call her?"

"You keep saying we can't, but doc says we can," he wiggled his eyebrows. "She suggested I remain standing, that way we don't have to worry."

I just stared at him. He really called her to ask if we could have sex, and she gave suggestions. This is a new thing, having a sibling, but I am not sure how I feel about her giving my husband tips on how to have sex with me. A giggle escaped my lips, I couldn't hold it in any longer. Dimitri gave me a raised brow, I just shook my head. He reached a hand down to me, his eyes begging for me to give in. I was just about to surrender but was saved by the bell. We no longer held the same fear of opening the door, especially at night, but we weren't expecting anyone either. Definitely not the person on the other side.

"Nathan," Dimitri said taking in the young man on the porch, "What are you doing here?"

"Eddie said you were feeling better, I thought I would drop by and say thank you in person, you know since I never really got the chance," he looked down, a bit sheepish.

Dimitri ushered him in, "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, no thank you, I am fine," he looked to me, "Hey Rose, you are looking beautiful," he smiled.

"Thank you," my words a bit tighter than I meant them to be. I was still on the fence with him, even after Dimitri told me about Ben's control over him. He still stalked me and my family for months, watched my every move, it's creepy. "I'll give you two a...yeah…" I walked just far enough to be out of sight up the stairs, but I could still hear them.

"I didn't mean to upset her or anything, I just wanted to talk to you," Nathan spoke first.

"It's been a long day," Dimitri sighed, "So, how have you been doing? You moved out of the safe house, right?"

"Yeah, they released me after Randall was found. I am living with Eddie for the time being, since I don't really have a place to call home anymore," his voice dropped, saddened, my heart lurched.

"You can't go back to Missouri?"

"After Mom and Dad found out about Ben...Well, they wrote me off too, saying I was just as bad as him and they didn't want me to come back there and disgrace the family any more than we already have."

"I am sorry to hear that. Did you explain your side?"

"I tried, but they wouldn't listen, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for saving my life. I can never repay you, but if there is anything you ever need, I will do my best."

"That isn't necessary, but thank you," Dimitri paused, "Have you given any thought of what you want to do now?"

"Not really, honestly. Eddie said I could stay with him for a month or two, figure something out, but I don't really know where to go from here."

It was silent for a moment, I could practically hear the cogs turning in his head, "What about joining the academy?"

Yup, I had a feeling that's where he was headed.

"They wouldn't take me, not after what I did," Nathan's voice seeped sorrow, but I could hear a hint of wistfulness there too.

"I am sure they would, with Eddie and I backing you, what choice would they have. Besides, we already know you didn't do those things on your own." another pause, "I tell you what if you want to, and you can think about it, let me know. I will stand behind you if it is something you really want."

"Thank you," Nathan choked, was he crying? "For everything, I don't deserve it, but you have been so kind to me."

"You saved my life too, and Rose's. If you hadn't told us their plans, it would have ended a completely different way, so really, I should be thanking you."

"He was wrong about you," Nathan chuckled, "Ben said you were a selfish, over-barring asshole," he laughed harder, "and Randall said far worse things, but you're the opposite."

"They were just jealous, can you blame them," Dimitri joined him in light laughter.

"Not really, you really do have it made, man."

I walked into the bedroom, leaving them to continue talking for the time being. I needed to process not only the thought of Nathan staying around but everything that has happened tonight. Dimitri sidetracked me earlier, but now without his distraction, I could sit and think in peace.

I meant what I said, there was nothing to forgive him for, he wasn't himself when he did those things. It was like something else had taken over his mind, his body. Being starved, tortured and soiling yourself for five days, something would take over me too. I understand his anger, his drive to destroy the source of his pain, I get it. Do I worry he will snap one day and that side will show itself to me? Not really. Do I think he will ever do something like that again? Should a situation arise that he can't get out of without it, maybe, but I do not fear him turning on me or the children. I do, however, worry about how this event will affect him in the long run. He has been rather hot and cold lately. With being under house arrest, so to speak, his restlessness is showing. He keeps going from frustrated, to depressed, to horny, I can't keep up. I can blame my mood swings on the pregnancy hormones, but him, I worry that this will take a while to settle.

I remember how hard it was for me, how things changed inside of me after Ben. Deirdre was the only one I could talk to about the harder aspects of what I went through. Maybe I should talk to him and see if he would be willing to meet with her. Even if it is only once or twice, it could help. I know the department has a psychiatrist too. At this point, I don't care who he talks to, I just want him to talk to someone, anyone, that can help him.

With my thoughts calmed and processed, I changed into my birthday suit, sat back on the bed and waited on Dimitri. If there was one thing I did want tonight, it was to be with him. We have cheated death god only knows how many times, why waste what time we have now. It was another half hour before I heard the door close, his heavy steps on the stairs.

The bedroom door opened, Dimitri's eyes locking onto my body the moment he stepped in. I had left the bathroom light on, giving the room a soft glow, but I could see the hunger clear as day. A quick string of Russian left his lips, the only part I caught was him saying I was going to be the death of him. He always says that, so I know that by heart now.

I moved to my knees, taking one of my breasts in a hand, the other beckoning him forward. Four steps, it only took four steps for him to cross our room and stand in front of me. His eyes were so dark, lust swirling deeply.

"We have to be careful, I don't want you hurting yourself," my voice husky, but serious.

"I know," he whispered, bringing his lips down to mine.

The kisses we've shared over the last few weeks didn't hold a candle to this. So many emotions were poured from both sides. Love, sorrow, fear, desire, lust, everything we have felt over the last month showed itself.

Dimitri laid me back, bringing my body to the edge of the bed and kneeled in front of me. His fingers ran the inside of my folds, up and down, again, before he slipped them inside of me. His name passed my lips in a soft whisper, I have missed this. His tongue soon joined his fingers in bringing me to my brink, nipping at my clit to push me over the edge. Standing back up, we realized we might have a little problem.

Liv said he should stay standing, however, that was not possible. Our bed was too low for him not to have to bend or strain himself at one point or another. We finally decided that the best position would be for him to lie down. I could straddle him and lean back, keeping my weight off of his stomach and chest area. I was also in control, so I much preferred it that way.

I have never been so gentle, so slow with him, but each move I made, I worried he would get hurt. I climbed over him, slowly lowering myself onto his full shaft. Dimitri let out a strong hiss as I seethed him completely inside, I mirrored his reaction. Resting my hands on his thighs, I started moving slowly, testing the waters, making sure it wasn't going to cause him any pain.

"Roza, stop worrying, I am fine," he brought his hands to my hips, guiding me back and forth.

"I can't help it."

"Do you want to stop?"

I could hear how hard it was for him to say that. I didn't want to take this from him too, hell I didn't want to, but I couldn't help but worry. I didn't think he was ready for this, but Liv said it would be okay, she's the doctor after all.

With my lack of a response, he pushed his thumb against my clit, rubbing hard circles against it. Yeah, he will be fine. I picked up the pace, rocking him in and out, circling my hips with every other pump. His breathing picked up, I continued to watch his chest, my own heaving with the deep fast breaths I was taking.

"Roza."

His eyes closed, his thigh muscles tightened, he was close, so was I. A few more and I would be there, him right behind me. Throwing my head back, I let the worry go and focused on the pleasure of riding him. As soon as I felt him pulse inside, I clinched down on him, our releases coming in time with each other. I was in heaven at the feeling, it had been too long.

"FUCK."

My head snapped up to look at him, that wasn't a "fuck" of pleasure, but of pain. I knew it.

"What's wrong?"

"Cramp! ….Leg! …..Fuck!"

I was about to smack him, but stopped myself just in time, "Damn it, Dimitri, I thought I hurt you!"

I rolled off him, letting him move to work out his charlie horse.

"Sorry, Roza, I wasn't expecting it," he laughed, "Come on, I am fine, just like I said I would be."

"Ass, you scared me," I chuckled back at him.

"Come on, take a nice hot shower with me and let's get some sleep."

* * *

Author's Note

* * *

Sorry it was late guys, on the plus side, My nephew pitched a fabulous game and they are going to the playoffs! I am so proud of him, can you tell? Anywho, leave your thoughts as always, a few more and it will all be over. The ending is always bittersweet. I have thoroughly enjoyed this journey with them.

-Dream


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter Twenty-Six**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"How are we feeling today, Dimitri," Deirdre asked, setting up her notepad on her lap.

"Well, thank you," my reply simple.

I have been seeing her for ten weeks now. After telling Rose everything, she and I sat down to discuss dealing with my emotions and overall mental state. We agreed that I would see a physiatrist, and with pressure from Liv as well, I wound up here. Don't get me wrong, she is good at her job. She has helped me come a long way from where I was, but she wasn't used to working with people in my career field.

The first session we had, she asked if I had any feelings of suicide. I laughed and told her yes, I will never forget the look on her face. I had to explain the reasoning behind my answer in detail, she still doesn't understand six weeks later. In our line of work, we run toward the gun wielding maniacs, into burning buildings and other situation that could take our lives any second. We do it without a second thought and our heads held high. So yes, I am suicidal to a point. I willingly put myself in these situations that can kill me, but no, I wouldn't put a gun to my head and take my own life. Telling her that did little to reassure her of my mental stability. Ever since the second session, I found it harder to open up and be honest. I felt she was judging me for my choice of work.

I talked Rose into letting me see the department shrink, but that ended before it really began. When I had talked to her in the group, she was very professional, courteous and empathic. One on one, she was a badge bunny, and I was not having any of that. Her constant come on's and "offers" to relieve my stress, I went back to Dierdre after only an hour with her.

"You're going back to work tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes, Olivia cleared me to return for light work, so I will be on the desk for another two or three weeks."

"Are you ready for that?"

Here she goes again, "Why wouldn't I be? My wounds are healed, and I am doing no one any good sitting at home, I need to be at work."

"All your wounds?" she quirked a brow.

"Yes," I all but growled.

She keeps pushing that I am not mentally stable, which if she tells my Chief that, I won't be allowed back. I needed her to understand that this is the job I chose, and it comes with a lot of stress and hardship, but it is what I want to do.

"So, no more dreams? No more bouts of depression or running thoughts?"

"The dreams will never go away, talk to a seasoned officer and he will tell you the same thing. The things we see and deal with stay with us forever, they never fade." I inhaled deeply, "As for the depression and running thoughts, that is over. I haven't had any mood swings like I was for weeks. Rose and I are back to normal, well kind of, she is having more mood swings now but that is expected since she is over half way through her third trimester. My thoughts have been geared toward preparing for our baby and making more memories with our children. I have learned where my focus needs to be to keep the bad thoughts away."

"That is good, but with returning to work, how do you feel about putting yourself into the position to fall back into that state?"

"I am confident that Rose will help me, my fellow officers will be there, I have a support system for that."

"I am not doubting that, but a pregnant wife and other who are dealing with the same things, are they the best to confide in? Do you have anyone else that you could go to? Someone not as close to the same situations?"

"Yes, they are, they understand what I am going through, and yes, I have others. My old team mates, my family, I have backing if needed."

She nodded, writing something down and closing her book. "I will write your Chief to advise I believe you are mentally fit to return."

I don't know what possessed me to ask, but I lifted a brow and opened my mouth, "Why?"

"Because I believe it is true. You are a very strong man, Dimitri, but even the strongest fall. You have shown me you are capable of getting back up, though. I needed to hear you admit that you have help and will seek it when necessary. I don't push your buttons for my own enjoyment," she chuckled, "Though I must admit, getting under your skin was easier than Rose's was. Both of you struggle to open up to others, but you need to, you see that now and for that, I will release you."

"Thank you," I didn't know what else to say.

She was releasing me, I was clear to return to work on all ends. I couldn't wait to suit up and head out, even if it is just on the desk. I headed back home with a smile on my face, one that wasn't going away anytime soon. I couldn't wait to tell Rose and the family tonight at dinner. Rose had already planned a dinner with everyone at Abe's, so I wouldn't have to repeat myself a hundred times. Plus, Eddie, Emil, and his family, as well as Tasha and Ethan would be joining us too.

When I pulled in the drive, Rose was already gone. I changed clothes, attaching my shield to my belt at the front, and my pistol on my hip, I left for Abe's. I attempted to wipe the shit-eating grin from my face, but I just couldn't. I was excited, overly so, but this is the best thing to happen to me in months.

Almost everyone was there by the time I pulled down his drive. I could see Sasha and Misha playing with Emil's two boys in the front yard. Rose, Tasha, and Celeste sat on the front porch chatting and watching the kids play. Abe, Pavel, Emil, Eddie, and Ethan were off to the left manning the grill. Well, Pavel was grilling, the others were lingering around it with him. I assumed Suzanne, Melissa, and Mama were inside the house.

"PAPA!" Misha hollered, "Watch this!"

Jason, Emil's son, tossed a ball to Misha. He swung with such determination, it was really funny with how serious he looked right now. I was blown away when the ball flew off the bat a good hundred feet or so.

"Whoa," I whispered to myself, "Misha that was amazing!"

He is only four, about to turn five in a few months, but was hitting like I was at ten. I made my way to him, picking him up so I could look at his face. His smile mirrored mine from earlier.

"Do I have to play T-ball?"

"You don't want to? You're really good though."

"I know," he smirked, "Can I skip T-ball and play with the big kids?"

"I'm not sure, but I will look into it, okay?"

He wrapped his arms around my neck, "Thank you, Papa," he kissed my cheek.

"You're welcome, now, do that again, I want to see more."

I put him down and walked to where Rose was sitting. I gave her a quick kiss, said hello the the other ladies, and sat down to watch Misha hit ball after ball. I was seriously blown away with how good he was, _guess he was born with it,_ I laughed to myself. He would accomplish amazing things with that kind of talent, and I for one, couldn't be prouder to be his Papa. Watching him, his determination, dedication, and even frustration when he missed, I couldn't help but picture him grown up. When Mason showed me what life would be like without me here, seeing Misha in the state he had been, I shattered. Seeing him now, knowing that future is no longer in his cards, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I pictured him as a teenager, my height and build, standing on the mound throwing the first pitch of his senior year. In the box, belting home runs to win the game. Opening a letter to his top college choice, with a full scholarship offer. Playing in the college world series, and winning it. Drafting to the majors, playing for his childhood favorite team and making history. I saw me, growing up all over again, but this time, I would make sure I was beside him. Supporting him in everything he does, helping him up when he falls and praising him when he does the impossible. I would be the father I always dreamed of for him.

Tearing my eyes from him, I found Sasha playing with Jacob, Jason's twin. I laughed watching them run around after each other. Reminded me of chasing Roza around, that though sparking a different emotion in me. With Misha, I felt pride and honor, with Sasha, I felt pain. I wanted her to stay my little girl forever, never grow up. Sasha stopped running, turning to look at Jacob. If I hadn't known any better, I would say the look in her eyes was one I knew too well.

"Roza, you need to talk to your daughter," I growled.

"They are just playing, Comrade," she laughed.

"No, I know that look. I remember another six-year-old little girl with that same face."

"Yeah, I do too, but look how that turned out," she moved to sit next to me, resting her head on my arm, wrapping her arms around it.

"Turned out pretty damn good," I kissed her head and rested my cheek on top.

Sasha and Jacob took off running again, I followed their every move. Jacob was nine, almost ten, but he was short, with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked nothing like I had at that age, but I could still picture Rose and I doing the same thing. Running around the yard, laughing until the cows came home, enjoying our youth. I was not ready to see Sasha do that. I mean, I want her to enjoy life, be happy, but I don't want her to grow up.

Abe and Pavel interrupted my inner turmoil by announcing dinner was just about ready. We hauled the kids inside to clean up, the women all went to the kitchen to help set up, the men moving inside to the living room.

"You ready for tomorrow," Eddie asked.

"More than you can imagine," I laughed, "Even if I will be sitting at the desk, I am just happy to get out of the house."

"Tash said she is ready to train you for dispatch, think you can handle it?" Ethan joked, or at least I hoped.

"Are you being serious?" he gave a huge smile, "No, No, I am not doing that."

"Chief's orders," Emil chimed in.

"I take it back, I will stay home," I shook my head vigorously.

"Aw, is it Tasha or the dispatching part?" Ethan fixed me with a smirk.

"Dispatch. I can't do the things they do, there's too much going on at once, I won't be able to keep up."

I was not ashamed to admit that I couldn't handle the behind the scenes aspect of law enforcement. My place was on the streets, dealing with one thing at a time. Not behind a computer doing fifteen things at once, while tracking forty officers and more EMS and Fire crews. Nope. I can't do it.

The guys laughed at me, but they I knew they all felt the same way. We have all had to sit with them at one point or another, it's another world in there.

"Don't worry, Dimka, I will be there with you," Tasha walked in, laying a hand on my shoulder, "Dinner is set when you boys are ready."

Ethan, Emil, Eddie and I kept dinner conversation rolling, telling stories of the lighter things we have dealt with. For some reason, when you put a group of cops in a room, no matter what, you can't get them to not talk about work. Rose voiced her opinion on it once, Celeste shutting her down with an "it's what they do" look. When dessert was brought out, I finally cleared my throat and addressed everyone.

"I just wanted to thank you all, for everything you have done for me and my family over the last few months. I had my last session with Deirdre today, she will be sending in my release papers to return to active duty."

"So you won't be on the desk?" Tasha asked.

"No, I will be, I still have to wait on Liv to clear me physically, but mentally, I am good to go."

"Where is she tonight," Pavel asked, "I thought for sure she would have joined us."

"With her boyfriend," Rose cooed, everyone turned to look at her, waiting for her to elaborate, "She's dating Nathan."

"Nathan, as in our Nathan," Eddie looked to me.

"Yeah, we had him over for dinner a few times after I got out of the hospital, they hit it off," I shrugged.

I could care less that they were together, honestly, it made me happy. Neither of them has had it easy over the last year.

"Isn't she like ten years older than him?" Emil asked.

"Seven," Rose corrected, "But if they are happy, that's all that matters."

"Speaking of sisters, where are mine, Mama?"

"Paul had a game, so Karo and Sonja went to that, Vika said she wasn't feeling well, so her and Ivan stayed home."

"She's due any day now isn't she?" Abe asked.

"Yes, if she doesn't go into labor by Thursday they will be inducing her," Mama replied.

That brought on a whole nother round of conversation. I was excited to know my nephew would be here in a few days, we needed more men in this family, the woman were starting to outnumber us. Since Rose and I decided to keep ours unknown until the day of birth, I was still holding hope for another boy, girls are hard work.

Winding down the evening, we all said goodbye and headed to our respective homes. Rose was silent as we laid down in bed, but I noticed the little winces here and there.

"Roza," I rose a brow.

"I'm fine, I am pretty sure it's Braxton-Hicks," she continued to rub her stomach.

"How far apart?"

"Ten, fifteen minutes," she said sheepishly.

"For how long?"

"A few hours, it's nothing, Comrade, we still have two weeks."

I watched her, and the clock, timing each contraction until I saw for myself how close they were getting. After another thirty minutes, they were only five minutes apart and lasting about two minutes each. I grabbed her hospital bag, got the kids dressed and loaded the car.

"What are you doing?" Rose yelled as I made my way back downstairs with the babies bag.

"Taking you to the hospital," I answered walking back into the room, "Come on, Mama," I lifted her up and dropped my arm around her waist. "Sasha, Misha, let's go."

I called Mama and Abe on the way, they would meet us there. Abe would watch the kids, while Mama would be in the room with us. I had just pulled into the parking lot when a particularly hard contraction hit, Rose growled as her body tightened.

"So the last time we are doing this, understood," she barked at me.

"Yes, ma'am," I chuckled, and helped her out after it passed.

Abe was already there, taking Sasha and Misha into the waiting room, while I went with the nurse to settle Roza in. Mama hadn't shown up yet, so I went out to the waiting room to see if she was here yet, running into Ivan and Vika coming out of the elevator.

"Dimka!" Vika grinned, "What are you doing here?"

"Rose is in labor, and I take it you are too," I smiled.

"He decided he didn't want to wait till Thursday," she laughed, "Wait, Rose still has two weeks."

"Yeah, that's what she said, but she is going to be pushing any minute, she's already at a seven. Have you seen Mama?"

"She was right behind us, she must have stopped to talk to Abe."

"Alright, get settled, I will check on you later," I kissed her head and went in search for Mama.

Locating her quickly, we walked back into Rose's room just in time. Less than an hour labor, a new record for her. The room transformed and Liv talked Rose through her pushes. I held her right hand, Mama on her left, all of us eager to meet our new family member.

"One more, Rose," Liv coached.

A battle worthy cry left Rose's lips, followed up by the beautiful cry of our child. Rose fell back on the bed, breathing heavily, and I took in our baby.

"It's a boy, Roza," I cheered, kissing her before moving to cut the cord.

The nurses brought him up to her chest, laying him skin to skin with her. Mama took pictures like she always does, while Rose and I just stared at him.

"You still okay with our name choice?"

"Of course, Milaya, I wouldn't have it any other way."

I brushed my lips against hers, "I love you, Roza."

"I love you, too, Comrade."

The nurses took him to weigh and measure, and I left for them to clean up Rose, and check on Vika. Ivan was in panic mode with the langue Vika was throwing at him. I couldn't help but laugh, remembering Rose during her first labor. After telling Ivan how Rose threatened to castrate me, he lightened up, Vika hadn't reached that point, yet. We would still be waiting a while for her to deliver, so I went to get the kids and Abe.

"You guys ready to meet your brother?" I looked between Sasha and Misha, both jumping up at the sound of my voice.

Rose had been cleaned up, holding our baby boy to her chest as we walked in. Sasha and Misha climbed onto the bed to get a better look at him.

"What's his name?" they asked in unison.

Rose looked between them, then to me, "Mason Asher."

Misha reached up to catch his Mama's fallen tear, "Don't cry, Mama, Uncle Mase is happy," he smiled.

She only nodded, I doubt she could trust her voice, much like me. We locked eyes with each other, a thousand messages flowing through us. We had talked a lot about names, girls were easy, but every boy name didn't fit, didn't seem right. When she brought up Mason, I knew that was it. Both of us agreed there was no better way to honor his sacrifice than to name our son after him. He is after all the only reason I made it home to my unborn child and family.

Hearing his name now, I no longer felt the pain of his loss, but the joy in my newborn son. I would miss him forever, I would remember him longer, but I would no longer cry at the sound of his name.

Vika delivered an hour later, Dimitri Ivan Zeklos, I was floored when they announced his name.

"The two most important men in my life," she told me.

I held Mason in one arm, Dimitri in the other. My entire family was together in one room. Life couldn't get any better than this moment.

* * *

**BREAK**

* * *

"2231, Show me in service with 2347, I will be primary," I keyed the radio with a broad smile.

"2231, Received, welcome back," Tasha answered.

I pulled out of the parking lot, heading to my district with the new rookie in my shotgun seat. I haven't had a partner since Mason, but I guess they could have given me someone worse.

"So, where to first," Nathan asked.

"First, we eat, then we will set up for traffic, hopefully, the day stays…" I trailed off, not wanting to say the word.

"Quite" he filled in.

They really should teach them in the academy not to say that word.

"2231, copy a traffic accident," Tasha came across as if she knew what he just said.

I fixed him with a glare, "2231, go ahead."

She read off the details and we headed in the direction of the call.

"Rule number one, Rook, never ever say that word," I spoke sternly, but I couldn't help my smile.

"Right, sorry," he laughed.

I drove the familiar streets at a leisurely pace. I was in no rush to get there, it was a fender bender in a parking lot, so there was no immediate danger or threat. Nathan and I exchanged a few remarks about how and why we proceed to calls the way we do and arrived on the scene ten minutes later.

With blue forms issued, we climbed back into our car and headed to the local diner for breakfast. We sat in silence as we ate, my thoughts traveling to thoughts of Roza and Mason. After he was born, I went back to work for two weeks, riding the desk as expected. Chief then granted me two weeks of maternity leave, which Rose and I discussed for hours on whether I would actually take it. She was alone after both Sasha and Misha were born, so she knew how to handle it on her own. But I wanted to be there for it, so in the end, I took it. I was overjoyed to wake up in the middle of the night to change or feed him. I missed that with the first two, I didn't want to miss it with the last.

I was missing them like crazy already, but I was more than happy to be back at work, on the streets. Slipping my shield on this morning, I felt peace wash over me. I would have thought going back to work I would feel the burden of the job, the stress, but I didn't. I felt lighter with my gear on, happier. Even a new partner didn't ruin my good mood.

Nathan joined the Academy just after our first talk, graduating last Friday. I was proud of him, which given his reaction, he wasn't told that much growing up. He is a completely different person than his brother and is now like a little brother to me. When Eddie asked me this morning if I minded him being assigned to me, I was quick to accept him. I would rather him fumble through his first few weeks with me than someone else. I remember how many times Mason and Eddie had to correct me when I first started. I would be there for Nathan like Mase had been for me.

We were about halfway through our meal when the tones sounded off in our ears. I put down my utensils, threw a twenty on the table and motioned for him to follow. He didn't hesitate, leaving the diner on my heels. Unlocking our unit, we hit the lights and sirens, leaving the parking lot in the direction of the call being broadcasted.

"2231, show us en route, code 3," I keyed when Tasha finished.

I pushed the CD button, turning it to track three, and blared "Bad Boys", singing the whole way.

 _ **THE END**_

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Author's Note:

* * *

There we have it guys!

We didn't reach 160 in time, so this is the last chapter. BUT there will be an epilogue, I will have that up by Sunday! This journey with you all and our loving Dimitri and Rose has been amazing. You all are so wonderful in all the encouragement, criticism and love you have shown. I can not thank you guys enough! You are all so awesome! I will continue to write, but it will be a while, a month or so before a new story comes out. I need to catch up on some reading, do some research and figure out exactly how I want to go about the new story. Check my facebook for updates on that, there will also be a poll coming out soon in reference to the new story. Now with all that said, I have to put the dedication into this.

This whole story is in honor of my best friend. 2231, Adam Davis, who gave his life just over 5 years ago. I begged and prayed that he would make it out of his accident and come back to us. That is why some of these scenes killed me to write, the emotion behind them was very real. It is everything I felt when laying down my best friend, hearing his name on a radio for the last time, knowing I would never get to call his number again. This is probably the hardest and most emotional story I will write, but in a way, I am glad I did. I still struggle every day without him. I hear his voice in my dreams, see his face in strangers.

It never leaves you, just like Dimitri says time and time again, the pain is there, every day, forever.

Again, thank you all so much for everything you have shared with me through this.

Always,

Dream


	28. Epilogue

_**Here it is, the final chapter. I have enjoyed this so much. I have laughed and cried writing this, I know you have too. I will be back with more, check my facebook for updates on the new story, as well as the ongoing poll for what you want to see me write first. I love you all so much for everything you have provided me with during this journey. I can not express how grateful I am to all that have favorited, reviewed and followed this story.**_

 _ **Now, without further ado, help me say goodbye to Officer Dimitri Belikov.**_

* * *

 _ **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**_

* * *

 _ **Epilogue**_

 _ **Eight Years Later**_

 _ **DPOV**_

"Alexandria get back here."

I never yell at my kids, especially my baby girl, but she just cut me, deep.

"No, I hate you, go away," she slammed her bedroom door.

I stared at the door, expecting lasers to fire from my eyes and melt the metal of the knob. No such luck. I could easily break it down, but then I have to replace it, not practical. Besides, she was sixteen now, she needed her privacy, her space when she was upset, I wouldn't take that from her. No matter how badly hearing those words killed me.

"What did you do now, Comrade?"

"Nothing, I just picked her up from school," the corner of my lip twitched, struggling to hide my smile.

"Uh, huh, and…," her hand waving in the air.

"Nothing," I couldn't meet her eyes, turning away I headed to our room to change from my uniform.

"Fine, I'll ask her," she mumbled and knocked on Sasha's door.

Chuckling I closed our door and began peeling away my shield. I carried a light smile thinking about the fear in that boy's eyes when I pulled into the parking lot. Even better when I got out of the car and walked up to them. He was too close to my little girl, looking at her like I look at Rose when she's pinned beneath me. I was not liking that one bit. I know she is wanting to date, but I am just not ready for that.

When I got her in the car, she yelled at me, actually yelled. I was floored, unable to respond to her outburst at first. Normally, I would write off her anger to embarrassment, it has been happening a lot more throughout the last few years. But the way she looked at me, the ice in her tone as she said, and I quote, "You are the worst father in the world, I fucking hate you."

Hearing my Malyshka, my sweet angel use the F-bomb wasn't even the part that knocked the breath from my lungs, but the "worst father" comment was. I would hide my unease of that comment to Rose, and even to her, but it struck me far deeper than I want to admit.

It has been eight years since I killed Randall, the utmost worst father, and not a day goes by that I don't remember the monster I was. The power I felt when his life ended by my hand. Since then, I have tried my damnedest to be everything and more for my family. I coached Misha and Mason's baseball teams. Took Sasha on "Daddy Daughter" dates twice a month. I showered them all in attention and love, spending every free moment I had with them. I never wanted them to question how much I love them, how far I would go to make sure they were happy and safe. I didn't want the monster to rear his head again, ever. So far, I have done a damn good job at keeping him locked up. But her comments forced my mind back to those days with _him._ When I was a child, hiding in my room from him before I was big enough to put a stop to his abuse of Mama. When I was captured, tortured, and almost died because of him. Who could be a worse father than him?

In my heart, I know Sasha didn't mean what she said, she was just angry and embarrassed. The old saying of "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me", words can hurt, a lot. Even when you know they were said out of raw emotion and not logical thoughts.

I turned on the taps, stepping under the hot spray as I washed my worries and the day events from my mind and body. Rose and I had a new routine, which started after Mason was born, I would tell her all the things I did each day during our downtime. Today's conversation was going to be interesting. I turned off the water when my skin started to redden, dressing and heading back downstairs.

"You can ask Papa, you have to bend your back more when you're throwing. It's the only way to get power," Misha instructed his little brother.

"No, power comes from your arm, not your back," Mason countered, looking to me, "Right, Papa," he gave a sweet innocent smile.

Misha rolled his eyes, expecting me to tell Mase he was right. As the baby, he was hardly ever told no, or corrected on anything that wasn't dire.

"Nope, Misha is correct. The more you use your body in your throw, the more power you get."

He opened his mouth to contradict what I was saying, but I continued with the lesson, "Think of it like this. When you push open a heavy door, is it easier or harder when you use your whole body?"

"Easier," he consented.

"Exactly. The momentum you create with your body down the hill, bending your back to shift that force to your arm, the harder you will throw. Listen to your brother, he knows what he is talking about."

"Yes, Sir," he mumbled, giving Misha an evil look, in which he smirked back.

Those two, sibling rivalry doesn't begin to cover it. Misha did indeed skip T-ball, moving right up to play with the eight-year-olds, at the age of five, in coach pitch. Mason followed the same suit when he turned five. They have been playing with kids two or three years older than them since the start, making them highly envied amongst their teammates, and specifically to the parents. Most thought I was trying to hard to have them follow in my footsteps, which in a way I wanted them too, but I wasn't pushing them. They chose to skip those leagues, they would be holding themselves back from their potential playing with kids their age. Not that I am bragging or anything, but my boys were a cut above the rest.

Misha was now playing the highest league the city offers, so this next season, we would be moving him to a travel team. All those boys do is play baseball, all year round. It would be more difficult for us, me especially, to attend all of his games and practices, but it would benefit him greatly. Mason wanted to join Misha's team and skip finishing out his city league days. Rose and I agreed that there was no way we would let him play with kids over twice his age and size. The three year age gap wasn't awful, given they both got my height and build, they weren't much smaller, but the seven-year gap for Mason, that was too much.

Rose and Sasha entered the living room just as Misha and Mason started in on another round of techniques, pro's and cons and such of pitching. Rose nodded her head, motioning me to follow them toward her office. I stood leaving the boys to their comparisons and closed the door behind us. Rose stayed standing next to me, Sasha occupied the lounge chair by the window. I looked between the two of them, wondering what Rose said that had Sasha looking mortified. Before I could address the elephant in the room, Sasha stood and crossed the ten feet that separated us, throwing her arms around my waist.

"I am sorry, Papa, I didn't mean it, I promise," she cried into my shirt, gripping it like her life depended upon it.

"I know you didn't malyshka, but next time, think before you speak," giving her head a kiss, I squeezed her tight to me.

"I will, I love you, Papa," her doe eyes locked onto mine, tears spilling rapidly.

I wiped them away with my thumb, "I love you too, Sasha. Now, dry your eyes and go get ready for supper."

She released me and made her way to her room, I turned to Rose, "What did you say to her?"

"First I made her tell me what happened, which you should have told me by the way. Then I made her realized how shitty she would feel if you died tomorrow and that was the last thing she ever told you."

I gawked at her, "Why would you do that?"

"Because it could very well happen," she spoke as if we were discussing a chance of rain in the forecast.

We have come a long way in dealing with the "what if's" of my job. The old Rose would have flipped and broken down even thinking about me dying tomorrow. Now, if it actually happened, well I am sure that would be a different story, but we no longer let the fear of losing each other dictate our lives. We cherished everything together more, we made more time just for us. Accepting the fact that someday, maybe, I may not come home, and all we will have left is the memories. So we embrace it more, live in the moment like we did as teens.

"She's a teenager, she is going to get mad at me, it's fine," I tried to end the subject, "What's for dinner?"

"Steak and Eggs, and no, it's not fine. I remember what I was like to fight with Mom, then for her to be gone with so many things unsettled with us, I don't want that happening to her. Besides, you can't tell me that you weren't hurt by what she said, I can see it in your eyes, Comrade," she gave me a level stare.

"You're right, I was, but I know she wants to do things she should be able to do at her age. Date, hang out with her friends at the mall, go to the lake for a weekend with a friend's family, but _I_ won't let her. She is bound to get mad at me."

"Then maybe you should start to lighten the ropes," Rose whispered, placing a hand on my chest, "She is growing up, Dimitri."

"I know, and I hate it."

Rose only nodded, signaling she was in agreeance with me. I placed my hand over hers, leaning down to capture her lips in a delicate kiss. We both hated seeing the children grow up, it happened way too fast for either of our liking. Just yesterday I heard Sasha cry for the first time, now she is sixteen and a Senior in high school, she skipped two grades when we first made the transition to public school. She wanted to go out with her friends and be like them. We often had to remind her she was two years younger than most and couldn't do everything they did.

I released her lips and opened the door.

"Did you get the results from your exam yet?" Rose asked as we pulled the extra pillows from the bed. Why we had all these throw pillows that we didn't sleep with I will never understand.

"Yes," I didn't raise my eyes to look at her.

"And…"

"I passed," my smile split my face.

I have been studying and working my ass off before taking the Sergeants exam. I wanted this promotion, needed it. Today I was informed by Petrov that not only did I pass, but they would be promoting me without the oral board interview portion. Which never happens.

Rose jumped on the bed, using it like a trampoline to fly into my arms, peppering my face in kisses.

"I am so proud of you!" punctuating each word with another kiss, ending on my lips.

My hand went to the back of her neck, holding her there and leaned her back onto the bed. My other hand ran from her thigh to her hip, caressing the soft skin hidden by my T-shirt. Her fingers threaded through my hair, pulling gently. A small growl crossed my lips, the same time a knock on the door caused a different growl.

"We're busy, What do you want?" I barked albeit harshly.

"Gross," Sasha bellowed from the hall, "I need Mama, now please, not in thirty minutes."

I laughed, thirty minutes, yeah right, we would be at this for hours if I had it my way.

"You just love embarrassing her don't you?" Rose laughed.

"Yes, yes I do."

I pulled away from Rose, letting her right her shirt and go handle Sasha's crisis. I finished turning down the bed, stripped of my clothing and climbed in. Leaning myself against the headboard, I ran my hand over my cock, keeping myself hard for her. Not that it was challenging, she looked at me and I was thicker than the old oak out back.

Waiting for her to return, my mind ran over the last eighteen years of marriage with her. We have surely held our fair share of trials, but nothing has broken us. We had literally been through hell and back, our marriage and family stronger than ever in the end. We have three amazing kids, a home, and an unbelievable family together. We still fell in love with each other every day, deeper and stronger than the day before.

I couldn't help but picture the next ten years with her. I would retire at that time, twenty years of service and I would be done. Sasha would be graduating from Med school, she wanted to be just like her Auntie Liv and settling down. Misha hoped to go to a four-year college, get a degree in business and draft to the MLB, of course following my footsteps. Mason still had time to figure out what he wanted, he was only eight after all. Though when I was eight, I was meeting the girl who would become my wife, so I can't really say much there.

Rose and I would travel once the kids were grown and out of the house. We are already planning to spend a month cruising the Mediterranean and Caribbean Islands. A trip to Russia for the whole family was in the books as well, I wanted them to see and experience my homeland, their heritage.

Ten years, it will go by in a blink.

Rose walked back in, closing and locking the door, "Now, where were we," her man-eater smile playing on her lips.

I pulled the covers back, still stroking myself, "Right here," I glanced down.

Her expression shifted to one of lust in a moment, crossing the distance of our room, she climbed right onto me, sinking herself onto my shaft.

"Always so ready," I growled.

She was _wet_ , unbelievably so, and so so warm. She rocked against me, bringing her hand back to my hair, I mimicked her.

"YA lyublyu tebya, Dimitri," she murmured against my lips.

"YA lyublyu tebya, Roza, vsegda i navsegda." (I love you, Roza, Always and Forever)

* * *

 _ **RPOV**_

 _ **Another 10 Years Later**_

"2231," Dimitri paused, clearing his throat and choking back his tears, "Show me out of service. Thank you for all you have done for me, all of you."

"You're more than welcome, Dimka. I will show you end of watch, thank you for your service and dedication over the last twenty years," Tasha answered him, you could hear the tears in her voice.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, the kids joining me in embracing our hero.

"Congratulations, Comrade," I wiped a tear from his eye, as he brought his lips to mine.

We separated, letting Dimitri go to turn in his radio and equipment. Twenty years of service and he was retiring today. I know how hard it was for him to let go of this world. Saying goodbye to this life is not easy, but we had agreed to this many years ago. After Mason was born, we talked for many long nights about how we wanted the rest of our lives to play out. I still feared every day that he wasn't going to come home. I learned to live with it, accepting this life and all that comes with it, but we both agreed that twenty years was enough. If he made it to twenty he would retire and we would travel. He would always bleed blue, so would our family, but it was comforting to know I no longer had to fear each and every time he walked out the door.

I had arranged for a retirement party for him tonight at Baba's house, everyone would be there. His fellow officers, as well as some of his old Ranger's mates, our families, and friends. Tonight we would celebrate the fact that he made it. It was a sobering thought, not everyone made it out of that life, Mason hitting closest to home but he did, and for that, we would celebrate.

Arriving at Baba's, Sasha and her husband Aaron started on setting up the inside of the house. They had been married just over a year now, much to Dimitri's dismay, he had a harder time letting go then Baba did with me. But Aaron was a good man, as a Lawyer in Dallas, he could provide well for her, he treated her like the princess she has always been to us. She graduated Med school in New York and moved back here to be close to home, they now own a home in Grapevine, about thirty minutes north of us. Thankfully, no grandchildren yet, I was not ready for my baby to have babies.

Misha and Mason were in charge of setting up outside, tables and chairs, along with Paul and Little Dimitri. Misha was drafted to Boston last season, following right after his Papa. I was not all too happy about my baby boy moving across the country, but I was beyond proud of the man he became. Still no wife or girlfriend for him, but at this point in his life, he didn't need to worry about such things. He was laser focused on breaking records and making history with his time.

Mason would be graduating next week, he was the only of our children to not skip grade levels. Not due to lack of intelligence, he was a genius, legally, but he wanted to stay in school with kids his own age. Dimitri and I had caved and allowed him to move up with Mason on the travel baseball team when he was ten, but he found himself hating it. The older kids picked on him, not like an older sibling, but far worse. Misha got into countless fights defending him, therefore causing several issues for them both. Mason decided he would rather go back to playing with kids his own age, making things easier on everyone in the end. So he finished school with his classmates, enjoying his life a bit more with the kids he grew up with during his early years.

The party was in full swing by eight o'clock. Everyone standing around, drinking and sharing stories about the "good ol' days". I weaved in and out of people, making sure everyone was taken care of and not in need of anything. Baba finally catching my arm on one of the many rounds.

"So, you guys are taking off for Russia next week right?"

"As soon as Mason crosses the stage, we will be on the next flight out," I beamed. I was beyond excited to see Dimitri's home.

"Would you mind if a few others tagged along?" his eyes cast downward, a sheepish smile on his lips.

"Do you want to go with us, Baba?"

"Well…" he dragged out, "Suzanne has never left the country, neither has Melissa. Pavel and I are dying for a taste of home, so we thought we could accompany you for a night or two in St. Petersburg, a stop in Moscow, and then head down to Istanbul."

"I am sure he would be okay with it, I honestly wouldn't mind traveling down to Turkey. I haven't been since I was little."

"You just let me know, if he isn't for some reason, I will book us different flights."

"I'll send you our flight info, go ahead and book it," I smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek.

The night began to wind down, people said their goodbyes and we cleaned up the backyard. The kids and I, with the help of Lissa and Vika, had everything cleaned up, dishes done and put away and the boys loaded all the spare chairs and tables back into the garage. I hadn't seen Dimitri in about an hour, so I went on a search, finally finding him at the back gate of the property. There was a small river that ran behind the house, Dimitri was watching the water intently as it flowed quickly from the recent rain last week. I spoke up before touching him, not wanting to startle him.

"Are you okay, Comrade?", I placed my hand on his back when he didn't answer. I wasn't sure he had even heard me, "We're all cleaned up, whenever you're ready," I tried to draw his attention. Slowly he turned his head to look into my eyes, his own overflowing with tears.

"What is it, Dimitri?"

"I don't want to give it up," pain coating his thick accent, "I feel like I am letting him down by leaving the force."

"He would be proud of you, happy for you. You served your time, you have helped countless people, saved lives. He would want you to leave on a high note and enjoy your life."

I had read that officers who retire take one of three courses after retirement. One, they go back after a year at the max, finding that civilian life just doesn't suit them well and they need that sense of service in their everyday. Two, they find some other "law enforcement" type job, teaching criminal justice or becoming school police units. Third, they take their own life. Most that follow that third choice were in their forties, having served somewhere between fifteen to twenty years, and usually of higher rank. Dimitri was now forty-eight years old, served twenty years and ended his career as a Deputy Lieutenant, two rankings below the Chief. He was everything the statistics flagged for taking that route as opposed to the others.

The look on his face told me he as aware of that fact as I was, he was scared that he wouldn't be able to handle the civilian life.

"You don't think he would be mad, that I walked away."

"I think he would be happy that you made it, and now you get to spend the rest of your life living to the fullest, not with a target on your back." I rubbed soothing circles on his back, willing him to see the positive of leaving the force. "Besides, you were getting too old to keep up with the young guns," I laughed.

He joined me in a rich chuckle, "I still outrun and outshoot them any day, Roza, age has made me better, not worse."

"Don't I know it," I gave a saucy smile.

"I love you, woman," he turned, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I love you too."

I could hear Baba yelling from the house, saying we were needed in the living room. Dimitri and I exchanged glances before interlocking our fingers and walking back up the acre of yard. The guest had left, leaving only our family inside the house. Mason was the only person standing, everyone else had found a home on a couch or the floor. Dimitri sat in the last unoccupied chair, I took place on his lap and looked around for someone to explain.

"I wanted to wait until after everyone left to let you guys know..." Mason paused, looking at Dimitri and me, he continued, "I have decided what I want to do after graduation," he paused again.

We have been talking about this all year, he still hadn't given us an answer or any hint as to what he wanted to do after high school. He was a ball player like his Papa and brother, but he didn't hold the same drive and passion for the game like Dimitri had. He was incredibly brilliant, he could be anything he wanted with the mind he had. Something told me that it ran much deeper than that though. Dimitri and I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I want to follow Papa and Uncle Mason. I will go to college to major in criminal justice, upon graduating, I want to join Arlington PD."

My heart pounded against my rib cage, I had just got Dimitri out of that life, now my littlest baby is going into it. I should have known he would follow his namesake, but part of me prayed he chose another path. I couldn't help but ask, "Mase, are you sure? You can do anything you want?"

"Positive, Mama, I want to be an Officer. I know the challenges, I know the risk, but this is what I want to do."

I rose from Dimitri's lap, walking over to Mason, I took his face in my hands. He too got Dimitri's height, so my head was level with his chest, I had to crane my neck to look him in the eyes. Somehow, I blame my mother, he didn't share the brown eyes that everyone else in our family had. His were a cross of blue and green, much like my mothers family had. I could see the light in his eyes, the crinkle of the corners when he smiled.

In the face of my son, I saw my best friend.

"He would be proud of you, I am sorry you never got to meet him."

"Me too," he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around him, holding on for dear life. I guess it's true what they say, to some, the thin blue line is simply that, a line. To others, it's a family crest. We bleed blue every day, supporting our friends, our family, who walk that line. Sometimes, there is justice, and sometimes, there is just us. Those who directly walk or those who follow beside them.

 **We bleed blue, now and forever.**


End file.
